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Combining home and school in your family?


Would you let one or more of your kids attend school while the other/s home school?  

  1. 1. Would you let one or more of your kids attend school while the other/s home school?

    • Yes - we choose the best option for each child individually.
      83
    • No - it is fairer / better / easier for all children to be in the same educational setting.
      19
    • Other - my opinion in no way resembles either of the above options (please clarify).
      11


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What are your thoughts / feelings about having some of your children in school and some learning at home?

 

I'm after the general feeling of the hive as well as specific advice if you have any.

 

My little Ms 4 has begging to go to kindergarten when our new school year starts in February. I don't believe in letting a 4yo make her own decision on this, however we're thinking that it might well be good for her, partly for the chance to be with other 4yos which she currently doesn't get enough of, and partly so she can do all the painting, cutting and pasting, etc 4yo play activities that I don't have the time or energy to do with her often enough. Kinder here in Australia is mostly play based (it's actually pre-school, not what most of you'd call kinder), so I don't think it would jeopardize what we're doing with her in academics, although she might find learning about letters one at a time a bit boring since she can already read. But basically she'd just be doing 5 hours per day, 3 days per week, of fun activities.

 

Ms 7 has also asked to try school; she would be entering grade two in February and we have reservations about it. The pros - she would get that social contact that she's missing out on, and she might get a bit of a kick along with literacy skills that she is lacking. The cons - she might lose her confidence if she is near the bottom of the class, although I'd be doing some after-schooling to try to help her keep up. (She is not learning disabled, she just hasn't really got interested in reading yet, and we haven't pushed it that hard.) Our biggest worry, though, is that she might be subject to a lot of peer pressure and develop some of the bad attitudes that some 7yos seem to have. She's a very innocent, 'young' 7yo - horses are the main thing in her life, and she has no idea about fashion, girly stuff, consumerism, peer pressure, how girls behave in cliques - she will just try to be friends with everyone regardless of age/gender/differences, and it would be so sad for that to change.

 

Mr 9 will not be going to school. Way too many issues. I think he would benefit immensely from the one on one time I could give him while the girls were at school, but I'm not sure it is right to be taking the potential benefits to him into account when deciding what to do with his sisters. Would that be taking everyone's needs into consideration, or would it be sacrificing one kid for the sake of the other?

 

It's likely that the schooling would be temporary. Right now I am not well and not able to give the kids all the attention and social life that they need. But hopefully when I get myself a bit more together, I will be able to do home ed social stuff again, so we will have the capacity to meet these needs without school.

 

But I'm wondering, is it realistic to hope that the girls will make friends at school and then keep those friends if they go back to homeschooling? I personally know one home-schooled child who has lots of schooled friends, but she is extremely outgoing and socially adept. For a socially average and fairly quiet child, would this work, or is it more likely that any school friends would drift away once they don't see each other at school any more? This could be more difficult than our current situation.

 

Also, is school likely to teach the girls that they need to do school? Will they be so indoctrinated that they will hate it if we pull them out again?

Edited by Hotdrink
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We know many people who have kids in several types of schools. Whatever is best for the child is the most important thing IMO. Some kids need a big public school, some need a small private school, and some do better at home. It is not a big deal where they are as long as it is best for them.just my .02. :001_smile:

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It is based on the child and their individual needs. My eldest was homeschooled 3rd-6th. He thrives in the public school environment and loves the social aspect of school. Our second has been homeschooled since 2nd grade. He wanted to try public school in 6th grade. After 6 weeks, he came home for school. He is now in 9th grade and loves being homeschooled. He runs on the cross country team of the local highschool along with our eldest. He lettered this year and will get a letterjacket for Christmas. He feels he has the best of both worlds- school at home and athletics at the public school. Our third and fourth have never been to public school. The third one wants to always be homeschooled while the youngest thinks she wants to try public school when older. Each year we discuss the pros and cons with each child and then make the decision on a child by child basis.

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Ideally, I would like to have them all at home. It was a desperate situation that led me to put one in school, and she thrives there. I see some of the value of outside school, but it would be nice to have them all at home.

