stripe Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 If you allow this child to be 100% responsible for their own oral care(and most parents do expect their kids to brush/floss on their own...) they need to answer about their brushing habits and listen to dental care instructions. Well, I don't expect my kids to brush and floss on their own, and, even if/when I do, I supervise. I also go to all my kids' doctors office and have always been treated as an integral part of the childrens' medical care. I don't know any parents of youngish kids or even teens who expect their kids to buy their own supplies or take themselves to appointments, so, that's not looking like 100% kid-run care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjand6more Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Well, I don't expect my kids to brush and floss on their own, and, even if/when I do, I supervise. I also go to all my kids' doctors office and have always been treated as an integral part of the childrens' medical care. I don't know any parents of youngish kids or even teens who expect their kids to buy their own supplies or take themselves to appointments, so, that's not looking like 100% kid-run care. You are one of the very few! I have had to explain to parents why they need to assist their 4 year olds in brushing!! Really, I hear everything from :"I have 3 kids(or however many). I don't have time to brush everyone's teeth!" to "He needs to learn to be independent(AT 4?????)" The HUGE majority of parents are hands off with their kids oral health. That is a fact. The bottom line is the dentist can make these choices. I can not. My name is not on the door. The dentist weighs the positives and negatives of all decisions made at the office. I support his decision as I see more positives than negatives. I ALWAYS visit with parents and let them know how their kids are doing brushing, etc and discuss any issues they feel important. We do not exclude parents from their kids' care ever. If the dentist sees something significant, the parent is welcomed back to discuss it with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I used to have major issues with parents not being "allowed" back. But now I am Ok with it. The reason I am Ok with it is because at our pediatric dental office, parents go back for the routine exams and cleanings and not treatments UNLESS they are needed. If my dc needs me, they take me back. I tend to be a helicopter parent, over-protective to a fault, but I have seen the benefits of not having me there. I think *my* dc do better when I am not there. The reality is, their fear and pain upset me, no matter how hard I try to hide it. And I stay 100% calm but they know. I know they know... :lol: If I am there (in the clinic) but not in front of their face, they handle it just fine. And at our practice, the hygienist comes out during treatment to give updates, too. I have 2 dc with special needs about whom I worry even more, but even they do really well and come out with their stickers and pencils, not at all stressed. The key is, I trust this office. I trust the dentists and the hygienists. If I didn't, I wouldn't go even if I were allowed back. ;) None of my dc have any fear of going to the dentist. It is not a big deal at all. :) (We've gone to the same practice for 15+ years.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccm Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 The HUGE majority of parents are hands off with their kids oral health. That is a fact. The bottom line is the dentist can make these choices. I can not. My name is not on the door. The dentist weighs the positives and negatives of all decisions made at the office. I support his decision as I see more positives than negatives. I ALWAYS visit with parents and let them know how their kids are doing brushing, etc and discuss any issues they feel important. We do not exclude parents from their kids' care ever. If the dentist sees something significant, the parent is welcomed back to discuss it with him. :iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccm Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I used to have major issues with parents not being "allowed" back. But now I am Ok with it. The reason I am Ok with it is because at our pediatric dental office, parents go back for the routine exams and cleanings and not treatments UNLESS they are needed. If my dc needs me, they take me back. I tend to be a helicopter parent, over-protective to a fault, but I have seen the benefits of not having me there. I think *my* dc do better when I am not there. The reality is, their fear and pain upset me, no matter how hard I try to hide it. And I stay 100% calm but they know. I know they know... :lol: If I am there (in the clinic) but not in front of their face, they handle it just fine. And at our practice, the hygienist comes out during treatment to give updates, too. I have 2 dc with special needs about whom I worry even more, but even they do really well and come out with their stickers and pencils, not at all stressed. The key is, I trust this office. I trust the dentists and the hygienists. If I didn't, I wouldn't go even if I were allowed back. ;) None of my dc have any fear of going to the dentist. It is not a big deal at all. :) (We've gone to the same practice for 15+ years.) Well said. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Some dentists do allow parents in the room. Heck, our dentist has asked me to have the kids in my lap while he checked my younger son's teeth. My son has a condition where some of his teeth don't have enamel. That meant he had to have a tooth drilled and filled when he was about 2 years old. The dentist had him on my lap for the entire procedure. I should add that my dentist specializes in treating people who have dental anxiety..that isn't why we see him though... and he will tolerate pretty much anything to make a situation work. But, he would NOT tolerate anyone speaking like that to a child. He is such a kind and patient man. He also treats people with special needs. He will go to great lengths to ensure that everyone gets good dental care and is very understanding about anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Our dentist (who is not a pediatric dentist) lets our kids go in and out of the room. They really don't seem to care. They are great with everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 awe.... hugs for those kids indeed!!! And yet.... I'd