Surely I can't be the only one....

[AlmiraGulch]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

[justLisa]

Personally I think I need my own group. I'm not sure what I'd call it.

 

Mediocre and not quite enough or way too much of everything? :lol:

 

I'm always an odd ball

[Nakia]

You're not alone! I'm an oddball too. :D

[WTMCassandra]

I'm guaranteed to be either the most liberal or the most conservative person in any room. And I don't fit the mold for either.

 

To make it worse, I really like people who like to discuss the realm of ideas. (This is apparently quite rare, to my shock.)

[catz]

Sure, I feel that way. I don't fit your mold exactly, but I do feel like an oddball/outsider most of the time.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Card carrying member here.

 

But ya gotta admit, when you do make those rare in-line connections...they are just that much more special. Thank the stars for this forum, you can find about anything here.

[WTMCassandra]

Card carrying member here.

 

But ya gotta admit, when you do make those rare in-line connections...they are just that much more special. Thank the stars for this forum, you can find about anything here.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[melissad2]

I never feel like I fit in. I never have.

[Zebra]

When I start feeling like I fit in, that's when I get nervous :lol:!!!

[Elinor Everywhere]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)? Most definitely!!

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either). Yup. I'm a true Independent, and sometimes I vote one party, sometimes another (unlike a few "independent" friends of mine who still vote a strict party line, but want to sound independent).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals). Oy. I'm a homeschooler, which means I'm supposed to stay home, be domestic, where denim, and NOT DRINK. My reality is that I skedaddle off to happy hour/wine lunch 1-2 times a week with friends and can weekends are made for fun. My husband cooks, I'm not creative, and I can't sew. It's no surprise I have no homeschooling friends. :tongue_smilie:

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too). THIS. I'm so sorry my dh makes a lot of money. This doesn't mean we don't give to charity, help family members, etc. We do that. A lot. But one perk of my dh flying all over the place is frequent flier miles, and by golly we're gonna use 'em. And we have a rental condo (no, I am NOT a slumlord. Our condo is nice & we may live it in when we retire). None of this makes me un-noble.

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

I don't post enough on this board and so I'm not in the "in" group here. I don't hang out with homeschoolers because they freak when they see my wine area. I don't work anymore, and we moved away from where we lived when I did work, so I don't have those friends handy. I'm an older parent, so I don't fit with the 30's crowd who have kids my age. My worldview has been tempered by all our travels and living abroad. Where in the heck DO I fit in?!! :D Well, most of my friends work, but they have a free schedule and can get together during weekday afternoons. Some are sailing friends we've had forever. And luckily, I really like my dog. :lol:

[Catwoman]

FWIW, I don't view you as being unusual or an outsider at all, and I'm sure most of us feel the exact same way about you. We don't have to agree with each other on every topic in order to like each other. (I do think you and I agree on quite a bit, though! :tongue_smilie:)

 

Hey, there are more than a few people here who have completely different perspectives than I do on subjects like religion and divorce, but I still get along wonderfully with them on other topics, and we have even exchanged fun PMs. They are very nice people, and so what if we disagree on some things, right? As long as people are civil and respectful of others' opinions, it's all good. And if a few people are not nice when they disagree with you, ignore them and focus on the people who are nice to you.

 

Honestly, if you're feeling like you don't belong, please know that it really is just something in your own head. You absolutely belong, and I always enjoy reading your posts. :grouphug:

[CyndiLJ]

I'm guaranteed to be either the most liberal or the most conservative person in any room. And I don't fit the mold for either.

 

To make it worse, I really like people who like to discuss the realm of ideas. (This is apparently quite rare, to my shock.)

 

Me too, and it always stuns me. How can I be viewed as SO liberal sometimes, and yet SO conservative at others. I mean, how can that actually happen?

 

But it does.

 

Cindy

[Dandelion]

I can relate...

 

I'm too relaxed for the classical homeschoolers but not relaxed/radical enough for the unschoolers I know.

 

I worked full-time for 20 years before homeschooling and we sort of fell into homeschooling (I homeschool because that's what is best for DS - school was a terrible fit for him). So I relate much better to working moms - but my former colleagues find it hard to understand why I left a great career to homeschool. On the flip side, I find it very difficult to relate to moms who have always stayed home. So I feel stuck in a weird in-between place.

