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Overwhelmed by homeschooling drawbacks


warmthnstrength
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I guess I didn't see that. I'll have to re-read the thread. Most of us said we didn't have the time or interest to follow the latest fashions, but that's not the same as saying we are bedraggled! I am quite neat and presentable, thank you, and so are all the homeschooling Moms of my acquaintance.

 

We also said that we can't "play house" all day but we all spoke of the various ways we handle housekeeping as homeschooling mothers. We don't clean while everyone is gone for the day, but our houses are quite clean.

 

It's not either/or. It's a matter of priorities, time management, and tremendous hard work, whatever kind of mother you are or how you educate your kids. People tend to do the things they really want to do. If you care about keeping a very clean house, as I do, you'll get it done somehow, even if you homeschool. If you want to stay physically fit, you will get up at 5 a.m. and work out, even if you homeschool. If you want to go to Bible studies in the school day, you will arrange for the childcare and fit the missed lessons into your evening. It all depends on your own health and determination. Your homeschool would be an outgrowth of yourself. It's not a club that you join. It's an extension of your life and your convictions.

 

If you don't think you can homeschool without turning into a slouchy mess or letting your house go to pot, don't do it.

 

:iagree: I was a little taken aback about the super messy house and bedraggled mom comment. To some of us it's not a priority to be dressed to the nines in the latest fashion or to have a spotless BH&G photo shoot of a home, but that doesn't mean we just let it all go to he!! in a handbasket either.

 

If those things are important to you, you find a way to make the time for them.

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:iagree: I was a little taken aback about the super messy house and bedraggled mom comment. To some of us it's not a priority to be dressed to the nines in the latest fashion or to have a spotless BH&G photo shoot of a home, but that doesn't mean we just let it all go to he!! in a handbasket either.

 

If those things are important to you, you find a way to make the time for them.

:iagree:

Great post, Tibbie.

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I think most of us go through seasons with the house. When my 3 were all under 5 it was harder to keep up with everything. Now they can all help and together we keep the house looking clean. I suppose it might not live up to magazine standards but it is sanitary and company ready most of time.

 

I don't always have on my latest in fashion, but that has more to do with knowing what I want to ruin. We do hands on, messy life and I would prefer to have my nicer clothes without paint stains. That doesn't mean that I always look frumpy, but I don't always look trendy either.

 

We all prioritize. If having a perfect house and the latest trend on all the time is what you consider important than it is possible homeschooling is not for you. If you are willing to compromise and know that there will be seasons when other things will take priority, then you should consider homeschooling.

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Um, my husband does a lot of the household stuff. He's better at it than I am.

 

I however, do the laundry, grocery shopping, and any fix-up work the house needs. I am more handy than he is. I can fix anything, caulk the tub, clean the drains, plunge toilets, climb up on ladders....

 

When I make a bed, it doesn't look as good as when my husband makes it. It is a proven fact.

 

Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and your own personality fits into the lifestyle. if you can't make 3 appts. before you homeschool, you won't be able to do it when you HS either. If you ar ewell kept before HS, you will continue to do so....I look fabulous when I get out of my PJs.

 

So what? If that is what worries you about HSing.... :smilielol5:

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My house is cleaner now than it was when my oldest was in school. Again, the school aged child is the helper. Actually, all my kids can chip in cleaning now. I hand them a load of their clothes, and the 3 of them fold everything and put it away. They love to wash windows, dust, and my 6 year old even likes cleaning toilets! And as long as I frequently throughout the day remind them to pick up their toys, the house stays pretty clean.

 

My fashion and appearance haven't changed with homeschooling. Actually, I'm probably a tiny bit more fashionable. Nothing about homeschooling prevents me from clothes shopping or getting a haircut. I probably go a bit more often because I don't have to make sure I'm back to the school by 2pm, plus when I went out in the morning to drop kid off, nothing was open yet except the grocery store and Walmart, so I'd go home and not feel like getting out again an hour or two later only to have to rush back for pickup time.

 

If you are organized and set priorities, you can do the things that are important to you.

 

Oh, and my mom cleaned the house while I was at school. Downside? I never learned how to clean or maintain a house. I fight laziness to this day because of that. My boys are learning to work (they get plenty of playtime too ;) ).

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I guess I didn't see that. I'll have to re-read the thread. Most of us said we didn't have the time or interest to follow the latest fashions, but that's not the same as saying we are bedraggled! I am quite neat and presentable, thank you, and so are all the homeschooling Moms of my acquaintance.

 

We also said that we can't "play house" all day but we all spoke of the various ways we handle housekeeping as homeschooling mothers. We don't clean while everyone is gone for the day, but our houses are quite clean.

 

It's not either/or. It's a matter of priorities, time management, and tremendous hard work, whatever kind of mother you are or how you educate your kids. People tend to do the things they really want to do. If you care about keeping a very clean house, as I do, you'll get it done somehow, even if you homeschool. If you want to stay physically fit, you will get up at 5 a.m. and work out, even if you homeschool. If you want to go to Bible studies in the school day, you will arrange for the childcare and fit the missed lessons into your evening. It all depends on your own health and determination. Your homeschool would be an outgrowth of yourself. It's not a club that you join. It's an extension of your life and your convictions.

