Overwhelmed by homeschooling drawbacks

[justamouse]

Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

 

:iagree: it's my work. I devote as much time to it as I would an outside job.

 

 

It's a paradigm shift.

 

It was SO hard the first year or two. Now I wouldn't have it any other way. My kids are also VERY good while waiting.

 

It gets much easier when the kids get older and can stay home while you run out.

 

Amy is right, too, I know for myself, I wouldn't be staying home if mine were in school. I'd be bored out of my mind.

[justamouse]

I'm with Maus; all the public-school SAHM's I know are killing themselves all day, just as much as we homeschoolers do.

 

Every single one that I know...

 

does something for extra income, whether cleaning houses, doing administrative work from home, tutoring, or child care...

volunteers at her kids' schools...

does the bulk of the volunteering at church...

might also be looking after elderly parents or grandparents...

homeschooling one of their children for whom ps is a disaster...

and basically afterschooling their ps kids to try to make up for the ps failure to teach basic math and English.

 

Nobody's watching the soaps and baking cookies anymore. Women are working, wherever they spend their day. Anybody baking cookies does that alongside their kids or while their kids sleep.

 

I prefer to spend my day doing what I believe to be best for my own family, and that is homeschooling.

 

I get the necessary housework done, but Susie Homemaker is not my identity. I would have loved that life, but I can embroider pillowcases and cook gourmet meals when my kids are grown. As it is, I snatch a few minutes on the weekends for housewifely creativity, and I do my necessary cooking and baking before and after our school day.

 

If I'm going to be involved in my kids' education (as all parents must be, these days) then I'd rather follow my own agenda than the local school's agenda. If I'm going to spend three hours per night on homework with my child, I want to believe the lessons are beneficial and I want to understand the objectives. Presiding over several hours' homework in Everyday Math would have me tearing out my hair. Homeschool math makes sense to children and to parents.

 

I'd like to attend ladies' Bible studies and teach Sunday school, but I can do neither in this stage of my life. I listen to podcasts and participate in Bible studies online when I get a chance, but I try to remember that this time of my life is a phase. It's a quarter century long in my case, which is a long phase, but still, I went to ladies' Bible study and taught Sunday school for a dozen years before homeschooling my own children, and if I live the normal life span I will have 20 or 30 years left to work in the church after my last child graduates from my homeschool. My family is my ministry. I also have causes and people that I feel responsible for as a Christian, but modern-era formal church work is not possible for me right now.

 

Shopping...not even on the radar. Food, clothing, and shelter for my family are taking all the resources we have, and we're going for plain, solid stuff in all three categories. Nobody here is stylish; nobody here is going for fittings at the mall boutiques. There is a recession on for most of us.

 

If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[TranquilMind]

Nobody's watching the soaps and baking cookies anymore. Women are working, wherever they spend their day. Anybody baking cookies does that alongside their kids or while their kids sleep.

 

I prefer to spend my day doing what I believe to be best for my own family, and that is homeschooling.

 

I get the necessary housework done, but Susie Homemaker is not my identity. I would have loved that life, but I can embroider pillowcases and cook gourmet meals when my kids are grown. As it is, I snatch a few minutes on the weekends for housewifely creativity, and I do my necessary cooking and baking before and after our school day.

 

If I'm going to be involved in my kids' education (as all parents must be, these days) then I'd rather follow my own agenda than the local school's agenda. If I'm going to spend three hours per night on homework with my child, I want to believe the lessons are beneficial and I want to understand the objectives. Presiding over several hours' homework in Everyday Math would have me tearing out my hair. Homeschool math makes sense to children and to parents.

 

I'd like to attend ladies' Bible studies and teach Sunday school, but I can do neither in this stage of my life. I listen to podcasts and participate in Bible studies online when I get a chance, but I try to remember that this time of my life is a phase. It's a quarter century long in my case, which is a long phase, but still, I went to ladies' Bible study and taught Sunday school for a dozen years before homeschooling my own children, and if I live the normal life span I will have 20 or 30 years left to work in the church after my last child graduates from my homeschool. My family is my ministry. I also have causes and people that I feel responsible for as a Christian, but modern-era formal church work is not possible for me right now.

 

Shopping...not even on the radar. Food, clothing, and shelter for my family are taking all the resources we have, and we're going for plain, solid stuff in all three categories. Nobody here is stylish; nobody here is going for fittings at the mall boutiques. There is a recession on for most of us.

 

If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.

 

Excellent post, Tibbie. So true.

[crazyforlatin]

I never shop at a mall, unless I need something immediately and cannot wait for shipping. Everything is done online and, if something has to be returned, then I choose places that have free shipping returns. In fact, if I had all the free time in the world, I would still avoid the mall.

 

I cut my own hair and Dd's hair. We have very simple hairstyles.

 

DD has a Kindle and takes it everywhere. So I do in fact take her along on almost all errands, and when I need her to stay still, I hand over the Kindle.

 

There is no pure SAHM in our area. It's difficult to afford that kind of lifestyle in a city.

[HomeschoolingHearts&Minds]

I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

I think it's a whole lot healthier for my kids to see that laundry doesn't magically get done and mom doesn't really spend all her time gadding about town and doing fun stuff. They know the work that goes into taking care of a household and taking care of them. ;)

 

My mom was a SAHM, our home was immaculate, and the laundry was always done. But the one thing I didn't have, and wanted, was to spend time with her. She was never available for me. My kids always know I'm here for them, because I am.

 

The other stuff---we all have to prioritize. You can't do everything. But, you can come up with a lot of creative solutions to get done what you need to get done. It may not look like your mother's household, but you can make it work.

[kiwik]

I have two young kids and am single. When my eldest is at school I am at work. It is hard to get stuff done but I manage mostly. That said if you can afford it a day a week of afterschool care would give you all a break.

[MinivanMom]

Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

 

:iagree:

 

It is a huge paradigm shift, but it is completely worth it. I have the rest of my life for "me time", lunches with the girls, and pursuing hobbies. I only have a few short years with my children.

 

I'm with Maus; all the public-school SAHM's I know are killing themselves all day, just as much as we homeschoolers do.

