lynn Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 this person is someone I grew up next door to and have been part of our lives forever. We refer to he and his wife and aunt and uncle. This may be a dumb question but, is it proper to mention the deceased by name or just express sympathy. I want to say something like "We are so saddened by the loss of uncle sal". Is that proper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'd use the name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted October 29, 2012 Author Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'd use the name. Thanks, I just did not know if it was proper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I think the most important thing is that the card is sent at all. This said, if it it someone I am close to, I prefer to be personal, call the deceased by his name and use plain words like "we are sad" - instead of a a generic expression of sympathy or condolence. I want to convey that I am actually feeling something and not just go through the motions, if that makes sense. So, your wording sounds fine to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Definitely use the name. It will mean a lot to them. Don't worry about staying formal, speak from your heart. I think it is nice to mention a special memory if you have one. Or say how you loved Uncle Sal's laugh, or how he could tell a story, or whatever it was. When my grandmother passed (and she was like a mother to me) I really loved the cards and emails that mentioned things like that, instead of the "canned" response, iykwim. For someone that close to you, I would just write what comes to you, it will be helpful for you to get it out and helpful for them to read it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 this person is someone I grew up next door to and have been part of our lives forever. We refer to he and his wife and aunt and uncle. This may be a dumb question but, is it proper to mention the deceased by name or just express sympathy. I want to say something like "We are so saddened by the loss of uncle sal". Is that proper? Yes! Not only use his name, but include something about him that you remember, if you have anything. There is nothing more important to the bereaved than to know that their loved one mattered to someone. So, I'd write something like, "I will never forget his smiling face when he stopped to say hello every time I saw him working in his garden." Or something like that, whatever applies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Yes! Not only use his name, but include something about him that you remember, if you have anything. There is nothing more important to the bereaved than to know that their loved one mattered to someone. So, I'd write something like, "I will never forget his smiling face when he stopped to say hello every time I saw him working in his garden." Or something like that, whatever applies. This. Exactly. And I'm sorry for your loss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 absolutely do mention the deceased's name. It makes it more personal, and convey's more meaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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