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I'm all for being healthy, but


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I think the problem is less in what people are trying to do and more in that they are giving unsolicited advice. It is one thing for you to ask, but if you aren't asking...and this is coming from a whole foods believer. I would just let it roll to be honest.

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My dd use to have seizures. I would get those suggestions occasionally, too. The :001_huh: one was from a stranger who struck up a conversation with me. She suggested a certain type of supplement, and, oh by the way, I am an authorized distributor. You can buy them from me! Yeah, right.

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I understand what you mean. Someone on Facebook suggested Hallelujah Acres for my benign tumor in my sinuses. I guess raw foods are going to make a tumor dissolve. :confused: When I told them I was familiar because a family member had been there and it didn't help them, the person actually had the audacity to say they were sorry but the program had to be followed fully. My family member followed it exactly and is very careful to do that when trying something new to help my nephew (severe epilepsy called Dravet syndrome, mitochondrial disease, and celiac). Hallelujah Acres must really be brainwashing people to believe that it is going to help every person and every situation.

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it is really aggravating when people suggest to you that your child with Type 1 diabetes, or your child with seizures could be cured by eating whole foods and taking supplements. ARGH!!

 

Vent over, carry on...

 

Vent away!

 

People really and truly need to learn when to keep their mouths shut. Just because they think they might have possibly, maybe, sort of seen something about it on Dr. Oz once, that really doesn't qualify them as authorities in the field. :glare:

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I know how frustrating that is.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

But I'm going to do it any way. :D

 

Were they by any chance talking about a ketogenic diet? There is actually good evidence that it can dramatically help some people with seizures.

 

Lol, no, they were talking about eating organic stuff, and using supplements. We've actually looked into the ketogenic diet for our guy with seizures. :D

 

The diabetes comments happen a lot more often & you know, diabetes is a 24/7 thing to manage & for someone to suggest that you could easily fix it by eating whole foods is just frustrating.

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So true. :glare: I was told by two people that if I just fed my son right, then he would not need chemo for his leukemia. Let's see, 96% survival rate with chemo, crap shoot with eating well (FTR he ate organic his whole life) and taking supplements. If it were that easy doctors would be pushing it. Most doctors do not want to watch people suffer if there are good treatments out there. Some people are annoying.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My sister's kids both share the same genetic disease that has caused them to have growth hormone deficiencies leading to bone and organ issues (twisted limbs, heart and liver abnormalities, pulmonary issues from lungs far too large for the rib cage). We have a family member who insists that if they ate a whole foods diet they could drop the hormone supplements they are obviously using just so they "don't have short kids." My poor sister. I know people mean well, but they don't think these things through.

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You forgot the "If you only believed more/prayed more your child would be cured" line.

 

it is really aggravating when people suggest to you that your child with Type 1 diabetes, or your child with seizures could be cured by eating whole foods and taking supplements. ARGH!!

 

Vent over, carry on...

 

No no no you are both wrong. your child will be cured of all that ails them if only they went to ps and were properly socialized.

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Oh wow. I'm a very non-confrontational person, but I don't know how I would handle it if someone said that to me!

 

I've had people say that to me regarding other things. :tongue_smilie: "have you read job lately?" :glare:

 

eta: as for the diabetes thing, could they be confusing type 1 and type 2? my pharmD dd had to interview a diabetic - she jumped at the chance to interview a type 1 becasue "type 2 is so common" (and can be diet related).

Edited by gardenmom5
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I do understand it is annoying; however, I think I'd rather think of people as simply trying to help. They probably think, as I would, "If there is something that would help, or better cure<!>, I'd want to know!" so they share a little too quickly, bluntly, forcefully, etc.

 

But when you've SEEN diabetes (even type 1) cured? that is pretty powerful! How could you NOT share that? Or when you have been given back your life by having a certain treatment done, how do you NOT shout that from the mountain top? Between my son, daughter, and I, we have three such situations. If given the opportunity, I will share our experience. What people do past that is up to them. But if my nephew was struggling with one of these three issues, I wouldn't dare NOT share with my sil!

