Vent: People & emails- Have you ever heard of anything like this?

[shanvan]

I know we are all busy and we all get a lot of emails and may have trouble focusing, but there is one mom from our 4H club who is driving me and Ds crazy! Her daughter joined the club several months ago and I realize there may be a learning curve, but this is getting ridiculous.

 

Ds sends out email reminders to the entire club for upcoming meetings, events of interest, due dates, etc. Every time he sends an email with a reminder about a meeting she immediately emails back asking if there is a meeting on ___ (the exact date he puts in his email) saying "I'm confused". I really don't know how "Reminder: There is a meeting in ____ tomorrow night can be confusing. :confused:

 

Tonight he sent the reminder that tomorrow night's meeting is the Halloween party which will take place ____. Please email if you need directions. Less than an hour later we get an email from her once again asking if there is a meeting tomorrow and saying she is confused.

 

I am starting to wonder if this lady has some kind of problem. Ds has to send her a second email almost every time to repeat what he said in the first email! Uggh!

 

Have you ever encountered anything like this? I find it truly bizarre.

[TammyS]

Could it be that some of these events are in addition to "regular club meetings" and that is the confusion?

 

A totally different thought: maybe she's accustomed to being on top of things and writes them in her calendar when she first gets notification of them and she things that she's getting reminders because there has been some kind of change and that you wouldn't be sending out a notice unless there had been a change? :confused:

 

Maybe she's just dumb. Some people are.

[shanvan]

Could it be that some of these events are in addition to "regular club meetings" and that is the confusion?

 

A totally different thought: maybe she's accustomed to being on top of things and writes them in her calendar when she first gets notification of them and she things that she's getting reminders because there has been some kind of change and that you wouldn't be sending out a notice unless there had been a change? :confused:

 

Maybe she's just dumb. Some people are.

 

Well, I hadn't thought of those possibilities. Their meetings are always the 1st & 3rd Tues, but for some reason parents seem to be constantly confused about when the next meeting is, which is why he started emailing in the first place. Maybe you are right and it confuses her that anyone would need to be told again.

 

Some of the events are in addition, but they are clearly labeled as such. I proof his emails to be sure they are clear.

[Guest]

That does seem strange.

 

There was a woman in my homeschool co-op that I seriously thought might have early-onset Alzheimers. She was so flaky and forgetful. We could have an entire conversation and later, she would bring it up again as if we had never spoken. :confused:

 

Maybe you could say, "You seem to be confused about how our regularly-schedule events and notifications work. We meet on _________ and ________. When reminders come out, it is just that - a reminder. It's not a change unless we say so."

[justLisa]

It's kind of funny if nothing else :lol:

 

Maybe her computer sends out automatic generated messages?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Maybe you could say, "You seem to be confused about how our regularly-schedule events and notifications work. We meet on _________ and ________. When reminders come out, it is just that - a reminder. It's not a change unless we say so."

 

You could add something to the effect of "Please check your calendar to see if the following events are listed. If they are not, I hope you add them. If they are, then great! I hope to see everyone there."

[elegantlion]

Maybe she has a hangup from a previous group or something. Maybe she feels like she has to confirm everything to ensure she go the e-mail. :confused: I've never heard of anything like that. Maybe she is using last years calendar and her 1st and 3rds are all off.

[Catwoman]

Maybe your ds could title his messages with something like, "REMINDER: Don't forget that we'll be meeting on X date at Y place at Z time," in case she's thinking that he's emailing because the regular meeting date has changed? :confused:

 

Honestly, though, she sounds like a flake. Maybe when you see her at the next meeting, you could simply ask her if she's having an issue with the emails, so you might be able to clear up her obvious confusion.

[Word Nerd]

I would just ask her what specifically she is confused about.

 

Does your DS BCC the email addresses for members? If so, maybe she thinks she's the only one getting an email and doesn't understand why she's being called out. Total guess, but it might be something like that.

Edited October 16, 2012 by WordGirl

[*~Tina~*]

Folks do this on our homeschooling group all the time :D

[shanvan]

Maybe your ds could title his messages with something like, "REMINDER: Don't forget that we'll be meeting on X date at Y place at Z time," in case she's thinking that he's emailing because the regular meeting date has changed? :confused:

 

That's just it, he does this already. They are always titled "Reminder".

Honestly, though, she sounds like a flake. Maybe when you see her at the next meeting, you could simply ask her if she's having an issue with the emails, so you might be able to clear up her obvious confusion.

 

Trouble is with all the new members in the past few months, I'm not even sure I know which mom she is. We are up to 20 members now and the training building is so full of parents, kids and dogs that it's hard to know who is who. I'm usually monitoring Dd and her dog since he is a handful. Our next meeting is without dogs at our 4H office.

 

That does seem strange.

 

There was a woman in my homeschool co-op that I seriously thought might have early-onset Alzheimers. She was so flaky and forgetful. We could have an entire conversation and later, she would bring it up again as if we had never spoken. :confused:

 

Maybe you could say, "You seem to be confused about how our regularly-schedule events and notifications work. We meet on _________ and ________. When reminders come out, it is just that - a reminder. It's not a change unless we say so."

