Kids sneaking food

[Bonkers247]

Any advice on how to deal with this? It's the sweets that get snuck. The only foods we limit in this house. I have told them several times how disappointed I am with them and stopped buying special treats but there are still some things left in the house. Do I lock all the treats up somewhere so they have to ask for it because with three of them that's going to get old fast. I'm at a loss here.

[Stayseeliz]

I don't keep sweets anywhere my 5yo can see them or she will just eat it. Then lie about it. :glare: This is something we're working on. I do keep a few small things way up at the top of the pantry where she can't see them.

[marbel]

Any advice on how to deal with this? It's the sweets that get snuck. The only foods we limit in this house. I have told them several times how disappointed I am with them and stopped buying special treats but there are still some things left in the house. Do I lock all the treats up somewhere so they have to ask for it because with three of them that's going to get old fast. I'm at a loss here.

 

I've had to hide the treats a few times in my kids' lives. I put the candy or whatever in my room and I decided when the kids can have it. They were not to ask for it; I didn't want nagging all day long. We rarely have problems with that anymore. If anyone's dipping into the sweets too much, it's likely to be me!

[CalicoKat]

Any advice on how to deal with this? It's the sweets that get snuck. The only foods we limit in this house. I have told them several times how disappointed I am with them and stopped buying special treats but there are still some things left in the house. Do I lock all the treats up somewhere so they have to ask for it because with three of them that's going to get old fast. I'm at a loss here.

 

Why are are there sweets in the house?

[SKL]

I have a similar issue here. Not all the time, but it seems to come out when she's under stress. Normal discipline does not work. There seems to be some deep-seated need that isn't getting addressed some other way.

 

I told her that if she wakes in the night hungry, she is free to go into the fridge and eat some fruit or cheese or get some water. So far she hasn't taken me up on that offer.

 

I do limit the sweets within reach/view. She's very smart about finding and hiding them when she sets her mind to it. She'll even dig them out of the garbage.

 

The few sweets I buy (outside of special occasions) are organic, based on some healthy "real food" (fruit, oatmeal), and free of high-fructose corn syrup. However, they get other sweets from other people or for special times like birthdays. It's hard to regulate at times.

[QueenCat]

I found that when we did not limit sweets and they were accessible, the kids ate less of them... because they were no longer the forbidden fruit. For about the first month, they did go overboard, eating too much but then the sweets became less enticing, and everyone seemed to eat them at a more normal pace. Dh convinced me to try it and give it time, as I was tired of saying "no, choose a healthy snack, not that", etc, and hiding thing. I now truly believe that forbidden foods are far more enticing and can lead to food issues if too much effort is focused on them. We switched over to that way of doing things when the youngest was around 6.

[QueenCat]

Why are are there sweets in the house?

 

If mom needs chocolate, which this mom needs, there must be chocolate in the house... at all times. I see nothing wrong with sweets being an available option, as long as all of the health needs are being met.

[2squared]

Well, we eat sweets often. I suppose that'll get me booted off of this forum, but we do. My kids are healthy, active, and have healthy food boundaries.

 

I limit sweets/treats as in: not in place of a meal, not before a meal, and not if you didn't eat your meal. Kids also aren't allowed to hoard/hog sweets such that others don't get an equal portion, and they aren't allowed to eat something I made for a specific reason/occasion.

 

The sweets we have are made by me, not store bought. I'm not sure if that makes a difference other than I am in complete control as to the quantity and type of treats I offer. They are required to ask for sweets, and I usually say yes unless saying yes violates one of my rules posted above.

 

Amazingly, my kids don't sneak treats, and they are extremely good at sharing and dividing them up. So....I guess based on how things work at our house, I would ask if your sweet/treat boundaries are encouraging the behaviors you want.

[mommymilkies]

I found that when we did not limit sweets and they were accessible, the kids ate less of them... because they were no longer the forbidden fruit. For about the first month, they did go overboard, eating too much but then the sweets became less enticing, and everyone seemed to eat them at a more normal pace. Dh convinced me to try it and give it time, as I was tired of saying "no, choose a healthy snack, not that", etc, and hiding thing. I now truly believe that forbidden foods are far more enticing and can lead to food issues if too much effort is focused on them. We switched over to that way of doing things when the youngest was around 6.

 

This completely bombed for us. We tried this for months and we are still paying for that mistake. It just doesn't work for a lot of kids. My oldest would be fine, she has good self control, but not the rest.

[SKL]

Well, we eat sweets often. I suppose that'll get me booted off of this forum, but we do. My kids are healthy, active, and have healthy food boundaries.