 

I have a child with special needs, but I approach his needs very differently from many of the other parents I know who have kids like mine. So even there, I find it hard to relate to people at times.

 

I'm an older mom (41 now). When we do playdates with DD4's friends, I'm always the oldest mom there (most of these moms are in their 20's to early 30's). Although there have been a couple exceptions, I usually find it very difficult to connect with these moms beyond a superficial level.

 

Although I identify strongly with one political party, I hold several views that don't jive with that party's platform at all.

 

My faith is important to me, but for various very good reasons, our family hasn't attended church in years.

 

So...that explains why my two best friends are women I connected with in ways completely unrelated to my kids, homeschooling, or work status. I'm so grateful to have them. :)

[Desert Rat]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

You sound so much like me! Add in that I'm way too hard and expect way too much of myself.

[Unicorn.]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

I could have written most of this post. Take out the part about the job and the rock star hubby, and the bit about not identifying as a mom first, and you have me. FWIW, politically I call myself a Republicrat. I don't fit in anyone's box either. Never have.

[YourFidgetyFriend]

I don't feel like I fit in anywhere, but with other homeschoolers least of all. When I go to homeschool events I'm usually guaranteed to be the only minority, the only single parent, and the only person with a full time occupation. I'm also usually the only or one of very few who has an only child and is not at all religious.

[Pawz4me]

I've always been mildly fascinated by our society's apparent need to put people in a box and stick labels on them. Why do we do that?

[AlmiraGulch]

Wow! I honestly didn't realize so many people felt the same way.

 

This is not reallly new for me. I left 8th grade and instead of going to the same high school as all of my friends, I chose a magnet school in the middle of the city. And I apparently didn't tell any of my friends I wouldn't be with them in the fall. The school I went to was quite small and extremely diverse. There was no "popular" group. We all kind of just were who we were.

 

When I went to college I pledged a sorority, just because I didn't know anyone and thought I'd make friends that way. I was president of my pledge class, but a couple of months in I realized how stupid it all was to me and I quit. They said they'd never had a president quit before, but I just couldn't be who they wanted us all to be.

 

And so on....you get the idea.

 

Thanks for sharing! It's good to know I'm not alone in my awkward, excluded world. :D

[AlmiraGulch]

FWIW, I don't view you as being unusual or an outsider at all, and I'm sure most of us feel the exact same way about you. We don't have to agree with each other on every topic in order to like each other. (I do think you and I agree on quite a bit, though! :tongue_smilie:)

 

Hey, there are more than a few people here who have completely different perspectives than I do on subjects like religion and divorce, but I still get along wonderfully with them on other topics, and we have even exchanged fun PMs. They are very nice people, and so what if we disagree on some things, right? As long as people are civil and respectful of others' opinions, it's all good. And if a few people are not nice when they disagree with you, ignore them and focus on the people who are nice to you.

 

Honestly, if you're feeling like you don't belong, please know that it really is just something in your own head. You absolutely belong, and I always enjoy reading your posts. :grouphug:

 

Awww...thanks, Catwoman! That's really sweet.

[AlmiraGulch]

I've always been mildly fascinated by our society's apparent need to put people in a box and stick labels on them. Why do we do that?

 

I think it's the human condition. It's just what "We" do. I don't know why, though, and it makes me uncomfortable.

[jamajo]

I think we put people in boxes b/c it helps us to feel good about ourselves.

We all walk around with insecurities and we don't want to be open to others for fear of rejection. If we prejudge them first we protect ourselves. It takes a very secure person to just accept someone at face value and to let them in w/o expectations.