 

Every single one that I know...

 

does something for extra income, whether cleaning houses, doing administrative work from home, tutoring, or child care...

volunteers at her kids' schools...

does the bulk of the volunteering at church...

might also be looking after elderly parents or grandparents...

homeschooling one of their children for whom ps is a disaster...

and basically afterschooling their ps kids to try to make up for the ps failure to teach basic math and English.

 

Nobody's watching the soaps and baking cookies anymore. Women are working, wherever they spend their day. Anybody baking cookies does that alongside their kids or while their kids sleep.

 

snip

 

If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.

 

I'm gonna disagree with this. I think it really depends on where you live and your social circle. I live in a relatively affluent area and we have lots of stay-at-home-moms here. In fact, we have lots of SAHM's with all of their kids in school and a surprising number of SAHM's who are empty-nest (which I guess makes them homemakers rather than SAHM's ;)). The phenomenon is even stronger at our church. The only women who work are unmarried, childless, or have husbands out of work. These women take yoga together during the day, go out to lunch, attend scripture study, volunteer together at a variety of charities, etc, etc. I am definitely stepping out of the box to homeschool and, as a result, I'm often left out. It has been harder to make friends, because I'm not a part of the daytime social scene. I'm okay with that. My mother was a single, working mother, so I never expected to be some kind of a housewife with a swinging daytime social life. These women in my community, however, all had mothers who were like the OP's mom. They are living the lives that they saw their mothers live and have a hard time envisioning anything else.

 

I have a friend who used to homeschool her boys when they were in elementary school (they are in high school now). She was telling me recently that homeschooling was just too hard for her, because she had to go grocery shopping in the evening. She was completely serious. The truth, though, is that it was probably much more than grocery shopping. In our community, you aren't a part of things if you aren't available during the day. It's easy to discount that, but it's hard to not have other moms for friendship and support. I did have to take that into consideration when I chose to homeschool. I'm happy with my choice, but I don't blame anyone in my community for making a different choice.

[kb44]

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

 

I take one or two days a year to get these appointments done for myself, while the kids stay with a friend or DH stays home for the day.

 

 

Get a haircut

 

My kids used to sit while we each took our turn, but our awesome hairdresser now comes to our house! I <3 her!

 

Clothing shop for myself

 

Either on the weekends, with them, or buy and return, as needed.

 

 

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

 

Take them with me. They each have a bag of things they bring to keep them busy...leapster, coloring, ipod, snack, work

 

 

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

Weekends...you just can't do those things unless they have childcare.

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Everything is possible. :001_smile:

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

I have a cleaning schedule, but honestly I have begun to live by this quote: Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 :lol:

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

Those times, for the most part are so gone! Even the SAHM who PS their kids are busy, busy, busy, and go back to some kind of work once all the kids are in school.

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

While it might be easier to get all those things done sans kids, I actually enjoy the outings with them. They are learning day to day life, chores, activities while we do/talk about them. I get to spend my day cooking WITH them, not just handing them a cookie as they walk in the door. My nights are not rushed and exhausting with homework, like they were when my kids attended PS. We have no rush to get to bed, as we can get up whenever we want. We can learn what/how we want, and are not tied to a specific schedule. I would rec making friends with some fellow homeschool moms to trade off childcare, if you feel overwhelmed with taking them all the time. Good luck!

[Mom2OandE]

I was similar to your mother when my kids we in ps. 3 months into homeschooling and I can say that 90% of that is out the window! HOWEVER, I am closer to my kids than ever and I love it!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

:iagree:

 

It is a huge paradigm shift, but it is completely worth it. I have the rest of my life for "me time", lunches with the girls, and pursuing hobbies. I only have a few short years with my children.

 

 

 

I'm gonna disagree with this. I think it really depends on where you live and your social circle. I live in a relatively affluent area and we have lots of stay-at-home-moms here. In fact, we have lots of SAHM's with all of their kids in school and a surprising number of SAHM's who are empty-nest (which I guess makes them homemakers rather than SAHM's ;)). The phenomenon is even stronger at our church. The only women who work are unmarried, childless, or have husbands out of work. These women take yoga together during the day, go out to lunch, attend scripture study, volunteer together at a variety of charities, etc, etc. I am definitely stepping out of the box to homeschool and, as a result, I'm often left out. It has been harder to make friends, because I'm not a part of the daytime social scene. I'm okay with that. My mother was a single, working mother, so I never expected to be some kind of a housewife with a swinging daytime social life. These women in my community, however, all had mothers who were like the OP's mom. They are living the lives that they saw their mothers live and have a hard time envisioning anything else.

 

I have a friend who used to homeschool her boys when they were in elementary school (they are in high school now). She was telling me recently that homeschooling was just too hard for her, because she had to go grocery shopping in the evening. She was completely serious. The truth, though, is that it was probably much more than grocery shopping. In our community, you aren't a part of things if you aren't available during the day. It's easy to discount that, but it's hard to not have other moms for friendship and support. I did have to take that into consideration when I chose to homeschool. I'm happy with my choice, but I don't blame anyone in my community for making a different choice.

 

I talked with DH about this thread. He said my perspective might only be true in areas of the country (like ours) that have been very hard hit economically. He guessed there were probably other pockets where SAHMs still have the money to hire what they want done and can pursue their own interests and amusements while their kids are at school. That does make sense. I admit to being a little tunnel-visioned lately about the money issue.

[timetoteach]

" The truth, though, is that it was probably much more than grocery shopping. In our community, you aren't a part of things if you aren't available during the day. It's easy to discount that, but it's hard to not have other moms for friendship and support. I did have to take that into consideration when I chose to homeschool.":iagree:

[MinivanMom]

I talked with DH about this thread. He said my perspective might only be true in areas of the country (like ours) that have been very hard hit economically. He guessed there were probably other pockets where SAHMs still have the money to hire what they want done and can pursue their own interests and amusements while their kids are at school. That does make sense. I admit to being a little tunnel-visioned lately about the money issue.

