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Overwhelmed by homeschooling drawbacks


warmthnstrength
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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice.

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

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ditto

 

 

I have only one child and still I can't get it all done. But I spend hours every day with my child.

 

 

Kindy doesn't have to take that much time. You can spend an hour a day doing what needs to be done. Surely you can fit that in between every thing else. It doesn't have to be all at once. We do a lot of things at night because then my son is more receptive. You can do things in the car even. We have done schoolwork while he is in the tub.

 

You get creative, just like you do any other necessary thing.

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I took my kids out of private school for 3rd and 1st grade this year -- it's been just me and the toddler home for the two previous years.

 

The hardest schedule changes for me have been:

Not going to the gym during the day -- last winter I went 5-6 times a week and left the youngest in the gym daycare for 90 min while I took a class and showered. Now I go at least once on the weekend and try to go 2 evenings. I'll meet my husband at the gym and we swap cars so he continues his drive home but has the kids and I come home to a late supper (or go to the gym while he puts them to bed). It's harder but not impossible.

 

I agreed to be my MOMS Club treasurer right before deciding to homeschool but now I can't attend any of the regular events. I have to go to the business meeting and the board meeting (once a month each) but my kids are whiny and I don't blame them since they're the only ones over age 4 and then we have to squish school into the afternoon. I'm stuck with this all year and won't be volunteering for the job next summer.

 

I've realized that scheduled appointments are best done mid-late afternoon. There are usually more openings (and easier traffic) than if I try to get after-work-hours appts. We're able to finish school by that point in the day. I have to beg family members to watch the kids but most of the time I would have needed toddler babysitting anyway. Haircuts and stuff happen on the weekend.

 

Other things I did last year -- chat with my SIL on the phone for an hour at 11am or trade toddlers for half-days to get stuff done. Now we talk before 9am or over lunch but it's not the same and we can't just hang out at each other's houses anymore. That's been a hard switch.

 

I work about 10 hrs a week from home and before deadlines I used to line up babysitters to get half a day's work done and not have to do everything after the kids were in bed. My hours have dropped a lot both because the clients chose it and because I can't pick up extra stuff like I did while they were in school.

 

As for doing all the cleaning while kids were gone -- that one is better now than it used to be. My kids didn't use to help clean at all. There wasn't time between supper and homework and bedtime. Now I expect more from them and they have time to do it. They also like helping me cook, which they hadn't been able to do since they started fulltime school.

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OH boy...it is a completely different way of life! I always planned on sending my kids to school. I had NO intention of homeschooling. But life changes! I almost had them all in school, (5th, 3rd & 2nd grade... with a little one all ready to start K) when my 3rd grader asked to be homeschooled.... after a bit of a story... I ended up homeschooling all of them. I never got to have my dream, of having delightful days to get everything done I wanted to! Somehow, you just do it. The relationship with your kids shifts to something that is more important and closer. You learn to do things together, and make it work. It is huge for the kids to big involved with all those events that adults do. They learn to understand the bank, the doctor... all that stuff, and then they can do it themselves! They learn the lingo adults use, and when it comes time they aren't daunted by it. My kids are pretty much grown now... and I don't regret the sacrifices of my own time at all. (Not to say, I didn't lose my sanity now and then! REALLY! But that isn't what I remember!)

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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

1. Schedule on DH's day off.

2. Hope for the money and either take the girls (who are older now and can just get manicures and be customers) or schedule on DH's day off.

3. HA! I shop online or spend a very short time in store.

4. I don't, or I do it on DH's day off.

5. I don't.

 

My kids are 9 and 7 now, but I spent more than a few years with 2 young kids in tow. You just... do it. And no, my house isn't spotless, but with DH's help it's okay. Sometimes you drop in a load of laundry in the middle of school or handle things on the weekends. And sometimes you just have to let certain things slide.

 

It's very, very different, homeschooling and traditional schooling. Each lifestyle works for different people, and that's fine. You have to decide what is most important to you - having your kids at home or following in your mom's footsteps. I don't think you can really have both.

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Mine go to Dr. appts with me. They have little bags to pack with coloring books, small toys, etc..just for waiting rooms. (I am pregnant, so we go to the Dr. a lot these days.)

 

I don't do a lot of shopping, but when I do on the rare occasion I just take them with me. I teach them how to behave in public. It's not been an issue. (Not at school ages...toddler/preschool is different story!)

 

 

They've been to the DMV with me. I bring along read-alouds. It makes the time more interesting for me too. Sometimes strangers listen in and join our conversations.:001_smile:

 

 

Be a squeaky wheel if you want childcare at the ladies church meetings, but I bet you'll soon find that you don't want to give up your school mornings to go to those anyway. Find groups that meet in the evenings when school-age childcare is the norm.

 

 

Cleaning the house...good luck.:tongue_smilie: I teach mine to do one chore at a time. They can all 3 do quite a bit around the house. Invest in tools that they can use. (I love the steam mop b/c I rarely get a turn.;)) After a full morning of school, let the dc go off and play. Then you can pull out the ladder.

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I haul all four of my kids everywhere we go. If my oldest was in school, I'd have one less kid, but it would be still be crazy because the littles make it so. In fact, in many ways, if I sent my oldest to school, it would be sending off my most well-behaved and reasonable child. Instead, she helps me where she can and we're both grateful for the time we spend together. It's a way of life.

 

Now, if I could send my 3yo away to "school" for free a few mornings each week... I'd be very tempted. :D

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Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

 

:iagree: Except for "ponytail and jeans" instead of "bun and yoga pants". :lol:

 

But in all seriousness, you do adjust. As others have said "school" doesn't take too much time for K, and as the kids get older and it does take more time, but older kids are also able to help more with younger ones, help more with chores or cooking, or do some schoolwork independently.

