Another HG update (10/10)

[k2bdeutmeyer]

In the grand scheme of HG, yesterday was a "good" day. I got my last scheduled IV infusion (2L and IV Zofran) at 3:30pm. The food I ordered was gross, so I didn't eat a whole lot, but what I did stayed down - along with my 2nd dose of steroids. I was miserable with nausea all night, but I guess at least I didn't throw up. However, I just felt so discouraged. I can't really explain it.

 

Today has not been so great. I ate a waffle this morning and drank a Boost shake so I could take my steroid. I've been totally miserable ever since. Still no vomiting, but the nausea is horrible and has prevented me from eating anything more. I suppose 500 calories is better than 0, but still. I just want this all to be over.

 

On the dr front. I've been tossing around a number of ideas. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with them all. On the one hand, there is another OB in the practice that IS very caring - I love him. I've seen him once or twice before. Would he be doing anything differently? I don't know that he would, but maybe he would at least realize I'm suffering terribly and have some compassion?!? He's the type that always put his hand on my back and said "we'll get you feeling better" or something of the sort. But, when you've been seeing the same OB for 13yr how awkward is it to switch to another in the same office? What if she is on call when I deliver? Awkward?

 

On the other hand, I got a booklet from my insurance yesterday and there was a little blurb in there about how they provide a case management service to those with complicated or ongoing medical issues. I'm not sure if I'd qualify for that, but I thought it might be worth checking into. I think they would probably be a good advocate if I did. They also said that they will provide a "high risk assessment" for OB patients and help refer you to a specialist if they believe you could benefit from it - without a referral from your OB. I'm not sure I'd qualify as "high risk", but that might be an option too.

 

And then, there is the University, which while I DO like the idea of a consult and the possibility of more proactive care, I'm still not sure is the right answer for me right now. I'm on day 3 of these steroids (out of 5), and so far they DO seem to have stopped the vomiting and allowed me to eat minimal amounts. The constant nausea, though, has me nervous that as soon as the steroids are stopped I'll be right back to square one. Of course, I can't let myself go there. I can't speculate. I have to do this one day, really one hour at a time.

 

The days drag on, but I just keep trying to tell myself that with each day I survive, I'm one day closer to the end of all this. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, though, when you're so deep in the middle of it. I've completed 63 word finds in the last week just to keep my mind busy.....or else I dwell on how awful I feel, and that doesn't do anybody any good.

 

Anyway....I guess there really isn't a whole lot new, but that's the latest.....

 

Thanks to all who have been thinking of me and praying.

[LittleIzumi]

:grouphug: Hopefully the eating is the steroids working! If the HG continues I think the case management sounds like a great step.

[KerryAnn]

I'm so sorry you're suffering. I had HG with my son and I just had to take it one day at a time.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Oh, and to top it all off, DS is sick and I feel awful that I can't even comfort him. Sigh.

 

And one other thing. I've been avoiding doing a FB announcement, because I just really didn't want to hear all the "have you tried gingerale? crackers?" etc....comments. I don't have the energy to help everyone understand how far beyond that stage I am. Subsequently, only our families and one or two close friends know. I've really been too sick to even care. But today, as I was laying on the couch miserable....unable to even watch TV it hit me how I want to announce when I finally do. :) I have no idea when I will, but.....

 

The numbers are just guesses based on a google search....and really, insurance covered it all, but I thought it was kind of fun....and sums up the last 2 months pretty accurately.

[happyhomemaker]

I'm not going to pretend to know the right answer to your situation, but please don't let any idea of awkwardness between you and your current OB be a factor in your decision. Do what's best for your physical and emotional well-being. If anyone should feel awkward in a later situation, it should be the doc who didn't provide you with adequate care, not you!

:grouphug::grouphug:

I hope things turn around for you really soon!

[justLisa]

Look in to the insurance thing. Our insurance has some Stanford doctors that you can call and get an opinion with for difficult cases or when you are not making any progress with your current care.

[rjand6more]

Praying you will find relief soon! Really, eating and not throwing up IS the first step. I think the weakness(from dehydration and lack of calories) leads to prolonged illness. Not a dr here, but I have been where you are. In my worst HG pregnancy, the only way I could hold down food was with an IV and IV Zofran. It was a SLOW process. There is no magic moment(like others say it was a "switch " that went off and they miraculously felt better at 12 weeks or whatever...)

 

I am 16 weeks now and feeling so much better. I still have days(and hours) that are awful. But, I see a real difference in myself. I am even making dinner again(well, 2 times, but it's a start)

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to hear all the "advice" people have for morning sickness(I hate that term!!!). I have felt like at times people(READ:FAMILY) have blamed me for my situation. If I could take my vitamins(um, can't keep down WATER!), exercise(puke in the sink on the way through the kitchen!), gingerale, crackers, small meals.......Once a family member told me at the beginning of my 4th pregnancy(a few days before I got sick) to just think positively. That it was in my head. I told her I would love to come visit her when she is sick with say the flu and encourage her that she was not really feeling what she thought was and she could control her urge to puke and control her bowels. HMMMM... And although no one has actually said it to me, I have gotten the vibe that I have to think of the other kids and their needs when getting pregnant AGAIN and being down for so long is not good for them. They are learning compassion and how to care for those you love, and how not to be selfish. Can't find a curriculum to teach that.

