Told my mum about the baby. Sigh, name issues

[Stayseeliz]

My MIL pulled that when I was pg with DD8. I told DH is she said one more word about it she wasn't welcome at the hospital when the baby was born. She never said another word. So sorry about this! That is heartbreacking! :(

[ereks mom]

My son is named Sean and gets called Seen.

 

Back in the early 70s I used to babysit a boy named Sean, and his parents pronounced it "Seen".

 

Oh, and I really like the name Persephone. :)

 

Me too. :001_smile:

[Laurie4b]

I think under normal circumstances that if a close family member really had a strong aversion to a name, I might reconsider.

 

But this doesn't sound like normal circumstances.

[elfgivas]

i try really hard to give them a name from their background, and a name that is their own. (ie. not a family name). we add in that it must sound nice and have good connotations in english and french, and culturally in Canada and wherever they will be living as young children. and then, it has to mean something that is a characteristic i would really want one of my children to have.

 

it takes us a bit of time to choose names. ;)

 

so each child has a family name/heritage name, and a name chosen just for them that may have come from a friend....

 

i really wanted to call dd #3 Fiona, but dh thought that in SoCal, that wasn't a great choice. he said he kept asking himself if he would ever have dated someone named fiona. :lol:. so we chose something else, and it suits her beautifully. had we still been living in canada or the UK, fiona it would have been.

 

but it was my dh with the concern, who is loving, rational and kind, not my dmil who isn't, kwim?

 

if this dd will be growing up in australia, naming her sheila wouldn't be so kind, for example ...... so i'd pay particular attention to what my aussie friends had to say about my choice for the name she would most often be called.

 

:grouphug: its a journey.

ann

[WishboneDawn]

I would consider changing it if the strong reaction came from someone who was generally an even keel sort of person. With your mom's history however I'd just tell her to get over it. Sounds like she enjoys the drama?

[besroma]

:iagree: , too.

 

I think you are wise to listen to counsel of older people, though. Run it by a few older people whom you trust and look up to. Talk to a few people with unusual names.

 

To see what your dd may go through, introduce yourself to a stranger as Persephone and see what their first reaction is.

 

BTW, we never told anyone the baby names before they met the baby because I didn't want such a strong reaction. Everyone has an opinion.... :I

 

I think it's a very pretty name. However, she is going to have to spell it almost every time she tells it to someone, many people won't know how to pronounce it when they read it, and because it's so uncommon some people will simply forget what it is (and call her "Stephanie"). Add that to a hyphenated family name, which she will also need to spell for people, and it seems like a lot of name stress for one person. Were there any other names you liked that might simplify things a bit for her?

 

:iagree:

[Scarlett]

For what it's worth, I think Persephone is a beautiful name.

 

ETA: Our 6th was born when we lived in Australia and I didn't even bother telling my mother I was pregnant until a few days after he was born!

 

:001_huh:

[Scarlett]

I would consider changing it if the strong reaction came from someone who was generally an even keel sort of person. With your mom's history however I'd just tell her to get over it. Sounds like she enjoys the drama?

 

:iagree:

 

My mother had a strong reaction/dislike to one name....I won't name it because honestly it is a perfectly lovely name. :D But for some reason my mother hates it. She practically spits when she says the name. I would have never used that name. But she was very happy and agreeable about every other choice so I found her to be generally reasonable.

[suzielou]

Wow! I thought I had it bad with my mother-in-law, but never to that extreme. I named my oldest a name that pleased them and while I like the name, it wasn't my first choice and I will always live with that. The second child was also named something that I wasn't overly thrilled with. I wanted Kaylee, my husband wanted Emily (which was the name of my ex-fiance's mother). I call her Mimi, instead. When they protested my 3rd's name, I said that I didn't care who in the family was a horrible person with that name, my kid was having it and they would just have to deal with it. They wanted me to name him Domingo. I went with Dominic Justice (they didn't like Justice, either, but it is a family name). The 4th came and when told of the news, their response was "OH, I had hoped we would have our next grandchild by our other son." I am so sorry I spoiled their plans. They didn't care for his name, either. We were never asked to abort, but my husband was constantly being asked to go "get snipped." When we announced the 5th, they kept their mouths shut. When we lost the 5th, they kept their mouths shut. :D Over all, it impacts my relationship with my mother-in-law. I constantly feel like my kids and I aren't good enough for her. I asked my mother in law with number 4 what she would name her, since she didn't like my names. She told me that she always like Maria LaDora if she had had a girl. That wasn't happening and then the she turned into a he before the next ultrasound. We decided that since she didn't like any of the names we were thinking of, we would wait to tell her the name until he was already named at the hospital. She wanted us to name him George, we went with Eliot. Persephone is a beautiful name. So what if she has to spell it? My name is Suellen and I always have to spell that. My nickname is Suzie and I am asked is that with a "z" or an "s"? And they always stick a "y" on it, instead of the "ie". I finally just went back to Suellen and deal with the spelling/mispronunciations. With all the new ways to spell names, I have to spell all of my kids names for people, even Emily.