 

If you don't think you can homeschool without turning into a slouchy mess or letting your house go to pot, don't do it.

 

Yeah, I didn't read the posts that way either.

 

:iagree: I was a little taken aback about the super messy house and bedraggled mom comment. To some of us it's not a priority to be dressed to the nines in the latest fashion or to have a spotless BH&G photo shoot of a home, but that doesn't mean we just let it all go to he!! in a handbasket either.

 

If those things are important to you, you find a way to make the time for them.

:iagree:

 

Yes, my house can't make a magazine, but it is clean. It might not always be tidy, and there are books everywhere, but it is cozy and clean.

 

I also would not call myself bedraggled. I have always been a jeans and t shirt gal, but I am showered and my hair is brushed and in a neat pony or braid. I don't wear make up (never had) but my face is cleaned and moisturized. I am also the one whose kids join her when getting her eyebrows waxed.

 

OP, you were asking about time management and how to get things done with kids in tow, that is what I answered. I think you need to re read if you were seeing the responses as us being a bedraggled mess with dirty houses and displeased husbands.

 

My husband loves coming home to a house filled with music and laughter. I might not be dressed to the 9's, but he gets lots of hugs and love when he enters our house.

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Yeah, I didn't read the posts that way either.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Yes, my house can't make a magazine, but it is clean. It might not always be tidy, and there are books everywhere, but it is cozy and clean.

 

I also would not call myself bedraggled. I have always been a jeans and t shirt gal, but I am showered and my hair is brushed and in a neat pony or braid. I don't wear make up (never had) but my face is cleaned and moisturized. I am also the one whose kids join her when getting her eyebrows waxed.

 

OP, you were asking about time management and how to get things done with kids in tow, that is what I answered. I think you need to re read if you were seeing the responses as us being a bedraggled mess with dirty houses and displeased husbands.

 

My husband loves coming home to a house filled with music and laughter. I might not be dressed to the 9's, but he gets lots of hugs and love when he enters our house.

 

Agreed with this and the quoted posts. I keep myself neat and presentable, casual, but clean, eyebrows waxed, hair brushed (if not recently highlighted), etc. I do wear makeup when we go "out."

 

Just... yes. We're not total disasters. It's a different set of priorities.

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There are many of us who bathe and dress in a reasonably stylish way daily (sometimes even with jewelry :tongue_smilie:), get regular haircuts (and other self-care as required), keep clean homes, feed our family wholesome home cooked meals 3x a day, have regular date nights and nightly time alone with our spouses, stake out a bit of time for ourselves, and still manage to educate the children.

 

Really? How do you do that? why am I such a miserable failure? I only have time to clean my home a couple of times per year, shower once per week, shave annually, and change my pj outfits monthly. I no longer care about running to Walmart in pj's and snow boots, regardless of the season, to get our supply of Poptarts and hot dogs for meals. I just don't have time to care what anyone else thinks.

 

Date nights are absolutely out, and HOW do you find time for a haircut? I just give myself a buzz cut every month or so. It helps keep lice away, too.

 

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

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Really? How do you do that? why am I such a miserable failure? I only have time to clean my home a couple of times per year, shower once per week, shave annually, and change my pj outfits monthly. I no longer care about running to Walmart in pj's and snow boots, regardless of the season, to get our supply of Poptarts and hot dogs for meals. I just don't have time to care what anyone else thinks.

 

Date nights are absolutely out, and HOW do you find time for a haircut? I just give myself a buzz cut every month or so. It helps keep lice away, too.

 

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

 

Oh Denise. You must not be working hard enough :toetap05:

 

Seriously . Come ON you women. I mean I have time to make everything from scratch, educate my kids, transport them to and fro 4 times a week, all while maintaining a size 2 and giving BJ's after hourse. PUUUU LEEAZE. You freaking whiners. Pfffft.

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Oh Denise. You must not be working hard enough :toetap05:

 

Seriously . Come ON you women. I mean I have time to make everything from scratch, educate my kids, transport them to and fro 4 times a week, all while maintaining a size 2 and giving BJ's after hourse. PUUUU LEEAZE. You freaking whiners. Pfffft.

 

I'm sorry. I don't mean to whine. It's just that in my 14 years of homeschooling I have not figured out a better way. I haven't seen the color of my floor in years, and sometimes I miss the days when I could actually SEE outside my windows. Oh well. At least my kids know their multiplication facts by the time they graduate high school, so I can say with confidence that I am doing SOMETHING right.

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I'm sorry. I don't mean to whine. It's just that in my 14 years of homeschooling I have not figured out a better way. I haven't seen the color of my floor in years, and sometimes I miss the days when I could actually SEE outside my windows. Oh well. At least my kids know their multiplication facts by the time they graduate high school, so I can say with confidence that I am doing SOMETHING right.