 

Our area has hardly been touched at all, except that we have had lots of transplants relocating here after losing jobs in other parts of the country. I love them (the transplants). I was just telling my husband the other night that I need to move to Ohio to really have mom-friends, because everytime I meet a woman that I click with, who is normal and down-to-earth and loves her kids . . . she turns out to be a recent transplant from Ohio.

[CatholicMom]

For some of us, it is as hard to get everything done while homeschooling as it is to just plain not parent the way our parents did. I suspect you're one of those. So am I. :) It's hard to think of some of your best memories as a child and realize you can't replicate those because your life with your children is a lot different. You made different choices and you made them on purpose because you think it's best for your family. And you're probably right. But it's hard to not be able to follow what we think are our parents' good examples. We are in unknown territory... not sure what being a good "homeschool mom" should look like on a personal level. I hate that. But our kids will have their good memories and though their childhoods will be much different than ours, those memories will still be vivid and important to them as adults.

 

As far as getting things done, I think some of the biggest things you will have to get used to is involving your kids in just about everything. Taking them to the doctor with you might have to become normal, taking them grocery shopping if you have to (I take 5 grocery shopping and have a system down!), re-arranging some of your "me time" around when the kids are sleeping or being watched by dh, and instead of sewing a surprise while they are at public school, develop your own traditions that are more doable like baking cookies *together* or a bed-time routine, or reading a story during lunch, or who knows what. And if some hobby is really important to who you are, you will have to be more intentional about making time to do it. Put on a movie now and then or tell the kids they have to play in their room until a certain time (set an alarm if they can't tell time) and tell them it's mommy time and you can do your hobby during that time. Having your kids home all the time means you have to live your life more intentionally to get done what you need to do. Totally possible, but it takes some practice.

 

Also, the good news is, like some people said, is Kindergarten doesn't have to take very long. My daughter does 1 math sheet front and back, a few phonics pages, reads me one Bob book, does one handwriting sheet, and she is done in an hour or so. If I counted lunch-time, recess, and "homeroom," that would add a couple hours right there, and we'd be at 3 public school hours. :tongue_smilie: So remember that homeschooling takes less time because we only count the hours where we are *doing* school work. Add some of the fun stuff like art, leapfrog videos, and "PE" (a game of Simon Says, "How many jumping jacks can you do?"), and there's another hour or more.

 

I have said it takes just about as long to get used to being a homeschool mom as it does to get used to being a wife. It's a big transition and can take a long time before you feel at home. It just takes time and practice.

 

:grouphug:

[DianeW88]

I talked with DH about this thread. He said my perspective might only be true in areas of the country (like ours) that have been very hard hit economically. He guessed there were probably other pockets where SAHMs still have the money to hire what they want done and can pursue their own interests and amusements while their kids are at school. That does make sense. I admit to being a little tunnel-visioned lately about the money issue.

 

At least 50% of the women in my neighborhood are SAH moms, and they don't homeschool. It's quite typical within my church/state culture. We also have not been hit nearly as hard here as the rest of the country by the economic downturn.

[OrdinaryTime]

:

I'm gonna disagree with this. I think it really depends on where you live and your social circle. I live in a relatively affluent area and we have lots of stay-at-home-moms here. In fact, we have lots of SAHM's with all of their kids in school and a surprising number of SAHM's who are empty-nest (which I guess makes them homemakers rather than SAHM's ;)). The phenomenon is even stronger at our church. The only women who work are unmarried, childless, or have husbands out of work. These women take yoga together during the day, go out to lunch, attend scripture study, volunteer together at a variety of charities, etc, etc.

 

:iagree: It is the same in my neck of the woods. Most of my friends in the neighborhood are full-time SAHMs with all of their children in private school. They work out together daily, volunteer at school together, go to church-related stuff, etc. It can be hard to choose otherwise when everyone around you has a solid four hours a day to get some stuff done without little "helpers" everywhere!

 

But like all the others have said, you CAN make it work with the littles around. Most things are just a bit slower and less perfect. And usually much more amusing.:tongue_smilie:

 

(I must add: One errand that did not work well to take all four kids seven and under to was traffic court. I tried to make it into an educational field trip, but the bailiff wouldn't let the kids sit in court with me. We had to wait outside. Then when it was my turn, the judge wouldn't even let us come in and plead our case. She just ordered me to pay the fine without even getting to step foot in the courtroom. :glare:)

[redsquirrel]

I deal with like any other mother with a full time career outside the home. Sometimes it is difficult to manage everything. Sometimes the house is a mess. Sometimes my DH has to take half a day off from work so that I can go to the dentist. We manage.

 

 

But, if a clean house and that sort of orderliness is of primary important to you, and if it is then good you know now, then maybe homeschooling and/or working outside the home aren't for you.

[6wishes]

I agree with a lot of other things that have been said here. I will add that my husband has allowed us to have a house cleaner come in once a month and do a more in depth cleaning job (not a deep clean, but more what I call actual cleaning vs. picking up). I have 4 kids home, and I feel like this is a small price compared to what we'd be paying to either send our kids to private school, or even public school with all their activity fees, lunches, etc. The cleaners are really cheap, and my time is valuable too. However, I still have my kids do cleaning, so they are also learning how to clean and keep house. My husband likes a clean house, and I have no problem keeping things picked up, it's just hard to find the time/effort for actual real cleaning. Also, I have homeschool friends that will barter babysitting time for services. One teaches a teenager art class, and the teen in turn offers babysitting. Or, if you can afford a sitter without doing this,you could find a local teen homeschooler for an afternoon I'm sure and schedule your appointments in-andof course many other moms are usually willing to trade times for babysitting too.

[briansmama]

Homeschooling two boys definitely keeps me from shopping too much! One thing I really do miss is working out in the mornings at the gym. My dc have never been to school but they can't go to the gym child care anymore during the day now that my oldest is over age 7.

 

But, as for the other things, it's all about priorities for me. I look at taking on my dc education as my job, and I absolutely love it. I prefer to be with my dc over most social events during the weekdays, and I actually don't mind online shopping either.