 

I take my kids with for some things that involve waiting, like the dr or DMV (DD brings a book or schoolwork, toys or coloring for the younger ones, baby in stroller or carrier). Haircuts and some shopping I only have the patience to do alone is evenings or weekends when DH can watch kids. I only pick a few church things or other meetings I must attend without kids, and I either have DH watch the kids or hire a sitter. For some appointments that must happen during the day but I can't really bring the kids for (like the dentist), I hire a sitter or ask my mom to babysit. As you get to know homeschooling families, you might meet ones with teens that are homeschooled who have the flexibility to watch kids at hours that public school kids can't.

 

And my house is rarely very clean or tidy. But as my kids get older that is slowly changing. You'll be surprised how much more your kids are capable of in just a couple years! Dd8 can do her own laundry, clean a bathroom, etc.

 

Good luck with your decision!

Edited by kirstenhill
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We knew we would homeschool before our kids were born so our life has always been geared this way. BUT, having made other pardigm-shifting life decisions I think I can say, with confidence, that you do adjust. You adopt a new normal. Not a worse normal. But a new normal. If dh is really committed to homeschooling and has a flexible job that is a HUGE help. I get the majority of appointments in while he is having work at home days. I take the two younger kids and leave work for the two older.

 

It also helps a lot to get connected with other homeschooling families. Try hunting around for Yahoo groups or on Facebook (or here--I haven't tried the networking board yet?) for homeschoolers local to your area. A friend who homeschools swaps babysitting with me regularly so we aren't always having to take all our kids to everything. And having other parents to partner with makes field trips more feasible (for me, anyway!).

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Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It can be very difficult. I take my kids with me when I go shopping, we get haircuts when my husband gets off work, Drs appointments or something special requires my husband to take off early on Friday afternoon or you could have a relative watch them (we have no relatives here, so it's just the 2 of us). I don't attend church events for women. I DO take the kids to church service by myself (my husband usually works sundays).

 

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

I run a tight ship and my kids know that on certain days, we do certain things. On Thursday afternoons, we clean the entire house, do laundry and wash bedding. On Friday mornings, we buy groceries (and get donuts - LOL). Friday afternoons are for haircuts, other errands, etc. Saturdays are usually for a project like decluttering, working on our garden, mowing the lawn, etc. My kids help a LOT. All 4 of my kids get an allowance on Fridays.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

Like UmMusa said, that's probably not going to happen! :D Our house isn't always clean and I have never been to a Bible study. You really have to look at your reason for homeschooling and how important it is to your family. We homeschool, because my 2 oldest kids started off in public school and it was a disaster. After just one year, my son hated school, reading, anything to do with learning, etc. He constantly told me how "stupid" he was. He and his sister would cry and start arguing/negotiating when it was time to get their backpacks on and walk to the school bus. My oldest daughter was constantly being sent home for anxiety-related symptoms. After a year of this, my daughter was identified as gifted and my son was being pulled from class to work with the Special Ed teacher every day. I figured they BOTH needed some serious one-on-one attention, so I pulled them out of school. My son would not be where he is today in his reading and math if I wouldn't have spent all that time working with him.

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Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

 

These things aren't impossible. Harder? Probably. Impossible? Nope. Many women take their little kids to all of these things.

 

I usually leave the kids with someone (either my mom or someone from church - many ladies at church offer to babysit my kids for free) to go to the doctor. I take one kid with me for the dentist, because we have our appointment at the same time. He gets his teeth cleaned while I watch from the chair in the corner. Then we switch. The dentist comes in and looks at my teeth, then we bring DS2 back over to the chair for the dentist to look at his teeth. DS2 just turned 6 (he's "K"), and he's the child that I usually have to worry about behavior-wise, but he's fine sitting in the corner of the room watching me get my teeth cleaned.

 

For hair cuts, I prefer to have someone watch the kids, but sometimes that doesn't work out, so instead, I load up the kids' backpack with books, and they sit on the floor of the salon and read books the entire time. :D I was actually shocked at how well that worked the first time I did it. I also do this for doctor appointments if no one can watch the kids.

 

I take the kids clothing shopping with me. The hardest time was when DS3 was a newborn and I was trying to find non-maternity clothes that would fit. DS2 was 2.5 at that point, and DS1 was 5. Again, it actually turned out ok. I had to stop and nurse in the fitting room at one point, but I was able to shop.

 

Going to places that require waiting... that has been good for teaching the kids patience. Though our DMV lines aren't long if I avoid the lunch hour crowd. I think getting our tag renewed was long one time (had to go in person for some reason), but the kids did ok. I've even taken them into jewelry stores and the like, but I talk to them first and let them know in no uncertain terms that they WILL act like little angels in that store. ;)

 

I have 3 boys, so it can be rowdy sometimes, but I am training them to behave properly in public places, and homeschooling allows me to do that! When one or two were little, I used baby carriers a LOT. Once they were about 6 months old, they were tossed on my back so I had two free hands. I also teach the little ones to hold my hand (I just say "hand" as we're about to go into a parking lot, and my youngest grabs it), so we don't have any running off in the parking lot.

 

And I agree with a PP that sending my oldest off to school was sending my best behaved away. It was the little ones that were a problem, and going to school didn't affect them. :tongue_smilie:So I appreciate having my oldest with me to help with the little kids and to set an example for them.

Edited by boscopup
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:iagree: with the previous posters.

 

One needs to decide what is most important, long-term. Are memories (like you have of your mother) what you most want your child to remember of you and your time together? Or a different type of memory (untidy house, but working together to build a model of something/read a book/history activity).

 

I have my degree in elem ed. I bought into the public education model and did not ever see myself homeschooling. HA! My DH had different ideas and planted that seed in my heart. But if my kids went to public school, I'd probably have to go back to work full-time....so it's not like I'd be sitting at home baking treats or out with friends. So, easy call for me: home with my kids.

