Need advice for parent-teacher conference re struggling 6yo

[SKL]

First official parent-teacher conference is this Wednesday. Focus will be: DD doesn't follow along in class. Any work that requires following along is a disaster.

 

I'm thinking aloud here, and asking for the advice of anyone who has been here before.

 

I'm a single parent and I work full-time (7 day weeks). My kids go to "late room" for 2-3 hours after school. This is their "chill time" for the most part. Evenings are filled with much-needed physical activity, therapies, reading, and and hour or so of academic review / homework. We squeeze in more at the cost of sleep. The work we do at home is not enough to make up for the listening problem in class.

 

I'm pursuing a few prescribed therapies and prism glasses, but I don't know how soon we'll see positive results, or even if they will help at all.

 

So I want to ask the teacher for one-on-one help outside of the classroom. It would be great if an older student (school goes to grade 8) could sit with my dd and help her re-do the in-class worksheets during late room - I would gladly pay for this. Or perhaps there is a teacher or volunteer who helps remediate students after school. I'd also like to get the teacher's buy-in for ignoring her test scores on subjects like health and social studies, which is a lot of BS anyway IMO and only takes away time we could be spending on reading and math.

 

I really want to come to the meeting with positive but realistic suggestions. What do you think makes sense?

[MBM]

So I want to ask the teacher for one-on-one help outside of the classroom. It would be great if an older student (school goes to grade 8) could sit with my dd and help her re-do the in-class worksheets during late room - I would gladly pay for this. Or perhaps there is a teacher or volunteer who helps remediate students after school. I'd also like to get the teacher's buy-in for ignoring her test scores on subjects like health and social studies, which is a lot of BS anyway IMO and only takes away time we could be spending on reading and math.

 

I really want to come to the meeting with positive but realistic suggestions. What do you think makes sense?

 

Even before I got to your above paragraph, I was thinking a big kid could be helpful. Your daughter would have someone to look up to and someone to help. I've seen many kids, including my own, do well in these kinds of situations.

The possible problems: having an older student stick with it --which is why you might want to hire two who tag team teach -- and your daughter possibly acting silly-excited because she wants to impress the big kid. (I had a kid who tended to do that around big kids.)

So, yeah, I think it's a good plan. Good luck!

[jennynd]

Do u think the lack of sleep might associate to the behavior problem? When my kids not getting enough sleep, they usually bounce off the wall... Just a thought

[SKL]

Do u think the lack of sleep might associate to the behavior problem? When my kids not getting enough sleep, they usually bounce off the wall... Just a thought

 

This is one of my concerns. I try to get them to bed at a decent hour, but it's easier said than done. I haven't observed a link between behavior and sleep so far, but that doesn't mean there isn't one.

[jenbrdsly]

The work we do at home is not enough to make up for the listening problem in class.

 

 

 

Just a thought... I did a whole "All Kinds of Minds" training when I was a teacher, and I remember Dr. Levine saying that ADHD symptoms were sometimes actually symptoms of sleep deprivation. He said he always tried giving kids sleeping meds before ADHD meds.

 

So could it be possible that the listening problems were related to sleep deprivation?

 

Second thought, I like the idea of an 8th grade buddy, but I think it would be more effective if they were doing something entirely different together. Redoing worksheets that didn't sink in the first time, sounds like it could be yucky. Math games would be more fun.

 

Good luck! It sounds like you have your hands full.

 

 

[jenbrdsly]

Oooh... I just thought of another idea. What about a microphone/wall speaker system for the teacher? I used to have that at one of my schools. There's actual scientific evidence to support that it helps improve concentration for kids with a variety of issues. It also helps the teacher not get voice strain.

[AnIslandGirl]

If the inability to follow directions is due to a lack of focus, maybe a "wiggle cushion" wold work well. http://www.amazon.com/Isokinetics-Brand-Exercise-Balance-Cushion/dp/B000WQ4Z94/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352129356&sr=8-1&keywords=wiggle+cushion

 

As for the dropping of grades for certain subjects, around here that would require an IEP. If your child's grades are struggling that much, there is a possibility that your child could qualify for some pull-out programs for math and reading. Sometimes a smaller group setting helps with the concentration of students who have a harder time focusing.

 

It's great that you are getting suggestions ready for the conference! Good Luck!

[SKL]

It's a small parochial school, so I don't know whether they have any accommodations for these types of issues. They do have a special ed teacher / classroom. But I don't think my kid needs pull-out unless it's to go over what the class is doing in a quieter environment. She has the mental ability to keep up in the core subjects. (Last Spring on ITBS she was 50th %ile in math and above that in reading.)

 

I will ask what they do have available. You guys have some interesting ideas. I never would have thought of the microphone idea.

 

In other news, just this morning I bribed my kids with money if they produce A's in the core subjects this week. Just a little experiment. ;)

[Dmmetler]

If your state is like mine, children in parochial school can still qualify for special ed services, at least in some areas. It's worth looking into. I know there were a couple of kids in DD's parochial school K class getting speech/language and one who used a sound system due to a hearing loss.

[SKL]

Well, I probably blew it. I was cut short (the couple before me went long) and I didn't get to all I wanted to say / ask.

 

After we talked a little about my dd and how she doesn't keep her attention on a page during oral instruction, the teacher seemed to have a lightbulb moment and asked if she should be making some accommodations for her in school for her vision problem. I was surprised that this was the first time it occurred to her (I've given her a lot of info and internet links about the vision problem). She didn't have any ideas of her own. I made a couple of suggestions but didn't have time to really explore this.