never in a million years visit a dentist who did not allow me to be with my young son during his visits.... :iagree: I can not tell you how many things would have been done to my two kids if I had not been in the room with them. I WILL NOT TAKE THEM TO A DENTIST THAT DOES NOT ALLOW ME TO BE THERE. We all know there are verbally abusive parent. Don't advocate for the punishment of the ones that are not to be locked out of their child's care. I am not saying this in a mean way but I do feel very strong about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewaka Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I have never even thought about whether I would be allowed back. If I wanted to go, I just did. I had the greatest dentist in PA. They took all 6 of us at one time for cleanings, doubled up appointments for the children, loved on my son when he was born. I had a traumatic incident because of an abscess in the roof of my mouth. Terrified of needles because of it. *They* suggested I have my husband accompany me after that! They had us sit with our children whenever possible (sometimes one of us had to watch the youngers). I can't imagine dealing with a dentist who wouldn't work with *my* needs (needles aren't the only difficulty I have, either :(). I would find another dentist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 And yet.... I'd never in a million years visit a dentist who did not allow me to be with my young son during his visits.... :iagree::iagree::iagree:1000% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I'd never allow my kids to be alone with a Doctor or a Dentist unless the child asked me leave. Luckily, our dentist is great and encourages the parents to be there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 Good reminder to be sympathetic toward children facing the unknown :) Our dd needs 4 teeth out in a few weeks and I do have a tendency to tell her to be tough (that's how I was raised too.) But the fears are pretty rational. I know, for my dc, just validating their fears helps them to be more brave. Those fears are rational. (I'd be worried if a 6yo did NOT defend herself from someone coming at her with tools. She would have probably have been OK if the mom would have let the dentist prepare the girl calmly.) Being tough is a good thing, but it really has to be their own selves doing the being, if that makes sense. My 9yo has been having lots of testing done, and I don't lie to him. It's going to pinch or be uncomfortable, but knowing what is coming, knowing why he needs to do this, and seeing me and the Dr's calm and compassionate make all the difference. I don't think that is the only reason dentists don't want parents there. I have never hear a parent act that way. Actually quite the opposite. I am very concerned with how my children are treated. At my own dentist (whom I REALLY like) I wouldn't let a couple of the assistants near my kids with a ten foot pole. I understand the last paragraph too. I just understand completely why some dentists have the policies they do. By the time you weed through the rational parents from the verbally abusive ones, the child has already had a traumatic experience that will likely scare her away from the dentist for the long haul, which is a bad thing for the child. It isn't fair for most parents who are not that way, but I do understand it. The key is, I trust this office. I trust the dentists and the hygienists. If I didn't, I wouldn't go even if I were allowed back. ;) None of my dc have any fear of going to the dentist. It is not a big deal at all. :) I think that is key.:iagree: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I wouldn't use a practice that has a blanket policy of not allowing parents of small children to come back. Regardless of how I felt about that dentist. No matter if I trust them, the issue is whether or not my dc feel comfortable around them. My dd1 at almost 5 had to have cavities filled so I was researching all my options locally. I was looking into the ped dentist as I had thought they were supposed to be the best for kids. Well, I found out the one ped dentist doesn't allow parents back and also use the papoose board. My one very dearest friend told me she had taken her kids twice and both came out and collapsed into a heap, they had been crying the whole time and were traumatized. I found a local dentist that did nitro and allowed parents back. My being there allowed my daughter to relax a lot more and there is no way she would have made it through one of the visits had I not been there to help keep her calm and work through it. The dentist was great and friendly, as were the assistants, but they didn't know my particular child and what works best for her. I retold her (and everyone else there) her favorite story(Heckedy Peg). I held her hand and sat by her feet. I helped to hold her still and encourage her through. My daughter wasn't traumatized and the work wasn't compromised. I don't necessarily feel the need to always come back though but would base that on each of my children. My ds8 probably would be fine. He's just had a cleaning so far(didn't need anything else) and our whole family was in the room while we took turns with cleanings. He's generally not very sensitive though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandy.gray Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 Ive never been in a situation where there were no parents allowed until this moment. And im very upset. Ive been raising my kids gor 25 yrs and this is the first time id ever heard no parents allowed and my little one was afraid to come anyway last time they worked on his teeth before he was numb and he is terrified and i had to leave him in there alone 😭 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 9 year old zombie thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 They don't? Where I am you are expected to be in the room until the kids go to high school. I am not sure it is required but it was always assumed. Now my oldest is at high school I wait in the waiting room. When I was a kid though, the schools had dental clinics and your parents never knew until afterwards. A lot of schools in NZ still do but my city changed to have centralized child oral health clinics. When the kids reach high school age they switch to one of the real dentists who are part of the scheme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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