 

It is OK, Denise. We are obviously all hiding out from CPS and the health department. Oh, and Clinton and Stacey from What Not to Wear. Maybe when the kids all graduate, we can leave our homes again in real clothes instead of pajama pants.

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Really? How do you do that? why am I such a miserable failure? I only have time to clean my home a couple of times per year, shower once per week, shave annually, and change my pj outfits monthly. I no longer care about running to Walmart in pj's and snow boots, regardless of the season, to get our supply of Poptarts and hot dogs for meals. I just don't have time to care what anyone else thinks.

 

Date nights are absolutely out, and HOW do you find time for a haircut? I just give myself a buzz cut every month or so. It helps keep lice away, too.

 

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

 

Oh, good. I thought I was the only one!

 

:lol::lol::lol:

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It is OK, Denise. We are obviously all hiding out from CPS and the health department. Oh, and Clinton and Stacey from What Not to Wear. Maybe when the kids all graduate, we can leave our homes again in real clothes instead of pajama pants.

 

Do I have to wait that long to wear my jean jumper again?

 

That is just for homeschool conferences. And maybe church.

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

I'm going to sleep.

 

I cannot keep up with your fashion forward sense :crying:

 

Maybe tomorrow after I have slept.

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FWIW, I do send my oldest to school (1st grade) and have 4 YO twins at home in preschool 3 mornings a week. We afterschool at home. Life still feels like how you describe. My public school friends who do nothing for school other than pick up and drop off also have the same struggles. My ideal is how you described growing up, but even with the school hours we are not getting there. Everyone complains about the same things - keeping up the house, getting to appointments and having to drag kids along at inconvenient times (often it's just hard to schedule during school anyway). Good luck! I am hoping more experience will help me and that you will find the same!

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Just jumped in and haven't read all the replies you've gotten. We did 3 years in public then private schools before going to homeschooling. Having child in school did make a time when appointments could be gone to--BUT there was then often the stress of timing it so as not to be late for pick up time. And the stress as a delay would happen.

 

Nearly everything else has been easier in terms of schedule and so on doing homeschool compared to bricks and mortar school. B&M school had a constant barrage of demands on parent--everything from (essentially being asked to afterschool on top of regular school) having to oversee and supervise hours of homework (at an incredibly young age), to fundraisers to get involved with, last minute demands to "Just" go out and buy a ________ (item for a fundraiser, outfit for a special event, you name it), bring in a __________ , or cook up a ________ for the bake sale/class soup day/ or other such. Help child go door to door to sell _________, or hit up all ones friends buy whatever the school was selling. Or in the case of the private school which did not have cleaning crew, even a demand that the parents spend much time and energy working on cleaning the classroom (and other parts of the school) for the teacher, when that energy was needed at home for cleaning there. The homework aspect was worse at the public school (over an hour per day even in Kindy), the special outfits, cleaning and cooking demands, etc. worse at the private school, fundraising demands incredibly frequent at both.

 

I also have health issues, and it was exhausting and far more difficult to deal with the intense B&M demands, especially last minute things that might not fit ones own life outside of the school, as compared to homeschool and dealing with the sometimes need to find a babysitter. For homeschool, I can work things in as I need to. I can schedule breaks in seat work to do active housework. I can have a less intense day if needed. I can do a completely different schedule that fits what we need, instead of a standard one. And if ds is going to do chores, they are home chores rather than cleaning the school chalkboards or washing the school desks. He can help wash our car, rather than working in a fundraiser carwash to get money for some school activity. He can learn to cook at lunch instead of having to figure out what is reasonably nutritious that can fit in a sack and not be squashed or icky by lunchtime--and it doesn't need to be prepared at 6AM or the night before. We can breakfast while watching a math video, rather than trying to wolf something down before the schoolbus comes, or before a long drive to get to private school.

 

btw, I have things to do at appointments or for other "waiting" times ready to go in car for when needed, this includes workbooks for school, that parallel what we are doing, but do not get used as our core for a subject, books of things like mazes, travel chess game sets, etc.. It has changed as son has gotten older, and would be different if I had more than one, but that has helped tremendously.

Edited by Pen
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Denise! :lol: I think your posts made my day!

 

In all reality, we just work things out. Sometimes I take the kids along to errands, appointments, etc. Sometimes I schedule them for when my husband is off so I can go alone. Sometimes I'll get my mom or someone to watch the kids for me while I go.

 

I have "me" time. For one thing I tend to wake up earlier than my kids and get to sit with my coffee, computer, and so on. When the kids are in bed, I have a bit more time. I plan some "mom's night out" events for my homeschool group, get a sitter (or husband) to watch the kids, and get to go have dinner and drinks with some friends. Sometimes my husband and I get a sitter and go out together without the kids. Sometimes we go to another homeschooling family's/friend's house with the kids, and our kids all go play together and the adults can hang out and socialize. During the normal course of a typical day if I need some down time, the kids are more than happy to play and amuse themselves or each other for a bit so I can go take a break and do my own thing for a bit.