[Impish]

My mother went nuts when I told her Diva's name. Told me it sounded 'like a farmer's daughter!" :001_huh: I have no idea wth that's about, but to her, it was a grave insult.

 

Tazzie, she freaked again. Told me it sounded like a donkey. I'm talking yelling, screaming on the phone.

 

Then she complained, bitterly, when my 2 younger brothers refused to reveal their sons' names beofre they were born. Gee, wonder why :glare:

 

My mother also wanted me to abort Diva.

 

I'm so glad I don't have to deal w/her this go 'round.

 

It's YOUR baby. Name her whatever you please.

 

(w/my mother, I don't think it was about the actual *name* as it was about HER not getting a vote in it. For some bizarre reason, she thought she should get a say, had a whole list of names prepped. She's also denied freaking out over my kids names. Never happened. uh huh...)

[magnificent_baby]

If my mom had told me to get rid of my children, call one "that one" & then react like this about the name - she'd seriously not be in my life anymore...or at the very least contact would be severely limited.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

If my Mom reacted to my children like that, I wouldn't be talking to her anymore, let alone worried about what she thinks of my naming choices. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I think her reaction to your children is awful. :grouphug:

 

Name her what you want and don't think twice about her opinions.

[aggie96]

:grouphug: Persephone is a great name. You don't have to justify your parenting choices to anyone. I'm so sorry your mom acted irrationally. :grouphug:

 

I agree! And for what it's worth, I named one of my fur babies Persephone, and we called her Percy. I LOVE that name! :grouphug:

 

ETA: My name is Amy, and my last name is very hard to pronounce and spell for the general public. I actually have to spell Amy just as much as my last name given the "hundreds" of spellings for Amy. :)

Edited November 9, 2012 by aggie96

[ashfern]

:grouphug: I think it's a great name. I learned with my first child not to tell anyone our name choices. My SIL actually said that our name choice for a girl was "stupid". I told her that it was my grandmother's name & I did use it for my 2nd child. :tongue_smilie:

[SKL]

My parents must know I'm strong-willed, because they did not say a word (judgmentally) when I told them what I was naming my kids. And one of the names was made up and has 4 syllables.

 

My kids' spellings are very simple and yet nobody gets them right.

[Desert Rat]

Tell her you've changed your mind and you're going to call her Skippy.

 

:iagree: Good one, Rosie.

 

My MIL hated our ds9's name. But, she also didn't speak to me for 2 weeks when I told her I was having another boy. She didn't get a say.

[Impish]

Oh, and my MIL didn't throw the hissy my mother did...she did let us know how hurt she was that Princess wasn't named after her (this is the woman that tells you how much she HATES her name) and that neither boy was named after her deceased dh.

 

Her 1sts dh died over 20 yrs before Wolf was born. :001_huh: She was very upset w/us that we gave Boo Wolf's grandfather's name as a middle, rather than her 1st dh. That Wolf knew and loved his grandfather, was sitting by his bed when he passed...that didn't matter, we should have used the name of a man Wolf never knew instead, b/c MIL was married to him, and never met Wolf's grandfather.

 

I have no idea why naming children brings out the crazy in some folks, but it does.

 

Heaven help us this go 'round. :tongue_smilie:

[DawnM]

We learned with #1 that we DO NOT announce the name until the baby is born and legally named and all is said and done!

 

I don't CARE what you think of the name we picked. And DH's mother was quick to tell us her thoughts! :glare:

 

Dawn

[Parrothead]

 

Heaven help us this go 'round. :tongue_smilie:

I still say there ought to be a way you can name it after me. :lol:

 

 

(Never mind. There is no way I'd want some poor kid saddled with either my first name or my middle name.:glare:)

[kitten18]

I love Persephone, very pretty.

 

 

I don't know that having to spell her name for people every time should keep her from naming her daughter Persephone. I constantly have to spell my name for people, and it's... Sara. I've been called Tara, Kara, and Shelly. :confused: My son is named Sean and gets called Seen. My dh's name is as common as it gets and people call him some totally other common name. Yes, Persephone will be called Stephanie. However, Jenna will get also called Jenny and Emma and Gina, and Frank will also get called Fred.

