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rough start: anybody else been here?

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I've been up since 4:30ish. I'm on my second or third cup of coffee trying to ditch a headache.


I got to thinking about everyone having more babies and started to cry. I have 3 awesome boys and have lost 3 in the first trimester. I had a total histerectomy almost a year ago. The doc told me after surgery that said surgery saved my life.


Has anybody else been here? I need to know I'm not alone and not going crazy.

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I think it is normal to grieve our fertility. I also think that sometimes that grief is delayed. It has hit me more recently that there is NO hope of a pregnancy (though the hope was pretty slim before the hysterectomy 7months ago).


Additionally though, I think sometimes we know what we want and sometimes have a more emotional reaction to it. Maybe y'all are supposed to get a baby another way? For years I wanted more children. And now I finally have them. It may not be how you are supposed to do it (if you even are), but it may be a longing to explore further.

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It is hard for me to let go of certain seasons of my life, and the rhythms that accompany them. I understand.


Keep focused on the life you have, or it will slip away. I don't want to wake up one morning and find I spent so much time pining for what I cannot have that I didn't fully embrace what I do have. :grouphug: Don't let grief over what you cannot control steal your joy.

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