 

I won't profess to being the world's neatest housekeeper. That doesn't mean my house is gross, though. We keep up with what needs to be kept up with as well as we can, usually doing some basic chores before schoolwork. The kids all pitch in with what needs to be done and I'm not afraid to ask my husband, "Can you do this for me?" if I need his help with something. I mean I usually do the basics (with the kid's help) but if we're having a "thorough cleaning day" rather than just maintenance I might ask him if he can do this, that, or the other thing, and he does it. If things ever seem like they're just getting too messy or cluttered, which happens periodically, everything grinds to a halt, I call everyone over and assign jobs, we get it done, and when I'm happy with the way things look and the way I feel about it, we move on to whatever else needs to be done.

 

You just learn to juggle, prioritize, and go with the flow, if homeschooling is worth it to you. And it is to me. Can it be a bit harder when the kids are very young? Sure. But they don't stay very young forever (another reason to not miss out on it). I like giving them the opportunity to have more of a childhood. I like getting to experience more of their childhood. I like spending time with them, doing fun outings and projects with them, reading lots of books with them, being in charge of our time and having the freedom to do the things we want. When my daughter was in school (which she was until toward the end of 3rd grade in March of 2009) it always felt like my time wasn't my own and my whole schedule had to revolve around the school- bus schedules, homework, "it's a school night," stuff the school wanted, having to get "permission" for outings and vacations on school days, and so on and so forth.

 

If you want to spend more time with your kids, take charge of their education, have more of that type of freedom and so on, you'll make it happen. If you don't, you won't. If you do will your priorities have to shift a bit, particularly while the kids are young? Sure. That's why they're called priorities.

 

P.S. Kindergarten really is not that time consuming. And how did you get all your errands and appointments taken care of before your child became school age? You just do it the same way after they become school age. You manage. And you ask yourself, "When I'm old, and my kids are grown, and I'm looking back, am I going to wish they'd been out of my hair more so the house could be cleaner and the errands could be more convenient and I could have more time to myself, or am I going to wish I'd had more time with them, done more things with them, worried less about superficial stuff and more about just being and bonding with my kids before I blinked and they were older, grown, gone?" I know MY answer to that, and I make my choices largely based on that.

Edited by NanceXToo
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I am just now finally reading through the multiple pages of this thread, but I seriously applauded right here at my computer after reading this. For me, perfectly said. Actually, I'm going to save it for me to read when I need the boost!

 

I'm with Maus; all the public-school SAHM's I know are killing themselves all day, just as much as we homeschoolers do.

 

Every single one that I know...

 

does something for extra income, whether cleaning houses, doing administrative work from home, tutoring, or child care...

volunteers at her kids' schools...

does the bulk of the volunteering at church...

might also be looking after elderly parents or grandparents...

homeschooling one of their children for whom ps is a disaster...

and basically afterschooling their ps kids to try to make up for the ps failure to teach basic math and English.

 

Nobody's watching the soaps and baking cookies anymore. Women are working, wherever they spend their day. Anybody baking cookies does that alongside their kids or while their kids sleep.

 

I prefer to spend my day doing what I believe to be best for my own family, and that is homeschooling.

 

I get the necessary housework done, but Susie Homemaker is not my identity. I would have loved that life, but I can embroider pillowcases and cook gourmet meals when my kids are grown. As it is, I snatch a few minutes on the weekends for housewifely creativity, and I do my necessary cooking and baking before and after our school day.

 

If I'm going to be involved in my kids' education (as all parents must be, these days) then I'd rather follow my own agenda than the local school's agenda. If I'm going to spend three hours per night on homework with my child, I want to believe the lessons are beneficial and I want to understand the objectives. Presiding over several hours' homework in Everyday Math would have me tearing out my hair. Homeschool math makes sense to children and to parents.

 

I'd like to attend ladies' Bible studies and teach Sunday school, but I can do neither in this stage of my life. I listen to podcasts and participate in Bible studies online when I get a chance, but I try to remember that this time of my life is a phase. It's a quarter century long in my case, which is a long phase, but still, I went to ladies' Bible study and taught Sunday school for a dozen years before homeschooling my own children, and if I live the normal life span I will have 20 or 30 years left to work in the church after my last child graduates from my homeschool. My family is my ministry. I also have causes and people that I feel responsible for as a Christian, but modern-era formal church work is not possible for me right now.

 

Shopping...not even on the radar. Food, clothing, and shelter for my family are taking all the resources we have, and we're going for plain, solid stuff in all three categories. Nobody here is stylish; nobody here is going for fittings at the mall boutiques. There is a recession on for most of us.

 

If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.

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Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

 

I think of it as a career as well. My husband and I both work part time and home school part time. That makes 2 full time jobs and a lot of career satisfaction.