 

I agree. I always have to spell A.M.Y. for people. Our last name is simple, 2 syllables, and the name of a town in CA. I still have to ALWAYS spell it.

My sister's name is Beth, she says people often call her Pat.

 

 

My mom wasn't nearly so extreme in her dislike of the names we chose (and she certainly didn't ask me to abort her grandchildren!), but she did express initial displeasure. What was weird is that instead of the normal, biblical name we chose for our older one, she suggested Angus and then Thor. Seriously. For the younger one (who has another normal, biblical name), she suggested a name almost identical (first three letters the same, last three different). Weird.

:lol: That made me laugh so hard.

[Jerico]

we never shared any names before our babies were born. sorry about your mum.

[Liz CA]

:grouphug: Persephone is a great name. You don't have to justify your parenting choices to anyone. I'm so sorry your mom acted irrationally. :grouphug:

 

This. You are an adult and your choices are yours. Congratulations. Please post pics when Persephone arrives. :001_smile:

[Impish]

I still say there ought to be a way you can name it after me. :lol:

 

 

(Never mind. There is no way I'd want some poor kid saddled with either my first name or my middle name.:glare:)

:lol:

[kroe1]

Yes, I would listen to my mother. She taught me that all names should be 5 letters or less and should have only one spelling. Thankfully, myself or none of my kids have ever had a misspelling or had to spell out their names. It makes life much easier and saves several minutes per day for those in high profile careers.

 

But that's just one person's opinion. The fun part about having kiddos is picking out their names.

 

:)

[Ellesmere]

Agreeing that if the relationship is troubled or the person is rude, the opinion doesn't get much weight.

 

I do think the "your baby, your choice of name" can sometimes have limits, especially when it is nothing personal but just sensible advice. I know someone who moved abroad and was sincerely advised by just about everyone in their new country about their choice of baby name for the one born most recently after the move. They realized their new friends were right and went with another name even though they'd been firm on their choice because the name had a really terrible meaning in their new country.

 

And we did take a name out of consideration (easier to do when we merely loved it, but had ten others on the list we liked as much) out of respect for the several close family members who had terrible memories of a late relative that shared the name. The relative had died twenty years before I was born and I just didn't realize how much she'd hurt people I am close to. So we crossed her name off the list. But really, my mom only said something because I asked directly, which is different than giving unsolicited, "I hate that name" comments.

 

I do think Persephone is lovely. I have a short top ten name, and as others have mentioned, I have to spell it every time.

[SnowWhite]

Given your mother's horrifying history of nastiness toward your pregnancies and names, I'd ignore her.

 

My MIL and her mother threw a hissy fit over the name we had chosen for Gabriel (we wanted to call him Peter Jude), and because they are reasonable people and love our children to distraction we took their input to heart and came up with another name. There is NO WAY I would have considered input from someone who had ever DARED to suggest an abortion to me or who was unkind to my other children (IE refusing to call them by their names).

[mamajudy]

If my mom had told me to get rid of my children, call one "that one" & then react like this about the name - she'd seriously not be in my life anymore...or at the very least contact would be severely limited.

 

:iagree: To be blunt, it's none of her business. It's your child, not hers. And Persephone is a lovely name.:)

[Guest submarines]

If your mother was normally supportive and rational I MIGHT take her feelings into consideration. But she sounds a bit um...unstable regarding your family and I wouldn't give it another thought. If it wasn't the name it would be something else.

 

Besides, I love that name, and the myth has always spoken to me as well. Good job picking it!

 

:iagree:

[SonshineLearner]

Wow, well, that's why when you're using a name that is difficult, usually you don't tell someone till after. On the other hand, I think it's an incredibly beautiful name for a mythical person, but wouldn't saddle my child with it. And Percy... well, it's a train. I think you should do the thing where you watch other's face when you announce that "your name". I think that often times friends are too kind to tell us what they think. I imagine your mom is thinking of the embarrassment that will come when she tells her friends what you named her granddaughter. Perhaps I'm odd, but I wanted my parents to like their grandchildren's names. Everyone is right when they remind you that it's your daughter and your decision, but it's also correct that there are others to consider, including your daughter who will bear the name. I understand yours is a common name, but this is really quite a swing to the other side. Just a thought... I knew someone who named their child a very old German name that is thought of as quite odd. While it was a beloved Auntie the child was named after... it was the ugly name out of the family. How sad for the child... They nick named her "goo-goo" for years, as a nickname to it. (which was perhaps worse) So, all of us can say "beautiful" or "horrendous" but what really matters is what your child will feel. That's not something we'll know.