 

One thing we do have is a bi-weekly cleaning service. I look at it as a homeschooling expense. It's our sanity, so no deep cleaning needs to happen on the weekends. We all pull together during the week to pick up throughout the day and we always do dishes after each meal and leave a clean kitchen. I actually think this is valuable for children- to learn how to operate a household and participate in it's care. I wash and fold a load of laundry pretty much each day. My dc put their clothes away each day. It takes maybe 10 min total of actual work on my part for each load. I throw it in after breakfast, dry before lunch, and fold after quiet time.

 

As for personal appointments, I go to hair appts on Sat when the kids can be with Dh but I only really need to go every 2 months or so. I go to yoga in the evenings twice a week and Sat mornings. I take the dc to the weekly market trip so they can learn how to meal plan, budget, weigh produce, choose apples, etc. I think it's great for them to be part of the world rather than sitting in an institutionalized environment all day long.

 

As for the DMV and doctors, those are tough- I am fortunate that my Dh can work from home if he needs, but I try not to need him too very much. Maybe twice a year I'll need him. I had to have dental work done that took several appts this year and that was a bummer. But really, now that the boys are 5 and 9, it's so much easier to bring them to a play date with homeschooling friends.

 

Time really flies after a child is over 5...I'm realizing how my time with my dc is so precious, though it doesn't always feel that way!

[Targhee]

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

Your point is very valid, at least in my experience. It is also something you can manage, though it takes extra effort. I have four children, three with ADHD/ADD (going on on shopping trips or to other crowded places - lots of distracting things - or places where sitting still is expected is very difficult for them), and the other is a toddler. Last year when DH was deployed, and we had only been in our new assignment for a couple of months, I felt very isolated and crippled because of having my children with me at all times. I finally found a teenage girl from church to come and babysit for me every Friday afternoon for 2-3 hours (I did pay her). This is the time frame I tried to schedule all my major shopping, dr appointments, hair cuts, etc. I usually still had the baby with me, but that was manageable.

 

DH is back, but works an every random schedule - we know three months in advanced what it is, but he's in the ER so he works a night here, an evening there, a sat or sun most weeks, but never the same from day to day or week to week. This too pos a problem for me to schedule time to get away. So, we still have the babysitter come on Fridays.

 

I could have had a maid service come once every two weeks or so for the same cost, but I want my kids to learn that we take care of our things. Once that is established, and they no longer think the baby sitter is a big fun playmate, we will probably get a maid service.

 

Another thing I did was started to volunteer to watch other people's kids. They in turn offer to watch my kids. It works out nice. It is harder for my oldest to go over mid-day to someone else's house where only preschoolers are home, but she's just about to the point where she can stay home alone for an hour or two if needed.

 

Good luck in your decision making. I love having a DH to counsel with in things like this. It really helps me not feel like I am the sole human being in the universe determining the fate of my children.

[Mommy22alyns]

They even come with for eyebrow waxing.

 

:iagree: Yup, BTDT.

[Snow]

I am new to homeschooling and fairly new to being a stay at home mom. I have always worked, so your questions are a little strange for me. These questions are not specific to homeschooling, they are just the challenges of having kids, whether you are at home or you work outside the home.

 

Getting my hair cut or clothes shopping when I worked? Well, it's not like I could just swing in after work, because that would mean kiddo was in daycare even longer.

 

Anytime you want to do something alone with young children, a sacrifice is going to be made somewhere...either your kids will have to go there with you and be bored and/or wait, or your spouse will watch them or you will just wait to do it until they are older and handle being without you for longer periods.

 

Homeschooling for me has been awesome and very difficult. I question whether he is learning anything at all and I'm stressed and I have not nearly enough time for myself. But that's all a part of having kids. :D

Edited November 13, 2012 by NaturalKate

[NotSoObvious]

I am new to homeschooling and fairly new to being a stay at home mom. I have always worked, so your questions are a little strange for me. These questions are not specific to homeschooling, they are just the challenges of having kids, whether you are at home or you work outside the home.

 

Getting my hair cut or clothes shopping when I worked? Well, it's not like I could just swing in after work, because that would mean kiddo was in daycare even longer.

 

anytime you want to do something alone with young children, a sacrifice is going to be made somewhere...either your kids will have to go there with you and be bored and/or wait, or your spouse will watch them or you will just wait to do it until they are older and handle being without you for longer periods.

 

Homeschooling for me has been awesome and very difficult. I question whether he is learning anything at all and I'm stressed and I have not nearly enough time for myself. But that's all a part of having kids.:D

 

:iagree: going from working mom to homeschooling mom means I actually have more time for things like appointments.

It's definitely a different lifestyle though. Sometimes I fantasize about sending them away for eight hours a day...I could get so much done. But then, I'd probably just want to go back to work! (I was a teacher)

[UmMusa]

I wonder if the OP found this helpful.

[black_midori]

Throw in "milk the cow, train the calf, work and take care of the horses, and do a part-time accounting job" - and my dh is generally out of town! Thank goodness we live with my in-laws and they are willing to help out extensively with child watching while I run errands and take care of the farm. I must admit to being generally exhausted and sometimes crabby, though, especially when I don't get enough sleep!! We are working on fine-tuning our schedule so that my kids help out with more of the farm chores. I am also trying hard to commit to far fewer "add-on" activities or volunteer work (I'm too easy to talk into it sometimes, so I'm learning to say NO!!").

 

Currently teaching grades 1, 2 & 3. :) I'm glad that the grade-levels are low, since it doesn't take as much time - but I'm looking forward to when more of the classes are independent!

[...................]

I went to private school and lived in a rural area. My mom stayed home until I was 9.

 

We would also come home to a magically clean house, play outdoors, and then have dinner as a family. My mom also had a huge garden which was her hobby, and visited with a Christian friend twice per week.

 

It was a good school and I'm thankful for it.

 

But that was that life, then.

 

My parents divorced and we moved. By 4th grade I heard about sex and kissed a boy. By 5th grade I learned more about sex, and entered into the mean spirited and depressing popularity contest. By 7th grade I had a boyfriend, in 8th I was drinking, and by 9th....it gets worse. All the while I was a straight A Honor Roll student.

 

There are ideals, and perhaps some people can have the ideal life all around. But for me, in my town, in my life, I won't have the ideal clean house,ahi ally filled drawers, and country lifestyle.

