Jenny in Florida Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 . . . when the very idea of having to make dinner makes you want to cry? I'm having one today. This is complicated by the following facts: 1. In the past week, I have cooked a "real dinner" approximately twice, and I have guilt over skipping it again. 2. No one except my husband is actually home at a normal dinner time tonight. 3. If I do not prepare a meal for him that requires nothing more challenging than microwaving or assembling sandwhiches from pre-sliced ingredients, he won't eat at all. Life has been unusually busy that last couple of weeks, although I can't put my finger on why. And I keep thinking things will let up after whatever the next milestone is, but it doesn't seem to comply. My daughter has a shift at the dance school this afternoon from 3:00 - 6:00. Normally, she would stay after that for a class from 6:30 - 7:30. However, she has an audition tonight that is close to the house, not close to the dance school. So, she's skipping the class and having me drive her home (a little over an hour, round trip, if there's any traffic). My husband will take over from there and drive her to and from the audition when it's time. Meanwhile, my son has one and a half dance classes, beginning at 5:30 and running until 8:00-ish or whenever they decide they are done with him. (He's officially enrolled in the earlier class, but the teacher likes for him to stay and work on some things with the older group.) His dance school is closer to the one where my daughter works than it is to home. So, we will pack dinner and schoolwork for him and hang around at Panera between the time we drop my daughter and the beginning of his class. I'll then go collect my daughter and drive her home, then head back to wait for my son. My husband will be home at some point between 5:30 and 7:00 and will want to eat within a half hour of getting here. My usual go-to for this situation is to put a ready-to-microwave "quesadilla" (which more closely resembles a flat burrito) in the 'fridge for him, but I think at least half of his dinners for the last three weeks have been that. I made him a plate of sandwich fixings last night and don't want to repeat that, either. My daughter will figure out her own meal, probably eating before she leaves for work and then just snacking while she's home between work and the audition. And I'll either pack myself something or not. But I still have to figure out and prep something for my husband and pack something for my son. And I don't want to do it. I just don't. And here's the thing: I could skip it. Neither of them would be mean to me about that. But I know from years of experience that my husband then just wouldn't eat at all, and my son wouldn't get past potato chips and a soda. So, yeah, essentially, I don't wanna, and I have to, anyway, and I hate that I can't do this with more grace. And I figured I'd vent to you all about it. Anybody else want to chime in with what you're whining about today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 no whine...... but if you have a slow cooker, could you toss some stuff in, and then folks can eat when they are there? and if you have a bread maker, you could make fresh bread to go with the stew/soup/chili. 15 minutes now to put things in machines, everyone eats well later, you feel good. and then whine can become wine ;), which is much tastier. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 That's what crockpots are for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I've been sick for a week and haven't cooked one dinner except last night and it was hot dogs and baked fries. Yummy. :glare: My whine? Last night the dog peed in the classroom, it's hardwood floors. She's a lab, she has a lot of urine. She has never done that and had been out more than often yesterday. I think it's the stress of illness (she's my shadow and sits with me when I'm sick) and for some reason the leaves freaked her out. So I mopped up this huge amount last night. Mopped again this morning. In the meantime I decide to move a few things. Remember I've been sick, have no energy. Ds wasn't up, dh had left for work. My brain is edgy and I needed to move something. Long story, but my house is not reflecting my true self right now and aesthetics are important to me. So, I'm moving a bunch of stuff around in the next few weeks to make it work while we resolve the "reflection issue". :glare: Add to that it's been cold, like furnace cold, and now it's hot and stuffy and humid. Add this to a week long headache and the fact someone needs to go real grocery shopping today...yeah, it's one of those days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 That's what crockpots are for! no whine...... but if you have a slow cooker, could you toss some stuff in, and then folks can eat when they are there? and if you have a bread maker, you could make fresh bread to go with the stew/soup/chili. 