Jean in Newcastle Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 1 1/2 weeks of very swollen feet and clenched muscles that made it hard to walk or stand or sleep. That started to ease yesterday right before going to the doctor. The doctor was concerned because my blood pressure was 159/92. It went down some by bedtime. Dh felt like it was high due to pain and the fact that I've been on Aleve. (I'm no longer taking the Aleve and my pain is actually a bit better now anyway.) This morning it was still high 147/84 when I first woke up. I took a diuretic that my doctor gave me (HCTZ) this morning. By this afternoon I felt very poorly. My bp was 168/94 and my pulse was 100. I rested this afternoon and feel a bit better. My bp is "only" 142/86 now. Anyway - here's my problem. My 20-something niece and her friend are coming for the weekend. The house is trashed - like some of those pictures on the neat/clutter thread because when I'm not my best, the kids do a less than stellar job of picking up. They aren't defiant, they just aren't motivated when I'm under the weather. My niece comes sometime Saturday. My kids are still doing school because ds esp. does better with school routine and he's high school now and really needs to stick to the schedule if possible. I can't do a lot around here. I'm really worried that if I do, I'll end up in the ER and we can't really afford that physically or financially. My niece is coming from 6 hours away and really has no where else to stay. I don't know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Cancel. Cancel, cancel, cancel. You just can't. :grouphug: They'll understand. You have to take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I'm sorry. It's so stressful when you can't get ready for company, not to mention the pain. Maybe the kids could just clean one bedroom for your niece to stay in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Cancel. Cancel, cancel, cancel. You just can't. :grouphug: They'll understand. You have to take care of yourself. :iagree: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Cancel the visit - or have a talk with the kids. Explain the special circumstances and have them rise to the challenge. This is not normal picking up - it is fast cleaning in a situation where you NEED their help. I am sure they can do it if you make it clear that you rely on their assistance. Your son should be able to put in time after his school work. or he skips a day, even in high school this is not a big deal. My kids, at ages 5 and 7, once cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner because I had hurt my hand and could not hold anything, not even a cup or spoon... I just gave directions. Hope you feel better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Is your niece staying with you as a place to stay along the way or for some specific reason? If not, definitely cancel. Would having her visit make you feel stressed? I don't know your relationship, so it's hard to comment. There are very few people I could have for a weekend if I were in your condition---unless I just kept mostly confined to my room and they understood the situation. I vote cancel or reschedule if at all possible. OR Get your kids to make the house at least acceptable. OR Call your niece and see what her thoughts are. All depends on.... ... your relationship with your niece, ...how important the visit is, ...your niece's attitude and general demeanor when visiting, ...how disruptive you think it is to school if your kids help with the house ...how long it would take to get back on track with schoolwork ...and how much you can tolerate right now. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I do think you need to make your own health a priority. Stay out of the ER! Take care of yourself as much as possible. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Unless it's going to completely stress you out... I say DON'T cancel. Give the kids instructions for picking up to some extent before she arrives. Then, when she arrives, PUT HER TO WORK! This is what family is for! How fortunate that she is coming at a time when she is needed!! That's how I would feel in her shoes. She could do some cleaning, some laundry, get some groceries, prep some easy meals for your family...whatever. I'm not suggesting turn her into a slave, but family IS supposed to help each other and I bet she'll be happy of the opportunity to do something for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Unless it's going to completely stress you out... I say DON'T cancel. Give the kids instructions for picking up to some extent before she arrives. Then, when she arrives, PUT HER TO WORK! This is what family is for! How fortunate that she is coming at a time when she is needed!! That's how I would feel in her shoes. She could do some cleaning, some laundry, get some groceries, prep some easy meals for your family...whatever. I'm not suggesting turn her into a slave, but family IS supposed to help each other and I bet she'll be happy of the opportunity to do something for you! That's what I was thinking, too. If I were going to stay with family and that person needed help with the house, I'd love to do what I could (cleaning somebody else's house is usually way more fun than cleaning one's own, don't you think?). And you're doing the friend a favor, too, so she can pitch in. I've visited friends who lived on farms and was immediately set to mucking stalls; I enjoyed it immensely. Please take care of yourself, Jean. And let other people help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Is