 

I don't know intuitively that's just what I think. I'm a bit clairvoyant. :D

[happyhomemaker]

I have thought from a young age that everyone got some kind of manual on life, and that I was skipped. Like PP, I can be labeled as too liberal or too conservative. I went to a church once where all of the women decided to try gardening for the first time during the same spring. I missed the memo. I have felt out of place my entire life and have tried to figure out what is wrong with me. I have spent years praying that I could figure it out, but honestly reading posts on this board has made me see that maybe there's nothing wrong with me. Maybe. :tongue_smilie:

[Rosie_0801]

FWIW, I don't view you as being unusual or an outsider at all, and I'm sure most of us feel the exact same way about you. We don't have to agree with each other on every topic in order to like each other. (I do think you and I agree on quite a bit, though! :tongue_smilie:)

 

Hey, there are more than a few people here who have completely different perspectives than I do on subjects like religion and divorce, but I still get along wonderfully with them on other topics, and we have even exchanged fun PMs. They are very nice people, and so what if we disagree on some things, right? As long as people are civil and respectful of others' opinions, it's all good. And if a few people are not nice when they disagree with you, ignore them and focus on the people who are nice to you.

 

Honestly, if you're feeling like you don't belong, please know that it really is just something in your own head. You absolutely belong, and I always enjoy reading your posts. :grouphug:

 

What she said.

The key to fitting in around here is to avoid thinking you don't. If you talk enough that people recognise your avatar or user name, you're part of the gang. It's a very large gang. :D

[PrincessMommy]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

With the exception of the religious aspect, I could have written this myself.

 

I'm also a relative newbie here so I know I'm not exactly "on the inside" anyway... it usually doesn't bug me, but some days it does. :grouphug: Mostly, I find people here pretty informative and funny.

[Durriyyah]

I've always been mildly fascinated by our society's apparent need to put people in a box and stick labels on them. Why do we do that?

 

:iagree:

 

I guess I never thought of myself as fitting in or not. I figure I'm not going to fit in with everyone on everything... so enjoy what I do have in common, and what I don't, then move on. My religion makes me feel like an immigrant in my own country (Muslim convert), and though that's a separate issue, it comes with me everywhere. I don't think it is this board, or any other but instead the mass media machine at work. :tongue_smilie:

 

My religion sets me into a very small minority group and having a blended family in homeschooling circles is rare, but there's still a lot I have in common: we live with fairly conservative values, we put our family at a high priority, we try to live with a small eco footprint, I've both worked as a single mom and stayed home as a married woman, we live frugally most of the time, we have to eat with various food sensitivities, etc.

 

I figure one of those things are most likely a common thread I have with any given person. :) They may not be my best friend, but at least I can hold a conversation.

 

The biggest hurdle for me in general is trying to overcome all the misconceptions people have about Islam and Muslim women. It's hard when people think they know so much about you just by seeing a piece of cloth on your head... it feels like you aren't starting from scratch. KWIM?

[PeacefulChaos]

I don't fit in anywhere. :D

IRL I'm like, always alone in a crowd of people. I'm not particularly great at small talk (I'm sort of socially awkward unless I know people - I try to be nice, but I'm totally at a loss for what to say in small talk situations). But when I do know people, I talk a LOT. My social awkwardness leads people to believe I'm shy and introverted, which I'm not - I LOVE being around people and just listening to everything, and participating when I feel I have something to contribute.

The biggest thing I notice is that people formulate opinions about who I am that are usually completely incorrect. I don't smile a ton - not because I'm not happy, I just am pretty passive in my facial expressions lol - and so I constantly get asked if I'm tired or 'What's wrong?' When I was in a musical last year and smiled the whole time, I had 3 different people compliment me on how I looked when smiling. :001_huh: Come on, people, it's not like I NEVER smile! :lol: In the musicals, I'm not a huge fan of all the makeup because it makes me break out - and because when I get home it feels oh so gross til I scrub it all off! - so people assume I'm not a 'girly girl' or that I don't like makeup at all. (I wear makeup every time I leave the house, usually. Unless I'm just grocery shopping or something. Plus, despite my dislike of the caked on makeup, part of me still thinks it is fun! And I LOVE getting my hair done.) I bought shoes that had pink on them and people said they were so surprised, because pink is so not like me. ....:confused:....

On top of that, most homeschoolers around here are a little too conservative for me (though I may still do something with them, but not so far) and the non-homeschoolers seem to sometimes not know what to say to me, as though I'm a totally different person just because I homeschool my kids.