 

I limit sweets/treats as in: not in place of a meal, not before a meal, and not if you didn't eat your meal. Kids also aren't allowed to hoard/hog sweets such that others don't get an equal portion, and they aren't allowed to eat something I made for a specific reason/occasion.

 

The sweets we have are made by me, not store bought. I'm not sure if that makes a difference other than I am in complete control as to the quantity and type of treats I offer. They are required to ask for sweets, and I usually say yes unless saying yes violates one of my rules posted above.

 

Amazingly, my kids don't sneak treats, and they are extremely good at sharing and dividing them up. So....I guess based on how things work at our house, I would ask if your sweet/treat boundaries are encouraging the behaviors you want.

 

For some kids, the hoarding / going overboard is part of their wiring or a carryover from a traumatic disruption early in life.

 

I have two daughters around the same age. The youngest really couldn't care less about sweets. Last night she asked to eat her pancakes without any syrup. Her sister is the polar opposite. Besides having a major sweet tooth (and a sour tooth), she reacts extremely to sugar, so letting her eat it at will isn't an option unless I want her to flunk in school and be banned from leaving the house. I had a brother who was similar, and he also got severe boils from eating too much sugar. The other 5 of us were naturally moderate.

 

But yeah, if leaving the sweets around works for all of your kids, that's what you should do.

[QueenCat]

This completely bombed for us. We tried this for months and we are still paying for that mistake. It just doesn't work for a lot of kids. My oldest would be fine, she has good self control, but not the rest.

 

Every family is different, so what works for one may not work for the other. One of the beauties of sharing here..... I did have to bite my tongue a lot in the beginning, as they did go overboard then, but in the end, it worked. Is there occasional over-boarding? Of course..... after all, I live in the house. I should note that grabbing sweet snacks were not okay in the place of a meal (nor were the non-sweet snacks).

[Bonkers247]

Well, we eat sweets often. I suppose that'll get me booted off of this forum, but we do. My kids are healthy, active, and have healthy food boundaries.

 

I limit sweets/treats as in: not in place of a meal, not before a meal, and not if you didn't eat your meal. Kids also aren't allowed to hoard/hog sweets such that others don't get an equal portion, and they aren't allowed to eat something I made for a specific reason/occasion.

 

The sweets we have are made by me, not store bought. I'm not sure if that makes a difference other than I am in complete control as to the quantity and type of treats I offer. They are required to ask for sweets, and I usually say yes unless saying yes violates one of my rules posted above.

 

Amazingly, my kids don't sneak treats, and they are extremely good at sharing and dividing them up. So....I guess based on how things work at our house, I would ask if your sweet/treat boundaries are encouraging the behaviors you want.

We do something similar to what you do but they still sneak it. I'll have to think on this a little bit.

[fairfarmhand]

Personally, I'd bring them all into the kitchen and say, "Well, I'd love to give you all some sweet treats now and then but apparently we have a sneak in the house someplace. I suppose sweets are too big of a temptation to deceive your parents so they are going in the trash. Honesty is more important than treats." And they'd stand there while I dumped ALL of the sweet treats in the garbage. And there wouldn't be any for a VERY long time.

 

(my own secret stash of chocolate would be in a super-well hidden place)

[KrissiK]

I found that when we did not limit sweets and they were accessible, the kids ate less of them... because they were no longer the forbidden fruit. For about the first month, they did go overboard, eating too much but then the sweets became less enticing, and everyone seemed to eat them at a more normal pace. Dh convinced me to try it and give it time, as I was tired of saying "no, choose a healthy snack, not that", etc, and hiding thing. I now truly believe that forbidden foods are far more enticing and can lead to food issues if too much effort is focused on them. We switched over to that way of doing things when the youngest was around 6.

 

This would not work in my house. Ds2 might manage it, but ds1 has no self-control at all. He's one who would literally sit all day and watch tv or play video games. All day, every day. He's one who would make a meal on junk food every day and think nothing of it. It's not the idea of the forbidden for him, he just likes junk food and has no sense.

[kengjw]

Our rule now is...they can have sweets/treats (reasonable amount) right after lunch and dinner if we are at home. The rest of the time, the answer is no. No sneaking around etc or the sweets/treats will be gone. My oldest is the sneaky one if it is something that she really likes. I have had to take away many of her favorite treats away from her. I cannot say that we have had a great success with our "rule" but the failure lies in my inconsistency of me implementing the consequences. Consistency is really hard for me but I am working on it :0)

 

Julia

[Forget-Me-Not]

Yeah, I have to make mine inaccessible so they have to ask. It wasn't a big deal at all with my 9 and 7 yo. My 4 yo is one of those kids who is of the mind that rules and regulations don't apply to her. She'd come and ask me and then just go do it anyway when I said no.