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Our kids are 6, 4, and 1. We're doing kindy this year. We do about two hours of school in the morning. After that the older two play outside or build with Legos in their room. I clean, cook, etc. then. I have plenty of time to keep the house clean, cook and bake from scratch, etc. The kids have to come with me to appointments and on errands, but they behave. I go to Bible study one morning a week. The younger two go to the nursery. DD6 brings schoolwork and a checklist and sits outside the classroom. If she finishes everything on her list, we go to our local aquarium or children's museum afterwards. (They're right by church.) When the kids have to do something boring with me, I remind them that their friends are in school 7 hours a day. A few hours of boring grown-up stuff each week isn't too bad in comparison.

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Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

Well, you do it with the kids :D What I have learned is that children are learning all the time and errands can be educational, so can housework. Even without a set curriculum to teach them :p

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

 

Take them with you. My boys love phlebotomists (sp). All those appts are good learning opportunities.

Get a haircut

 

Schedule everyone's cuts for the same time.

Clothing shop for myself

 

Definitely done when dh gets home :)

 

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

 

Again, that's time for the dc to bond with dh.

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

Time to lobby for child care at church.

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

You might be amazed at how much can be accomplished with an entourage.

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

Even if you hs, the children will still need to learn to amuse themselves.

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

Chores are good. Even littles can get a feeling of accomplishment from helping to clean the house. Putting away their own laundrey (and helping wash it) is one of those things. Oh, and baking together? Way more fun, at least for littles. They also tend to like washing dishes...

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time.

 

So you have multiple young children, or just the one 5 year old who will be with you?

 

No longer a Mom of littles, but I was, and I was easily able to get out for those necessary doctor appointments in the early years, because I had my Mom, though I wouldn't have asked her to babysit for a haircut (she was old!). Do you have someone that can watch your child for the occasional things you simply must do during the day? I always got my hair cut at night.

 

As far as cleanliness, it isn't that time consuming to do what you normally do while the child is playing, and some things you just let go while you have a little one at home, and you do that on the weekend with your husband. Kids like to do most things with you so they can "help".

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My children go with me when I run errands. I always have, even with multiple young children. I just taught them to behave while we were out. That includes shopping for myself. DH of course doesn't mind watching them when he can but right now I have more important things going on other than getting myself a new outfit.

 

My children are my ministry right now and are way more important than whether or not I make it to the latest Beth Moore installment at the church. I don't think of what I am missing by having them with me. I think of what would be missing if I was without them and that far outweighs any of the things you listed.

 

Your mom sounds awesome and you guys made some great memories, but just because you can't make it look exactly like she did doesn't mean the memories you make with your children can't be awesome too! My house may not be the cleanest, but we do life together and I wouldn't have it any other way!

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It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

 

 

I think you've got to decide which is more important to you in the foreseeable future. You are right, those things are tricky and sometimes I have to wait a long time to get my haircut and I order most everything online these days, try it on and send it back if it doesn't work as I can't get to the store either.

 

You can always hire a babysitter or get into a swap with another mom in the neighborhood. I'm in a situation in which I am in a tight knit neighborhood and no one else homeschools. When their kids are off school for federal holidays, snow days, etc. I am open to helping out with childcare. When I am in a pinch and need to go to the GYN, I have a few moms that are willing to help me out.

 

YES, I would love to get to the gym regularly, go grocery shopping by myself, read a book in one sitting, have my house be completely clean all the time, etc. but it isn't going to happen while I am homeschooling. I work out with DVDs now (Turbo Fire) and have hired a housekeeper to come ever 2 weeks. I use the crock pot A LOT. We found a dentist that has Saturday appointments so my DH is around to help out. You just have to get creative at finding solutions. :001_smile:

Edited by drexel
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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

Your life will NOT look like your mother's. Neither will your house. :D. If that's what is most important to you, then homeschooling probably isn't for you. Homeschooling is the same as a full time job...that you do in your house with children who are omnipresent. Everything else takes a back seat. And honestly, if you're trying to get all of that extra stuff done during a homeschooling day...you're not homeschooling right. Things like clothes shopping, salon appointments, extracurricular activities for mom...those can't happen in the middle of the day. Your only responsibility during your homeschool day is the education of your children. If you get to accomplish anything else on occasion...consider yourself lucky and celebrate. :lol:

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Yes, homeschooling truly does require a paradigm shift. :-)

 

When my dc were little, I didn't do women's activities at my church that were scheduled during the day. I just didn't. Ladies' Bible study in the evening, yes; morning Bible study, no. In the history of the world, a ladies' Bible study, especially without the children, is a new event. :-) And I wouldn't even lobby for childcare.

 

Shopping for myself was in the evening, when Mr. Ellie was home. And that's when I went grocery shopping, too. The children went with me to doctor appointments whenever possible (happily, I'm a healthy person, lol).

 

Cleaning house takes more focus. It can be done, but you have to be focussed. Clean the kitchen *right now* instead of later, make the bed as soon as you get up, stay on the clutter (including teaching the dc not to scatter their belongings around the house. This may take a long time!). Take the clothes out of the dryer and fold them right now.

 

We all have learned to adjust. You will, too, because it is SO worth it.

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You don't get it all done, and you sacrifice a lot. But you're doing it for a reason, a noble reason, and you realize that this is a season of your life, it won't last forever, but you do it because you'll never get back these days with your kids,m once they're gone, they're gone. On a practical note, I schedule apps. In the afternoons, after school. I either take them all with me, or some of them (imagine a baby and a toddler in the room with me stark n@ked at the dermatologist and Cheerios literally all over the floor and both girls screaming) and I utilize my mom as babysitter when I have to. I schedule hair apps. In the late afternoon after dh gets home from work. The house is always a wreck, I attend a women's Bible study on Wed. Nights when the kids are at Awana. You figure out ways to do what has to be done and the rest you let go.