[Shellydon]

Yes, I would consider changing it.

[Susan in TN]

:grouphug:

 

Today I hate most people, and your mum is about #4 on my list. So let me be mad and hurt for you while I'm at it. :D

 

Congratulations on your baby. She's going to be precious and beautiful and I hope your mum will get over herself some day.

[kitten18]

Wow, well, that's why when you're using a name that is difficult, usually you don't tell someone till after. On the other hand, I think it's an incredibly beautiful name for a mythical person, but wouldn't saddle my child with it. And Percy... well, it's a train. I think you should do the thing where you watch other's face when you announce that "your name". I think that often times friends are too kind to tell us what they think. I imagine your mom is thinking of the embarrassment that will come when she tells her friends what you named her granddaughter. Perhaps I'm odd, but I wanted my parents to like their grandchildren's names. Everyone is right when they remind you that it's your daughter and your decision, but it's also correct that there are others to consider, including your daughter who will bear the name. I understand yours is a common name, but this is really quite a swing to the other side. Just a thought... I knew someone who named their child a very old German name that is thought of as quite odd. While it was a beloved Auntie the child was named after... it was the ugly name out of the family. How sad for the child... They nick named her "goo-goo" for years, as a nickname to it. (which was perhaps worse) So, all of us can say "beautiful" or "horrendous" but what really matters is what your child will feel. That's not something we'll know.

The OP stated that her other daughters have names from mythology too so this is not exactly new territory for her.

[SonshineLearner]

The OP stated that her other daughters have names from mythology too so this is not exactly new territory for her.

I had thought she said they were more "mainstream".... And the other children have very "mainstream" middle namess.... (from the other thread where she was asking for middle names....) Edited November 9, 2012 by NayfiesMama

[Bearcat]

I think it is a beautiful name. So much better than having the same name as every other child on the street.

 

Frankly, I have never understood why parents seek the approval of other family members for names. My SIL is like that. She wanted to name one of her boys a name that her mom and sisters did not like so she changed his name. :confused:

My sister has a whole slew of unconventional names for her children (she has a daughter named Jason but with a different spelling for example.) While she got lots of comments (even some from me-I was not always as enlightened as I am now) she did not give a fig and used the names she wanted. None of her kids have had any problems (including the girl named Jason.) Is it really the end of the world if you have to spell your name for people more often than someone named Anne? (Heck! Even that name has multiple spellings!) My name is misspelled all the time. Somehow I still manage. I know they are not deliberately misspelling it so I see no need to get bent out of shape about it. Most of the time I don't bother correcting them.

 

We have never told anyone the names of our children until they were born. You get less crazy reactions that way. My brother did make a crack about my youngest son's name when he heard it but I just rolled my eyes and told him to grow up. :tongue_smilie:

[Homeschooling Again]

I'm am confused as to why anyone wouldn't like the name Persephone. It's so lyrical, it always makes me think of pink chiffon.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I looked up the connotation of Percy in Australian slang. It refers to a male body part. If you live there, you might not want to use that nickname.

[Mommy to monkeys]

Beautiful name!

Your mum is way out of line.

[Rosie_0801]

Well, now I need to know why.....is there some thing wth "Percy" that I don't know about?

 

I would say there is. Google "Percy Australian slang." It's a free country ;) but it is good to make an informed choice, yes?

 

Rosie

[Joanne]

Your mom has issues. I think the clinical term is coco-for-coco-puffs.

 

While I have empathy for pathology, people with untreated coco-for-coco-puffs are not my go-to place for wisdom and feedback.

[kitten18]

Your mom has issues. I think the clinical term is coco-for-coco-puffs.

 

While I have empathy for pathology, people with untreated coco-for-coco-puffs are not my go-to place for wisdom and feedback.

:lol::lol::lol:

[countrygal]

It sounds like your mother's problem. She wouldn't be happy no matter what name you picked. Too common, too odd, too old, too trendy. Whatever. Your child. We never told anyone what we were naming the baby until he/she was born and it was already decided. I think you should just not try to talk to her anymore. If she cares to have you and her grandchildren in her life, she can choose so. And she can choose to be kind. If she can't do that, her loss. I know it probably bothers you a lot. Some people feed into drama and have negative personalities. Her negative behavior is her choice and only she can choose to change it. This is just the avenue she has chosen to take her anger out on. :grouphug:

[El...]