 

P.S. Earlier today, I was ready to send them all to school. ;-)

Edited by NJKelli
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Both my kids are currently homeschooled but I have considered sending my daughter to school if she wants to go. My son is unlikely to go to school until college (if then) due to chronic illness and learning disabilities.

 

I've also known families that have had one or more kids in school and one or more homeschooling, and it's worked well, so I have good examples of it.

 

I wouldn't send one child to school out of frustration with homeschooling him or her, though. It would have to be a positive thing, not negative. I wouldn't want one kid to feel pushed out of the homeschool.

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I would not do it unless there was a very good reason for doing so. It would have to be something along the lines of the school being able to provide something needed that I couldn't provide. And honestly, I cannot fathom what that would be, but either way I do want the best situation for each kid so I'm not too proud to send them to school if that was the case.

 

:iagree:

 

In general, I want homeschooling for both, so to say I'm choosing the best option for them as individuals doesn't quite fit. I chose the best option for all of us and it is easier and better to have everyone in one place. But if an issue arose that meant we needed to send one child to school for a specific reason, then I'd be open to that.

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I've always chosen for each child, each year based on what was right for that child. My older dd is currently in a school that is in every way possible perfect for her. Right now, each girl is where she belongs, and they both know it.

 

I have never believed unconditionally in homeschooling, but I've always been an advocate for my kids getting the best possible education they can have.

Edited by Karen in CO
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Ideally I think either all the children are home or all at school but in real life that doesn't always work. Our pediatrician gave us advice at the beginning of our homeschooling journey 13 years ago to either homeschool them all or none so that they all feel treated equal.

 

God Bless,

 

Elise in NC

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Right now, they're all home. We've had some in school and some at home and will do it again. We have one child who has never been to school, but I know would be happier in school, so when a good situation presents itself, she'll go. I have another who has been to school, chose to go home, and is choosing to go back. She has shown a lot of maturity and sound reasoning in her decision, and we see no reason not to honor it. I have two others, one who has been to school and one who has not. While I know they'd be successful in that environment, they are happier at home, and I plan to honor their wishes to stay home for as long as it is feasible for our family.

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We let our kids choose their schooling. If they make a decision about school that ends up being a poor choice then we override the decision. We are the parents. So far we haven't had to do this, but I have changed my stance on different scenarios based on our previous experiences - I won't be sending anyone to the award winning vocational school again - too many bad influences.

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I have one at school full-time, two at home full-time, and one (oldest) who goes to school for band. I allow her to stay for PE simply because it is more convenient for me, but I could take or leave it.

 

Homeschooling is part of my family's DNA, too (so never say never). I never would have put my son in school if I felt that there was another way. Without going into too much detail, it was not safe for his younger sister for him to be at home--and that with near constant supervision. He has actually done pretty well in school--I wouldn't say thriving, but it is a better fit for his issues than being at home. My desire is to be able to bring him home at some point, but we have some work to do before that can happen.

 

All that to say I never would have chosen to have one in school and the rest at home, and it is hard to be pulled in two different directions, particularly when it comes to our co-op. Having DD there part-time makes it even harder. School days aren't as bad, I just make him do school with us, and we do a shorter than normal day. I homeschool him over the summer and on breaks from school and we take our days off when he's in school, to give him the structure he needs.

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We've always believed, within reason, in letting our kids decide what's best for them as far as schooling. As such, oldest DS returned to public school as a freshman for high school after being homeschooled for four years. He's a junior now and we've been thrilled at how well he's thrived in that environment. Youngest DS believes his path will be homeschooling for high school. And that's okay, too.

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Sorry, I took so long to type up the rest of the post (kid related interruptions) that there are a heap of replies already :lol:

 

If it's not too much trouble, I'd appreciate if you can read the whole post and advise what you would do?

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OP - we had a mix of kids in elementary school. It worked out fine.

 

When DS16 was a 5th grader, he was having trouble in school. We pulled him out mid-year so I could work with him, but left little DD (then 1st grade) at the same school and the older two in public jr. high and high school. It was nice having just DS at home so we could concentrate on the areas that needed work. Later on, we added little DD to the homeschool team and it was good too.