Edited by KrissiK
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For me, almost all those things can be done with kids in tow, or when dh is home. Some of those aren't important to me, (ie. events for woman).

 

My kids will be grown and gone before I know it. Then I'll have plenty of time to myself.

 

I am also lucky right now because I have a neighbor up the street who we have a playdate with after lunch. (She also homeschools). Usually it's at my house. But if I ever want to go out it can usually be scheduled for her house than I'll have an hour or two to myself.

 

As for the things I could get done with them gone, (Sewing, cleaning, baking). They would rather be home with me then those things. They can also help with them.

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Yes, homeschooling truly does require a paradigm shift. :-)

 

When my dc were little, I didn't do women's activities at my church that were scheduled during the day. I just didn't. Ladies' Bible study in the evening, yes; morning Bible study, no. In the history of the world, a ladies' Bible study, especially without the children, is a new event. :-) And I wouldn't even lobby for childcare.

 

Shopping for myself was in the evening, when Mr. Ellie was home. And that's when I went grocery shopping, too. The children went with me to doctor appointments whenever possible (happily, I'm a healthy person, lol).

 

Cleaning house takes more focus. It can be done, but you have to be focussed. Clean the kitchen *right now* instead of later, make the bed as soon as you get up, stay on the clutter (including teaching the dc not to scatter their belongings around the house. This may take a long time!). Take the clothes out of the dryer and fold them right now.

 

We all have learned to adjust. You will, too, because it is SO worth it.

:iagree: When my mom quit to stay home with us (not hsing, just making the shift from working woman to sahm) we stopped getting a lot that we had been used to (their income was hobbled by this change), but the gains were so much bigger. I imagine that not having fresh cookies or magic laundrey would not be as big a loss as the gain of hsing.

 

For me, almost all those things can be done with kids in tow, or when dh is home. Some of those aren't important to me, (ie. events for woman).

 

My kids will be grown and gone before I know it. Then I'll have plenty of time to myself.

 

I am also lucky right now because I have a neighbor up the street who we have a playdate with after lunch. (She also homeschools). Usually it's at my house. But if I ever want to go out it can usually be scheduled for her house than I'll have an hour or two to myself.

 

As for the things I could get done with them gone, (Sewing, cleaning, baking). They would rather be home with me then those things. They can also help with them.

:iagree: Edited by lionfamily1999
woops posted my response to Julie under Ellie, can't fix it from my gadget though :(
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It is different for sure, but not in a bad way. It really does get easier too. As your son gets older, it will be easier to take him places. My girls spend hours at doctors' offices. We've found ways to deal with the boredom. You'll also meet other hs moms who can trade babysitting to cover doctor appointments.

 

I just asked my girls if they would rather go to school and come home to a clean house and snack- instead of cleaning, running errands, sitting at doctors' appointments, etc. I was surprised (and pleased) they both chose homeschooling. My 8yo looked horrified and said she would definitely choose as much family time as possible, even if it meant she had to clean. :001_smile: My 11yo said she would definitely rather homeschool because she wouldn't want me to clean her room while she was gone. :lol:

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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

I will be honest the thought I emphasized above has been such a temptation for me lately (and it never has been in my previous 11 years of homeschooling :confused:) but then I realize with our current finical situation and college and retirement looming I'd just have to get a job anyway.:) So I carry one and do the best I can.

 

 

1. It's hard and I don't get to these things as often as I should since the teens got their own jobs.

2. :confused: :tongue_smilie:Seriously I don't. I was on a once a year schedule but decided to give that up and grow my hair to my rear.:D

3. Shop online but I hate shopping anyway.

4. Special errands don't happen often and usually I just have to take the kids.

5. I don't do women's events or any events that are not on the weekend and oriented toward family.

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I have always homeschooled, so I never had to deal with the adjustment of going from an empty house in the day to one with kids.

 

My house isnt perfect, but we all work together and it is okay. Boys have definitely learned how to do their chores, which is something I dont think most public schooled kids can do (not all of them, but some). My boys do their laundry, clean their bathroom, clean their rooms and do the dishes. They come with me on errands usually. I am lucky in that my DH works for himself, so I can drop them off at his office on days when I really need to do something on my own for a bit. It's a nice convenience. We bake together, or I cook and the boys read. I dont do stuff during the day for me, like bible study or meeting with girlfriends, but that's okay. I never had that, so I dont really miss it.

 

I exercise using DVDs or go to the gym where they have child care. My older plays basketball while i run.

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Not sure how many kids you have or what ages and I think that makes a difference.

But, here's what I do to make it work.

Batch; school, housework, trips to town, dr's visits, etc. We live out of town. when we go to town we get all of our errands done at once.

Housework- the kids help from a young age. Nowex towels make cleaning the bathroom and dusting easy peasy. Quality tools get things done faster.

School- schedule it, take it seriously, treat it like the job that it is (even those the unschool -really unschool, not use it as an excuse) are quite deliberate in how they approach ed and learning. Public school parents that are involved do this as well- the time is just allocated differently.

Sports/ outside activities- manage them, don't let them make your life miserable. This year the 2 youngers are in one activity- 18 yo is in more but he is driving.

We are also re-building a house after a fire-our kids are learning skills along with us- drywalling, etc. Utilitze the resources that you have. I make serious use of CD's, co-ops, class days. We outsource when it makes sense- there are so many classes on -line now. Take advantadge of the many classes around.

Develop a lifestyle of learning (here is an article I wrote for HSV)- dh and I are learning all of the time- we read, study, write and talK: there is a constant input/output flow.