Granted, there has been some awkwardness due to some circumstances that are beyond my/my family's control, which I think made some people unsure of what to say to me. That does seem to (FINALLY) be passing, though. (A year later!)

Oh, and sometimes on here and IRL, I tend to feel judged a little in the opposite direction of the PP in regards to finances. (I don't think anyone is a slum lord, though. ;) ) I tend to feel a little bit of 'You're poor because you/DH didn't go to college' (in a looking down the nose at me way) even though no one necessarily says that to ME, even though it may be true (and those choices of ours are something I'm comfortable with, which makes it even more odd that I sometimes feel like it's insulting to me :tongue_smilie: ) . I also don't agree with a lot of the other poster's opinions on college in general. Same thing IRL - that and our age. :) DH and I got married 11 years ago, when I was 18 and he was 21, and started having kids a couple years later. Most of the people around us got married in their mid twenties and/or later and/or didn't have kids until they were in their late twenties/early thirties.

I don't have a problem with any of the ways that other people do things - just sometimes when people talk about how they are SO glad they did things THIS way, it makes me feel a little like they are insulting my way if it is different. I have gotten better with that since being on here, though - and I've changed my views on some things and understand more differing opinions, too. :)

[LittleIzumi]

 

The biggest hurdle for me in general is trying to overcome all the misconceptions people have about Islam and Muslim women. It's hard when people think they know so much about you just by seeing a piece of cloth on your head... it feels like you aren't starting from scratch. KWIM?

 

I actually saw a short blog post about this today. It was so sad. (A non-Muslim wrapped a scarf around her head to look like a hijab to see how people treated her. There were no happy surprises.)

imperfectwriting.tumblr.com/post/33933007179/i-went-to-the-mall-and-a-little-girl-called-me-a

 

 

And another vote for not fitting in a little box. Boxes are stuffy anyway!

[Sctigermom]

Hello, would you like to be in my special group I call misfits? Lol yes! I've never fit in. It started way back in kindergarten. I didn't have my first friend until 5th grade. I moved in 9th grade and never really found a place in high school. I didn't go to college and married straight outta high school. So I don't really identify with people who spent years at college. I'm a SAHM who hasn't worked in years. I'm way to hippie for the mainstream and not hippie enough for hippies. We homeschool so non homeschoolers don't really fit, but I'm not fanatical and just might send my kids to school next year so that doesn't go over well with our homeschool groups. I've become used to having aquantiences, but not true friends. I have my hubby and kids and I will have to be happy with that.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I'm too conservative, too liberal, I push my kids too hard, or I don't push them enough. I'm too picky, I'm not picky enough, I'm unforgiving, or too understanding.

 

I think when another person doesn't like what you do/say/believe that person needs to label it in a negative way.

 

I've never been one to care what others think. Of course, I've been accused of that too. :D

[T'smom]

I also don't fit in anywhere. In most things, I'm extremely liberal, but my lifestyle seems to make people think that I'm conservative. (For example, I do not have a problem with other people drinking, I just don't happen to do it.)

 

I do feel like there is enough diversity on these boards that everyone can fit in. Yeah, there are a lot of conservative Christians, but there are plenty of people who are not. I think people notice opposing views more than the ones that agree with them.

 

I do wish I had IRL friends that I had more in common with.

[AdventureMoms]

Lol, I don't think I've ever fit in anywhere in my whole life! I guess I'm used to it by now. I'm a lesbian athiest SAHM homeschooler...just those 4 pretty much make me not fit in with any group and there are many others...my math/engineering background also makes me pretty odd. The fact that I have travelled but now live in a small town makes me strange. THe fact that I'm an Engineer (very masculine field) who enjoys lots of domestic hobbies (sewing, knitting, etc) freaks people out. I could go on and on. Growing up my whole family were sports fanatics who liked to watch TV and had zero interest in books or academic stuff. I was the sports-hating academic bookworm. (My family is great, btw, and have always accepted me, but I still didn't fit in or feel like anyone UNDERSTOOD me.)