You know, I think I'll tell Ds to do this at our next meeting just in case she thinks there is some kind of change. He can make it a general announcement. Then I'll try to figure out which new mom she is so I can get an idea of where he is coming from.

 

He also needs to clear up that there are only a few meetings without dogs and that he will give advance warning when they happen. For a while another mom emailed us just before every meeting to see if she should bring her dog to the training building. Someone must have told her about the no dog meetings but not bothered to tell her anything else. I guess she was living in fear that she would show up with a dog when she shouldn't.

 

Ds is really trying to make everything understandable and maintain good communication, but he is finding that a lot of parents don't pay attention. He asked an interesting question the other day. "Do you think all of my reminders are having the opposite effect and now people are paying less attention b/c they know I'll remind them yet again?" Hmmm...could be, but that's a separate issue from the confused mom emails.

[shanvan]

Folks do this on our homeschooling group all the time :D

 

Oh, wow! So it happens to other people too? I'm sorry. Come to think of it I got some pretty clueless emails back when I was crazy enough to take on the job of administrator to our local homeschool group. I took the position for a year and after a few months announced I would not be returning the following year. The emails drove me that crazy. Up until now, we haven't encountered email weirdness from 4H.

[Mommyof4ks]

Is he putting tomorrow or the actual date? I read emails several times a day, but I have a friend who only checks every few days, so she ought get confused about what day. My date stamp is useless on my email since it is often days off, so that might be an issue too. Just a few thoughts, but yes, that would be annoying. Maybe she has anxiety about missing things?

[TammyS]

Maybe she has a hangup from a previous group or something. Maybe she feels like she has to confirm everything to ensure she go the e-mail.

 

Oh! That's a real possibility! I have friends who are flaky and I always call to confirm things before leaving the house for anything! If she was part of a flaky group of some kind I could totally see this!

[shanvan]

Is he putting tomorrow or the actual date? I read emails several times a day, but I have a friend who only checks every few days, so she ought get confused about what day. My date stamp is useless on my email since it is often days off, so that might be an issue too. Just a few thoughts, but yes, that would be annoying. Maybe she has anxiety about missing things?

 

If he uses the word 'tomorrow' he always puts the date immediately following. I should have said that in my earlier post. I taught him to do that when he first became responsible for club emails.

[Twigs]

… "Reminder: There is a meeting in ____ tomorrow night can be confusing. :confused: …

 

This kind of reminder causes me a lot of anxiety.

I much prefer the reminder to include the actual date, something like: "tomorrow, October 16". If it's not spelled out in detail, I will show up at the wrong time or place.

 

 

ETA - just saw your other reply.

Edited October 16, 2012 by Twigs

[shanvan]

I would just ask her what specifically she is confused about.

 

Does your DS BCC the email addresses for members? If so, maybe she thinks she's the only one getting an email and doesn't understand why she's being called out. Total guess, but it might be something like that.

 

He made an email group for 4H emails and it's not done in a very sophisticated way, so she can actually see every person who is receiving the emails.

[shanvan]

This kind of reminder causes me a lot of anxiety.

I much prefer the reminder to include the actual date, something like: "tomorrow, October 16". If it's not spelled out in detail, I will show up at the wrong time or place.

 

When I posted, I forgot to include the date (shame on me), which he does always include immediately after the tomorrow. That's one of the reasons I always proof his emails. When he first started he did leave out dates, until I instructed him not to and explained reasons. I should probably tell him not to use the word 'tomorrow' at all, but then we thought people would pay attention better if he includes it.

[Jennifer in MI]

We are members of a group that does this. There are regular meetings. I have them on my calendar. Every week, we get an updated list of the week's meetings. Usually, they are just a reminder of meetings I listed on my calendar at the beginning of the semester. BUT, occasionally, they will add another meeting. So, I have to slog my way through all the emails and make sure I have everything on my calendar, just in case they've added something new. It is very frustrating. (I must say that I don't email back every time double checking! But, maybe that's her issue - she already has it on her calendar?)

 

Maybe if each email was started with what it was: REMINDER. Or UPCOMING MEETING! ADDITION TO CALENDAR! Or something like that.

 

Or, you could come right out and ask her what confuses her?!

[EKS]

Is he not stating the exact date? When I send out emails like this I write: There will be a meeting tomorrow, Tuesday, 10/16, at 6:30 pm in room 221 at Smith Middle School (or whatever).

 

ETA: I just saw your other post indicating that he is indeed stating the date. In that case, I think the woman is a bit off.

Edited October 16, 2012 by EKS

[TammyS]

I think you just need to ask her straight-out what she is finding confusing about the emails. If it's something you can reasonably fix, do so. If not she'll figure it out. Believe me, if she is at all motivated to be in the club, she WILL figure it out.

[Ghee]

Maybe she's just dumb. Some people are.

 

:iagree:or yanking your chain.

