Ohdanigirl Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 and would be willing to help me out. Ds is really struggling with his clarification essay, and I don't think I am of much help. I was hoping some one would be willing to share one paragraph and thesis from this assignment. For some reason, the teacher example is not cutting it for us. I have emailed his teacher, but thought i'd go elsewhere as well. Thanks. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourisenough Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Thesis: One of the things I cherish most in my life, the family dinners I share with my grandparents leads the list because we have a chance to nourish our bodies with good food, learn more about each other’s lives, and get to rest for a few hours with our loved ones. Paragraph: First of all, nourishing our bodies with healthy food at our family dinners is greatly important. This is special to me because healthy eating habits are key for an active lifestyle. My sisters and I all play a competitive sport and are encouraged to eat as healthfully as possible whenever we can. Studying recipes and helping cook the meal gives me more perspective on how easy it is to stay able-bodied by eating the right foods. Helping to compose these elaborate, delicious, but also healthful meals is great for our education in cooking. I also relish these moments because, I have to confess, I am a bit of a food snob and on Sundays, we go big or go home! Whereas, during the week we make meals with only a few key ingredients, for instance: chicken breast, potatoes, broccoli, and crusty bread, on Sundays we print exotic recipes from the internet. My family usually goes to the grocery and picks out ingredients to try new and foreign foods. Because my grandfather was born and raised in South Texas in a family of Hispanic origin, his mother used to slow cook beans all day, get up at three a.m. and make sizzling hot tortillas, and eat jalapeño peppers like bananas. My Grandpa has definitely made an impact on how adventuresome my sisters and I are in the kitchen. In the end, getting together for a family dinner on Sunday encourages all of us to try new foods and eat a more varied and healthful diet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankcassiesmom Posted October 25, 2012 Share Posted October 25, 2012 Goodness. After seeing that example I understand why my son's got torn to pieces in the comments he got on his! If it's any consolation OPer, my son is struggling with this assignment as well. I'm on my phone and my son's paper is on the laptop or I'd post his. It is nowhere near as rich with long paragraphs as the previous example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted October 25, 2012 Author Share Posted October 25, 2012 Thank you. It seems ds need to develop his thought further. Take the extra step of proving something, and not just telling a story. Here is his thesis, and first paragraph. Thesis: Of all my treasured possessions I covet my pocket watch the most because of its mysterious history, my interest in old things, and the work I did to earn it. To begin with, I know very little about this pocket watch other than it belonged to my great grandfather. I never met my great grandfather while he was still alive and have only seen photos of him. This pocket watch is the only thing I have that connects me to him in any way. It would be exciting to learn that great-grandfather may have gotten the watch while stationed in Korea, or while traveling in other parts of the world. He may have received it as a gift, or quite possibly just purchased it at his local jeweler. Regardless, I must uncover its mysterious history.Unraveling the mysterious history of this watch will be a fun challenge because of my interest in old things. I will post the whole essay once he has revised it again. I hope I can help him better now. Although, I am struggling a little. The prompt they gave doesn't lead me to go into proving a point. Does that make sense? Either way, I see that English 1 is a real step up from WW. I hope the challenge will really help ds to grow. Frankcassiesmom, thanks for posting. Ds was worried that he was the only one not getting it. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankcassiesmom Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I think it's a large step up from WW as well! We worked long and hard on his Intro paragraph today and we're feeling much better already. Now to do a paragraph a day until I can do his D2 conference and do the final copy the morning of his night class LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankcassiesmom Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 Here's my son's final intro paragraph with thesis at the end if it helps. Beloved author Mark Twain once said, “Humor is man’s greatest blessing.†Sometimes it seems like all that humor does is cause a little chuckle now and then, but that chuckle may be more important than anyone realizes. Humor is definitely important to me! It has been a part of my life since I can remember. Even as a young child I would try to make my parents laugh with my jokes. Now that I’m older, not much has changed. I still love to jest and try to get my parents and friends to laugh. Comedy remains a huge part of who I am and how I live my life. On top of giving me a giggle every now and then, it makes people around me happy. Humor helps me when I am stressed by both distracting me and lifting my spirits. My witty jokes and silly antics definitely make me not boring. After I look at all the ways humor helps me, I realize it truly is a blessing in my life. I treasure my comedic nature because it makes me a fun person, it is my coping mechanism, and it makes other people happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourisenough Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I think he did a fine job! I'd love to have some of his humor in my house...my girls are so prickly lately! :) Good luck with the remainder of the paper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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