 

It really does not bother me anymore. I'm not sure how I got to this point, but it kinda just is what it is. I struggled with it in the past, but I don't think about it that much now. Yup, I'm odd. I have a lot of people in my life who, whether they "get it" or not (usually not) do care for me a great deal. I'm happy to be able to do things in a way that works for me and my family. I'm happy to have a wife who gets it, and friends and family who are willing to smile an nod along with me even if they don't get it. Sometimes it's frustrating and lonely, but it's worthwhile.

[annandatje]

The feeling that one does not fit in seems to be fairly ubiquitous.

[mommymilkies]

I have never ever felt like I fit in. Honestly, at this point I'm resigned to being a lonely crazy cat lady. Not even when I'm old. I'm already there. :lol:

[AlmiraGulch]

The feeling that one does not fit in seems to be fairly ubiquitous.

 

So what you're saying is that I'm unique. Just like everyone else. :D

[AlmiraGulch]

I have never ever felt like I fit in. Honestly, at this point I'm resigned to being a lonely crazy cat lady. Not even when I'm old. I'm already there. :lol:

 

Me, too! I kind of relish that, though. I've already started practicing yelling "Hey you kids! Get off of my lawn!" at all the neighbor kids. Of course they just laugh at me because I've told them I'm practicing to be the cranky old cat lady at the end of the road. :D

[Lisbeth]

.

Edited October 23, 2012 by Lisbeth

[fraidycat]

You're not the only one. :D

 

I don't fit in any boxes, either.

[Cafdog]

:iagree:

 

I guess I never thought of myself as fitting in or not. I figure I'm not going to fit in with everyone on everything... so enjoy what I do have in common, and what I don't, then move on. My religion makes me feel like an immigrant in my own country (Muslim convert), and though that's a separate issue, it comes with me everywhere. I don't think it is this board, or any other but instead the mass media machine at work. :tongue_smilie:

 

My religion sets me into a very small minority group and having a blended family in homeschooling circles is rare, but there's still a lot I have in common: we live with fairly conservative values, we put our family at a high priority, we try to live with a small eco footprint, I've both worked as a single mom and stayed home as a married woman, we live frugally most of the time, we have to eat with various food sensitivities, etc.

 

I figure one of those things are most likely a common thread I have with any given person. :) They may not be my best friend, but at least I can hold a conversation.

 

The biggest hurdle for me in general is trying to overcome all the misconceptions people have about Islam and Muslim women. It's hard when people think they know so much about you just by seeing a piece of cloth on your head... it feels like you aren't starting from scratch. KWIM?

 

...and you forgot that you have a DD in an uncommon sport which is mostly filled with boys! LOL (Says a fellow fencing mama. ) :lol:

[Joanne]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

I could have written this myself, word for word. Or, at least similar specifics.

[TranquilMind]

I never feel like I fit in. I never have.

 

Me too.

[PrincessMommy]

I could have written most of this post. Take out the part about the job and the rock star hubby, and the bit about not identifying as a mom first, and you have me. FWIW, politically I call myself a Republicrat. I don't fit in anyone's box either. Never have.

 

Eek gads!! Somehow I missed the rock star hubby part when I posted. Yeah, don't really have one of those either. ;)

[TravelingChris]

You know what? No one here is just like me and that is fine. I like different people. And I feel some similarity with lots of the people here and the people that are racing through my mind are pagans, atheists, Catholics, Orthodox and Protestants of every variety along with LDS, JW, and I am sure I am missing some. I like people here who are Democrats, Republicans, Independents and lots of people from other countries where I may not even be sure which parties exist or how they vote. So some of the people I like here are previously divorced or never marrieds. No one IRL is just as I don't meet many people here who are of a different political party or a different religion. Most people I meet IRL here are in a few professions which aren't even that well represented on this board. So this board serves as my conduit to a much broader world than I currently experience. I value that.

[kalanamak]

I'm an oddball, and instead of pining for a "group", I thank my lucky stars for one or two friends at a time. I don't even have to have much in common with them, details-wise, but they need to be reasonably intelligent, prone to laughter, a little worried about the way the world is going, kindly, etc.