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Regarding the housekeeping comments upthread:

 

I do have hired cleaning help because I needed it. I started homeschooling with a 6, 3 and 1 year old and my husband travels a lot. I think even if I weren't homeschooling I'd still have cleaning help 2x a month just because it is nice to have things cleaned that I don't get to very often (ceiling fan blades, blinds and baseboards all spring to mind). My house isn't a hovel and I DO clean and pick up and tidy daily. I just like knowing that if for some reason the vacuuming doesn't get done one week that it isn't the end of the world!

 

I do actually blow my hair dry and put on a bit of make up every day because I feel better about myself. BUT, I have a shorter hairstyle on purpose - I don't have 30 minutes a day to blow out and flat iron my hair so I found a style I like that takes 5 minutes.

 

It is all back to trade offs again. I have been to lots of homes of homeschooling families and I can't remember any that looked like a hovel. A little cluttered here and there, yes. But pretty much every home with small children has clutter here and there - I don't think that is a homeschooling issue, it is small children creating a path of destruction wherever they go problem. I have friends who are professionals and they don't always look very fashionable to me. I have friends who stay at home and always look trendy. I think you are going to see a lot of different kinds of moms no matter if they homeschool or not. Some moms really like yoga pants even if they aren't homeschooling their kids!

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Balancing act - every life is a balancing act. I do think if the OP's picture of perfection means mom runs a perfect ship while the kids are off at school, providing treats and surprises and a beautiful house, magically filled drawers - that ideal would be more easily attainable with kids in school. But my question remains... Is that really ideal? If it is for the OP (and it appears to be so), homeschooling may not be the best way to achieve it.

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" In real life before all day institutionalization of children became the norm, mothers did not expect "me time" every day or every week. Me time is a rare event. Family time is the vast majority of a homeschooling mother's life. Homeschooling is for people who want to be around their children most of the time."

 

When and where did women spend most of their time in "family life" with their children? My understanding (and this is necessarily broad strokes) is that children were/are largely ignored until they could work, and then worked with or without their parents nearby. High intensity full-time child-rearing is modern and was not the status quo ante.

 

What you call "ignored", I would call child-directed playtime, instead of the parent-directed scheduled play that is common today.

 

I don't think that was a bad thing, that the kids played nearby while Mom was washing clothes, or churning butter, or whatever. I think those kids had a better imagination, and that is something I recreated here (though I didn't have to churn butter!;))

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Oh Denise. You must not be working hard enough :toetap05:

 

Seriously . Come ON you women. I mean I have time to make everything from scratch, educate my kids, transport them to and fro 4 times a week, all while maintaining a size 2 and giving BJ's after hourse. PUUUU LEEAZE. You freaking whiners. Pfffft.

HAHA HA! I bow to your superiority.
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If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.
I wuvs you! :001_wub: Let me know when you want to run for president.
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Ladies,

I think everyone is missing the point of the original question.

The OP doesn't have the motivation to homeschool. She has a favorable opinion of public school.

 

If that is the case, she should send one of her children there to experience the joy. Perhaps after that she will arrive at the necessary state of mind for homeschooling.

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I had never intended to homeschool, either. My sister was doing it, and she convinced me that I could do a better job than the PS system. I gave up a job, the gym (for a short while), and my extracurriculars. I got my kids little bags to carry their "schoolwork" in and took them to appointments, where they could work on their workbooks and I could get small lessons done while waiting. We listen to books in the car and talk about them at dinner. We stop the story to explain vocabulary. Housework got done on the weekends, laundry during the day, between lessons. I would get one child working then work with the other. Got the girls to start helping with their toys, dusting and other little things (it really does lighten the load).

 

Today, once I have both girls working on math or grammar, I have a block of about 45 minutes to do bathroom cleaning or floors. They help more, of course with the housework. They are interested in cooking. I go to the gym at 5:30 am, before dh goes to work. We flop in bed at 9:30 pm.

 

You can do this. You will not be your mom (but maybe you'll be closer to your kids).

 

Good luck deciding.

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Really? How do you do that? why am I such a miserable failure? I only have time to clean my home a couple of times per year, shower once per week, shave annually, and change my pj outfits monthly. I no longer care about running to Walmart in pj's and snow boots, regardless of the season, to get our supply of Poptarts and hot dogs for meals. I just don't have time to care what anyone else thinks.

 

Date nights are absolutely out, and HOW do you find time for a haircut? I just give myself a buzz cut every month or so. It helps keep lice away, too.

 

I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

:lol::lol:

Oh Denise. You must not be working hard enough

 

Seriously . Come ON you women. I mean I have time to make everything from scratch, educate my kids, transport them to and fro 4 times a week, all while maintaining a size 2 and giving BJ's after hourse. PUUUU LEEAZE. You freaking whiners. Pfffft.

:smilielol5::smilielol5:

I can always count on you ladies for a good laugh when I check in here every once in a while. Hahahaha!