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We consider ourselves a home schooling family, but that doesn't mean that all kids are exclusively home schooled. It seems obvious to us that the best thing for our disabled dd is going to school where she has an aide and services such as PT and OT. She loves school. I would not have time to home school very well if she was home full time because her care requires a lot from me.

 

We also plan to have our kids in school as high schoolers. In anticipation of that, middle dd is taking some classes at middle school (band last year, band and science this year). It's harder to get all of our home school stuff done, but we think it's good for dd. Our youngest is only home schooled, but when she's middle school aged, we expect her to take some classes as her sister is doing now.

 

It can be a challenge to have different schedules and have to drive kids to school, etc., but we're pretty well satisfied with this plan.

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We took similar but slightly different paths for both of our boys. The older started at the local PS in 10th grade, but the younger was ready in 8th. We continued to after-school the older son through HS, and are doing the same with the younger son. We focused on Latin and writing with the older son. Our younger boy prefers to take Spanish, so we're after-schooling some extra Spanish study (he takes a class at the local middle school) and we do plenty of extra writing.

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What are your thoughts / feelings about having some of your children in school and some learning at home?

 

I'm after the general feeling of the hive as well as specific advice if you have any.

 

My little Ms 4 has begging to go to kindergarten when our new school year starts in February. I don't believe in letting a 4yo make her own decision on this, however we're thinking that it might well be good for her, partly for the chance to be with other 4yos which she currently doesn't get enough of, and partly so she can do all the painting, cutting and pasting, etc 4yo play activities that I don't have the time or energy to do with her often enough. Kinder here is mostly play based, so I don't think it would jeopardize what we're doing with her in academics, although she might find learning about letters one at a time a bit boring since she can already read. But basically she'd just be doing 5 hours per day, 3 days per week, of fun activities.

 

Ms 7 has also asked to try school; she would be entering grade two in February and we have reservations about it. The pros - she would get that social contact that she's missing out on, and she might get a bit of a kick along with literacy skills that she is lacking. The cons - she might lose her confidence if she is near the bottom of the class, although I'd be doing some after-schooling to try to help her keep up. (She is not learning disabled, she just hasn't really got interested in reading yet, and we haven't pushed it that hard.) Our biggest worry, though, is that she might be subject to a lot of peer pressure and develop some of the bad attitudes that some 7yos seem to have. She's a very innocent, 'young' 7yo - horses are the main thing in her life, and she has no idea about fashion, girly stuff, consumerism, peer pressure, how girls behave in cliques - she will just try to be friends with everyone regardless of age/gender/differences, and it would be so sad for that to change.

 

Mr 9 will not be going to school. Way too many issues. I think he would benefit immensely from the one on one time I could give him while the girls were at school, but I'm not sure it is right to be taking the potential benefits to him into account when deciding what to do with his sisters. Would that be taking everyone's needs into consideration, or would it be sacrificing one kid for the sake of the other?

 

It's likely that the schooling would be temporary. Right now I am not well and not able to give the kids all the attention and social life that they need. But hopefully when I get myself a bit more together, I will be able to do home ed social stuff again, so we will have the capacity to meet these needs without school.

 

But I'm wondering, is it realistic to hope that the girls will make friends at school and then keep those friends if they go back to homeschooling? I personally know one home-schooled child who has lots of schooled friends, but she is extremely outgoing and socially adept. For a socially average and fairly quiet child, would this work, or is it more likely that any school friends would drift away once they don't see each other at school any more? This could be more difficult than our current situation.

 

Also, is school likely to teach the girls that they need to do school? Will they be so indoctrinated that they will hate it if we pull them out again?

 

In this situation, I would not put the kids in school. For us, school was a last resort (except for DD12's music education, but being a part-time student going for a specific purpose is different than just going to go).

 

Our kids' social needs are met through family, co-op, church, and extra curriculars. I think it would be very hard to maintain friendships with kids who are in school if your kids are homeschooled. For my family, they are completely different schedules--most homeschooled kids I know do school in the morning, have free time in the afternoon, extracurriculars and dinner in the evening, and family time on the weekend.

 

Afterschooling is a nice idea, but almost impossible to implement. Kids are tired after a long day of school, and they have homework. They're not up for more homework, not to mention the fact that you will basically be homeschooling twice (I spend almost as much time doing homework with my son as I do homeschooling my girls).