 

I'm actually fairly compartmentalized. There is one very elderly effeminate man who READS everything I loan him. Amazing. There is over 60 ex-biker chick who cusses up a storm and trades funny stories with me. There is a space-cadet ex-nurse who regales me with DIL from H*ll stories. There is a sweet, beautiful nurse from my (rural) homestate who I trade "remember when" stories with. Etc. You get the picture.

[tyydae]

Anyone else ever feel like they don't fit in here (or into any "group", really)?

 

I used to homeschool (waaay to "out there" for most of the people I know) but now I don't (waaay to conformist for most of the other people I know).

 

I'm too liberal to be a Conservative, but too conservative to be a Liberal. (I'm actually a card carrying Libertarian, but I don't really fit that mold perfectly, either).

 

I don't identify with any religious group. In fact, I'm sort of anti-religion.

 

I have a buttoned-up professional job during the day (boring), but hang out in bars with my rock star hubby at night (questionable morals).

 

The thread about the middle class almost made me feel attacked or judged (or that I would be) because of the amount of money that I make, and what I do or don't do with it. And why anyone cares is beyond me. (ETA: Ok, I admit that I can be guilty of this myself. When people I know cry "poor" but still do certain things that I consider luxuries, borrow money they never repay, etc., I roll my eyes. So yeah, I guess I'm guilty sometimes, too).

 

I adore my children, but I don't identify first as a mother. I have a lot of things that make up who I am, and that's just one of them (which freaks out a lot of people).

 

Often when I read things here, or when talking to acquaintances in real life, I feel very judged (even when it isn't directed at me, specifically). I'm not particularly bothered by it, because I'm comfortable with my choices in life. I do wish, though, that people would learn to accept the whole person, rather than having to label them and, as such, make one overarching judgment about them.

 

I keep coming back here because I've gained some valuable insight and wisdom, had some great laughs, shed some tears and even gotten my blood boiling a bit over the last few years. Same reasons I keep socializing with some of the same people I do in real life. I just can't help to feel somehow....I don't know....marginalized, because my choices and belief systems just don't fit into anyone's box.

 

Anyone else feel that way? For some reason it's kind of bugging me today, this feeling like an outsider everywhere I go.

 

Wow! I could have written this myself.

 

It feels good to know that I am not alone.

[Maela]

I know I'm a little late to this thread, but I saw it and read it all, and I feel a little better now. :-).

 

I also don't fit in a box, and it's really been bothering me. I have some good friends, but lately I feel like such an outsider when I'm with them. Or anywhere where I live, really. I'm not Christian (or any other mainstream religion - in fact I identify mostly with Pagan religions), I homeschool, I don't feel the need to dress super modestly, I home birthed, I breastfed for more than a year, I'm a minimalist, I'm not super crafty, I'm a tree-hugger/hippie, I don't spank my kids.

 

we belong to a wonderful UU church, but there I'm way too mainstream. I don't spank, but I'm not really a gentle discipline mother. And I have a few libertarian/conservative views. I didn't graduate from college (and i'm not planning on going back), i'm a SAHM with no desire to ever get a 'real' career.

 

So, no matter who I'm with, I'm the crazy one with some really weird views on things. The non-Christian one is the one that has been bothering me the most lately. I feel really judged. :-(. Except when I'm at church (UU). I feel like my friends are 'sad for me'. Christianity is a huge part of their lives and so it's me tioned a lot, which is understandable, but it's kind of talked about as if everyone is Christian and that is the good way of life. They know I'm not Christian, but I think they either forget sometimes or they want to set a good example. Or something.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[KungFuPanda]

You all sound normal to me. Being 'different' is the new fitting in. People are as proud of that today as they were of 'belonging to a group' 20-30 years ago. I think this is just where the pendulum is sitting today.

[Dandelion]

Along with many of the things you listed, I actually enjoy debating with others on hot topics and don't hold a grudge after. I think the problem these days is you really can't do that in real life.

 

This is a big one for me too, especially during election season. Everyone is so quick to take offense and/or afraid of causing offense that debating the issues is nearly impossible. If you're anywhere near Colorado Springs, let's get together for coffee - my treat, and I promise I'll shake your hand afterwards! ;)