Names and how you spell them...

[TCoppock]

:iagree:

Meh. My father in law's dad (dh's stepdad's dad), who is 90 years old, thinks my 9yo son's name is Noel. It's not. He's close; the first two letters are right, but the last two letters are wrong. But the man is 90; he's not doing it on purpose. He just doesn't like to wear his hearing aids, so he doesn't pick up on all the 'details'; you know, little things like what his great grandkid's names actually are. :tongue_smilie: We say nothing.

 

You gotta let it go. For your own sanity. :001_smile:

 

My grandfather, who has now passed, never could get my youngest brother's name correct. It was a family joke. He meant no harm just couldn't hear well enough. Your comment brought back sweet memories. Thanks :001_smile:

[Shellers]

I've actually never brought it up to her. At all. That's why I'm asking if I should just let it go and judging from the many responses on this odd topic, I'd say the common consensus is to let it go! :tongue_smilie:

 

Good idea! I would let it go too.

 

I have a Kristi and people are always misspelling her name. Kristi is 15 and my mom is finally catching on that her name isn't Kristie.

 

What's crazy is a grew up with a cousin named Kristie and my mom always spelled it Kristi. :confused:

[kalanamak]

So...am I being ridiculous? Should I just let this one go?

 

Let it go. EVeryone but my direct family misspells both my name and my son's. My pet name has 3 letters and my son's name has 4 letters. Amazing but true.

[justLisa]

My name is Sarah. People who have known me for years write Sara. I can understand just not remembering, but it does seem ridiculous when they are replying to me on Facebook or responding to a letter that I sent and signed and also put a return address on.

 

Some people just can't be bothered to try spelling a name correctly and that's that. There's not much you can do about it.

 

For the record, I think Lukas is perfectly reasonable spelling (though according to ssa.gov, less common). I like it.

 

 

That is my DD's name :001_smile:. I love it. It is timeless.

 

DD is only 6.5, but is to the point when she introduces herself as Sarah with an "h." LOL

[Greenmama2]

Those forms are terrible too. We were in a car accident and I had to tell the paramedic all my DC's birthdates. I was a bit stressed out and couldn't remember the birth years! I'm pretty sure I got one of them a couple years off. It was so embarrassing...and I only had 3 DC at the time.

 

:lol: glad it's not just me :D

[kristi26]

Gosh, I left my neighbor a note this summer, and I realized later I spelled her name wrong. She spells with a K, I wrote a C. But I've only seen her name written down once. I'd hate her to think I was trying to be rude.

 

Yeah, see, I don't care if strangers or even acquantances misspell my/his/our names. I really don't. It's the fact that she is close family, honestly. She lives 5 minutes from us. We see her regularly. If she were not close family, I wouldn't think a thing of it.

 

At this point, I am just not going to bother saying a word. If it bugs HIM, he can tell her. :001_smile:

[LittleIzumi]

Yeah, see, I don't care if strangers or even acquantances misspell my/his/our names. I really don't. It's the fact that she is close family, honestly. She lives 5 minutes from us. We see her regularly. If she were not close family, I wouldn't think a thing of it.

 

At this point, I am just not going to bother saying a word. If it bugs HIM, he can tell her. :001_smile:

 

But when she sees him she just says his name, not spells it. ;)

[kristi26]

My name is Sarah. People who have known me for years write Sara. I can understand just not remembering, but it does seem ridiculous when they are replying to me on Facebook or responding to a letter that I sent and signed and also put a return address on.

 

Some people just can't be bothered to try spelling a name correctly and that's that. There's not much you can do about it.

 

For the record, I think Lukas is perfectly reasonable spelling (though according to ssa.gov, less common). I like it.

 

Thank you! :)

[Bee Happy]

I understand your frustrations. My daughter's name is Shannon, but spelled with only 1 "n" in the middle. It's a perfectly acceptable spelling listed in baby books, but it's not the spelling that most people think of. Personally, I make a point to spell names correctly. Kelly with an i, Shelly with an ie. If there name is different, I spell it different. It doesn't seem hard to me and shows them that I care. Unfortunately, everyone doesn't feel that way. :)

[gardenmom5]

let it go. she's doing it to bug you, and she's winning.