15 minutes now to put things in machines, everyone eats well later, you feel good. and then whine can become wine ;), which is much tastier. :grouphug: ann I can't think of a thing to put in the crockpot, unfortunately. There is no meal I make that my husband likes that would be easy enough to spoon out of the slow cooker and call it good. (For example, he will eat black bean soup, but not on its own. I usually make fresh tortillas to go with that and grill them with a little margarine. I use the crockpot for things like lentil curry, but that has to go with rice and chutneys and so on.) The only bread maker we have is me. And I don't drink, which I sometimes seriously regret. Thanks for the hugs, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Jenny. Ugh. :grouphug: I've SOOO been there. You know, most people see me as someone who loves homemaking, cooking, baking, etc. And I do. I really do. :001_smile: But oh my goodness, these people want me to fix them dinner EVERY DAY.:tongue_smilie: And my dh, who I adore, love, and cherish. The man doesn't want a sandwich when he gets home from work. He doesn't want a salad. He wants F.O.O.D. As in, a real dinner. Every day. I don't blame him; I really don't. He is stuck at work with whatever I packed him for the day and a vending machine. So, not a lot of choices. When he gets home, he's hungry. I get it. But oh. my. goodness. There are just some days that I cannot think of what to cook. And even if I *could* think of it, I just don't wanna. :D And if I text him at work in the afternoon and ask for suggestions as to what I should make for dinner, I get one of the following: 'Food', 'something I like' , or 'something yummy'. Somedays I just wish everyone would eat a banana and a bowl of cheerios for dinner, and be thankful they're no longer hungry. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Long story, but my house is not reflecting my true self right now and aesthetics are important to me. So, I'm moving a bunch of stuff around in the next few weeks to make it work while we resolve the "reflection issue". :glare: Add to that it's been cold, like furnace cold, and now it's hot and stuffy and humid. Add this to a week long headache and the fact someone needs to go real grocery shopping today...yeah, it's one of those days. I'm sorry you're under the weather -- and that your weather isn't cooperating. I hope you're on the mend soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 . . . when the very idea of having to make dinner makes you want to cry? I'm having one today. Anybody else want to chime in with what you're whining about today? I have one of 'those' days almost every day! Somehow, I usually get dinner made, but oh! the angst I have about it before it's accomplished! I can't list the things I'm whining about until I narrow them down to just the important ones! :lol: Somedays I just wish everyone would eat a banana and a bowl of cheerios for dinner, and be thankful they're no longer hungry. :tongue_smilie: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 But oh my goodness, these people want me to fix them dinner EVERY DAY.:tongue_smilie: Thank you. This made me laugh. Yep, I've done the text-him-at-work thing, and I get responses like, "Can't think of anything, sorry. Should I pick up take out for myself?" Because, you know, that idea doesn't induce guilt for me at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I'm with you. With two kids gone, two in college classes (although they live at home they come and go a lot) and only one kid and dh here full time I'm sick to death of cooking. They've been eating a lot of sandwiches lately. Poor things. I just can't seem to get any cooking "oomph" going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mybluesky Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Wait...making sandwiches doesn't count as cooking? There goes half my repetoire! Seriously, when I'm not well, I stick with the minimum for cooking. Heating up Prego and boiling noodles is big cooking for me. I also find I only really want to cook when I'm hungry, and my appetite is usually pretty much gone when I'm sick. I feel for you and totally understand!! Maybe go through a recipe site online, or a wonderful food blog, and find some inspiration? Some of those sites actually make me want to cook (and I almost never want to cook!) I'm hoping one of my kids will love cooking, because neither my husband nor I like it, but we do like to eat! :-) Hugs to you! I'm sure your dh really means it when he asks if he could pick up take-out, and wouldn't want you to feel guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 If we didn't eat our main meal of the day at lunch, we would never have a hot meal. My husband will sometimes either eat the left overs for dinner when he gets home or pack the left overs to eat for his lunch the next day. For the past few months, I have planned the meals for the week and shopped on Sundays. Amazingly this has been easy to follow. I am so thankful to someone on the Hive for sharing the idea of a meal-type per day. Monday - pasta Tuesday - bean or soup Wednesday - beef/pork Thursday - chicken Fri & Sat - leftovers Sun - dinner out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 23, 2012 Author Share Posted October 23, 2012 Ummm your husband won't eat because he doesn't have tortillas????? I use the crockpot TONS. Today I am using it to make a pork loin roast since I will be gone all afternoon to take my daughter to a neighboring town for violin and back ( an hour drive each way). They will have salad and maybe some of our canned pears with it. I have Mexican lasagna in the crockpot. Once again, my husband is sufficient enough to make a salad. Cowboy soup and my oldest can make jiffy cornbread to put in the oven to go with it. But if they are incapable, make the cornbread that morning. I have 10 more options like this. The crockpot is my best friend. We're vegans. (Well, my husband is vegetarian, eats dairy products and eggs.) So, pork, lasagna and baking mixes are all out for us. And, no, he really will just skip a meal if it's too much trouble to get onto a plate or into a bowl. The idea of him making salad or cornbread is honestly funny. We're all a little weird about food, to be honest. Each of us has quirks that make finding a single meal we'll all enjoy kind of a hassle. When we're all home for dinner, everyone gives a little and compromises. But, if I'm feeding one person at a time, it changes the equation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 No suggestions, just sympathy and :grouphug:. This is tech week for ds8's play, so we are running crazy too. And this weekend is the Fl Theatre Conference, so we will be driving 1 1/2 hr back and forth for that Thurs-Sat. And this is my first experience of trying to manage a tech week or anything else major for ds8 with the new baby, who is 1 month old now and never EVER wants to be put down. :001_huh: We're eating leftovers, sandwiches, and drive thrus all week. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 My approach is to make dinner for myself, and if the rest of them don't like what I'm having, it's their job to find something to eat. Seriously, though, I live with the worst picky eaters in the world, and it's exhausting to always have to make something that everyone will eat. I refuse to try anymore. Can you just stock things in the fridge that people will eat and let them get it themselves? (Thinking mostly of your dh here.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 WOW, just wow. The vegan I can understand but won't get a plate.:tongue_smilie: My husband is an awesome cook. I taught my 17 year old to cook and he is an awesome cook as well. I've taught my 15 yo and he can do it, but doesn't like to. I'm planning on teaching my 8yo this summer. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to ask my oldest to cook and I'm not even there!!! Once I got a call that I had to go pick up my husband's glasses and I was in the middle of cooking. I showed oldest the recipe and he continued from where I left off!! It is a life skill is needed by all people. I would really feel guilty as a mom if I sent my boys off unable to get down a plate because it was too much trouble!!!!! My son can and does cook his own meals. My husband can do some simple stuff. The problem is that he has some health issues that leave him really exhausted by the time he manages to drive home. Since he's not especially interested in food, and he's tired and sore by the time he gets here, he'll choose to skip it if the meal isn't appealing and easy to serve himself and eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Don't let take out make you feel guilty! Good grief girl, everyone needs a break sometimes. I think you are being too hard on yourself! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Aaaaand, just to make the day complete: 1. I pushed myself through to making a pot of pasta sauce and a tray of garlic rolls, then went out and bought mozzerella and assembled an individual tray of baked shells. I plated it and left it in the 'fridge with microwaving instructions and left rolls in the oven to stay warm-ish. Bonus was that my son ate a big plate of pasta for a late lunch before we left. 2. My husband discovered a small crisis when he got home from work and ended up not eating at all, anyway. 3. I logged into the gmail account I never use and found a nasty gram from my crazy "mother," telling me she's written a "lightly fictionalized" book about her experiences with me that has found a publisher. 4. My son told me I was boring. (Okay, not really, and he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. It was actually fine that he said what he did, and true. But it wasn't my favorite thing to hear.) I am now sitting here, watching the season of Weeds that is finally on Netflix, and I'm about to blow my diet and eat something very bad for me and wait for it to be tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 That's what crockpots are for! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fischerl Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 :grouphug: Sometimes Netflix and something not on the diet is just the ticket! Just make sure that's the exception and not the habit! :D When it's hard for me to get inspired to cook (often, these days), I watch cooking show clips online (4 or 5 minutes). Sometimes I'll go try to make what I just watched. Do you ever check out Foodnetwork.com? You can search "rice" or some staple like that and see what the chefs are cooking up. Doesn't matter whether you have all the ingredients in the recipe. I'm the queen of the substitution. :lol: Or, search "crock pot". Those meals might be easier than you think. Hugs again! I think you need a cup of hot tea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 3. I logged into the gmail account I never use and found a nasty gram from my crazy "mother," telling me she's written a "lightly fictionalized" book about her experiences with me that has found a publisher. Ok I'm sure there is a back story to this that I missed but :eek: "What on earth". :grouphug: for you and have double whatever bad thing you are eating - you deserve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Ok I'm sure there is a back story to this that I missed but :eek: "What on earth". :grouphug: for you and have double whatever bad thing you are eating - you deserve it. We cut her (and my father) out of our lives two decades ago, which was one of the top two or three great decisions I've ever made. Recently, she took it upon herself to contact my daughter (with whom she has no relationship) by e-mail through my daughter's Facebook fan page. My daughter shut her down and told her not to contact her again. But since the woman included a threat to contact my son, also, I wrote and told her not to bother any of us, ever. She responded with several paragraphs about what a terrible person I am and how I've "poisoned" my children's minds. (Obviously, that is the only reason neither of them would want to pursue a relationship with a person who did her level best to ruin our family's life. Yep, it must be me.) I should delete this. I should, but I don't want to bother any of my family with it. So, I'm spewing here. Thank you for the hugs. Really. I need them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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