 

One poster has put down a certain natural remedy several times though my understanding is she's never tried it with her daughter. She always has the tone/attitude of the posts in this thread. It amazes me she can be so ugly about it when 1) people were just trying to help and 2) she didn't try it though it HAS helped MANY people with such issues that her child has! Will it help her daughter? maybe not. Is there a reason to be ugly about someone suggesting it as a help for a child in need? Not imo.

 

I understand it can be frustrating to have advice from all directions. And yet, if someone says just the right thing to you and it worked out? Wouldn't you be thankful they spoke up (as long as they were respectful, of course)? Could you look at each suggestion in the best light?

Edited by 2J5M9K
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Oh yeah. I heard this from the librarian when I requested books on living with someone who has borderline personality disorder. She told my praying would help a lot more than reading books would.

:001_huh::svengo:

 

well. we know *she* hasn't got any uber close relatives she is forced into frequent and close promiximity with who have a personality disorder.

 

praying can help give you the strength and peace of mind to utilize the stratigies you learn from reading the book. (and determining which will be most effective in your situation.)

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I do understand it is annoying; however, I think I'd rather think of people as simply trying to help. They probably think, as I would, "If there is something that would help, or better cure<!>, I'd want to know!" so they share a little too quickly, bluntly, forcefully, etc.

 

But when you've SEEN diabetes (even type 1) cured? that is pretty powerful! How could you NOT share that? Or when you have been given back your life by having a certain treatment done, how do you NOT shout that from the mountain top? Between my son, daughter, and I, we have three such situations. If given the opportunity, I will share our experience. What people do past that is up to them. But if my nephew was struggling with one of these three issues, I wouldn't dare NOT share with my sil!

 

One poster has put down a certain natural remedy several times though my understanding is she's never tried it with her daughter. She always has the tone/attitude of the posts in this thread. It amazes me she can be so ugly about it when 1) people were just trying to help and 2) she didn't try it though it HAS helped MANY people with such issues that her child has! Will it help her daughter? maybe not. Is there a reason to be ugly about someone suggesting it as a help for a child in need? Not imo.

 

I understand it can be frustrating to have advice from all directions. And yet, if someone says just the right thing to you and it worked out? Wouldn't you be thankful they spoke up (as long as they were respectful, of course)? Could you look at each suggestion in the best light?

 

I think there's a big difference between the opinion of someone who has actually experienced results with a particular treatment and who can provide concrete information, and someone who is just talking off the top of their head, with no evidence and no personal experience.

 

If I had a medical condition and it was the same thing you'd had, I would absolutely listen to someone like you, because you've been there, and you have real experience. What worked for you may end up not working for me, but you can bet I'd be happy to buy you lunch and talk about it, and I would try to get every last detail from you. But most people make it up as they go along, or they saw Dr Phil or Dr Oz talk about it once, or they read an article on the internet. That's totally different.

 

My feeling is that if you have REAL information to pass along, that's great, but if you just want to be a know-it-all, well... don't.

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When I have had it told to me about various issues with my dc, it wasn't coming from a place of, "This worked wonders for XYZ and maybe it can help you, too!" It was more like parenting advice from childless people. :glare: With an overtone of superiority and slight indications of failure and laziness on my part...

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I am a herbalist and a midwife. I talk to people all the time about their health problems. One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody calls me about somebody else's health problem then asks me to call them and tell them what to do for it. Um no, if so and so wants to know what I think about their health problem they can call me. Other wise no matter how badly I think I can help them I keep my mouth

SHUT! It is not my place to offer advice unless asked for it.

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You missed my thread from earlier this year.....my 'friend' (whose home is dirtier than mine and more cluttered and who has a yard sale and then lugs everything that doesn't sell back into her house) emailed me with the idea that I might not have fibromyalgia if I got rid of my dogs and kept my house cleaner. :confused:

 

At church last Sun I also learned that my Dd may have ADD b/c I had her vaccinated. (That inspired a long thread, which I don't care to revisit.)

 

ETA: Forgot to say---vent away, I get it!

Edited by shanvan
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We got a "my mom cured her diabetes by going for a walk every day" last week - while we were watching DS play basketball. :glare:

 

Somebody doesn't know the difference between type 1 and type 2.