your niece staying with you as a place to stay along the way or for some specific reason? If not, definitely cancel. Would having her visit make you feel stressed? I don't know your relationship, so it's hard to comment. There are very few people I could have for a weekend if I were in your condition---unless I just kept mostly confined to my room and they understood the situation. I vote cancel or reschedule if at all possible. OR Get your kids to make the house at least acceptable. OR Call your niece and see what her thoughts are. All depends on.... ... your relationship with your niece, ...how important the visit is, ...your niece's attitude and general demeanor when visiting, ...how disruptive you think it is to school if your kids help with the house ...how long it would take to get back on track with schoolwork ...and how much you can tolerate right now. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I do think you need to make your own health a priority. Stay out of the ER! Take care of yourself as much as possible. :grouphug: My niece is coming to help her friend start college. They are coming to look over the area and get her settled. I've never met the friend. I have a good relationship with my niece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Stop worrying about how the house looks. You're not up to cleaning it, so it is what it is. Personally, I think you should call and cancel, mainly because your niece is bringing a friend (unless the two of them will be out of the house a lot, and wouldn't mind take-out meals.) Think of yourself and your health first, Jean. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Don't worry about the house and how it looks. I would ask my kids to really give it a good effort in the cleaning department and then let it go. I think family would understand the situation. Praying you feel better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Don't worry about the house and how it looks. I would ask my kids to really give it a good effort in the cleaning department and then let it go. I think family would understand the situation. Praying you feel better soon! :iagree: :grouphug: I wouldn't cancel, but I wouldn't be too hard on myself either. They'll understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Stop worrying about how the house looks. You're not up to cleaning it, so it is what it is. Personally, I think you should call and cancel, mainly because your niece is bringing a friend (unless the two of them will be out of the house a lot, and wouldn't mind take-out meals.) Think of yourself and your health first, Jean. :grouphug: :iagree: have you tried magnesium? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 :iagree: have you tried magnesium? Yes. I've been on magnesium for awhile and yesterday my doctor gave me a more potent and absorbable kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Can you hire a service to come clean your house tomorrow? Hon. If I lived closer, I'd so come over and give your place a once over. :grouphug::grouphug: Okay. I'll share a few of my "Holy Carp, company will be here in an hour" tips. Dishwashers, ovens, dryers, washers all hide things very well. Dirty things belong there anyway (with the exception of the oven). Shove it in and worry later. Closets have doors for a reason. Use them. Shove. Shove. Shove. And remember, your neice is coming to visit you, not your house. (That motto never worked for me though.) More, :grouphug::grouphug: Because I know you need them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I had the same thought. And Jean, :grouphug: and prayers. Unless it's going to completely stress you out... I say DON'T cancel. Give the kids instructions for picking up to some extent before she arrives. Then, when she arrives, PUT HER TO WORK! This is what family is for! How fortunate that she is coming at a time when she is needed!! That's how I would feel in her shoes. She could do some cleaning, some laundry, get some groceries, prep some easy meals for your family...whatever. I'm not suggesting turn her into a slave, but family IS supposed to help each other and I bet she'll be happy of the opportunity to do something for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Yes. I've been on magnesium for awhile and yesterday my doctor gave me a more potent and absorbable kind. Do you think it is doing a better job? I'm curious how it differs from what you had already been taking. It seems like it might be hard to cancel on your niece. I don't know her or how close you are, but I would hope she would understand your situation and not expect you or your home to be up and running as usual. Unfortunately, there are quite a few relatives in my family who would not understand (and did not when I was having a flare up that made it difficult for me to do anything beyond moving from the chair to the bed). That's why I wondered about your relationship with her and whether or not she would make you feel more stressed. I like the idea of enlisting some help from your niece if possible. Whatever you do, resist the urge to push yourself. I hope your symptoms calm down soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 Do you think it is doing a better job? I'm curious how it differs from what you had already been taking. It seems like it might be hard to cancel on your niece. I don't know her or how close you are, but I would hope she would understand your situation and not expect you or your home to be up and running as usual. Unfortunately, there