 

I coach cheerleading. I have one mom who sends me the silliest questions. When I sent a text saying "Please remember we practice tonight at 6. Practice lasts an hour, bring water." I immediately got a text back saying "What time is practice over?" I've sent messages "Please be at the game tonight, we play at 6." and gotten "When do we need to be there?" :glare: I'm torn between thinking she's dumber than a box of rocks and thinking that she has GOT to be doing that just to drive me nuts. Seriously, you can't figure up when practice is over if you have the information "starts at 6" and "lasts one hour"?

[justasque]

Some folks just don't understand "2nd and 4th Tuesday". They don't know how to figure it out, and it seems like every other week, so when there's a 5th week they get confused.

 

Some folks - shockingly to most of us hsers - don't keep a planner and try to keep it all in their head, largely by functioning week-to-week.

 

Some folks really do have comprehension disabilities.

[TammyS]

. Seriously, you can't figure up when practice is over if you have the information "starts at 6" and "lasts one hour"?

 

You should totally send back a text that says 11pm.:lol:

[shanvan]

We are members of a group that does this. There are regular meetings. I have them on my calendar. Every week, we get an updated list of the week's meetings. Usually, they are just a reminder of meetings I listed on my calendar at the beginning of the semester. BUT, occasionally, they will add another meeting. So, I have to slog my way through all the emails and make sure I have everything on my calendar, just in case they've added something new. It is very frustrating. (I must say that I don't email back every time double checking! But, maybe that's her issue - she already has it on her calendar?)

 

Maybe if each email was started with what it was: REMINDER. Or UPCOMING MEETING! ADDITION TO CALENDAR! Or something like that.

 

Or, you could come right out and ask her what confuses her?!

 

Well, he does put the reminder as the very first item and then list any extra opportunities as just that b/c I did discuss with him that too much info can be overwhelming. He also takes care to provide spacing between one date and event and another and uses heading with the date/event in bold and underlined, also in larger font with the details underneath. He also numbers them.

 

There were 3 items in tonight's email. He had a one sentence opener that alerted everyone that there were 3 reminders. 1. Meeting/Party with date time & location 2. Website has been updated, web address meeting dates for the rest of the year are on the site 3. Extra opportunity for volunteering at upcoming agility trial. The headings for these were all in bold and underlined with pertinent info beneath them in smaller print. The only info sent previously was for the party b/c he was coordinating refreshments. So tonight's email had an updated list so that those who still needed to pick up something could try not to bring a duplicate item. I thought it would be worse if he sent a separate email for each item, but maybe some would prefer that?

 

Sometimes, though, the only thing in the email is a reminder that the next meeting is on whatever date and in whichever location (we alternate b/t the training building and an outdoor field on the same property). You may be right though, and she is confused by what is extra and what are meetings even if they are marked. She is the only one who emails back. I think maybe he should try to find out what people find to be the best way to handle the emails since this thread has some valid points.

[shanvan]

:iagree:or yanking your chain.

 

I coach cheerleading. I have one mom who sends me the silliest questions. When I sent a text saying "Please remember we practice tonight at 6. Practice lasts an hour, bring water." I immediately got a text back saying "What time is practice over?" I've sent messages "Please be at the game tonight, we play at 6." and gotten "When do we need to be there?" :glare: I'm torn between thinking she's dumber than a box of rocks and thinking that she has GOT to be doing that just to drive me nuts. Seriously, you can't figure up when practice is over if you have the information "starts at 6" and "lasts one hour"?

 

Oh, my! Now I don't feel so bad. I suppose these kinds of things make life interesting.

[NorthwestMom]

 

Ds is really trying to make everything understandable and maintain good communication, but he is finding that a lot of parents don't pay attention. He asked an interesting question the other day. "Do you think all of my reminders are having the opposite effect and now people are paying less attention b/c they know I'll remind them yet again?" Hmmm...could be, but that's a separate issue from the confused mom emails. [/size]

 

There is likely a grain of truth to this.

 

I lead a Girl Scout troop that meets on the first and third Tuesdays of the month, so we have the same issues with, "Is the meeting this week?" One great thing I did was to identify all of the meeting dates for the academic year and add them in a list to my signature to all emails. I add in any extra meetings as they are set in the schedule. That way, the parents have a list of meeting dates if they can find ANY email that has come from me.

 

When I get email questions from clueless repeat offenders, like this one a PP mentioned (sorry I can't quote it correctly here), I will reply to that person only with a cut and paste of the relevant parts of the email I just sent, with a smiley face. I will NOT respond "7pm":

 

"I coach cheerleading. I have one mom who sends me the silliest questions. When I sent a text saying "Please remember we practice tonight at 6. Practice lasts an hour, bring water." I immediately got a text back saying "What time is practice over?" I've sent messages "Please be at the game tonight, we play at 6." and gotten "When do we need to be there?" I'm torn between thinking she's dumber than a box of rocks and thinking that she has GOT to be doing that just to drive me nuts. Seriously, you can't figure up when practice is over if you have the information "starts at 6" and "lasts one hour"?

[shanvan]

One great thing I did was to identify all of the meeting dates for the academic year and add them in a list to my signature to all emails. I add in any extra meetings as they are set in the schedule. That way, the parents have a list of meeting dates if they can find ANY email that has come from me.

 

 

Thank you! What a great idea! So simple, yet we never thought of it before. Ds is going to love it.