[Abigail4476]

Here's my take:

 

I don't buy junk food or sodas on a regular basis, although sometimes if we have takeout pizza, I'll buy a 2-liter of root beer to go with it. Occasionally, I will make desserts, cookies, etc., and when I do, I make enough for each member of the family to have ONE serving.

 

That way, there are no leftover sweets to have later. :) Another tip is to only have sweets when you are eating out or when you are in town shopping. You'll only have one serving and there are no leftovers on which to overindulge.

 

The exceptions are birthday cakes; they last for a couple of weeks while everyone nibbles away at them. Since that only happens a few times a year, I really don't worry about it.

 

Also, I don't know if this is accurate, but I think I read somewhere that craving sweets can be curbed by eating something with protein in it. When your child asks for a cookie, instead try a piece of hard cheese wrapped in turkey, a Tbsp. of peanut butter and a few apple slices, or some crackers and hummus. If all else fails, let them suck on a small piece of dark chocolate. It's much healthier and infinitely more satisfying than a cookie or cupcake.

 

A favorite "sweet" (around here) that you can try is frozen grapes. If your kids don't like them plain, you can sprinkle a bowlful of frozen grapes without about a tsp. of grape jello mix. Comes off very popsicle-ish with a lot less sugar.

 

I've gotten into such a habit of redirecting my kids' appetites to healthier choices, I do it without even thinking about it. The older ones now do it on their own, because I've taught them about cravings and how to actually address them.

 

That said: dd15 LOVES those (horrid) flaming hot Cheetos and Nutella; dd17 likes salt & vinegar chips and meringue cookies. They both have their indulgences, but moderation and portion control are important and they've never had sweets or junk on a daily basis. They're both very slim and I don't restrict their food whatsoever. I've actually never restricted food. I make sure there's plenty of the healthy stuff and they can have it as often as they are hungry.

[SKL]

Personally, I'd bring them all into the kitchen and say, "Well, I'd love to give you all some sweet treats now and then but apparently we have a sneak in the house someplace. I suppose sweets are too big of a temptation to deceive your parents so they are going in the trash. Honesty is more important than treats." And they'd stand there while I dumped ALL of the sweet treats in the garbage. And there wouldn't be any for a VERY long time.

 

 

And if your kid were my daughter, she would sneak into the kitchen after you went to bed and pull the wrapped candy out of the garbage and find a hiding place for it in her room. :glare: And you'd find the remains weeks later. Been there, done that.

 

If anyone has any ideas for making a kid like that want to respect the rules and her own body, I'm all :bigear:. Honestly, I dread the day when she has a decision to make about alcohol.

[tots2teens]

And if your kid were my daughter, she would sneak into the kitchen after you went to bed and pull the wrapped candy out of the garbage and find a hiding place for it in her room. :glare: And you'd find the remains weeks later. Been there, done that.

 

If anyone has any ideas for making a kid like that want to respect the rules and her own body, I'm all :bigear:. Honestly, I dread the day when she has a decision to make about alcohol.

 

Sounds just like my daughter. My first two kids were so easy in almost every way. With them, I was all "no need to set limits, they will learn" and "everything in moderation". I have never "banned" anything, with the idea that it will just make them want it even more. And they were always very reasonable & in control. Dd5, on the other hand, is a completely different story! One time I just let her eat all the sweets she wanted, thinking she would feel sick & not want to do that ever again. Boy, was I wrong! She just has absolutely no self control. She is the one who will sneak sweets into her room, lie about it, search the house for it, whatever. I, too, am already nervous about her & alcohol.

I'm all ears for some self control advice.

[fairfarmhand]

And if your kid were my daughter, she would sneak into the kitchen after you went to bed and pull the wrapped candy out of the garbage and find a hiding place for it in her room. :glare: And you'd find the remains weeks later. Been there, done that.

 

If anyone has any ideas for making a kid like that want to respect the rules and her own body, I'm all :bigear:. Honestly, I dread the day when she has a decision to make about alcohol.

wow. :glare: Bless your heart.

 

I wasn't thinking of candy, since we seldom buy that kind of thing. Our treats are more like ice cream, chips, cookies and cake. I guess if I figure there was a chance of them raiding the trash, I'd sack it up and lock it in the trunk of my car till garbage day.

