Ridiculous or Good Idea?

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, yesterday, I ran by the doctor's office with Monkey. She was all smiles and sweetness when we walked in the door. Then she saw "Miss Beverly" (our nurse practictioner). She started SCREAMING like beyond crazy. I spoke with her a minute then went in the waiting room (we were there just to see a nurse). Monkey just kept anxiously saying phrases such as "over here?" and "tree" (there is a fake tree in the waiting room). We then went back with the nurse where she screamed like crazy. She tried to settle herself with blocks and I tried to use those to help her, but it was no use. SHe was too far gone. Anyway, so we go back out to the desk and she starts screaming again as we pass Beverly's office. I send her back to the waiting room so I can talk. She walks around and kept saying "over here?" Then we left and she was fine.

 

So background - Monkey had twice had MRSA and then she had a really bad stomach flu that had us in the dr office every few days, at the ER 3 times, and she was admitted to children's the last time. Add the normal shots and such kids get....So I totally understand her trauma associated with the dr office, but.....

 

But Beverly said yesterday she has NEVER had a child freak out just walking into the office no matter what. Monkey screams if it is one of the other kids there or whatever. It is crazy. She's either whining if she can't see any of them or screaming her head off.

 

So one of the things I joked about with Beverly was bringing in candy to leave in Beverly's office then dropping by regularly so she'd see that the office is mostly good. We could start with just walking into the office, even if screaming, but then work towards letting Beverly touch her, hold her, whatever. Same with the nurses. Sweets are often part of building attachments (sweets, warmth, closeness, smell, etc). We could do it more often at first then cut down.

 

But is it unreasonable to ask the doctor's office to accommodate us like that? I just don't think Monkey is going to get over it when the visits are because she is sick or has an infection or needs shots.

 

Anyway, so it is ridiculous or????

[Jennifer in MI]

I think it's a wonderful idea! Your poor little one has been through so much. I wish my mom had done something like this for me. My first memory is of a spinal tap and a hospital stay where my mom and dad couldn't stay the night. I was terrified. I am STILL scared of doctors. So, I get it.

 

I LOVE the idea of making good memories for her at the doctor's office. And, I can't see why they wouldn't accommodate you! I mean, they get treats!!!

[Impish]

Or, you could just keep a special candy/treat in your purse for dr visits.

 

My best friend from the time I was a teen had a younger brother that would completely lose it at the Drs. Every. Single. Time. His mom started bringing raisins (a rare and special treat for them at the time) and slipped it to him whenever they had to go. It worked.

[KAR120C]

One thing to consider... if she's already panicked when she's in the doctor's office, you want to find a way to step it back just a tiny bit, so she recognizes something that makes her anxious but she's not overwhelmed and she can remember the candy part too. Or if the doctor's office is okay but that one NP isn't, you might spend as much time as you can in and around the doctor's office with only little glimpses of the NP. Basically the idea is once she's in a panic she's not learning the good association, but if you can find things that she's only a little anxious about, or things that she's medium-anxious about, but stay away from the really panic-producing ones, you'll probably make more progress.

 

:grouphug:

[fairfarmhand]

I have no thoughts on your idea... but I did want to share that you child is not alone in her panic.

 

My son had a horrible medical thing done (can't for the life of me remember what it was, but it involved me and another nurse pinning him down while the Nurse practioner did something uncomfortable to him) He was about your kiddo's age. The NP was a dead ringer for my sister in law. Looked just like her.

 

So we go to Thanksgiving, and every time he caught a glimpse of his aunt, he'd start crying.

[texasmama]

Google "systematic desensitization", which is essentially what you are describing. It is a method to reduce anxiety such as this. You may get some good tips from a google search.

[Mommyof4ks]

It is a great idea. When my son was going to the doc and always came out feeling worse than when he went in (long story but it was necessary) he chose nt to talk to any ever in the office. He did not speak to anyone in the office for two years, and I did not see the problem with that until after he started interacting with them. If we had bribed him to like the office and the people there it would have made it easier to treat him and to find out what was wrong each time we went in. Conditioning works well on littles. ;)

[AK_Mom4]

When DD11 was little, she had developed a healthy fear and dislike of folks in medical gear thanks to some frequent hospitalizations. The only doctor that didn't cause a major meltdown was her allergist, whom DD knew from church and who did not wear scrubs or a white jacket.

 

The urologist bribed DD with lollipops.... I kept little Dollar Store toys in my purse to get us thru the kidney doctor appointments.

[SKL]

It would be a terrible idea for my kids, but it might be a good idea for some.

 

I would ask - how often will she be at the doctor in the near future? Because this is something she'll grow out of soon enough. But if it's a frequent issue, I could see offering a treat. If candy is what it takes, and candy doesn't make other issues worse, then go for it.

 

Where my kids used to go for well visits, all the painful jobs used to fall to one particular assistant named Autumn. Poor Autumn! ;) Luckily my kids liked her, but then, my kids are kinda weird.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks y'all (just now making it back to this).

 

Well, assuming she doesn't get sick or leave (ugh), she doesn't have another appointment until December 20th. However, she is NOT a child who is going to just get over it, grow out of it, etc. This is a kid who, if she didn't get enough positive exposure (and really, most dr visits have an element of negativity, if only shots or whatever), she'll be throwing fits at 5yrs old! Seriously, she's just extra sensitive, extra smart, an extra "high strung." And she has a memory like an elephant.

 

Yesterday, I took her to have the tb test read. I had smarties with me. I gave her smarties as we walked in the office, for saying hi to the nurse (she doesn't like her either), as the nurse took her arm to look (she whined, but didn't scream), as we were waiting for the paperwork.

 

Maybe I'll just do once a week. Try easy things like saying hi, stepping on the scale, walking into an exam room. Just the basics. Don't want to over-do it.

 

But I do think we either have to do something. But maybe 3 times a week is overdoing :)

 

BTW, we're not talking a lot of candy (I realize some would be worried doing it at all with such a young child), she didn't eat a 1/3 of the smarties in our visit yesterday. We probably would have made it through a whole thing of them in a regular visit though.

[Happy]

I think it's a good idea. In fact, I kinda do it myself. There have been lots of strange and scary doctor's appointments this year. Sometimes I plan and know I'll swing by Jamba Juice before or after the challenging session. A little treat to reward my fierce courage. :tongue_smilie:

 

When my oldest was little he had a small stuffed tiger that went to doctor's appointments and surgeries with him.