 

What I CAN give my kids is a great education, tons of love, good solid Biblical teaching, and work hard to involve them in our church community, get enough exercise, and love my husband so my marriage stats strong. And teach them

Day by day to lean on God when things are tough.

 

I can't have a perfectly clean house, and I can't say I'm on a perfect doctor checkup schedule. I don't get to go to the Mom's Bible Study at church, and yet somehow God helps me to keep my priorities straight. My children go to every doctor visit with me except the OBGYN. They are usually an amazing witness for Christ. Their joy and friendliness and politeness surprises people.

 

Hope this helps!

[LBoogie]

Just wanted to say that I have found this thread really encouraging in an odd way... (though I am not sure that the original poster will!)

 

I am a stay-at-home mom/ freelance artist (with a toddler at home) and will not start officially homeschooling my 7 year old until January, but these are things that I deal with anyway... whether or not I am homeschooling. I think it just comes with being a mom. It will be trickier, I am sure, to get a little me time and errands accomplished. But honestly, with our family's lifestyle, I don't know that our "paradigm shift" is going to be that huge.

 

ETA: Also, with me as the homemaker, our house would not be spotless anyway, nor would there be gourmet dinner or manicured nails, so I guess I might as well homeschool!! ha ha :)

Edited November 13, 2012 by LBoogie

[Snow]

Glad to know its been helpful for you lboogie. For me, the real paradigm shift has been in recognizing that there truly are many ways to learn. It doesn't have to be worksheets, linear, sitting in your chair learning. We really can learn just as much on a nature walk as we can reading a book or going to the doctor's office...it's all in the kinds of things I comment on or ask questions about to spark some discussion. And, that those things are just as valuable as traditional education really challenges my thinking but is so true. Good luck and have fun with it!

[Soror]

I agree with the thoughts and sentiments of others. We all have to make our priorities, no one can have it all. You have to decide what are the priorities for your own family. We find a way to make it work for us. My house is pretty darn clean, especially with 3 small kids. My kids are learning how to work together to make that happen though, which imo is a valuable life skill. I rearrange appts as needed and take them with me when I have to. I don't shop for recreation but I wouldn't anyway. I shop when dh can help or often online. I have friends I ask for help when I really have to and parents and in-laws I hit up at times. Generally I just try to minimize such things. I've gotten blood drawn with small kids and had other Dr's appts, not ideal but we managed. I agree as well that I'm sure that these things are challenges for working mothers as well. It's not always or often easy but the rewards are far worth some inconveniences for us. For us the reasons that being a SAHM w/out hs'ing are easier are exactly the reasons I don't wish to follow that path.

[gevs4him]

You take them with you and use everything as a learning experience. You pack a back pack with snacks, school work or fun things to do and they learn patience and real life lessons. And when they do well I always gave mine a bonus picnic lunch at the park and play time. Really before you know it your children are grown and you missed out on the special times.

[Abbeygurl4]

Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

 

:iagree: Exactly! But, it's not for everyone.

[...................]

I only need to go to the grocery store and occasional trips for clothing.

 

If your kids are little you can shop for clothing online too, at Craz8, Children's Place they have sales four times per year.

 

I Grocery shop Saturday mornings and my dh is happy to stay home with the kids!

[angelmama1209]

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but... My kids attend all appts. that don't require me to get naked. Any that do, I try to schedule on my mom's day off. They've come with me for a haircut and mani/pedi. they actually love coming to the nail salon and usually the nail techs will paint their nails, too. for free. they come shopping with me for the most part. I try to grocery shop on Sundays after church so I don't have to take them with me. I coupon and they make it extremely difficult. BUT, there have been times I haven't had a choice and we all survived. my house is not clean, but my kids are learning to help out and do their part. if we/they want special treats, they help cook/bake it. it is what it is. you do what you have to. I'm sorry to say you'll probably have to give up your June Cleaver childhood dream (which I never experienced, but sounds dreamy :)), but I wouldn't trade the time I have with my kids or the freedom homeschooling provides for any of that, though the vision is VERY tempting. :P Good luck in making your decision!

[HS Mom in NC]

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

Your questions are the perfect example of how institutionalized schooling, daycare and institutionalized church can create a parallel universe divorced from real life. In real life before all day institutionalization of children became the norm, mothers did not expect "me time" every day or every week. Me time is a rare event. Family time is the vast majority of a homeschooling mother's life. Homeschooling is for people who want to be around their children most of the time.

 

Bible study wasn't institutionalized at a church facility either. Bible study happens with the family all together in the living room with mom or dad leading the rest of the family. Attend a church with Bible study activities for the whole family at the same time. They can be family integrated or age segregated, co-ed or gender segregated, but they should on the same day at the same time. Women only studies in the middle of the week are only possible occassionally-not on a regular basis unless you have Granny near by to take the kids regularly.Your first ministry is to your family. When you're an empty nester you can do more "me centered" stuff. Learn to live seasonally-you can't do it all all at once.

 

Chores are done by everyone in the family throughout the day as needed. Children are taught to pick up after themselves all day long. Children are bring trained to do chores so by the time they're 6 they can do most chores by themselves. Read up on threads about kids chores here. You will see they are not being waited on hand and foot by Mommy-they're working along side mom. They're helping her cook and bake, not just showing up and eating. Chore rotation charts and a cleaning schedule are of use to some people. Develop one that suits your situation. Sometimes it just doesn't get done. No one will die of contamination. It won't make you a failure if your house is messy for a while sometimes. It's just not that important.

 

Children are brought along with mom to most appointments that are not of an intimate nature so they learn how to behave in public. They learn by doing. They learn to sit and play with quiet activities mom brought along. They learn to talk with the other adults (the hairdresser, the dentist, the optometrist, the DMV worker) or they can listen to mom read aloud a great piece of literature. They can play with a hand held game or listen to a recoding of music or a book. If you haven't done this with your children since infancy, it's going to be harder to get the hang of it at first, but you're a smart capable woman-you'll figure it out. Just begin with assumption in can be done. (Millions of us do it every day.)