[TammyS]

Poison the well. Buy something desirable. Inject it with pure hot sauce. Say nothing. Put it in the cabinet.

[butterflymommy]

We don't have anything in the house that I wouldn't want them to eat freely. We do often have homemade desserts on the counter but I never have candy or packaged cookies/ desserts. I know homemade desserts aren't exactly health food, but I've found that with it out all the time they don't gorge on it like you'd think. But candy-- I wouldn't even bother-- they will find a way to sneak it. So I would recommend only buying as much as you are willing for them to have at one time and no more.

 

I sometimes buy potato chips at the store but only 1-2 bags (divided between 7 kiddos) and when they're gone they're gone. I don't try to limit it but I rarely have them available.

 

HTH!

[butterflymommy]

Poison the well. Buy something desirable. Inject it with pure hot sauce. Say nothing. Put it in the cabinet.

 

Oh my... no!! I hope this is a joke?

[tots2teens]

Just saw this article about self control linked on Facebook. Interesting.

 

http://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2012/10/16/self-control-arises-from-nurture-as-well-as-nature/?mod=WSJBlog

[Bonkers247]

Oh my... no!! I hope this is a joke?

 

I hope it was a joke, too. I would never do this to my kids. I don't think the appropriate response to my kids sneaking is to be sneaky.

[Kaleidoscope]

I wish I knew. My dd steals food every single day and night. It gets old.

 

We've tried everything on this tread. Nothing helped. We have locks on everything. She still manages to get things. She picks the locks, sneaks things while I cook.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Kaleidoscope

[thebacabunch]

We make dessert for family night once a week or for a special occasion like a birthday. Otherwise we don't have the stuff in the house. The kids really like mondays cause we get sweets after dinner lol!

[LucyStoner]

We got lucky. Our older kid is a self regulator to the extreme. Our younger sweet tooth is a rule follower. I can't pretend to have any advice. We don't consider them taking food to be stealing unless they take it from their brother's Easter basket or something. If it is in the house, it is usually available to all but we do have to say "not until later" to our younger one a fair bit. We keep healthy snacks in abundance and they know they can always get fruit, cheese and similar. If my younger one stops being a rule follower, we are in for it. He would gladly eat sugar if given the choice.

[Catwoman]

I don't really have limits. If I don't want my kids to eat certain things, I don't buy them.

 

Same here. Nothing is forbidden, so I guess the thrill of sweets and other junk foods just isn't there for my ds.

 

I'm sorry to hear that it's different for others, though -- I don't really know what I would do, except just not buy any sweets, which seems to be too extreme because then I would be worried about the whole "forbidden fruit" thing. When I was in school, I knew a girl who wasn't allowed to have any sweets at home, so she used all of her lunch money every day to buy Twinkies and cookies. I'm sure her mom never found out.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Catwoman

[Amy in NH]

Any advice on how to deal with this? It's the sweets that get snuck. The only foods we limit in this house. I have told them several times how disappointed I am with them and stopped buying special treats but there are still some things left in the house. Do I lock all the treats up somewhere so they have to ask for it because with three of them that's going to get old fast. I'm at a loss here.

 

Let the kids see you throw them away, tell them it is because of their dishonest behavior, and don't purchase or make any more. And then take out the trash and bring it to the dump.

[Mommy22alyns]

If it's sweets, then they go. The girls have never had free reign with candy and we just don't keep much of any other sweets around.

[WishboneDawn]

I found that when we did not limit sweets and they were accessible, the kids ate less of them... because they were no longer the forbidden fruit. For about the first month, they did go overboard, eating too much but then the sweets became less enticing, and everyone seemed to eat them at a more normal pace. Dh convinced me to try it and give it time, as I was tired of saying "no, choose a healthy snack, not that", etc, and hiding thing. I now truly believe that forbidden foods are far more enticing and can lead to food issues if too much effort is focused on them. We switched over to that way of doing things when the youngest was around 6.

 

Yup. When we buy or bake treats they generally go out in a dish or on a plate. I've had to throw out cake and candies.

[dollie*]

Just last night (or morning) at 4:30 a.m. my girls 7 and 10 woke me up and said they were awake and wanted to know if they could "have a snack."

Very sleepily I said, NO! Go back to bed!! A little on subject.

[besroma]

When we have a bag of sweets and one of the children sneaks one/some, that child gets no more from that bag until it is gone.

 

DS kept sneaking chocolate chips from one of the mega bags we bought at Sam's. His punishment was that he wasn't allowed to eat anything made with that bag of chips....which lasted months. He is 8 and it worked. I wouldn't do this for a young one, though.