 

Now take both of these extreme scenarios and think somewhere in the middle, depending on the day, the month, the week, whatever..and you will find most of us super homeschooling moms doing what we do well. We juggle, we fluctuate; it’s not always pretty but we are making progress. ;) Sometimes- it’s beautiful, other times.... not so much; but it’s always worth it (to us)! :tongue_smilie:

 

It is OK, Denise. We are obviously all hiding out from CPS and the health department. Oh, and Clinton and Stacey from What Not to Wear. Maybe when the kids all graduate, we can leave our homes again in real clothes instead of pajama pants.

 

Racking my brain, trying to figure out what's wrong with Yoga Pants?!?

:D

 

What you call "ignored", I would call child-directed playtime, instead of the parent-directed scheduled play that is common today.

 

I don't think that was a bad thing, that the kids played nearby while Mom was washing clothes, or churning butter, or whatever. I think those kids had a better imagination, and that is something I recreated here (though I didn't have to churn butter!)

:iagree:

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Denise & LisaMarie - thank you for the laugh today. I needed it!

 

There was a thread on here not long ago about how the average mother doesn't feel she's back to normal until her youngest is four.

 

Rosie

 

:hurray: Only one more year!!

 

OP: I agree that the person you are now is the one you will be if you homeschool. I am not a great housekeeper (working on it) and not a fashion queen (jeans & t-shirts any day!) - but those things were true before kids (and homeschooling) - it's just me. Perhaps if you don't like the public school you can find a nice private school? I don't think anyone here can answer the question for you - it's a personal decision. Why not just decide for THIS year what you want to do? You will be completely free to change your mind, and you'll have more information at that point.

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Hi,

 

Welcome! I am new to homeschooling so keep that in mind when you read this. Many of the other here have been doing it much longer and have great advice.

 

I have three precious boys 5 and under so far. We started kindergarten this year and are loving it. In addition to that, I also have health problems. Our family lives in the country on a little farm so that takes some work too!

 

I could definitely hear your concerns in your original post and also your statement about homeschooling and not being able to take care of your home, husband, and children well. I just wanted to encourage you! I don't know if any of this will help but I thought I would put it out in case it might. These are things that helped me to decide.

 

1. First of all, I am a Christian and so the first thing I had to ask myself is what does the Bible says about education? What am I to be doing in terms of teaching my children? Will public school help accomplish those mandates from Scripture? What will be most honoring and glorifying to God? Also, taken into account is what the Bible says on homemaking and loving your husband. What does my husband want? How can I best honor and submit to my husband?

 

2. Secondly, I think most people mentioned this but you have to be willing to give up yourself. Am I willing to sacrifice myself for my children? Am I willing to work hard? Homeschooling is a precious blessing because I get to spend so much time with my children. But, it is work! There are lessons to prepare as well as all of the beautiful work of making a home. But, the blessings far out weigh the effort and work put in. But I do think that you have to count the cost. I had to be a lot more organized and diligent not only in my homeschool but also in my housework. I don't have time to do things I did before. But, I still go to appointments, shopping, etc. just with my children.

 

3. Also, I think you have to take stock of the consequences of not homeschooling. For me, I not only wanted my children to have a good education but also to have values and a full understanding of the Bible. Do you have great schools around you? How educated are the graduates of the schools around you? If you are a Christian, do they honor the Lord and desire to follow the Bible? Can you afford private schools long term? Before I was a homemaker, I worked with "gifted" students in high school to prepare them for college. Some of them could hardly read or spell not to mention trying to write a paper or something! I was totally blown away with the lack of education in public school. (I am not trying to pick on public school but where we lived it was horrendous.) Needless to say, a consequence for me to not homeschool would be to have many hours after schooling to ensure that my children would be educated.

 

4. You mentioned that you were disappointed with some of the other replies that confirmed that we are unable to take great care of our husbands, homes, and children. I think everyone here is trying to be realistic graciously. As a Christian, I am responsible before the Lord for loving my husband, the care of my home, and teaching of my children. He is the one who gives me strength to complete my tasks even with health problems. It is true that I don't have as much time, but with what time I try to use it wonderfully well for His glory. So, my home is clean and neat (NOT spotless). It is a haven of rest and beauty for my family. But, also a comfortable place where they can have fun too, spreading out their toys or building forts. My boys are leaning the incredibly valuable lesson of work as they help with chores and keeping things clean. They will use these lessons as men. Clean laundry is always available (although we are working on putting things away!) and our meals are mostly all made from scratch. I seek to be a lady in my appearance- looking nice, pretty, and clean. But, I don't have to spend hours shopping to do this or have the latest fashions. Neither am I an out of date frump- dirty and disheveled. The Lord Jesus Christ is the one who daily gives me grace and strength to work hard each day for my precious family. And I am even able to have some time for myself. I love to sew and make wonderful things for my home and family. So, I have a quiet hour each day where my kids sleep or read books in their beds so I can take a nap, sew, or read.