 

 

eta: I was chewed out once for mispelling a name of someone I was purchasing an item from. I'd been dealing with many names, including one like her's. I made a simple error. I figured it was a mistake she rant into alot. I laughed alot at her prolong rant - becuase she had my name wrong.

Edited October 27, 2012 by gardenmom5

[LucyStoner]

My nickname, Katie, is the most common spelling. The name that it is short for is common and my parents used the most common spelling. Of course, all of these name variations come in both C and K flavors. I see people mess it up all the time despite using the most common spelling of Katie and my full name. Not only do they misspell it (kathlene, kathlean, katherlene, Cathleen, Kaytee, Katey etc), they replace it with wholly different names and nicknames (Kathy, Cate, Kat, Kathryn, Kaitlyn etc). Life is too short to be bothered by it. I only draw a line if they decide to CALL me Cat or Kathy. Um, no. Fine names. Not my name. I don't even mind if they call me Kate instead so I'd say I am pretty generous.

Edited October 27, 2012 by kijipt

[SpecialClassical]

No, more like Kate-a-lyn. The middle I is a schwa sound, and the emphasis on the first syllable. :001_smile:

 

I see. That is a nice name. I like the sound of it better than Kaitlynn, Caitlin,Catelyn, Katelyn, etc.

[Element]

My name is Sarah. People who have known me for years write Sara. I can understand just not remembering, but it does seem ridiculous when they are replying to me on Facebook or responding to a letter that I sent and signed and also put a return address on.

 

Some people just can't be bothered to try spelling a name correctly and that's that. There's not much you can do about it.

 

For the record, I think Lukas is perfectly reasonable spelling (though according to ssa.gov, less common). I like it.

 

Where are all these people who spell Sarah "Sara?" I didn't know they existed! :glare:

[Audrey]

Sorry this offends you and it is possible that the offending parties do it on purpose. Having said that, I feel that if someone chooses to spell their child's name in an unconventional way, or if they choose an unusual name to begin with, they should accept that people will get it wrong forever and always. This is an annoyance you, quite frankly, invited upon yourself.

 

Honestly, it bugs me when people get mad that people spell their child's name "wrong" by spelling it right. "Lucas" is the most widely accepted spelling of your son's name. By giving him a "kre8tiv" spelling, you should be able to accept that people will forget and spell it the usual way. It is self-centered to hope that people will be able to remember the unusual spelling of your individual child's name out of all the other names in their life. If they happen to spell it "right" by spelling it "Lukas," that's just gravy.

 

 

:iagree: In these cases, I just have to say, "suck it up." It's simply not acceptable to expect everyone to remember to do it your way (the unusual spelling). If you choose to be unusual names or spellings, expect people have a hard time remembering or understanding. I actually think you should expect to have your name and your children's names misspelled frequently no matter what you name them or how you spell.

 

And, then... just let it go, for cryin' out loud. In the scheme of things, it is rather inconsequential. It's not worth it correct it all the time unless it's a legal document or something.

 

FWIW, people misspell my name ALL the time. I've seen Audry, Aubrey, Audree, Audre, Awdrey, Ohdry, Aundrey, Andrea and a host of other not-my-names in my lifetime. Big whoop. My son has a very normal name with the normal (English) spelling. He gets his name spelled the French way about half the time. He gets it pronounced the French way about half the time, too (although his actual name is the English version). Serves me right for naming him that and spelling it that way, I guess. :lol: Still.... not a big deal.

[NanceXToo]

My daughter's name is Alexa. She has one grandmother who sends her cards and writes something like Aleixa or Alexia (??!) each time.

 

Friends who have known her for years insist on calling her Alexis.

 

It never seems to bother her but it irritates me just a little bit sometimes lol. She won't even correct them and will just answer when they call her Alexis. Whereas I'm all, "It's AlexA!"

 

You could just give her a polite reminder about how your son's name is spelled and see if that does the trick. If not, you could ignore it and just treat it as an inside joke with your kid, or you could start spelling her name wrong all the time haha.

[kristi26]

My daughter's name is Alexa. She has one grandmother who sends her cards and writes something like Aleixa or Alexia (??!) each time.

 

Friends who have known her for years insist on calling her Alexis.

