melissel Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Let me preface by saying, this isn't a real day camp. It's just a fun little M-W-F program run by the terrific private preschool that DD5 went to for two years. They do arts and crafts, play in kiddie pools and on the playground, and just generally hang out. It's two minutes from our house. DD2 insisted that she was going to camp this summer like her big sister (who goes to an abbreviated, 3-day day camp program). We thought, sure, why not? Our new babysitter (my mom, say a prayer for me!) can't start until September anyway, so that would solve the problem of finding someone to cover me while I work from home. The first three weeks went wonderfully. They called her Miss Congeniality, and she loved going. But the novelty has worn off, and now she flatly refuses to go. Last Wednesday she sobbed for almost an hour before they called me to come get her (I had no idea until they called). She refused to go on Friday, so we agreed to let her stay home because DH was home, on the condition that she go back today. Today, she woke up saying she didn't want to go, clung to me at drop-off, and cried until I agreed to take her home. No one can identify any good reason, except that she'd rather be home. So now what do I do? I know they think I'm being overprotective by not just leaving her there no matter what. I simply can't do that. Do I go ahead and pull the trigger on the cancellation now and save us the time and money of other lost days? If I did, I could use the money to hire a babysitter to come here a few hours a week instead. I just hate to give up so easily, when she so enjoyed those first three weeks. DD2 keeps telling me to cancel though :glare: The other problem with letting one quit camp is that my big kid is whining about going now too, but HER camp is not going to give me a penny back, so I told her she has to stick it out. If I let her sister stop going, DD5 is going to be very resentful :( Ack!!! I knew I should have stuck to my guns and told everyone NO CAMP! when the issue came up again this year. All this money and time wasted, grrrr! What do you think? TIA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I say pull the plug. I see several red flags in her behavior, and I think forcing the issue needlessly will result in more pain for all of you. As for your other dd, she is going to have to accept the fact that life is different for a 2yo than for a 5yo. Everything cannot be the same or equal--that would not be fair to either one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I think it's normal for a young child to want to be with mom. How many hrs/day is the camp? When my dss were 3 I was working FT from home for a few months so I put them into a FT preschool. At first they loved it, but by about the 3rd week they just didn't want to go. I think it was too much for them to go from being with me all the time to being away for so many hours. If it was me, I'd find a babysitter, but still have the older child attend the camp. But I'd tell you to do what you really feel is best for you and the kids. Moms know best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I say pull the plug. I see several red flags in her behavior, and I think forcing the issue needlessly will result in more pain for all of you. As for your other dd, she is going to have to accept the fact that life is different for a 2yo than for a 5yo. Everything cannot be the same or equal--that would not be fair to either one of them. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 So now what do I do? I know they think I'm being overprotective by not just leaving her there no matter what. I simply can't do that. Do I go ahead and pull the trigger on the cancellation now and save us the time and money of other lost days?Yes. I would respect my 2/3yo's feelings on the matter. She's not going to learn anything from the experience of being made to go. The other problem with letting one quit camp is that my big kid is whining about going now too, but HER camp is not going to give me a penny back, so I told her she has to stick it out. If I let her sister stop going, DD5 is going to be very resentful :(I would explain that she is older and that she made a commitment. A 2/3yo can't really make a commitment. I'm assuming the 5yo wanted to go, is that correct? However, I would try to find a way to reassure her that if something was really wrong/upsetting at her camp you'd respect her not wanting to go back (although I know a couple kids who might take this as inspiration IYKWIM). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Mine loved those kinds of things but if she's balking I wouldn't make her go. She's so very young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 That's a hard one...I know my son would have been the same at 3. I made the mistake of signing him up for swimming lessons (which he was excited about) at about 3. First day, refused to get in the pool, we sat and watched with me not making a big deal about it. Second day, he says to me in the locker room "Why do I have to put my bathing suit on, I'm not getting into the pool." Third day, I gave up. He loves water and it was a class where I would sit and watch so there wasn't any good reason, but he just wouldn't do it. I've learned with him that if he doesn't want to do something it is very very difficult to make him. And I figure there are so many battles I have to fight (going to bed, obeying me, etc.) that I'm not going to fight him on stuff like lessons. Pretty much every time I've backed off and made it his choice...he'll end up doing it. My personal opinion on the money wasted is that it's just money. Not to diminish it because it is frustrating but in that kind of situation I would just chalk it up to a lesson learned...and the kids would have to beg me to go to camp the next time. :) I always figure that if they are miserable and it's creating a huge problem, it's not like I'm getting what I paid for anyway, so I might as well write the money off and move on. I would probably let the 3 yr old stay home and take any money you get back and use it to hire a babysitter. As for the 5 yr old, it would probably depend on if she wanted to do camp initially. If she did, I do think she's old enough to understand making a commitment. If it wasn't her choice but just something you signed her up for (which I certainly do with my son, so nothing wrong with that) I might let her out of it too. I think 5 is also still little and I can see where it would create hurt feelings for sister to get to stay home with Mommy while she has to go to camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Last Wednesday she sobbed for almost an hour before they called me to come get her (I had no idea until they called). She refused to go on Friday, so we agreed to let her stay home because DH was home, on the condition that she go back today. This was probably too sophisticated a "deal" to make with such a young child. Today, she woke up saying she didn't want to go, clung to me at drop-off, and cried until I agreed to take her home. No one can identify any good reason, except that she'd rather be home. At her age, that's enough reason. ;) So now what do I do? I know they think I'm being overprotective by not just leaving her there no matter what. I simply can't do that. Do I go ahead and pull the trigger on the cancellation now and save us the time and money of other lost days? If I did, I could use the money to hire a babysitter to come here a few hours a week instead. I just hate to give up so easily, when she so enjoyed those first three weeks. DD2 keeps telling me to cancel though As an "attached" homeschool mom who provided daycare........ You can: 1) Honor her request to not participate anymore. Clearly she doesn't want to go/prefers to be home. It's reasonable, not permissive, acceptable and *not* overprotective to keep a 2-3 year old in close proximity. 2) If you do decide you want her to particate, drop and go. It makes things worse for her and the teachers to linger, be indecisive and to make her think she has an option or "say" or power in the choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I say pull the plug. I see several red flags in her behavior, and I think forcing the issue needlessly will result in more pain for all of you. As for your other dd, she is going to have to accept the fact that life is different for a 2yo than for a 5yo. Everything cannot be the same or equal--that would not be fair to either one of them. :iagree: 100% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I say pull the plug. I see several red flags in her behavior, and I think forcing the issue needlessly will result in more pain for all of you. As for your other dd, she is going to have to accept the fact that life is different for a 2yo than for a 5yo. Everything cannot be the same or equal--that would not be fair to either one of them. I agree as well. She just doesn't sound ready. Explain to other dd that 2yo is not as old and "mature" as she is, and therefore may need to be at home a while longer. HTH Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 *sigh* I knew that's what you would all say. I guess I'm a little embarrassed to be seen as that "hysterical mom," you know? But whatever. I can't keep doing this every other day. I'll call this afternoon. I'm mostly annoyed about the lost money because I just KNEW this was going to happen. DD5 decided she didn't want to go back to camp again after last summer because she wanted to be home with me. Fine. Then the stupid camp sent a marketing DVD of all the fun the kids had over the summer, which including video footage of DD5, and next thing you know, she was desperate to go again. And DD2? Well, she wept piteously EVEY SINGLE DAY when DD5 got on the bus last summer, and when she heard she was going again this summer, she said, "Now I'm old enough to go to camp on the bus too!!!" Which she wasn't, of course, which is how we ended up at preschool camp...gah! OK, vent over. I'll cancel and see what I can do about getting a sitter until September. Of course, right when all the college students are getting ready to go back to school! It just figures. Let this be a lesson to me, eh? Thank you all for validating my mommy instincts. On the upside, now I have a good reason to tell DD2 no when she asks about preschool in the fall! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.