 

 

I was told by a mom in co-op that a friend of hers had celiac disease and she took a homeopathic spray and now she's cured and can eat gluten again. She asked if I wanted the info for the spray. Nah, no thanks.

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I have a friend whose did cure her son's seizures and reduce the size of his brain tumour, with a very strict diet (it may have been the ketogenic one) but it was long and difficult and she would never just give the casual advice to cure your kid with diet. She actually doesn't even talk about it unless you bring it up with her.

 

I get nutritional advice all the time, especially when I have to mention that DD is gluten free. I get comments like "oh trying the new fad diet" or things like that. I don't care to discuss my Coeliac status or that of my children with strangers but it does irk me when people give unsolicited advice.

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I have a child with two chronic health conditions. I can't count the number of times I have been told that if we took her off all medications, her body would heal itself of the "toxins" and she'd be fine.

 

Um, no, she'd be dead.

 

Interesting that I don't hear that very much about my child with the more mild chronic illness.

 

Tara

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it is really aggravating when people suggest to you that your child with Type 1 diabetes, or your child with seizures could be cured by eating whole foods and taking supplements. ARGH!!

 

Vent over, carry on...

 

:grouphug:

 

I get that with my dd's diagnoses, and a LOT of crap with my husband's issues.

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The diabetes comments happen a lot more often & you know, diabetes is a 24/7 thing to manage & for someone to suggest that you could easily fix it by eating whole foods is just frustrating.

 

I think people often confuse type 1 & type 2. My dh is type 1 and has actually had amazing improvement since cutting out gluten. But cured? Hilarious. That's not how it works! Hopefully I'm not one of these annoying people you're talking about. Between my dh's success and my dd's profound Hashimoto's improvement from going gf, I'm like a walking ad. I try not to be annoying, but I'm sure I mention it to everyone. :lol:

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No no no you are both wrong. your child will be cured of all that ails them if only they went to ps and were properly socialized.

 

I have been told this by the social worker at a therapy center on behalf of the OT and PT. They felt DS's pain would disapear if he was around normal kids who did not complain of pain. Idiots.

 

Within 3 months of leaving we recieved a dx for DS.

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I have been told this by the social worker at a therapy center on behalf of the OT and PT. They felt DS's pain would disapear if he was around normal kids who did not complain of pain. Idiots.

 

Within 3 months of leaving we recieved a dx for DS.

 

:grouphug: I have heard it from more flipping therapists, dr's, strangers, relatives etc. Apparently if my kids went to ps they would be cured of their mood disorders, learning disabilities, bowel disorder etc. I usually have to remind them that the kids were in ps before, and I pulled them when ds was suicidal. How's that for curing his mood disorder?

 

I have also gotten the "stop vaxing, the toxins from it are causing their issues". ADHD can be completely cured with diet changes, as can developmental delays.

 

I am ready to kill people for it for the issues my kids have and they are no where near as severe or life threatening as diabetes or seizures etc.

 

I get sharing what has worked for you. HEck I share about the progress and improvements we have made with particular supplements etc but I would never presume to tell someone their child would be cured if they just did xyz. If it was that easy the parents would have done it a long long time ago.

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:grouphug:

 

And an honest question. Is this statement ok, or should it not be said at all?

 

"Have you heard about XYZ? I've read a little about it and some say it works, so I was just wondering if you had heard of it."

 

^^ I have said things like that before and I'm wondering if they left the conversation thinking I was totally annoying and tactless. :mellow:

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:grouphug:

 

And an honest question. Is this statement ok, or should it not be said at all?

 

"Have you heard about XYZ? I've read a little about it and some say it works, so I was just wondering if you had heard of it."

 

^^ I have said things like that before and I'm wondering if they left the conversation thinking I was totally annoying and tactless. :mellow:

I had one person repeatedly tell me how xyz worked for her friend whose child is NT (re: isn't my hfasd child) and that I should try it. It was totally annoying and clueless.

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:grouphug:

 

And an honest question. Is this statement ok, or should it not be said at all?

 

"Have you heard about XYZ? I've read a little about it and some say it works, so I was just wondering if you had heard of it."