 

It never seems to bother her but it irritates me just a little bit sometimes lol. She won't even correct them and will just answer when they call her Alexis. Whereas I'm all, "It's AlexA!"

 

You could just give her a polite reminder about how your son's name is spelled and see if that does the trick. If not, you could ignore it and just treat it as an inside joke with your kid, or you could start spelling her name wrong all the time haha.

 

Part of me wants to do this on her FB wall just to see if she says anything. Lol. I won't of course, as our relationship is nowhere near good enough to do it, but it made me :lol:

[kristi26]

:iagree: In these cases, I just have to say, "suck it up." It's simply not acceptable to expect everyone to remember to do it your way (the unusual spelling). If you choose to be unusual names or spellings, expect people have a hard time remembering or understanding. I actually think you should expect to have your name and your children's names misspelled frequently no matter what you name them or how you spell.

 

And, then... just let it go, for cryin' out loud. In the scheme of things, it is rather inconsequential. It's not worth it correct it all the time unless it's a legal document or something.

 

FWIW, people misspell my name ALL the time. I've seen Audry, Aubrey, Audree, Audre, Awdrey, Ohdry, Aundrey, Andrea and a host of other not-my-names in my lifetime. Big whoop. My son has a very normal name with the normal (English) spelling. He gets his name spelled the French way about half the time. He gets it pronounced the French way about half the time, too (although his actual name is the English version). Serves me right for naming him that and spelling it that way, I guess. :lol: Still.... not a big deal.

 

First of all, "Lukas" is NOT a creative spelling. It's a completely normal, widely accepted option for spelling the name.

 

Secondly, as I've said repeatedly in this thread, I don't CARE if random people misspell it. I get that there are two accepted spellings of his name and we are going to have to spell it repeatedly for people. My own name is just like that and I've spent my life saying, no it's a K or I spell it with an I at the end.

 

My issue here is that close family, who we see a lot, doesn't care to spell his name correctly. And based on my history with her, I suspect she does it to bug me. I'm not speaking for all the name misspellers here, just this particular one. And I've never actually SAID anything to her because I figured she didn't know she was spelling it wrong. Only now she's seen it spelled right on Facebook repeatedly and she is STILL doing it. And that is why I asked the question here, because I wondered, should I, after nearly 10 years, actually say something about it or just let it go? And most people seem to be saying that while they understand it's annoying to see your child's name spelled wrong, that I should indeed just let it go. So that is what I will do...that or tell Lukas to tell her about it! ;)

[KungFuPanda]

You'll have to let it go. Nobody is going to think this is as important as you do. They have their own hang-ups to cultivate. You can stew over it, but you're only getting yourself worked up and nothing will come of it.

 

FWIW I have a last name that is spelled EXACTLY how it sounds. Nobody spells it right ever. They change it to what they want it to be, thus changing the pronunciation in the process. If it happens over time, with multiple people, it's the NAME that is the problem, not the people.

 

[nmoira]

Moira is my middle name, chosen by my father. I shifted to using it at 17 or 18, much to his delight. However, my father never once spelled it right in correspondence. One of my best friends (possibly dyslexic, definitely a poor speller) has never spelled it right. It's not a big deal, even though I cringe a little at Moria, as in The Mines of... :lol:

[stripe]

At this point, I am just not going to bother saying a word. If it bugs HIM, he can tell her. :001_smile:

 

I had some relatives who thought they could hurt me by not pronouncing my kid's name right, after telling me why they didn't like the name. And yes, I was very upset. The name was consistently mispronounced. It lasted a few months. Eventually I think it dawned on these people that the kid in question might not like it, and, miraculously, I was asked how to pronounce it, and the matter has mostly gone away. So I say, let people do what they want, and just don't be hurt by it, and they may eventually be motivated to get it right. Or not. But just because someone wants to irritate you, doesn't mean you have to let it bother you. And if it does bother you, don't let that person know.

[misty.warden]

Unless your son sees this happening, on Facebook or in his birthday cards, and is upset about it I would let it go. As someone with a name spelled the traditional but not the most popular way (at least in my area where people think Mystee is more conventional for whatever reason) it is annoying but not nearly as jarring as my own grandmother calling me my mom's name, in person and to other people.

