Neighborhood kids damage our property--ugg!

[Moxie]

Two of the neighborhood kids were given BB guns by an older gentleman in our neighborhood. These kids are "friends" of my kids--they are the only kids in the neighborhood so they play here every day after school. They are kind of ornery punks but I keep an eye on them and they usually shape up. Neither kids have parents that are worth a darn.

 

Today, DH found BB holes in our garage on the side of the older gentleman's house (the boys play in his yard and take the guns all over the neighborhood). There are also holes in the garage behind us. DH was ANGRY to put it mildly. He went over and told the older gentleman that they can't have the guns anymore. He said he would take the guns. The boys lied over and over about doing it.

 

What would you do next? File a police report? Talk to the worthless parents? Would you allow the boys at your home anymore?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I don't understand people. Why in the heck would he give kids BB guns? Disclaimer: I am NOT a gun person, so I don't get why anyone would want a gun except for hunting.

 

I'd file a police report.

[QueenCat]

I would file a police report. I would NOT forcibly take the bb guns from the boys. Your husband could end up with assault charges pressed against him if he did that. Dh had a friend remove a baseball bat from a child's hand, who was getting ready to whack friend's kid. Dh's friend was arrested & charged. He was allowed to plead nolo (attorney felt it was too risky to go to trial), and given a stern warning.....

 

Edit: I would only file the police report if the kids parents would not take responsibility for the damage.

Edited November 11, 2012 by CathieC

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't understand why you or your dh wouldn't talk to the parents first. The older gentleman might have given the boys a gift, but the parents are the ones responsible for their children. I would be irate if someone had a problem with something my kids did and didn't come to me first.

 

I also don't think this damage was deliberate. Kids make mistakes. They probably did not understand that the BB's would actually damage your garage. The kids lied because they were scared.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Import some new friends for your kids. You can do better. Way better.

 

I would do an exit interview with the other kids and their parents, explain tooth and nail the reasons why. And at the end, a very clear directive to stay away forever.

 

It doesn't need to hostile or accelerated, but it does need to be clear and everyone on the same page.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Talk to the parents. It doesn't matter if you think they are worth nothing as human beings or whatever, you should tell them what their kids did because they might actually want the chance to make it right.

 

I mean, how do you know we're not worthless parents answering you? Yet you'll talk to us when you won't talk to your own neighbors? Talk to the parents. Talk to the people who aren't worth a darn and whose kids are ornery punks, but try not to let that judgment come through during the conversation or resolution might be a little harder to achieve.

 

If that fails, file a police report.

[Moxie]

Answering some of the above posts-

 

I have no idea why the old man gave two 11 year olds guns. We live in a neighborhood with yards the size of postage stamps. The old man told DH "the boys promised me they wouldn't shoot anything". Guess he thought they would wave them around??

 

DH didn't take the guns but he did tell the old man that he (the old man) shouldn't give them the guns anymore.

 

Their parents--we've lived here for 10 years. We know these people. You're going to have to trust me when I tell you that the parents will not care unless we sue them (we won't). I still feel like we should talk to them but DH doesn't want to deal with it.

 

The damage was deliberate--they weren't being mean but they did do it on purpose. There are about 15 small holes in our garage and about 30 in the garage behind us--they had to see that they were making holes. I suspect the holes happened over several days. Plus, we saw them sitting in the neighbors yard and pointing at our garage after they shot so they knew they did damage.

 

Here is what I'm thinking--these kids are on the verge of becoming real problems (both have older siblings who are in trouble with the law on a regular basis). We know the neighborhood cop. We are thinking about sending him an email explaining that we aren't going to press charges but we do want the boys to know, from an authority figure, that what they did was wrong. We're on the verge of moving and we have no intention of putting new siding on the garage. I'm trying to think what would be best for the boys. I'm also not sure what to do tomorrow when the boys knock on the door to play. I think I'm going to demand that they admit what they did and apologize. DH says they need to be banned from the property. Not sure what that would accomplish.

[Firestar Academy]

I don't understand people. Why in the heck would he give kids BB guns? Disclaimer: I am NOT a gun person, so I don't get why anyone would want a gun except for hunting.

 

I'd file a police report.

 

this.

 

robin

[gardenmom5]

I don't have a problem with guns - BUT (and that's a BIG but) - they need to learn there are serious rules and responsilibities that go along with gun use and ownership.

 

I'd file a police report. You'd be doing them a favor in the long run.

.

eta: along with taking the guns away, is there a way they can be made to do repairs? that would help get through to them that if they cause damage, SOMEONE has to "fix" it.

 

did the old man explain RULES about guns to them? or just hand the guns over? (frankly, if he just handed them over, I'd consider having him cough up some of the money for the repairs that the boys do themselves. even if those 'repairs' are wood filler and paint. oh yeah, and since you can't just 'paint' a spot, they'll have to paint the whole backside of teh garage. have fun boys.)

Edited November 12, 2012 by gardenmom5

[Elizabeth in MN]

I can see an older gentleman giving BB guns to boys - it was common practice in the 1950s. He may have fond memories of life with his BB gun and was reliving a good past, and maybe hoping to be a good influence on the boys.

 

I disagree with your decision to not file a police report. These kids need early intervention, and your report may be what get it for them. But you do know the situation best.

[creekland]

Since you're certain the parents won't do anything, I'd file a police report and see if you can get the boys to fix their damage (including having their families pay for it).

 

They need to learn NOW that there are consequences. Having their misdeeds swept under the carpet or merely being banned from somewhere will only teach them that they can get away with things - not a great lesson. Obviously, their parents aren't teaching them these things, so others need to step up and do it. Knowing what they did was wrong (shooting things) does not come naturally to most young boys. Working to fix what they did will teach a good lesson.