 

5. Finally, a great benefit to homeschooling deserves being mentioned again. One of the previous posters talked about a lifestyle of learning. We have been discovering this in our house and it is so refreshing and wonderful. No matter what curriculum you choose, homeschooling gives you the freedom to take rabbit trails and to develop a family culture. As a family, you discover why plants are green or why gravity works. Those precious discoveries made together create such a wonderful closeness and bond your family together. It creates this lovely wonder about everything in the world and an intense desire to learn more. The amount of students and the strict schedule of public school does not allow for this and boy, it is a shame. Even more, I have discovered that I am now getting the education I never had in teaching my children. I am learning more now than I even learned in school. Finally, it is so fun to struggle to help your child with something they are learning and then to see the lightbulb go on. Realizing that you helped your child learn something is so great.

 

Well, I have definitely written a book here. Please take everything written here with a grain of salt too as it is written by a newbie. If you will excuse me now, I have to go and make some liquid propelled rockets.:D

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To the OP: Glad you were able to wade through all of our replies. We can be a sarcastic lot. We can be harsh and blunt. But we can also be a warm and welcoming group. Just depends on the day & which ones of us answer.

 

I was disappointed that so many of the posts confirmed a fear (or perhaps stereotype) of homeschool mothers being unable to take great care of their homes, health, and appearance.

 

You don't have to throw out all your standards, though!

 

If you are well kept before HS, you will continue to do so.

 

My appearance was never a top priority with me. It continues to hit near the bottom of the list, much to my own mother's dismay. :boxing_smiley: (I didn't wear makeup daily even when I worked full time pre-kids. I've never spent more than 10 minutes on fixing my hair unless I was heading someplace fancy.)

 

I know quite a few HSing moms who have well-kept houses who also take time to make sure they look stylish and gorgeous. They were like that before they got married, after they had kids (with some bad days mixed in when the kids were little or sick), and before they homeschooled. Somehow, they keep it up.

 

I know other HSing moms whose houses were absolutely trashed when their kids were in PS or when their kids were little. The houses haven't improved. It is a personality thing.

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Ladies,

I think everyone is missing the point of the original question.

The OP doesn't have the motivation to homeschool. She has a favorable opinion of public school.

 

If that is the case, she should send one of her children there to experience the joy. Perhaps after that she will arrive at the necessary state of mind for homeschooling.

 

:iagree: Excellent point.

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I have been on both sides of the fence... I have homeschooled all the kiddo's and have had them all in public school with the babies at a 2 day a week parent day program. I HONESTLY thought I would have those warm cookies waiting, and I thought the grass was greener on the other side. However, it is not like that. You get busy taking care of things for the kiddo's in school.. fundraiser's, parties, ect.. and somehow those fresh baked cookies go by the wayside.

 

My older 3 are in public high school and will remain there. My oldest son told me to PLEASE take my younger kiddo's out of school and homeschool them. He said he has so many wonderful memories of reading together, making fresh bread, or getting pizza, and reading then watching all of the Little House on the Prarie and Lost episodes:lol: He also said he can notice a difference in his character compared to others. My 16yo daughter told me the same thing.

 

You WILL make the BEST memories at home. It will just look different!!

 

I am blessed to have a WONDERFUL program in my area where my younger kiddo's go to a drop off program one day a week from 9-230, so I do have one day to myself. Maybe you can start a homeschool program like that in your area. If I did not have this program then I would utilize teenagers to watch my kiddo's one day a week for a few hours. It will all work out.

 

You have to remind yourself why you are homeschooling. It is a huge sacrifice by well worth it. I CRIED and CRIED when my 17yo son told me how blessed and thankful he was for homeschooling all of elementary and jr high...

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Oh Denise. You must not be working hard enough :toetap05:

 

Seriously . Come ON you women. I mean I have time to make everything from scratch, educate my kids, transport them to and fro 4 times a week, all while maintaining a size 2 and giving BJ's after hourse. PUUUU LEEAZE. You freaking whiners. Pfffft.

 

Dying. Absolutely DYING! :lol::lol::lol:

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Denise! :lol: I think your posts made my day!

 

In all reality, we just work things out. Sometimes I take the kids along to errands, appointments, etc. Sometimes I schedule them for when my husband is off so I can go alone. Sometimes I'll get my mom or someone to watch the kids for me while I go.

 

I have "me" time. For one thing I tend to wake up earlier than my kids and get to sit with my coffee, computer, and so on. When the kids are in bed, I have a bit more time. I plan some "mom's night out" events for my homeschool group, get a sitter (or husband) to watch the kids, and get to go have dinner and drinks with some friends. Sometimes my husband and I get a sitter and go out together without the kids. Sometimes we go to another homeschooling family's/friend's house with the kids, and our kids all go play together and the adults can hang out and socialize. During the normal course of a typical day if I need some down time, the kids are more than happy to play and amuse themselves or each other for a bit so I can go take a break and do my own thing for a bit.