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My kids go with me everywhere. I don't do a ton of "me-centered" activities. I do get Thursday evening to myself, so that is when I do everything I need to/want to in terms of personal errands. I also enjoy the quiet after the kids go to bed.

 

Homeschooling is just a whole different way of doing things :) Incorporate real life into your children's educations and they will benefit from it. I mean this in kindness-- you will be showing THEM how to be better parents in the future-- they will readily accept that their kids can/should be a part of these things, be good, be patient, be learning and wondering. They will then not show up on an Internet board wondering how to go to the DMV when they have a child at home ;) (I tease in good humor, but I am sure you see what I'm saying!)

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I have 4 young children. When we have to go places I load up homework, books, and coloring sheets for the waiting room. We take school with us and they stay occupied :) Easy fix.

 

If we had Bible studies during daytime hours I probably wouldn't go. Maybe for k/1 grade years and I'd take school work like above. After that you will need those hours at home. I have a strong network of friends that we get together and have better discussions that pertain to where I'm at in my life anyways. You'll find that more valuable.

 

Mine go to appts. with me or I schedule on days off. Also if you can find a friend to swap out sitting for those things. Join a homeschool group or find some in your area. Beware, a lot of us have more than a few kids ;) lol

 

We have a very close knit relationship. We discuss things I don't see other children talking about. I don't have to deal with the sass and backtalk I already see boys my oldest age doing. My daughter apologizes and looks at other girls funny already (age 4).

 

We live on a farm and we take care of all our animals outside. I think society has grossly underestimated the ability of young children to help. My 5 year old helps throw out hay, bed down chickens, carry feed, etc. My 4 year old can get my goats in milking stand with feed and help me milk. Inside they are expected to help keep rooms clean, put away own laundry sorted, they clean off the table, sweep the floors, mop, and love dusting. If you never make it work, and make it part of the day and fun they never know! My biggest pet peeve is a generation separated from work that feels like everything is owed to them because they are "educated".

 

My children are also more involved in the community and know what being an adult entails. Going to the BMV, voting (they all went with me and helped me push buttons). They understand grocery shopping and meal planning. They help cook. All of these are things you never get in school! We are working on doing all laundry now with the three oldest (making our soap, amoutn to put in, sorting, changing, etc). Many college kids don't know how to do laundry, lol.

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When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

 

 

This was my life growing up also. It was nice to come home to a clean house, but I never learned how to clean a house (when I left home at 22 to live in my own apartment, my mom showed me how to clean a toilet!) It was nice to have cookies or cake waiting when I got off the bus, but it would have been a lot nicer to have been a part of the baking with my mom and to have that time to build our relationship (she's a good mom, but we don't have a close relationship). I'm sure she had fun going out with her friends, but now (30 years later) she doesn't keep in contact with any of those women. So, how important was it that she bond with them instead of her children? You know what? She had a lot of "me time" - in fact, so much so that it kills her to sacrifice her time to be with her grandchildren now. I rarely ask her to babysit because I can tell how much she'd rather be doing her own thing (shopping, reading her Bible, painting, etc.) Honestly, it is selfishness, and it has driven a wedge between my mom and us (her daughters).

 

So, when it's all said and done, your house won't be perfect (far from it), you'll have little to no "me time", and it will be a huge hassle to get anything accomplished that involves leaving the house. But, 20 years from now, you'll have a closer relationship with your children, they'll know what it takes to clean a house and wash their own clothes, and you'll be a better person for the sacrifices you made.

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I haul all four of my kids everywhere we go. If my oldest was in school, I'd have one less kid, but it would be still be crazy because the littles make it so. In fact, in many ways, if I sent my oldest to school, it would be sending off my most well-behaved and reasonable child. Instead, she helps me where she can and we're both grateful for the time we spend together. It's a way of life.

 

Now, if I could send my 3yo away to "school" for free a few mornings each week... I'd be very tempted. :D

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: except I do send the 3 y.o. (who has autism) to preschool.

 

If I didn't HS, however, I would be employed FT so it's not like I'd be spending all day cleaning, baking, socializing with friends, etc.

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If I didn't HS, however, I would be employed FT so it's not like I'd be spending all day cleaning, baking, socializing with friends, etc.

 

Exactly this. If I wasn't homeschooling, I'd be working, and all of my friends have gone back to work once their kids are all school age, so I wouldn't have anyone to socialize with anyway. I remember my mom doing a lot of the OP poster's comments, but the economy has changed and I don't know anyone who just stays home indefinitely anymore. Even my mom works more now than she did when we were school age.

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I would look deep inside to determine if the picture of motherhood you have set upas ideal is truly an ideal picture for you as a mom to yours. If it is, I don't think homeschooling is a fitting choice for you and your kids.

 

If however, you want to paint your picture of ideal as working on close relationships with your children, full involvement in their development and education, you will learn to let go of one picture of perfection for another picture that might include an imperfect house, an improved education and relationship with your kids plus everyone pitching to keep the household going.

 

I personally think it is better for children to learn and participate in household chores/tasks in order to develop a true sense of responsibility and ability to handle household chores.

Edited by warneral
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Exactly this. If I wasn't homeschooling, I'd be working, and all of my friends have gone back to work once their kids are all school age, so I wouldn't have anyone to socialize with anyway. I remember my mom doing a lot of the OP poster's comments, but the economy has changed and I don't know anyone who just stays home indefinitely anymore. Even my mom works more now than she did when we were school age.

 

I agree. Pretty much I don't know know anyone who is not homeschooling who is often home.

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I am considering beginning homeschooling next year, for Kindergarten, and am overwhelmed by the drawbacks. It seems like such an extreme choice. (Sending a 5-year old boy to school for 35 hours a week seems extreme to me too.)

