Janice in NJ Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 How do you motivate your teens to keep a schedule and a to-do list. On a daily basis? Slavishly. I have no more interest in startie-stoppie mediocrity. I need this to be a done-deal. Punishments or rewards? Oh - and forget ideology. I don't care about what should work. I care about what does work. What has worked for you? And what kind of kid did it work for? Because I have three that are motivated very differently. But they all have one thing in common. They agree that they are the most successful, they have the most self-esteem, and they are the most content when they make a schedule and a to-do list and then just work it. They also agree that they are unsuccessful and embarrassed when they don't. But then they don't do it on their own. Unless I insist on it and check to see that it's happening, it happens for a while - but then it stops happening. They go back to holding stuff in their heads and hoping for the best. (Which invariably leads to me screaming and ranting on about some lunatic ideology about responsibility and blah, blah, blah. Insanity!) So forget ideology about punishments and rewards. I don't care about which system comes from the good parents and which system comes from the bad parents. I don't think it's possible to reason my way to a good solution. This goes beyond reason; and I'm out of time/patience to fiddle around with this. (This is driving me nuts, and I've had it!) What works? (And if you are blessed to have kids who do what you say every time to the best of their ability because they want to please you, my hat is off to you. But your advice about how to strengthen the moral fiber of my children is going to fall on deaf ears. I'm done trying to strengthen moral fiber. Really - no hard feelings, but peddle that somewhere else. I want to find out what works with kids who lack a strong sense of duty. Moderate sense? Yes. Strong? Nope.) Punishments or rewards? Cash? Ruin their social life? Lay it on me! Peace, Janice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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