 

Now if you correct her, as you said you haven't yet, and she says something like "you spelled it wrong anyway, I'm doing it right" then you have every right to be very put off. I also wonder if she has autocorrect of the brain when typing, as its easy to read one hint and type another when you're thinking of more than one thing at once.

[I.Dup.]

I'm sorry. I would just ignore it. My name is "Kristi" and people misspell it all.the.time. That is one reason I wasn't too concerned about giving my last son a name that will be horribly difficult for people to spell, because people will butcher any name, even "Anne/Ann" "Sarah/Sara" "Rachel/Rachael" "Stephanie/Stefanie/Steffany" etc etc.

[sparrow]

Yes, definitely irritating, but agreeing with others that I'd let it go.

 

My daughter has the traditional spelling of her name and nearly everyone tries to "Americanize" it. Our server at EPCOT's English pub had the same name and dd noticed the spelling, saying hers was spelled that way and everyone tries to spell it wrong. Our server said, "Chin up. *You're* spelling it the right way, the English way ;)!"

[Seeking Squirrels]

I've had my name said and spelled so many different ways that I just accept all of them now. I go mostly by Anne, but most family still say Annie from when I was little. My full name is actually Annamarie. I get it with the m capital, a space in the middle, an e instead of an a and all combinations of those mistakes. I know it's not done on purpose. If its someone I don't truly know, it just doesn't matter to me. If its someone I do know, I know they aren't doing it to slight me or anything. The only one I can't stand and will correct is Anna. I just don't like that one for myself.

 

We gave our girls unusual names. DD1 especially. I know we'll be asked to spell her name forever. It only bothers me when someone doesn't even try to find out how to spell it. Thy don't assume they know and get it wrong, they just flat out put down a string of letters. Actually Sunday school is the most guilty of this. Her name is Phenley. We said and spelled her name for them at drop off. They even wrote it down. They wrote "Finery" on her paper. :/ She can spell her name. If you can't figure it out, just ask. We don't go regularly, but in the dozen or so times we have gone, they've never gotten it right and it's different each time. We always say and spell it for them. Honest mistakes happen with an unusual name, but it feels like they don't even try.

[toawh]

When I go places that require me to give my last name I spell it out for the receptionist as he/she types it and I have never yet had it spelled right!

[5LittleMonkeys]

I've NEVER had anyone spell my name right upon the first, second or even third attempt. Even if it is written or typed out right in front of them they still give me an A.M.Y or an A.I.M.E.E. Never just one E. I really couldn't care less. Sometimes I correct people and sometimes I don't. Meh, I have better things to worry about.

 

People misspell and\or mispronounce my dd9's name all the time too. I spelled it Kira with the I making a long e sound. Most people say it with a long i sound and spell it with an ei. I choose to spell it the way I did because we had to have a 4 letter name (all our dc have 4 letter names), knowing that it would probably get spelled wrong. It doesn't bother her either.

 

Like a leaf on the wind...like water off a duck's back...:D

[Kirch]

First of all, "Lukas" is NOT a creative spelling. It's a completely normal, widely accepted option for spelling the name.

 

Secondly, as I've said repeatedly in this thread, I don't CARE if random people misspell it. I get that there are two accepted spellings of his name and we are going to have to spell it repeatedly for people. My own name is just like that and I've spent my life saying, no it's a K or I spell it with an I at the end.

 

My issue here is that close family, who we see a lot, doesn't care to spell his name correctly. And based on my history with her, I suspect she does it to bug me. I'm not speaking for all the name misspellers here, just this particular one. And I've never actually SAID anything to her because I figured she didn't know she was spelling it wrong. Only now she's seen it spelled right on Facebook repeatedly and she is STILL doing it. And that is why I asked the question here, because I wondered, should I, after nearly 10 years, actually say something about it or just let it go? And most people seem to be saying that while they understand it's annoying to see your child's name spelled wrong, that I should indeed just let it go. So that is what I will do...that or tell Lukas to tell her about it! ;)

 

Well, if there's a history of issues w/her and you *really* think she's doing it on purpose, that's a whole different ball of wax. Family issues are so fun!!

 

However, for everyone who has pointed out that the misspeller sees the name in question spelled correctly on facebook and still spells it wrong, that doesn't really surprise me much, especially if it's someone for whom spelling is not s strong point anyway. I think some people just wouldn't notice the discrepancy, especially as long as the two variations register in their brains as the same word, kwim? Some people just don't pick up on things like that, and facebook isn't exactly a setting in which most people do much proofreading or careful observation.