 

Here's one thing I can't grasp: how on earth do you accomplish the rest of life while homeschooling? :confused:

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

 

In no way do I mean to minimize the very real challenges of homeschooling. It is not always easy. It can be a challenge. Hard work. There are logistic challenges, of course. However, my initial response to the title of this thread was a chuckle and the thought that I am personally overwhelmed by the drawbacks of public schools. In my grand pro/con list of homeschooling vs public schooling, the relatively minor scheduling inconveniences of homeschooling are downright laughable in scope when compared to the major value compromises I would have to make if I were to put my kids in school.

 

Definitely a paradigm shift...of the most wonderful kind.

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Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Get a haircut

Clothing shop for myself

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Attend most of the events our church has for women

 

 

Let's see...

 

Doctor appointments: Kids come with me when allowed. Older two sit in the lobby and read. Youngest goes in room with me. I just make it work. I've taken my laptop with me to play a movie for them many many times. There have been a few times that my friend (who also homeschools) has been able to watch my boys for me. A few times my dh has taken time off work, but that doesn't happen often.

 

Haircut: Weekend

 

Cloth shopping: Weekend and/or online

 

Special errands: We do errands on Fridays when we don't do a full day of lessons.

 

Attend events: I don't if children are not welcome.

 

 

 

When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

What is your priority?

 

I grew up the same way. My mom stayed home and cleaned the house, made meals, etc. She had plenty of time to do that.

 

I don't.

 

I have evaluated my priorities and what I want my kids to have from their childhood. I want them to have a solid foundation in education. I want them to have a solid family bond. Home schooling is the best option for me to achieve those things.

 

You have to adjust your life style and expectations. :)

 

Not one person here will say that it is easy.

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When my siblings and I were growing up, we got off the school bus and returned to a clean house, dinner ready, drawers that had magically refilled with clean laundry, and a mother who had been to Bible study or the mall by herself or been out with friends, and who often had some kind of surprise (baked goodies, something she'd sewn, a room redecorated, etc.) waiting for us. I loved all of that, and so did she!

 

So, homeschooling mothers of young children, how do you fit in your errands and appointments and projects?

Wow! I haven't met anyone who had the luxery/time to greet their children with warm cookies in a long time!

 

The last time I encountered one of my friends making cookies, she was in the middle of a batch of six dozen that she had to deliver to the school for their fundraiser by 1:00. She'd been "volunteered" because out of a room of 30 kids, only four had mothers who weren't "working," of which she was one. So there she was, making six dozen cookies while her four year old and one year old destroyed the house with the aid of the three year and two year she babysat every day in order to be able to afford to stay home with her own preschoolers.

 

Basically, all the stay-at-home moms of school-aged kids I know, and there aren't many outside of my homeschooling circle, are so busy shuttling their kids to and from school and sports and lessons; "volunteering" (voluntarily or not) at their kids' schools; etc., that they don't have any "me" time either. Many of them have far less flexibility than I. I can take a dentist's appointment at the "quiet" time of day, but they have to be available to pick up their first grader.

 

It's way too difficult for me, right now, to:

 

Go the OBGYN, the dentist, the dermatologist, schedule bloodwork....

Either the kids come along, with their school work, or my SIL watches them (I watch her kids when she has such an appointment).

Get a haircut

Can't afford this, because I stay at home with the kids. I wear my hair long in a pony tail and trim my own bangs.

Clothing shop for myself

Can't afford this, because I spend all our "extra" (ha, ha, ha) money on school books.

Take care of special errands (like the dress fitting I needed for a recent wedding, DMV, anything that requires privacy or a ton of waiting)

Kids come with me. They loved the DMV!

Attend most of the events our church has for women

We have nothing scheduled during the day. No one is available. They are all either working, or are home because they have preschoolers.

 

...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

Nothing is impossible with young children in tow. Many things are more inconvenient, but nothing is impossible.

 

Not to mention how challenging it is to keep things at a reasonable level of cleanliness and order when all of the children are home all. the. time. Complicated and time-consuming projects (like those get-out-the-ladder, once-in-a-while cleaning projects) aren't getting done.

Redefine "reasonable level of cleanliness."

Edited by Maus
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I wouldn't assume that homeschooling is like having a preschooler. When DD was a preschooler, I pretty much had to schedule everything for the mornings she was in preschool, because she couldn't wait for me, needed a lot more constant attention, etc. Now, she just packs her backpack with schoolwork, books, and if I'll let her, my iPad, and it's more like "Oh, you're done with your dentist appointment already??". She may or may not get much actually accomplished, but she'll stay busy and quiet. For haircuts, we both go at the same time, no big deal. She also does more chores and is more actively involved in the day-to-day home management than most of the kids who attend PS that I know, and I think it's simply because she's HERE, so it's us doing it together, not my trying to do it while she's at school. There is chaos due to homeschooling, but there's also more time to bring order out of it, YKWIM?

 

As far as social stuff for me, I agree, I simply do it with other homeschooling moms-we'll often go to a restaurant, have all the kids at one table, and all of us at another. The older DC help the littles with things like opening cracker packages or going to the restroom (usually older DC who are the younger sibs at home and enjoy being the big kids), and we get a bit of a break.

 

As far as shopping for clothes, I've found it works well to do this with multiple homeschool moms together-the kids keep themselves busy together, and one of us can stay out with them while the other tries on stuff, then trade off right away. Besides, it's more fun to go shopping with friends anyway!

Edited by dmmetler
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Homeschooling is a paradigm shift. My house is never completely clean. My hair is usually in a bun. I live in yoga pants. I schedule my things last. I put my kids education before everything else. I look at it as my career.

:iagree:

 

For me, almost all those things can be done with kids in tow, or when dh is home. Some of those aren't important to me, (ie. events for woman).