 

:grouphug: It isn't easy, especially when you like to have sweets in the house for yourself!

[GSOchristie]

I'm so glad to know that we aren't the only ones with this problem! I have found no answer but to hide the sweets. We hardly ever buy them, but I like to have them available for a special treat sometimes. I started getting up before my five year old, so I am downstairs when he gets up. This takes away the opportunity, but doesn't really deal with any underlying issues.

[TammyS]

I hope it was a joke, too. I would never do this to my kids. I don't think the appropriate response to my kids sneaking is to be sneaky.

 

There's nothing sneaky about altering your own food. If a child steals something that doesn't belong to them, something they have been told not to touch, then they get what they get. If, however, they don't steal then they won't have a problem.

[Unicorn.]

Poison the well. Buy something desirable. Inject it with pure hot sauce. Say nothing. Put it in the cabinet.

 

Tried that on more than one occasion. Didn't work. Loaded a coke bottle worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, etc. I was told my coke tasted funny and there must be something wrong w/ it. Biting into Baker's chocolate didn't have an effect either. :glare:

[LibraryLover]

Reading this thread makes me wish I had a Valium. (Thank you, dental work misers. )

 

Geez, some of you are harsh.

Edited October 19, 2012 by LibraryLover

[marbel]

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable characterizing "sneaking food" as "stealing?"

 

Maybe technically the food belongs to my husband and me since it's our money that bought it. But it makes me feel a little weird to think of kids sneaking a piece of candy as stealing.

 

I have had to restrict my kids' access to sweets in the past. They would just eat too much. But even when I would find that the tootsie roll bag had been emptied way too fast, I can't imagine calling it "stealing."

 

The food is there for everyone. We all have to learn appropriate limits on consumption, but I can't think of it as stealing if someone overeats.

 

And ruining food to make it taste bad - sorry, but that is just creepy and mean to me.

Edited October 19, 2012 by marbel

[Kaleidoscope]

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable characterizing "sneaking food" as "stealing?"

 

Maybe technically the food belongs to my husband and me since it's our money that bought it. But it makes me feel a little weird to think of kids sneaking a piece of candy as stealing.

 

I have had to restrict my kids' access to sweets in the past. They would just eat too much. But even when I would find that the tootsie roll bag had been emptied way too fast, I can't imagine calling it "stealing."

 

The food is there for everyone. We all have to learn appropriate limits on consumption, but I can't think of it as stealing if someone overeats.

 

Since I call it stealing you know I don't have an issue with it but I wanted to respond that or me I didn't consider it as stealing at first. It went on for years before I called it stealing.

 

If it was the occasional candy going to quickly I still wouldn't call it stealing. I think most of the timing stealing is probably too strong of a word.

 

I can tell You exactly when I started calling it stealing. I decorated a cake for dd2's Bday and woke to discover dd1 had eaten over half the cake along with the ice cream and soda for Dd's party. In the same week I fixed a meal for A friend who had surgery. Dd ate the dessert while I was out of the room.

 

So yes, calling it stealing may be extreme but in our case so is the situation.

[Carrie12345]

Nothing worked in our house until some level of maturity kicked in (though there's still the occassional incident.)

 

For my dds, it wasn't even a "treat" thing. I used to find yogurt containers, Cheerios boxes, water bottles (before we switched to metal for sports), hard boiled egg shells, apple cores... you name it.

 

My kids have never been denied food in their lives. We just limited options. No third apple, no second yogurt, no munchingon cereal around the clock, etc. It was an absolutely crazy couple of years trying to deal with that.

[Unicorn.]

Exactly. We aren't talking about an occasional piece of candy. We're talking about buying a week's worth of food, and it being gone in 24 hours. It wasn't something that was done lightly, but as a last resort, after years of talking it over. I'm also not talking about a small child. I think ds was about 12 when I laced the soda w/ soy sauce, so he was old enough to know better.

[Unicorn.]

Nothing worked in our house until some level of maturity kicked in (though there's still the occassional incident.)

 

For my dds, it wasn't even a "treat" thing. I used to find yogurt containers, Cheerios boxes, water bottles (before we switched to metal for sports), hard boiled egg shells, apple cores... you name it.

 

My kids have never been denied food in their lives. We just limited options. No third apple, no second yogurt, no munchingon cereal around the clock, etc. It was an absolutely crazy couple of years trying to deal with that.

 

This! It wasn't a "treat" thing at our house either, and we basically had the same rules, except they could have all the fruit and veggies they wanted. And I completely agree with maturity kicking in.