 

Homeschooling is far and away more efficient, so with young ones you don't need hours and hours of school every day. When they're able to read and write independently they can school on the go when necessary. When they're older than that they can school themselves at home on occasion when you absolutely must be away for an hour or two.

 

It gets easier as they get older if they're being taught while they're younger.

[AnnaM]

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but... My kids attend all appts. that don't require me to get naked.

 

 

Off topic but I took my oldest (7 at the time) with me to my last GYN apt and she was FASCINATED :lol: Of course I didn't let her "see" what was going on but she stood by my head and my doctor explained in 7 year old terms what he was doing and why. We have always been open about this sort of thing and it opened up some good discussion about who is allowed to touch, when, and why. It also helped her to see that I wasn't afraid even though it wasn't particularly pleasant. Even my GYN appointment was a homeschooling moment LOL

[Mommy22alyns]

Your questions are the perfect example of how institutionalized schooling, daycare and institutionalized church can create a parallel universe divorced from real life. In real life before all day institutionalization of children became the norm, mothers did not expect "me time" every day or every week. Me time is a rare event. Family time is the vast majority of a homeschooling mother's life. Homeschooling is for people who want to be around their children most of the time.

 

Bible study wasn't institutionalized at a church facility either. Bible study happens with the family all together in the living room with mom or dad leading the rest of the family. Attend a church with Bible study activities for the whole family at the same time. They can be family integrated or age segregated, co-ed or gender segregated, but they should on the same day at the same time. Women only studies in the middle of the week are only possible occassionally-not on a regular basis unless you have Granny near by to take the kids regularly.Your first ministry is to your family. When you're an empty nester you can do more "me centered" stuff. Learn to live seasonally-you can't do it all all at once.

 

Chores are done by everyone in the family throughout the day as needed. Children are taught to pick up after themselves all day long. Children are bring trained to do chores so by the time they're 6 they can do most chores by themselves. Read up on threads about kids chores here. You will see they are not being waited on hand and foot by Mommy-they're working along side mom. They're helping her cook and bake, not just showing up and eating. Chore rotation charts and a cleaning schedule are of use to some people. Develop one that suits your situation. Sometimes it just doesn't get done. No one will die of contamination. It won't make you a failure if your house is messy for a while sometimes. It's just not that important.

 

Children are brought along with mom to most appointments that are not of an intimate nature so they learn how to behave in public. They learn by doing. They learn to sit and play with quiet activities mom brought along. They learn to talk with the other adults (the hairdresser, the dentist, the optometrist, the DMV worker) or they can listen to mom read aloud a great piece of literature. They can play with a hand held game or listen to a recoding of music or a book. If you haven't done this with your children since infancy, it's going to be harder to get the hang of it at first, but you're a smart capable woman-you'll figure it out. Just begin with assumption in can be done. (Millions of us do it every day.)

 

Homeschooling is far and away more efficient, so with young ones you don't need hours and hours of school every day. When they're able to read and write independently they can school on the go when necessary. When they're older than that they can school themselves at home on occasion when you absolutely must be away for an hour or two.

 

It gets easier as they get older if they're being taught while they're younger.

 

 

There have been many great posts in this thread, but this one was particularly inspiring.

 

I hope OP will let us know if this has been helpful!

[HS Mom in NC]

Yes, but that basically means in my case that I will have 35 years of no me time!! WOW!!! Then I get to follow my husband in his retirement plans, which basically means that I will never have me time.

 

I can understand he concerns. And LISTEN to yourself and I say BRAVO for asking the question. All I read about when I researched taking my kids out of school is how wonderful it was. It has been hard. Just hard sometimes. Just be prepared to make the sacrifices.

 

You should have read my post more closely and not with an all or nothing mindset. I didn't say homeschoolers with small children have absolutely no "me time" ever until the last child graduates. The OP specifically asked about having young children. My last sentenced pointed out that it (everything she listed as a whole including "me time") is easier with older kids so obviously it's not the same at the beginning as it is in the middle or the end. I said there would be more "me time" as an empty nester. This assumes there's some going on. Notice I mentioned it as a rare event-meaning it's happening, just not on a daily or weekly basis which I clearly specified.

[Arcadia]

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

My hubby takes time off if I need to see the doctor. For the dentist we get our dental work done on the same day for the whole family.

Get a haircut

I cut my own hair and my kids hair.

Clothing shop for myself

I shop while my kids are at their saturday class.

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

For ton of waiting, my kids play educational games on the iPad.

For errands that require privacy hubby takes the day off.

 

We also send our kids to parents night out once in a while for couple time.

 

 

Answers above

[Mrs Twain]

I have only read some responses, so apologies if this has been said already.

 

To the OP,

If you have a wonderful public or private school with wonderful teachers who will provide your children with a quality education free from bad influences, then that situation may be best for your family.

 

All of the people I know who homeschool are doing so because they do not have or can not afford an acceptable school which will provide an acceptable situation for their children (for various reasons including academic, spiritual, safety, etc). Since that is the case, the parents are making a sacrifice of time, effort, and finances to provide their children with an education through homeschooling.

 

If you put your kids in school but subsequently find it to be an offensive or otherwise unacceptable situation, then you also will likely discover the will to make the sacrifices to remedy the situation for your children.

[Rosie_0801]

You should have read my post more closely and not with an all or nothing mindset. I didn't say homeschoolers with small children have absolutely no "me time" ever until the last child graduates.

 

No. I'm having some "me time" right now. I'm sitting in my bed with the window open so I can hear where my little guy is. I couldn't make a carpet, take a quilting class and dress making isn't feasible right now, but I can hide in my room every now and then! Apparently bathrooms are also popular places to hide. :P

 

Rosie

[NASDAQ]

" In real life before all day institutionalization of children became the norm, mothers did not expect "me time" every day or every week. Me time is a rare event. Family time is the vast majority of a homeschooling mother's life. Homeschooling is for people who want to be around their children most of the time."

 

When and where did women spend most of their time in "family life" with their children? My understanding (and this is necessarily broad strokes) is that children were/are largely ignored until they could work, and then worked with or without their parents nearby. High intensity full-time child-rearing is modern and was not the status quo ante.