 

My kids will be grown and gone before I know it. Then I'll have plenty of time to myself.

 

As for the things I could get done with them gone, (Sewing, cleaning, baking). They would rather be home with me then those things. They can also help with them.

:iagree:

 

For me the biggest sacrifice of homeschooling was that of my time. It was hard to get around that idea, that I just would not be doing that. My youngest is in kindy this year, all the other moms from the moms group are going to lunch and coffee, shopping etc.... and I am not invited unless I can find a babysitter as it is an adults only lunch. So, the last 6 months I have been focusing on making some more homeschool mom friends, and that has helped.

 

Each kid has a bag with things they bring with them when we go out to appointments. They are very good at sitting in a corner and doing their activities. They even come with for eyebrow waxing. At first, people thought it was strange when I walked in to "grownup things" at "grown up times", now people are used to us, and are always complementing me on how well behaved my children are. They even have started planning for them being there.

 

I went to my dentist last week, and as I walked in, the reception asked if the kids could hang in the waiting room with her. She had brought in a movie for them and hot chocolate (with mini marshmallows). They have a big TV, that usually shows what the office can do (whitening etc...) she took that dvd out and in went the muppets.

 

Now, there are certain things that you don't want to do with kids. Planning. DH asked work a few years ago, he works on Veteran's Day and Memorial Day and I plan my appointments for the Tuesday after. Tomorrow is OBGYN, Mammogram, and a massage (as I have to do both of those other on the same day) In May I do my Oncologist and yearly physical. If anything comes up, I schedule it for those, most can wait until one of those days.

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Having kids at home all the time isn't very restful & you sacrifice your "me" time. You compromise on cleaning & shopping, and self-care so that your kids can get their education at home.

 

It isn't easy.

 

Some days, some times of year, I get "bus envy." While my youngest two would still be home with me, I would have so much more time during the day. It is tempting. There's no glossing over that it is completely different than the life you would have if you sent them to school - whether you'd go to work full or part-time or stay at home & create those filled-with-clean-laundry drawers and yummy-smelling cookies.

 

I will point out that one of our Kindergarten year traditions is always "cooking class." Baking is usually the favorite activity, but sometimes the kids learn to make easy entries in our once-per-week class. My older two girls have taken over preparing lunch once per week (each) for the kids. the oldest is ramping up to planning & preparing the evening meal once per month, but we aren't there yet. We end up baking or cooking something as part of our history (or science) every couple of months, too. ... And one year we did tea parties one Friday every month. They LOVE that.

 

Teach the kids to clean. Mine like the once-in-a-blue-moon cleaning of the windows. My older three all have three morning chores each. The next one has two of the easier chores. The two older ones do a daily cleaning of their bathrooms. I have friends whose children do their own laundry - including putting it away in the proper drawers. :drool:

 

Think of homeschooling as your full-time job. Women who work full time don't have time for all those things on your list, either. (I worked full time until dd#2 was born. DH stayed home with dd#1 for 18 months.)

 

I get a haircut only once per year (sometimes less, I'll admit). My hairstyle is geared toward that. Other HS moms take their kids with them. I don't clothing shop in RL (for myself) very often. Never liked it. But, when I do, I take the kids.

 

My kids have always come to my doctor appts. At some point, the kids will wait in the waiting room. Since my olders are girls, it hasn't been an issue. But, when you take them everywhere and IF you teach them how to behave properly in public, you can leave them in the waiting room without worrying once they get old enough that you need a few minutes of privacy for trying on clothes or OB/GYN appts.

 

You may have to arrange for drop-off child care if you want to go to women's events during the day. I used to be able to go to a bible study at our church with my two oldest. When #3 came & we started HSing, I decided it wasn't big (enough) on my priority list.

 

However, I've managed everything on your list at least once with at least two (and sometimes five) young children in tow. They aren't impossible.

 

But, you have to want this job. The pay can be pretty lousy sometimes. The kids aren't always thankful. This is my vocation right now. I've been called to it. I like to think that I'm less selfish than I'd be if I didn't HS. You have to decide what is more important for you.

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I think its just a case of changing your expectations when you start homeschooling (the same happened though once you had children as that little baby had to go everywhere) I have taken my children with me to almost everything - they have been to the hairdresser where the oldest keeps herself occupied (she's K age) with colouring or talking to whoever is there or looking at books and the youngest (20 months) sits on my lap. They have been to doctors and in changing rooms when shopping for clothes - I just try to be as quick as I can with anything. The logest I waited with the children was 2.5 hours at the tax place - I took loads of supplies and we sat on the floor and coloured and read and chatted and walked to and from the bathrooms endless times. They have been with me to get a new driver's licence and to home affairs. I try to make sure they have something to do, food to eat and something to drink and that they learn something while we are out. I also try if possible to have a field trip at a place close to where I have an errand so that they have something to look forward to.

 

Today I had a dentist appointment and this time I did have a babysitter, but I managed to burst my car tyre just out our gate and DH luckily had not left for work yet so we switched cars and he changed my tyre and took my car and waited for the babysitter to arrive. It got done.

 

My kids and I bake things some afternoons and they enjoy the time doing it and learn how to too.

 

Our church has a women's group for mothers with children so I used to go to that with my children and I am sure they would welcome homeschooled children as long as they could keep themselves busy during the Bible Study. At the moment however I am too busy with other things to fit it in.

 

My children have always come grocery shopping with me - if I need to we leave it til the weekend and DH comes too, but usually I manage alone with the children. We have had a number of comments from adults about how well behaved the children are.

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My youngest is five and we just started homeschooling 2 1/2 years ago. Both of my olders were in preschool and public school. I always had 1 or 2 kids with me to take somewhere. Reality is, I did it. Or, I swapped errand watching with a friend who had littles.