Persephone is a beautiful name. What a strong, creative person she was in the Odyssey! I don't know what to say about your mom's feelings. I'm sorry this is so stressful.

 

I always like to run our name choices (and the likely nicknames) through a google search, and by a sharp 6th grader, just in case. :tongue_smilie:

[Matryoshka]

Persephone is a beautiful name. What a strong, creative person she was in the Odyssey! I don't know what to say about your mom's feelings. I'm sorry this is so stressful.

 

Except I think you're thinking of Penelope (Odysseus' wife)... ;) Persephone is queen of the underworld (Hades' wife, daughter of Demeter, the cause of the four seasons).

 

OP, name your dd whatever you want. :)

[El...]

Oh. You are so right. Good grief. :o It is still a beautiful name.

 

(Going to start re-reading my classics, obviously...)

[JeneralMom]

My mum asked outright so I made the mistake of telling her. We didn't tell her the other girls' names before they were born....I just had a weak moment because she didn't react negatively to the news.

 

Other kids are Spencer, Xavier (after Charles Xavier per DH's choice), Cordelia (after King Lear and also Anne of Green Gables) and Lorelei (after the Germany folktale/myth). Middle names so far have been William, Alexander, Martin, Edward, Elizabeth, Ann, Rebecca and Mary.

 

Darn it why is Percy a dirty slang! Argh. DH wanted Sephe (pronounced like Sefie) as the nickname, but I have always been stuck on the name Percy. Where I grew up there are 4 distinct seasons and I always used to think "well, Demeter is sad because Persephone has to go back to Hades, but I love autumn and winter."

[ChristineW]

Just looked up Percy in the online slang dictionary--I couldn't do that to a girl. Sorry. Love the other names of your children though.

 

Christine

[Matryoshka]

Other kids are Spencer, Xavier (after Charles Xavier per DH's choice), Cordelia (after King Lear and also Anne of Green Gables) and Lorelei (after the Germany folktale/myth). Middle names so far have been William, Alexander, Martin, Edward, Elizabeth, Ann, Rebecca and Mary.

 

Darn it why is Percy a dirty slang! Argh. DH wanted Sephe (pronounced like Sefie) as the nickname, but I have always been stuck on the name Percy. Where I grew up there are 4 distinct seasons and I always used to think "well, Demeter is sad because Persephone has to go back to Hades, but I love autumn and winter."

 

I just realized you actually live in Australia, so you'd have to worry about that (I was first thinking, who cares what it means in Australia?? :tongue_smilie:)

 

Hey, a pp got them mixed up, but y'know, Penelope is a nice name too and would go with the other names...

[mytwomonkeys]

:grouphug: Persephone is a great name. You don't have to justify your parenting choices to anyone. I'm so sorry your mom acted irrationally. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: it has nothing to do with your mom! not her call to make. i'm so sorry this is even stressful for you when it shouldn't be at all!!:grouphug:

[mytwomonkeys]

My mum asked outright so I made the mistake of telling her. We didn't tell her the other girls' names before they were born....I just had a weak moment because she didn't react negatively to the news.

 

Other kids are Spencer, Xavier (after Charles Xavier per DH's choice), Cordelia (after King Lear and also Anne of Green Gables) and Lorelei (after the Germany folktale/myth). Middle names so far have been William, Alexander, Martin, Edward, Elizabeth, Ann, Rebecca and Mary.

 

Darn it why is Percy a dirty slang! Argh. DH wanted Sephe (pronounced like Sefie) as the nickname, but I have always been stuck on the name Percy. Where I grew up there are 4 distinct seasons and I always used to think "well, Demeter is sad because Persephone has to go back to Hades, but I love autumn and winter."

 

oh, i love the name lorelei!!! it is a fabulous song by the cocteau twins too & it makes me happy:D

[JeneralMom]

I wonder if it a regional thing, because I asked several people here in Western Aus if percy meant anything in slang and they all looked at me weird and said "no, why?"

[Pod's mum]

I only know of one Persephone, an amazing young woman who is currently studying Law.

She is as uncommon as her name.

My eldest named a doll Persephone when quite young.

We found that funny as it made her the Demeta (she was prone to going into rages at that age).

 

I'll link to an absolutely beautiful song "Proserpina Come Home", Proserpine is Roman for Persephone.

 

The story behind this song is also beautiful.

 

I'm another supporter of uncommon classical names.

My name was very common in the decade I was born.

Congrats.