[Spock]

I get what you are saying, but "Lukas" does not fit in the category of a "kre8tiv" spelling. My husband is from Germany, our son's name is spelled Lukas because that is how it is tradtionally spelled there. It is not the same thing as invented spellings of some words, or phonetic spellings of Irish names (Shon for Sean). No one in my family has had trouble remembering that it is a "k' instead of a "c". To the OP, yes, it would bug me, but I would also try to choose to let it go.

 

My daughter's name is misspelled more often than not, for similar reasons. We named her Rebeca (Spanish spelling, to honor her father's heritage). She more often gets it spelled by the two US variations--Rebecca or Rebekah. She just learned from an early age to tell people "Rebeca with one c", and expect it to still be misspelled as often as not.

[Spock]

My nickname, Katie, is the most common spelling. The name that it is short for is common and my parents used the most common spelling. Of course, all of these name variations come in both C and K flavors. I see people mess it up all the time despite using the most common spelling of Katie and my full name. Not only do they misspell it (kathlene, kathlean, katherlene, Cathleen, Kaytee, Katey etc), they replace it with wholly different names and nicknames (Kathy, Cate, Kat, Kathryn, Kaitlyn etc). Life is too short to be bothered by it. I only draw a line if they decide to CALL me Cat or Kathy. Um, no. Fine names. Not my name. I don't even mind if they call me Kate instead so I'd say I am pretty generous.

 

My name is Kathleen. I am called Katherine/Catherine and assorted variants thereof all the time, as well as the 1000 variants of Kathleen/Kathy/Katie. Unless it's family, I just don't care anymore.

 

(My husband calls me Catalina most of the time, and has a very strong accent in English, so my name comes out Kah-tha-len even when he tries for my English name. From him, I like it, but not from anyone else.)

[stripe]

I had a little girl once misspell "Margaret" on a paper for co-op. It's her given name (although she does go by a nickname most of the time).

 

yeah, I once taught a kindergarten class where this one little girl never could spell her name right, and spelled it differently every time, and actually she was using her middle name so sometimes people would come and refer to her by her first name and she wouldn't recognize that she was being addressed. Her name was very long and hard to spell, though, but was obviously hers as it started with a Q. It was a name from her ethnic background, not an invented name. No one minded, including her and her parents, though, about the spelling. It was actually pretty cute. I admired her work in cranking out a long series of letters from her name every time.

[Trish]

Sorry this offends you and it is possible that the offending parties do it on purpose. Having said that, I feel that if someone chooses to spell their child's name in an unconventional way, or if they choose an unusual name to begin with, they should accept that people will get it wrong forever and always. This is an annoyance you, quite frankly, invited upon yourself.

 

Honestly, it bugs me when people get mad that people spell their child's name "wrong" by spelling it right. "Lucas" is the most widely accepted spelling of your son's name. By giving him a "kre8tiv" spelling, you should be able to accept that people will forget and spell it the usual way. It is self-centered to hope that people will be able to remember the unusual spelling of your individual child's name out of all the other names in their life. If they happen to spell it "right" by spelling it "Lukas," that's just gravy.

 

:iagree: I am forever trying to memorize unconventional spellings of kids' names, and it's hard. Seeing the name on a birth announcement doesn't make it easier. Because it gets jumbled up, especially if I happen to know anyone else with the same name, I have to remember WHICH one had the unsual spelling, ugh, and then it comes up again, and I think, "I thought I had this figured out" but my brain blanks out on it again. And yes, I should keep a master list or something. And certainly a relative should try harder, but in the end, as long as they're pronouncing it correctly, does it really matter? (I mean if they're not writing it on a cake, or paying for skywriting, or engraving it...)

[J-rap]

Let it go. Most people (including myself) don't have a finely tuned ability to remember everyone's correct name spelling, even family members. (In our extended family, there is a Jon, a Jonathon, and a John, and I still sometimes mix them up.)

 

We gave one of our children a name that they will have to spell for people for the rest of their lives. I am happy when people just remember how to pronounce it! It's our own fault, of course. :)