[warneral]

Just for the "other side if the coin" - I do carve out "me" time. I knit, bicycle (50+mi at times), or exercise and read the bible. Some may think it is selfish, but I find these activities to be important (bible & exercise) or downright refreshing. With a supportive husband, or as your children age and become responsible, you can do some of the things you want to do. I consider homeschooling a full time job and I did concede that bicycling couldn't be what I would like it to be, but that doesn't mean I don't try to find time to do some things I enjoy. I don't make a good martyr :D

[warmthnstrength]

This is the OP: thank you to each of you who took the time to reply. This is a terrific community, and I've already learning a lot as I browse these boards. :grouphug:

 

Thanks again to all who responded to my questions. I'm very grateful.

Edited January 20, 2013 by WarmthandStrength

[LucyStoner]

Priorities shift. Values change. Creativity becomes important.

 

I can't be the only mom here whose old haircut budget goes to curriculum?!:lol: my husband helps me trim it and I rock the ponytail or braid a lot.

 

My husband's weekend is Sunday and Monday so if I need to do something without the kids, that's my time. We also have a fellow hs family whose son is tight with my son. We trade off a little babysitting each week so every other week, I have a bit of time to myself and my younger son. The boys like working on projects together.

 

I take the kids marketing and shopping (mostly Goodwill for clothes etc.) I go to the gym with the kids thanks to childcare + my older son is old enough to exercise with me so it doubles as PE time. If I don't make it to the gym in the day, I go later after dinner and leave the kids home with dad.

 

In the late afternoons, we do some chores or baking together and my son helps with dinner by either helping cook or by entertaining his little brother. If I am lucky I can get some housework in while he works on his school work.

 

I keep a clean house but that is only because of a combination of small space+chores+cleaning as you go. The house gets picked up by the kids with dad in a nightly "10 minute clean" that my husband facilitates (usually right when he gets home.)h

 

It helps immensely that my husband comes home and helps rather than pretending to be Ward Cleaver or something.

 

I personally feel I get more time for myself now than I used to. I am much slimmer and have more energy. I even get to read for fun. Woot.

Edited November 14, 2012 by kijipt

[Alte Veste Academy]

I was disappointed that so many of the posts confirmed a fear (or perhaps stereotype) of homeschool mothers being unable to take great care of their homes, health, and appearance. I know neither myself or my husband would be happy with a bedraggled Mom or super messy house, so I also appreciate those who had tips for keeping those areas up.

 

There are many of us who bathe and dress in a reasonably stylish way daily (sometimes even with jewelry :tongue_smilie:), get regular haircuts (and other self-care as required), keep clean homes, feed our family wholesome home cooked meals 3x a day, have regular date nights and nightly time alone with our spouses, stake out a bit of time for ourselves, and still manage to educate the children. It is possible. It gets much easier as kids get older. (I had three in a little more than 3 years and have an Army DH who is gone a great deal, so yes, there were some less than picture-perfect moments...to say the least. :lol:)

 

However, I am sorry to say that very often when posters mention that this is indeed possible, they are almost immediately contradicted by countless other posters who protest that this is, in fact, a rare and virtually impossible standard. It is not. It is a matter of good habits and priorities, knowing when to fight the chaos and when to rest into it, knowing how to pick your battles, and purposefully allocating small parcels of time toward progress rather than getting mired down in the quicksand of wasted time.

[kb44]

I know just as many, if not more PSing families whose houses are way messier than mine. But, you cannot have a picture perfect house with children...hsing or not. My house was and would still be messed up just the same, in the time my kids got home from school. That's just having kids...especially the more the messier. And, when they are in those elem. school years, where they are doing projects, mobile, making their own choices, and LEGOS are a favorite, :lol: I think lowering your standards from having a pristine or even constantly clean house is sanity for the entire family. That being said, most of my friends are in awe of how clean my house usually is.

 

As far as dress, I have never seen a homeschool mom looking "bedraggled." We just understand the value of not ruining good clothes, and save those for our Mom's Night Out! :lol:

 

Seriously, I think you will see changes in your house and expectations just as your children grow, and become their own little people, and as your family grows in size, vs whether you are hsing or not. :D

Edited November 14, 2012 by kb44

[LucyStoner]

There are many of us who bathe and dress in a reasonably stylish way daily (sometimes even with jewelry :tongue_smilie:), get regular haircuts (and other self-care as required), keep clean homes, feed our family wholesome home cooked meals 3x a day, have regular date nights and nightly time alone with our spouses, stake out a bit of time for ourselves, and still manage to educate the children. It is possible. It gets much easier as kids get older. (I had three in a little more than 3 years and have an Army DH who is gone a great deal, so yes, there were some less than picture-perfect moments...to say the least. :lol:)

 

However, I am sorry to say that very often when posters mention that this is indeed possible, they are almost immediately contradicted by countless other posters who protest that this is, in fact, a rare and virtually impossible standard. It is not. It is a matter of good habits and priorities, knowing when to fight the chaos and when to rest into it, knowing how to pick your battles, and purposefully allocating small parcels of time toward progress rather than getting mired down in the quicksand of wasted time.

 

I tend to agree in my own situation. Despite personally being in the home haircut club (frankly, a financial concern- my hair grows fast so if I do a cute short cut I need it done 8+ times a year, long hair is cheaper to maintain and I see no need to pay someone to trim my split ends.) Yes, I shower and blow dry my hair and dress to my own satisfaction of stylish. I don't feel one iota of guilt over my own hobbies or the time spent on my marriage etc. I work out far more now than I did previously. Of course, I have no infants and only 2 kids so I can't /won't claim to know what is possible for all others.

[Rosie_0801]

However, I am sorry to say that very often when posters mention that this is indeed possible, they are almost immediately contradicted by countless other posters who protest that this is, in fact, a rare and virtually impossible standard. It is not. It is a matter of good habits and priorities, knowing when to fight the chaos and when to rest into it, knowing how to pick your battles, and purposefully allocating small parcels of time toward progress rather than getting mired down in the quicksand of wasted time.

 

I think it is possible if you get adequate amounts of sleep.