 

^^ I have said things like that before and I'm wondering if they left the conversation thinking I was totally annoying and tactless. :mellow:

 

9/10 that statement would be fine, because at that point you would drop it, they would either say yes they looked into/tried that or no, tell me more or I will have to look into that. At that point it is done, don't bring it up again, or claim it is the miracle cure they have been praying for. It is perfectly fine to mention something you have heard about, we all do that and that is how we learn about new things to add to regimes etc.

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I do understand it is annoying; however, I think I'd rather think of people as simply trying to help.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I'm probably too quick to tell people wearing wrist braces that I cured my carpal tunnel and DH cured his tendinitis with bromelain. In fact a friend of mine just had carpal tunnel surgery. She chose surgery over trying the bromelain because of timing. Work approved it and she had to do it now. Now she's having complications from the surgery and has been out of work for quite a while.

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I'm probably too quick to tell people wearing wrist braces that I cured my carpal tunnel and DH cured his tendinitis with bromelain.

 

When I was wearing wrist braces because of carpal tunnel, I would have been absolutely thrilled if you had taken the time to tell me how bromelain worked for you. (No one told me about it, btw -- everyone said I would need surgery. :glare:)

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There definitely are different ways that people "share" their wisdom with you. I think the OP is just having a vent after having some run in's with the more annoying kind.

If you have experienced things working on your kids, great! Seizures, diabetes, pretty much all ailments are different in different bodies. I am going to give the OP the benefit of the doubt that she has looked into things, and they are not working with her kid. Just because someone else's kid was cured with it does not make the OP a mom who is doing something wrong. She is dealing with major health issues in a child and has had a frustrating day.

 

Chickenpatty:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Edited by Northwest_Mama
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:iagree:

 

 

I'm probably too quick to tell people wearing wrist braces that I cured my carpal tunnel and DH cured his tendinitis with bromelain. In fact a friend of mine just had carpal tunnel surgery. She chose surgery over trying the bromelain because of timing. Work approved it and she had to do it now. Now she's having complications from the surgery and has been out of work for quite a while.

 

Would you mind PMing me and telling me more about the bromelain? I've had an issue with something in my wrist/arm. A brace does help some, but I'm curious about bromelain. Thanks!

 

I think mentioning something once is reasonable. I tend to remember a lot of what I've read, so if I've ever read about someone having good success with XYZ for a condition, chances are high that I will remember something about it and at least want to offer something to look into. It seems that so much about the human body is complicated, and sometimes there are reasonably little things that can make huge differences -- but they're not always well-known. But I think there's a time and place for stuff like that, and some people are too pushy.

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Lol, no, they were talking about eating organic stuff, and using supplements. We've actually looked into the ketogenic diet for our guy with seizures. :D

 

The diabetes comments happen a lot more often & you know, diabetes is a 24/7 thing to manage & for someone to suggest that you could easily fix it by eating whole foods is just frustrating.

 

It's really a lack of understanding about diabetes. People probably are confusing type 1 and 2. But either way, it's rude to tell someone you could cure their kid with a simple change in diet.

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Two--not just one, but TWO--of my "friends" claimed that if my [lactose-intolerant] dds began drinking raw milk, impurities would be cleaned out of their bodies and their big, beautiful, brown eyes would be blue. They said this in front of my daughters.:banghead:

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One well meaning but ignorant comment is one thing. It is the constant barage of unsolicitated comments on everything including diets, therapies, vaccines, parenting advice, medications and supplements that just sends me overboard. No, I think it is the comments mixed with people saying "he can do X so he dosn't really have that/he just needs to be a kid and he will be fine" that really get to me. I do not care what people think but some thoughts should really be left unsaid. When it comes down to it, at the end of the day I am the one comforting a child sobbing in pain because playing his favorite sport (a low impact sport at that) has left him in tears and barely able to walk to the car.

 

Oh and the "I lost my child to (insert some not life threatening disorder)" about a physically healthy child when I do not know if my son will live to adulthood makes me want to punch people.

 

Words are powerful, I just wish people remembered that.

Edited by momtoone
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