 

Now, we all go, or oldest might watch one or both of others. I don't get tons of time to myself but really haven't since becoming a mom. SO, for me the shift wasn't in losing time to myself when we homeschooled, it was about adjusting my schedule and learning to do things differently.

 

I will be honest and say my house has never been spotless and will never be unless DH hires a housekeeper for me. LOL Kids toys, games, etc. equals some clutter and I would rather live in that and be with my kids helping make those messes than always be picking pu things. (Now, you will never see me on hoarders, but you also wont' see me as a model for a Martha Stewart home. But, that would have been true kids or not, homeschool or not.)

 

Errands....when my littles were younger, DH would stay home with the kids one night a week and I would do errands, grocery shopping etc. Now, I do some of that at night, some in the day, or sometimes when I drop oldest off at soccer I run do that. It changes depending on how busy everything else is in our days.

 

This is the first year I have stepped out of bible studies outside of my hosue and it is hard. I miss that greatly. But, now having a 7th grader, a 3rd grader and a Kindergartener, I have to be home more and have less interuptions or schoolign doesn't all get done. Like someone else said, it is my career. it is my focus. And, this season will pass before I know it and I will miss my kids not being home.

 

I have a friend who has a teenager come in 2 times a month for a couple hours and she goes and does haircuts, errands, lunch with a friend. That is how she gets that time to herself. I was never good about leaving mine with someone else. I have had to learn how to do that, but now am getting to leave them with my oldest more. :)

 

Good luck in whatever you decide.

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...anything that is impossible to do with multiple young children in tow.

 

 

Unfortunately, I have discovered that pretty much anything can, and has been, done with multiple young children in tow. Is it easy or fun? No.

 

I would much rather sit in a waiting room reading trash magazines than wrangling toddlers and babies. I would have liked to not take all my kids to every OB and GYN appt, but I did it. I would like to not take all of them to haircuts and dental appts, but that's what I have always done.

 

Somethings about public school are very tempting....

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Homeschooling is a lifestyle, with some unique challenges and so many benefits that make those challenges worth it!! Obviously, for all of us here, the good things far outweigh the hard parts.

 

At our house, I give up most of my personal time in order to homeschool my kids. I try to take a few minutes in the morning to read, but otherwise I don't really have time to myself. I don't shop for clothing or get haircuts. I'm in the "ponytails and jeans" camp as well. I dress up for church or important events.

 

I take all the kids to dentist and doctor appointments. When I really can't bring all the kids, I schedule the earliest appointment of the day and my husband goes to work late.

 

My house would be spotless if I had my way, but if I have to choose between school and cleaning, school will always win. The kids are very involved in housework and I can accomplish quite a bit in short bursts between lessons. The house is not spotless and I often practice "selected neglect" when I need to, but it's usually mostly tidy.

 

The kids are involved in everything we do around here. No, they don't come home from school to a spotless house, drawers refilled, and a special treat waiting on the counter. Instead, they help me clean and do laundry (learning valuable lessons and life skills in the process), they study scripture with me during our daily devotional, and we all gather in the kitchen to make that special afternoon treat together.

 

Homeschooling has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's also the best and most rewarding lifestyle I could have chosen for myself. I know homeschooling isn't right for every family, but I also believe that every mom could homeschool if that's what she chose to do.

 

Good luck in your decision.

 

Melissa :)

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I'm with Maus; all the public-school SAHM's I know are killing themselves all day, just as much as we homeschoolers do.

 

Every single one that I know...

 

does something for extra income, whether cleaning houses, doing administrative work from home, tutoring, or child care...

volunteers at her kids' schools...

does the bulk of the volunteering at church...

might also be looking after elderly parents or grandparents...

homeschooling one of their children for whom ps is a disaster...

and basically afterschooling their ps kids to try to make up for the ps failure to teach basic math and English.

 

Nobody's watching the soaps and baking cookies anymore. Women are working, wherever they spend their day. Anybody baking cookies does that alongside their kids or while their kids sleep.

 

I prefer to spend my day doing what I believe to be best for my own family, and that is homeschooling.

 

I get the necessary housework done, but Susie Homemaker is not my identity. I would have loved that life, but I can embroider pillowcases and cook gourmet meals when my kids are grown. As it is, I snatch a few minutes on the weekends for housewifely creativity, and I do my necessary cooking and baking before and after our school day.

 

If I'm going to be involved in my kids' education (as all parents must be, these days) then I'd rather follow my own agenda than the local school's agenda. If I'm going to spend three hours per night on homework with my child, I want to believe the lessons are beneficial and I want to understand the objectives. Presiding over several hours' homework in Everyday Math would have me tearing out my hair. Homeschool math makes sense to children and to parents.

 

I'd like to attend ladies' Bible studies and teach Sunday school, but I can do neither in this stage of my life. I listen to podcasts and participate in Bible studies online when I get a chance, but I try to remember that this time of my life is a phase. It's a quarter century long in my case, which is a long phase, but still, I went to ladies' Bible study and taught Sunday school for a dozen years before homeschooling my own children, and if I live the normal life span I will have 20 or 30 years left to work in the church after my last child graduates from my homeschool. My family is my ministry. I also have causes and people that I feel responsible for as a Christian, but modern-era formal church work is not possible for me right now.

 

Shopping...not even on the radar. Food, clothing, and shelter for my family are taking all the resources we have, and we're going for plain, solid stuff in all three categories. Nobody here is stylish; nobody here is going for fittings at the mall boutiques. There is a recession on for most of us.

 

If June Cleaver exists, she is probably dying from isolation and depression. Nobody else is free for bridge. The Beaver doesn't have anybody to play with after school because they are all in after-school activities and sports or else playing video games. We're in a different era now, and one way or another Mom is usually working. Homeschool Moms at least work on their own terms.

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