are quite a few relatives in my family who would not understand (and did not when I was having a flare up that made it difficult for me to do anything beyond moving from the chair to the bed). That's why I wondered about your relationship with her and whether or not she would make you feel more stressed. I like the idea of enlisting some help from your niece if possible. Whatever you do, resist the urge to push yourself. I hope your symptoms calm down soon. She won't make me feel badly. She's way too polite to say anything! As far as the house goes, we're a bit better than before. In the last two hours in two ten minute segments we've pretty much cleaned the living room up except for vacuuming. We still have to clean the bathroom (a ten min. job), the dining room (a twenty min. job plus vacuuming, the stairs and landing (a 3 to 5 min. job plus vacuuming), the hall (a 3 min. job plus vacuuming) and ds' bedroom which is where the girls will be staying (a 30 min job plus vacuuming). It helped that I was too ill tonight to take the kids to the Y and taekwando. We're watching Flashpoint on Netflix and cleaning. The kids are doing the bulk of it. My health is not doing well. My bp is going up again and so is my blood sugar. It's one of those vicious circle things. My dh is home if I need medical attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 Saturday update: The house is "family ready" - except for my ds's room that he is still working on and the bathroom that I will clean this afternoon. My niece and friend won't be here until 8 or 9 pm at night so we have time. They will not be eating any meals here except for breakfast which frankly is a relief for me. My blood pressure is going down to normal with the medicine and then spiking up to levels that make me feel like I'm choking and otherwise make me feel very poorly. Unless it gets to a level where I have to go to the ER, there is nothing to do other than keep taking my medicine and call the doctor on Monday. I've decided to continue on the gf diet my new naturopathic doctor put me on (because it is anti-inflammatory). I've also decided to stop the magnesium she put me on and go back to my old magnesium at a higher dose. The diuretic I'm on causes you to get rid of magnesium and I need the higher dose, I think. Otherwise, I'm putting the naturopathic doctor visits on hold until I can get my bp under control. I don't have the money or time to go to two doctors right now (or three if you count my chiropractor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Saturday update: The house is "family ready" - except for my ds's room that he is still working on and the bathroom that I will clean this afternoon. My niece and friend won't be here until 8 or 9 pm at night so we have time. They will not be eating any meals here except for breakfast which frankly is a relief for me. My blood pressure is going down to normal with the medicine and then spiking up to levels that make me feel like I'm choking and otherwise make me feel very poorly. Unless it gets to a level where I have to go to the ER, there is nothing to do other than keep taking my medicine and call the doctor on Monday. I've decided to continue on the gf diet my new naturopathic doctor put me on (because it is anti-inflammatory). I've also decided to stop the magnesium she put me on and go back to my old magnesium at a higher dose. The diuretic I'm on causes you to get rid of magnesium and I need the higher dose, I think. Otherwise, I'm putting the naturopathic doctor visits on hold until I can get my bp under control. I don't have the money or time to go to two doctors right now (or three if you count my chiropractor). :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Cancel. Cancel, cancel, cancel. You just can't. :grouphug: They'll understand. You have to take care of yourself. :iagree: Saw your update. All that matters is your health. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I'm sorry that is tough. HOWEVER. We are talking about two almost college kids :tongue_smilie: Do you think they've never seen mess? :lol: I would say, if you can totally not care about the state of your home (which I'm sure is not as bad as you think) then have them. OR, if your relationship with her is good you can call and explain. Tell her you hardly can see your floor and you are having chronic pain issues. Maybe she will offer to help you out? I have a hard time having anyone over here when I am in a compromised state so I understand where you are coming from. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Update: Right before 5 pm, I started to get chest pain and my lips were tingling and numb. We left ds home to continue cleaning up (the chest pain started after I was cleaning the bathroom) and to let the girls in if they arrived. Dh, dd and I went to the ER. My heart is fine. The doctor says this is another manifestation of my inflammation and muscle problem - this time with my chest muscles. The lip thing was probably due to something (nerve? blood vessel?) being constricted by the muscles. I'll call my MD on Monday. I got home about 15 min. before the girls came here. We had a nice visit with the girls tonight. My niece was asking me about when her older sister used to show up with all her friends and camp out at my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I am so glad you are taking care of yourself. Just a slight FYI just in case: I had to have transdermal magnesium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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