 

The teacher is going to ask the principal about having an 8th grader work with dd one-on-one.

 

I did get the impression that things are not as bad as I felt they were, relative to the overall class. And they are steadily improving. Teacher seemed fine with the fact that I'm focusing on reading and math at home and to hell with the rest of it if she can't get it in class.

 

Not a word about my other kid - no time. I guess no news is good news.

[SKL]

I would not accept that solution .. she needs to come up with something that is within her control...a seat change would be the first for me. Is this problem occuring in small group instruction or in whole-class?

 

She already moved her seat.

 

It happens in whole-class instruction. It also happens, though not as badly, when someone goes over written material / worksheet with her one-on-one.

 

The teacher spoke as if some of these issues were common to many in the class. I think to some extent it's just that the method of delivery isn't the most appropriate to teach this content at this level. The teacher even expressed frustration with the way the tests are written, because apparently many kids fail to get their knowledge down on paper.

 

This reminds me of a question I am not sure where/if to post. Is the average 6-year-old ready for stuff like word searches and unscrambling letters (typical seatwork for this class)? My dd6 is hopeless at these types of puzzles. She cannot see a word in a jumble of letters. My dd5 can, but she's also years ahead in reading, so I don't know what's normal for age 6. I remember my sister, who was a high achiever, breaking down in tears in 3rd grade because she couldn't find the diagonal words in a spelling word search.

 

Another thing that strikes me as dumb is when they say "which one of these is a spelling word" and give three choices like "own, now, won." My dd is going to read this as "which of these is a correctly spelled word." She gets these wrong pretty much every time. But when it comes to actually spelling the words, she does great. So what's the point of all these puzzles and games that just serve to discourage?

[Uff Da!]

nm

[SKL]

 

This reminds me of a question I am not sure where/if to post. Is the average 6-year-old ready for stuff like word searches and unscrambling letters (typical seatwork for this class)? My dd6 is hopeless at these types of puzzles. She cannot see a word in a jumble of letters. My dd5 can, but she's also years ahead in reading, so I don't know what's normal for age 6. I remember my sister, who was a high achiever, breaking down in tears in 3rd grade because she couldn't find the diagonal words in a spelling word search.

 

Yes, they are ready, but usually the word search is designed for their reading level. A student working on the alphabet would get a paragraph of text and be instructed to circle all the letter 'r' s that can be found for ex. What you need to do is to prompt her to search effectively. Look at the first letter in the word, then systematically go thru the word search. When she finds that letter, check for second letter, go on or check for third, etc. Many of the kids I helped like to do outsides, then left to right, top to bottom, then diagonals. Many benefit from using a bookmark or ruler in helping them see the diagonal; some use it also for the horizontals.

 

 

Another thing that strikes me as dumb is when they say "which one of these is a spelling word" and give three choices like "own, now, won."

My dd is going to read this as "which of these is a correctly spelled word." She gets these wrong pretty much every time. But when it comes to actually spelling the words, she does great. So what's the point of all these puzzles and games that just serve to discourage?

 

The level is too hard if it is discouraging.

The which one is a spelling word is encouraging use of visual and verbal memory. It takes work. Focus on goal setting..this week one right, next week one right, the week after two... and study using spaced repetition. If you can say spell 'now' and she can do it verbally, but not pick it out of a list of two, then she needs to work on visual and thinking skills, possibly also working memory. Can she pick her name out of a list?

 

 

OK, so typical 6yos can do this. That's good to know.

 

Then I think that my dd is just stumped because of the way her eyes work. Print jumps around on her. Her prism glasses should come in next week or so; hopefully that will help. And I should probably sit down with her in the evening and go over strategies for word searches, so she can apply the tips and tricks at school. And maybe we can play with unscrambling letters. I just don't see how this really helps when the child is able to spell all the words without these "practice" exercises, and she's a good reader. When I think of how much time I have and all that needs to be accomplished, I generally don't see word puzzles as a high priority. But maybe I've been wrong about that.

[SKL]

It's thinking skill, visual memory, and working memory as well as vision and puzzle solving strategies. If you want to confirm it's vision, magnifying the wordsearch on the copier and seeing if that helps may do the trick. You could also make a smaller wordsearch, with just horizontals, then add verticals, then add diagonals as she gains experience. You might also print it on a different colored sheet of paper.

 

The point of pick the spelling word out of own, now, won is to figure out who is sight reading and who isn't. Some kids will know the letters, but not be able to pick out the correct sequence in print, even though they can write the word down when asked. They aren't seeing it in their mind. Visual kids at this age can spell backwards when asked, ime.

 

I am not sure we are talking about the same thing here. I wrote up a long response and then decided that maybe I am misunderstanding the assignment. The paper says "circle the spelling word" and I assumed that meant the child is supposed to look at the three words and remember which one is on the spelling list. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the teacher reads the word and the kid is supposed to circle the one she says. Hmm. In that case I agree that it's a relevant test of visual memory (assuming the child is listening to the teacher :tongue_smilie:). Visual memory is definitely not one of my dd's strong points.

 

Oh well, onward and upward. Thanks for your input; it has been helpful.

[SKL]

It's well worth it to make sure her sequencing skills are in place also. That comes up time and time again in K-3. Have her tell stories, or tell about her day, or illustrate her day in comic form.

 

She's actually amazingly good when it comes to sequencing / patterns in real life stuff. She thinks way ahead and way back and likes to list out exactly what happened / will happen in exact sequence. So that part of her brain is well-oiled. Getting it to communicate with the visual part seems to be an issue.