Jpoy85 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I dont have custody of N, his dad does. Its a very twisted situation and I dont feel like getting into it right now. Hes in PS and I have been left out of the loop despite asking year after year. N came to my house this weekend talking about a new school hes going to. I looked the school up and the teacher he said was his and emailed the teacher asking to get together to try and get involved that way since his dad isnt cooperating. (I didnt word it that way to the teacher). The teacher emailed me and said (which i knew and mentioned in my email) I need to show paperwork that Im allowed to be involved in his schooling "Since youre not listed on any of our paperwork". :angry: I know what paperwork I need to show but who do i show it to? The teacher? The principal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Call the ps and ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 E-mail her back and tell her "I have the paperwork right here. Do I make an appointment to show it to you or to the principal? Please let me know." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 E-mail her back and tell her "I have the paperwork right here. Do I make an appointment to show it to you or to the principal? Please let me know." :iagree:I am glad the ps asked for it. If the situation was different and it was you with custody and your ex calling for info you would want them to. I would message back and say exactly that to the teacher that Jean wrote. And then include documentation to your lawyer to support parental alienation with these antics of your ex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 E-mail her back and tell her "I have the paperwork right here. Do I make an appointment to show it to you or to the principal? Please let me know." Done, hopefully ill hear back soon. :iagree:I am glad the ps asked for it. If the situation was different and it was you with custody and your ex calling for info you would want them to. I would message back and say exactly that to the teacher that Jean wrote. And then include documentation to your lawyer to support parental alienation with these antics of your ex. I do keep documentation and when the time comes to file with court, ill have it to show the judge. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Were I in your shoes I would communicate directly with the school rather than your ex about the school issues. I would also kick up a storm about my child being moved from one school to another without my knowledge or consent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Is "custody" a right to designate primary residence or does your xh have full say on education, health, etc? You may need to find a way to have your name/role documented on health and educational forms. I mean, it may need to be specifically spelled out on court papers that you are to have equal say and access on these issues, and that you need to be listed as "parent". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I would file a copy of any custody paperwork with the office of the school -- that way the principal and his staff have it on hand and can show it to any teachers or staff who ask to see it. When my stepson started kindergarten his mother gave the school a copy of the custody order because they had a checklist that said they wanted a copy if there was an order in effect for any child attending there. She was pretty annoyed when the school bent over backwards to keep us in the loop, but the order specifically said that educational decisions fell into the category of things on which DH was supposed to have a say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Hes in PS and I have been left out of the loop despite asking year after year. Dealing with 2 sets of parents is routine for most schools nowadays. They should be set up to keep both parents in the loop as far as school activities, parent conferences, etc. etc. If you mean you've been asking the old school to keep you informed, hopefully the new one will be better than the old. If you mean you've been asking your ex, you shouldn't need to depend on the ex for the routine school info - you should be able to get it directly from the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 I would go over your custody papers to see what school info you are entitled to. You need to be documenting this sort of thing. Changing your child's school without telling you is not acceptable and at some point if the two of you are going to be in court again, you need all this stuff documented. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 It says BOTH parents are entitled to access to Daycare, School and Medical Info. (it says this word for word). I am asking the school now (after asking his dad) because im tired of not knowing. Why exactly is he in special ed? What does he do all day? (when you ask him, he says "nothing") How is he doing? I have documentation of when ive called the school and asked (in the past and now) and when ive asked his dad. When the time is right ill file with the court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: It sounds like you have a split custody situation - the Dad has full physical custody and you are allowed visitation, and you both share legal custody. It is your right and duty to make sure that you are allowed access - HE does not have to provide it for you. Make copies of your custody order and pass them out like candy. I desperately hope you get answers from the school and that this may help you develop a closer relationship with your son through this difficult custody situation. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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