desertmum Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 This is my 6yo first year in school after being homeschooled for two years. Earlier this year DS had some stress issues (we moved back to the UK and DS had to face going to school, learn the rules, the routines, etc). He wouldn't let me out of the house to put the rubbish out if it meant staying by himself. After a lot of encouragement and praise we have overcome this problem. DS has never had any problems going to school and staying there without me. Anyway, the school has announced an overnight feld trip so they can learn about "transport" at XYZ place. To be honest, neither my husband not I are happy with a 6yo away overnight in a strange place without us. We think children should be at least 8yo before they spend the night out of the house. Our reasoning for this is that our 6yo may not be mature enought to handle certain situations or explain in great detail if something happens to him. The trip is not compulsory but when I asked around I was confronted by a great deal of hostility. Don't we trust the school to choose the right staff to chaperone the trip? Don't we want to foster independence in little junior? Don't we want DS to learn about transport? I felt we are being gangpressured into the trip. Well, DS has been to 3 different continents already by plane and boat, and train and car. He's an avid collector of model boats, model cars, model trains, and model space ships, etc. ....So, no, I don't think he is going to miss out on anything here. Are we being unreasonable in saying no to the trip? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 6yo is too young for a sleepover away from home, unless it's with grandparents or similar. I wouldn't do it. That staff is going to be sorry--imagine the number of homesick little ones they're going to have crying for an hour in the middle of the night! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Um. No. No, I don't trust the school to choose the right staff to chaperone the trip (even if they found Mary Poppins). No, I don't think it will foster independence in little junior. No, I couldn't care less if he learns about this "transport". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 6 is a little young for an overnight trip that doesn't include family. I wouldn't allow it. Good luck with your decision. I know it can be a real challenge to be the "odd man out." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I would be fine with it conceptually - I think many kids are ready at that age. My boys had their first sleepover away at a friend's at that age. But your ds sounds like he isn't ready, which also seems pretty normal to me, and there shouldn't be so much pressure to do it, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I would not send a 6yo on an overnight like you describe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classic Mom Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 No, 6 is too young. Somewhere around 10 seems "average" to me as far as kids being ready to handle that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peplophoros Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 No chance. I think 6 yrs is too young in general, but there are more serious things to consider. I hate to be paranoid, but the statistics for abuse in children is horrifying. Really, really horrifying. It happens ALL THE TIME, and in situations that parents can think are just fine (church outings, boy scouts, etc. etc.). Six is too young to be able to stand up to suggestive/inappropriate behavior from adults or other children. Keep him home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertmum Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 Wow. Thank you for the support. I spoke to my mum tonight and she agrees with me. She also said that I have to be prepared to be the "odd man out" but she also said part of being a parent is going with your instinct and sticking to your guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 The trip is not compulsory but when I asked around I was confronted by a great deal of hostility. Don't we trust the school to choose the right staff to chaperone the trip? Don't we want to foster independence in little junior? Don't we want DS to learn about transport? I felt we are being gangpressured into the trip. That would turn me off completely. And I like how in kids, following the crowd for the sake of following causes protests about the stupidity of such ("If your friend jumped off a building, would you?") but is the means to pressure you. Plenty of six year olds are not ready for this. They may be scared of the dark, wet the bed, or need help brushing their teeth, or whatever, and I wouldn't expect a non-relative to deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Interesting. I see you said you are in the UK. I recently read a book called Bringing Up Bebe, about an American expat raising her children in France. She said overnight trips around this age were common, I think she might have said more than one night. Are overnights common in the UK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 We did Girl Scout camp-outs at 6 with our troop, but a parent accompanied each child. A couple kids STILL were concerned about not being in a strange place. No way I'd send my 6-yo on his own... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Uhh.. We went camping with family this past summer and my six-year-old wouldn't even sleep in the tent next to me with her cousin (also 6). There's no way she'd do an overnighter without Mom or Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 Nope, not unreasonable at all. I wouldn't do it and wouldn't think twice about it either. DS is 13 now and we're still very strict about where and with whom he spends the night. So far, it has only been with grandparents and 3 different friends. On major school field trips my mother-in-law or I always went with him. There would be no question that an overnight field trip would have required me or my MIL as a chaperone or he simply would not have gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 My dds went to a week of girl scout camp (sleep over) at age 7, and were spending the night w/ friends by age 6 (so was ds). No way would they go on a school overnight at that age. My dc don't have any trouble w/ independence and what they didn't experience in "transport" they can read about or watch about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 There is no way my 6 year old would be staying over night with anyone except close trusted family members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Um. No. No, I don't trust the school to choose the right staff to chaperone the trip (even if they found Mary Poppins). No, I don't think it will foster independence in little junior. No, I couldn't care less if he learns about this "transport". :iagree: This. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 No way. I have a very mature and independent 6 year old. She would probably want to go, but I would not be comfortable sending her off on an overnight school field trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would be fine with it conceptually - I think many kids are ready at that age. My boys had their first sleepover away at a friend's at that age. But your ds sounds like he isn't ready, which also seems pretty normal to me, and there shouldn't be so much pressure to do it, I think. I think a sleepover at a trusted friend's house is vastly different than a class trip in a group setting. I am really shocked that they are attempting this with a group of kids this young. Our local elementary school does it's first overnight field trip away with 5th graders - 10 & 11 year olds. That seems like good timing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonlight Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 the only way i would even consider this would be if my six year old was begging to go......and the only way i would allow him to go would be if i could accompany him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I have never heard of a 6 yo going on an overnight school trip, it sounds crazy. The local schools here have a field trip away for 11 yos and I even know many parents who aren't so happy about their 11 yos staying away. I think a lot depends on the individual child. It has nothing to do with trust, but everything to do with knowing what's right for your child. It would be the fact that I felt such a pressure to go along with something I wasn't comfortable with that would cause me problems with trusting them. Follow your instincts and don't give in to the pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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