 

Also, kindergarten now is much different than it was when we were kids. There's a lot more pressure to perform. She's not just going to go and play and do fun projects all day.

 

If you are not well and can't devote yourself to their educations, put them in school. But your younger girls' academic needs can likely be met in a couple hours a day--it is easy to spend that much time getting them out the door, welcoming them home, communicating with teachers, and helping with homework. They may love school and not want to come home or they may be completely fine with coming home...every kid is different in that area. My son is afraid of middle school and is hoping to be able to come home after 5th grade.

 

My personal belief is that school is not usually best for kids, and that when it is it takes as much time as homeschooling to do it right. YMMV.

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I wouldn't trust an Australian public school to teach a child to read. If your kiddo is having trouble with one on one teaching from you, it'll only be worse at school. The Reading Recovery program is a crock.

 

I think sending your youngest to kinder is worth a try, assuming Australian dialect usage meaning PreK. You can pull her out if she hates it.

 

Rosie

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We decide year by year and each child individually. We have send our kids to classes that I am not able to teach like gym, swimming, ceramics.

 

I would let the 4yr old go to school and just call it going to a playgroup. It would let your child have fun messing up a place and you get time to concentrate on your older two.

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My boys have been going to public school for the past 3 years while dd has been home. It works great for us this way.

 

The only problem we have is that I am used to being able to go places when I want like I did when homeschooling them all but now I have to consider their school calendar.

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Our younger DS is in public school because he has special needs, and they can provide services there that I just can't.

 

It's the best thing for him, but it is hard sometimes. Things aren't fair, and I hate it. But this is what he needs.

 

We're also homeschooling on a year-to-year basis with the other children. If I ever think that they can receive a better education elsewhere, then we'll stop homeschooling. My number one concern is that they are as well-educated as possible...if that means public school someday, then so be it.

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Didn't read the whole thread yet, but we currently have dd10 at home, dd6 in school, and dd3 in a preschool for 2hrs/day 4 days/week.

 

It's a PAIN. I'm realizing more and more that some of my difficulties are due to the constant running around that I do.

 

I think each individual child is in the best scenario for them, but I'm not convinced that it's the best for our family and may change what we do in the near future.

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Didn't read the whole thread yet, but we currently have dd10 at home, dd6 in school, and dd3 in a preschool for 2hrs/day 4 days/week.

 

It's a PAIN. I'm realizing more and more that some of my difficulties are due to the constant running around that I do.

 

I think each individual child is in the best scenario for them, but I'm not convinced that it's the best for our family and may change what we do in the near future.

 

This is us but we are saved by the bus and preschool carpool. It actually works out nicely.

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I have one ds in school (private) and four kids at home. We chose it for him because he is very bright and needed more challenge/competition than I could give him. Now, I probably COULD have given him what he needs if I didn't also have a teenager, a kid with LDs, a preschooler and a toddler. But I'm just one person and I refuse to fool myself that just by being around me (even if I'm totally frayed and have super-limited resources), that kid will be getting the best education possible. Nope. He's at an excellent school where he is being stretched in so many ways he just couldn't be at home. His self-motivated sister doesn't need a brick and mortar school to excel. His LD brother needs to be home to receive the one-on-one he needs, at his pace. But this kid is thriving at school. No regrets.

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I chose other. There are some instances in which I could imagine letting a child go to school but overall we feel homeschooling is superior so we choose for them (all) to be home. Here's the catch though and something to consider:

 

The most "social" children, the ones that want to go the most, the ones that seek others and to be around others, they should be in school the LEAST.

 

They should have closely supervised socialization.

 

Don't put your 4yo in school.

 

 

I have a 10yo who is a natural little Miss Social. I cannot think of a thing she'd love more than to be in school surrounded by children. We will *never* put her in school in any way that I can imagine. We really want her to discover her own person and instead of fulfilling what others will expect her to be.

 

I think the least social kids could profit, but then of course, they will have to deal with the pitfalls of being anti-social in a social environment and the bullying that can result.

 

However, I also chose other because we would *never* put anyone in anything to be "fair." It has to be my least favorite word in the English language. If we put one in, that decision would in no way compel us to put in another.