 

I won't profess to being the world's neatest housekeeper. That doesn't mean my house is gross, though. We keep up with what needs to be kept up with as well as we can, usually doing some basic chores before schoolwork. The kids all pitch in with what needs to be done and I'm not afraid to ask my husband, "Can you do this for me?" if I need his help with something. I mean I usually do the basics (with the kid's help) but if we're having a "thorough cleaning day" rather than just maintenance I might ask him if he can do this, that, or the other thing, and he does it. If things ever seem like they're just getting too messy or cluttered, which happens periodically, everything grinds to a halt, I call everyone over and assign jobs, we get it done, and when I'm happy with the way things look and the way I feel about it, we move on to whatever else needs to be done.

 

You just learn to juggle, prioritize, and go with the flow, if homeschooling is worth it to you. And it is to me. Can it be a bit harder when the kids are very young? Sure. But they don't stay very young forever (another reason to not miss out on it). I like giving them the opportunity to have more of a childhood. I like getting to experience more of their childhood. I like spending time with them, doing fun outings and projects with them, reading lots of books with them, being in charge of our time and having the freedom to do the things we want. When my daughter was in school (which she was until toward the end of 3rd grade in March of 2009) it always felt like my time wasn't my own and my whole schedule had to revolve around the school- bus schedules, homework, "it's a school night," stuff the school wanted, having to get "permission" for outings and vacations on school days, and so on and so forth.

 

If you want to spend more time with your kids, take charge of their education, have more of that type of freedom and so on, you'll make it happen. If you don't, you won't. If you do will your priorities have to shift a bit, particularly while the kids are young? Sure. That's why they're called priorities.

 

P.S. Kindergarten really is not that time consuming. And how did you get all your errands and appointments taken care of before your child became school age? You just do it the same way after they become school age. You manage. And you ask yourself, "When I'm old, and my kids are grown, and I'm looking back, am I going to wish they'd been out of my hair more so the house could be cleaner and the errands could be more convenient and I could have more time to myself, or am I going to wish I'd had more time with them, done more things with them, worried less about superficial stuff and more about just being and bonding with my kids before I blinked and they were older, grown, gone?" I know MY answer to that, and I make my choices largely based on that.

 

totally agree. The messy house that comes with a young one is worth it to me. He will be grown in just a few short years, and then my home will be perfect again. My son is such a happy kid I can't imagine our life being different. I spent the day with dh alone the other day and I told him that I don't think I could bear DS being away from me all day every day.

 

I know my friends spend at least an hour or more each day with their kids on homework. I saw a thread on the after schooling board that said they use school as a daycare, while they really teach them at home.

 

 

 

It all depends on what you want to do. What is important to you.

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There are many of us who bathe and dress in a reasonably stylish way daily (sometimes even with jewelry :tongue_smilie:), get regular haircuts (and other self-care as required), keep clean homes, feed our family wholesome home cooked meals 3x a day, have regular date nights and nightly time alone with our spouses, stake out a bit of time for ourselves, and still manage to educate the children. It is possible. It gets much easier as kids get older. (I had three in a little more than 3 years and have an Army DH who is gone a great deal, so yes, there were some less than picture-perfect moments...to say the least. :lol:)

 

However, I am sorry to say that very often when posters mention that this is indeed possible, they are almost immediately contradicted by countless other posters who protest that this is, in fact, a rare and virtually impossible standard. It is not. It is a matter of good habits and priorities, knowing when to fight the chaos and when to rest into it, knowing how to pick your battles, and purposefully allocating small parcels of time toward progress rather than getting mired down in the quicksand of wasted time.

 

 

I agree. My house is clean and I take the time to get myself ready each morning. It is important to me so I make time for it. My close friend homeschools and her husband is on his 6th deployment for a year and she is always fashionable and has a clean house, plus works as a nurse. So it can be done. It is another stereotype that not everyone fits into ;)

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I guess I should be embarrassed because everyone thinks I am being funny. This is my life!

 

I have an issue with taking care of myself and my house because homeschooling takes up so much time AND sucks me dry. I just seriously do NOT have time for non-essentials.

 

EXAMPLE: my cap to my front tooth fell out MONTHS ago. Who the heck has time for luxuxious, non essential appointments! After looking at my tooth sit on my dresser for so long that the cobwebs from it reached the highest point of my cathedral ceiling, I said, "ENOUGH!!!". I dusted off that tooth, grabbed the Gorilla Glue, glued it back in, and went about my day. Hours later I realized the tooth had been glued in backwards! At first I was horrified, but then I realized that even a backward tooth is better than no tooth at all, ESPECIALLY if it was right in front of the mouth!!!

 

Really, it's all about attitude.

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  • 3 weeks later...

My kids go with me everywhere. It's a little easier since they're 11 and 7, but they have gone everywhere with me for the last 4 years. They wait in the waiting room for a gyn. appointment, they wait in the hall while I'm getting my teeth cleaned, they wait with me in line. They also help A LOT. Children do not need their clothes to magically appear in their drawers, or their room to be cleaned while they're gone. Actually, you'll be doing them a favor by having them work. We can homeschool because we do everything as a family, including all the work. It is hard to NEVER have time to yourself, but you have to decide what is most important to you.

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