 

Rosie

Edited November 14, 2012 by Rosie_0801

[OrdinaryTime]

This is the OP: thank you to each of you who took the time to reply. This is a terrific community, and I've already learning a lot as I browse these boards. :grouphug:

 

For those who wondered, I have two little sons, and we hope to have a new baby next year -- making 3 children, 5-and-under. I should have mentioned that we do not have family nearby, and my husband works long, late hours and travels frequently, so he is not predictably home evenings and weekends. We also have an unusual # of appointments due to various health problems. I have not been in many examining rooms in our area that would accommodate three children, the doctor(s), and myself!

 

I have taken our boys all over NYC, Philly, Baltimore, and DC alone, so I love being "out" with them, but times where I am immobilized, distracted, or need privacy is another matter.

 

Our sons are pretty well behaved, but I have also had some bad experiences. There was the baby who screamed non-stop while the dentist had his drill in my mouth, and the toddler who walked into a glass shelf at JC Penny while I was fastening the strap of the bridesmaid sandals I needed for my brother's wedding. In my area the DMV is a 3 hour process; the line wraps around the parking lot. I have dealt with changing a poop blowout and nursing while standing in that line. All of this "do-able," but certainly at a cost to me, the children, and others around us.

 

I liked the tips about having a regular sitter for appointments, and going to lunch or shopping with other homeschool mothers. I also appreciated those who pointed out that sending your oldest to school may be giving up your best helper, and who were encouraging that various difficulties can be overcome and may be well worth it.

 

Many of you made great points about how times have changed, though SAHMs are the norm in our church and neighborhood, including among those with children in public and private school. My wonderful mother actually worked a little for my Dad's business, but it was during school hours so I was barely aware of it. I have been a (part-time) working mother as well, but the solution to my questions then was easy -- go to appointments during lunch or ask the sitter to stay a bit later.

 

I was disappointed that so many of the posts confirmed a fear (or perhaps stereotype) of homeschool mothers being unable to take great care of their homes, health, and appearance. I know neither myself or my husband would be happy with a bedraggled Mom or super messy house, so I also appreciate those who had tips for keeping those areas up.

 

I had an absolutely wonderful childhood and did very well in school and in my career. My siblings are also all walking with the Lord and succeeding in their callings...so I feel like the path my parents chose "worked." That makes it difficult to consider doing something else, although we have some different ideas and circumstances.

 

Thanks again to all who responded to my questions. I'm very grateful.

 

I had four in less than five years while my husband worked full-time in demanding job and went to law school at night. Some rough years there. I seriously don't remember a few of them due to sleep deprivation.:tongue_smilie: It does get much, much better as the kids just get a little bit older. I am glad I didn't make my decisions based solely on how things felt then. Just a few years later, and it is much less overwhelming to run around with the kids, get work done at home, and just be around them all. the. time.

 

I remember feeling much the same as you when I decided (rather reluctantly) to homeschool. My mom was a SAHM who was a wonderful homemaker. I, too, remember coming home from school to fresh baked goods daily! (My mom had seven kids, often was homeschooling one who needed a break from school, and was on a very tight budget so she wasn't just sitting around eating bons-bons all day!) The most difficult part of homeschooling for me is giving up the role of a full-time homemaker. It is something I am good at and really enjoy. Though I still keep a clean home, enjoy making our home beautiful and inviting, baking, etc, I don't have the time I would to dedicate to some domestic pursuits that I would have otherwise. Acknowledging the loss was actually helpful to me.

 

You don't have to throw out all your standards, though! I try to keep on top of clutter, cleaning as I go through out the day, so there is visual calm and peace in the house. I could not bear to teach at home otherwise. When I am pregnant or in a tough phase, I hire a cleaning crew to come bi-weekly to deep clean. Last year, I found a college girl to come once a week for a few hours so I could go to a ballet class, grocery shop, and run a few quick errands. I've made some good friends who I can swap babysitting with for doctors appt or hair cuts. At one point, I actually hosted hair cutting parties in my home every couple months. A local professional hairdresser would come and cut all morning. We Moms left feeling great, and the kids had a fun play date. Get creative!

 

As I said I was a reluctant homeschooled and just taking the decision one year at a time helped relieve some of the stress. I was able to get a cleare picture of whatnit was truly like to homeschool and had time to find solutions. I still regret some of the trade-offs of homeschooling, but the benefits have far outweighed the costs thus far. It is hard to see the big picture at the beginning, especially when you are in the weeds with lots of toddlers! Good luck with your decision-making!

[warneral]

?...and purposefully allocating small parcels of time toward progress rather than getting mired down in the quicksand of wasted time.

 

This is how I keep the house clean when I do. Do a little here and a little there. It takes a purposeful attitude and I only do it some of the time.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

 

I was disappointed that so many of the posts confirmed a fear (or perhaps stereotype) of homeschool mothers being unable to take great care of their homes, health, and appearance. I know neither myself or my husband would be happy with a bedraggled Mom or super messy house, so I also appreciate those who had tips for keeping those areas up.

 

 

 

I guess I didn't see that. I'll have to re-read the thread. Most of us said we didn't have the time or interest to follow the latest fashions, but that's not the same as saying we are bedraggled! I am quite neat and presentable, thank you, and so are all the homeschooling Moms of my acquaintance.

 

We also said that we can't "play house" all day but we all spoke of the various ways we handle housekeeping as homeschooling mothers. We don't clean while everyone is gone for the day, but our houses are quite clean.

 

It's not either/or. It's a matter of priorities, time management, and tremendous hard work, whatever kind of mother you are or how you educate your kids. People tend to do the things they really want to do. If you care about keeping a very clean house, as I do, you'll get it done somehow, even if you homeschool. If you want to stay physically fit, you will get up at 5 a.m. and work out, even if you homeschool. If you want to go to Bible studies in the school day, you will arrange for the childcare and fit the missed lessons into your evening. It all depends on your own health and determination. Your homeschool would be an outgrowth of yourself. It's not a club that you join. It's an extension of your life and your convictions.

 

If you don't think you can homeschool without turning into a slouchy mess or letting your house go to pot, don't do it.