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If it can at all be avoided, we will do the same schooling for all children. I can't even imagine needing to work around a school schedule while trying to homeschool. It just wouldn't work for us.

 

If they all go to school, I will go back to work.

 

Dawn

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The most "social" children, the ones that want to go the most, the ones that seek others and to be around others, they should be in school the LEAST.

 

They should have closely supervised socialization.

.....

I have a 10yo who is a natural little Miss Social. I cannot think of a thing she'd love more than to be in school surrounded by children. We will *never* put her in school in any way that I can imagine. We really want her to discover her own person and instead of fulfilling what others will expect her to be.

 

Could you explain this a bit more please?

Do you think that all kids who are extroverted or crave socializing are going to be swayed by peer pressure and external expectations?

Wouldn't the more social kids tend to be leaders, and the ones who find it harder to fit in be more keen to meet expectations?

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My extremely social kid is a born leader. He is not a follower and refuses to confine himself to a mold others have. He was starting to feel lonely and just wanted to be around people. He thrives on having people around him. He is so glad to be back in public school. He is on the honor roll, well respected by peers, teachers, and parents, he is athletic, popular with guys and girls, loves the Lord, involved in community service, and is all around a great guy. He is now a 16 year old sophomore and is making his college plans already. It was a hard decision to send him back to public school and there are times that it really feels like an inconvenience. I know that it was the best choice we could make for him and he continues to show us that we were not wrong in the choice we made. No one can tell you what is best for you- each family and child is different.

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I chose other. There are some instances in which I could imagine letting a child go to school but overall we feel homeschooling is superior so we choose for them (all) to be home. Here's the catch though and something to consider:

 

The most "social" children, the ones that want to go the most, the ones that seek others and to be around others, they should be in school the LEAST.

 

They should have closely supervised socialization.

 

Don't put your 4yo in school.

 

 

I have a 10yo who is a natural little Miss Social. I cannot think of a thing she'd love more than to be in school surrounded by children. We will *never* put her in school in any way that I can imagine. We really want her to discover her own person and instead of fulfilling what others will expect her to be.

 

I think the least social kids could profit, but then of course, they will have to deal with the pitfalls of being anti-social in a social environment and the bullying that can result.

 

However, I also chose other because we would *never* put anyone in anything to be "fair." It has to be my least favorite word in the English language. If we put one in, that decision would in no way compel us to put in another.

 

I don't feel this is true across the board. I have one of those social kids who begged to go to school - to middle school, no less. She's in her second year and thriving! She's in the Honor's Program and an A student. She has not been swayed or pressured into changing into someone she's not. She dresses the same, still doesn't care about hair, clothes, or makeup but has lots of friends and is truly happy. She is definitely a happier person in school.

 

I'm not sure yet what we'll do with younger dd. I don't feel she would do well in a brick and mortar school just yet. She wants to go but we will reevaluate year to year.

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I put yes, though I don't forsee any reason other than myself getting seriously sick that would bring me to want to send my kids to school. Of course, I have only one I'm working with one right now, and she's a pretty great student. I could be ignorant though. :)

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Well I have talked to Ms 7 a bit more and it seems that a lot of this is nothing more than curiosity about what school is like. So after speaking with the principle of our local school, she is going to school as a visitor for half a day. Obviously there's a fair chance that they will be making an effort to get her to like it, however she has already come up with the idea of asking other girls what they think of school, so clearly she isn't planning on uncritical acceptance of what the principle and teacher say.

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Our boys are homeschooled until age 11, when they move on to the very excellent secondary school which is just a ten minute walk away from our house.

 

Also, as none of the local schools are truly terrible I believe in allowing the boys to make their own choices about where they go to school. Generally I believe that during the early years homeschooling is much gentler and much more efficient than school. I don't feel any great need to homeschool though, I often wish we weren't.

 

DS13 has never been homeschooled, while DS11 was homeschooled for three years and DS8 and DS5 are still at home. DS5 quite fancies going to school at the moment, and I'd be very happy to let him, but DS8 wants to stay at home and DS5 mostly just wants to be with DS8 :001_smile:.

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