 

Did you get your blood work back? Anything unusual?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I switched OBs (same office) around 5 months. There was no awkwardness and I was SOOO glad I did. The old OB probably never even recognized me the very few times we passed in the halls.

 

Did you just call and say you wanted to try someone new, or what? That whole idea makes me uncomfortable for some reason.

 

Look in to the insurance thing. Our insurance has some Stanford doctors that you can call and get an opinion with for difficult cases or when you are not making any progress with your current care.

 

I will call the number tomorrow if I feel like I have the energy to talk on the phone.

 

Praying you will find relief soon! Really, eating and not throwing up IS the first step. I think the weakness(from dehydration and lack of calories) leads to prolonged illness. Not a dr here, but I have been where you are. In my worst HG pregnancy, the only way I could hold down food was with an IV and IV Zofran. It was a SLOW process. There is no magic moment(like others say it was a "switch " that went off and they miraculously felt better at 12 weeks or whatever...)

 

I am 16 weeks now and feeling so much better. I still have days(and hours) that are awful. But, I see a real difference in myself. I am even making dinner again(well, 2 times, but it's a start)

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to hear all the "advice" people have for morning sickness(I hate that term!!!). I have felt like at times people(READ:FAMILY) have blamed me for my situation. If I could take my vitamins(um, can't keep down WATER!), exercise(puke in the sink on the way through the kitchen!), gingerale, crackers, small meals.......Once a family member told me at the beginning of my 4th pregnancy(a few days before I got sick) to just think positively. That it was in my head. I told her I would love to come visit her when she is sick with say the flu and encourage her that she was not really feeling what she thought was and she could control her urge to puke and control her bowels. HMMMM... And although no one has actually said it to me, I have gotten the vibe that I have to think of the other kids and their needs when getting pregnant AGAIN and being down for so long is not good for them. They are learning compassion and how to care for those you love, and how not to be selfish. Can't find a curriculum to teach that.

 

Did you get your blood work back? Anything unusual?

 

Amen!! 16wk is only 2.5wk away for me.....I have a feeling though, that this will be a many month long recovery. I have probably had the total of 3000 calories in 3+ weeks and been dehydrated the entire time. It's all I can do to get myself to the bathroom when I need to.

 

I did get the blood work back. They did a CMP. These were the abnormal results:

 

Potassium - low

BUN, blood - low

Creatinine, Serum - low

Albumin - low

Alkaline Phosphatase - low

BUN/Creatinine ration - low

Osmolality Calc - low

A/G ratio - low

 

I never heard anything from the dr's office about it. I had to ask the infusion center what they had done and for a copy of the results.

 

ETA: Basically, what I can gather about most of that is that I'm dehydrated and malnutrioned. I kind of already knew that, lol.

Edited October 11, 2012 by k2bdeutmeyer

[greenbabybottoms]

I have not read your previous posts but just wanted to offer sympathy. I had hG with all 3 of my pregnancies and went through numerous hospitalizations, bedrest, and a zofran pump and it is really awful. I remember getting all the "helpful" advice from everyone who would tell me "I never got sick, it helped to just drink a little ginger ale in the morning" or my MIL who told me that it was "all in my head". I wanted to throw up on those people.

 

I hope that you are about to turn a corner. To give you bit of hope when the hG ended with my 1st and 3rd it was like night and day and took me very little time to bounce back. It lasted until 19 and 23 weeks respectively but once it stopped it stopped.

[besroma]

Oh, and to top it all off, DS is sick and I feel awful that I can't even comfort him. Sigh.

 

The numbers are just guesses based on a google search....and really, insurance covered it all, but I thought it was kind of fun....and sums up the last 2 months pretty accurately.

 

I am sorry about your son. :grouphug:

 

I loved what you did......priceless! :D

[GAPeachie]

When I was so very, very sick with my second daughter (almost 30 weeks of intense vomiting and lots of fluids) I was considered high risk for the rest of the pregnancy.

 

I wish I would have pushed harder for a pump of Zofran. I managed to stay somewhat put together taking a combo of Reglan and Zofran around the clock. I look deathly ill in pictures from that period of time and it took me a long, long time to regain my strength.

 

((HUGS))

 

LOVE the pregnancy announcement.

[blakereese]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

Ugh. I am so sorry. I had HG with my last 2 pregnancies and it was so horrible. I really want another child, but I don't think I can be pregnant again. It was so debilitating and I don't want to go through it, I don't want my children to go through it, and I KNOW my DH doesn't want to go through it again. He was laid off work right before my last pregnancy, and it really was a blessing in disguise. I NEEDED him to be home because I was almost worthless. :(

 

And I HATE the gingle ale and saltines comments. :mad: To this day, my MIL talks about my little bout with morning sickness. :glare: She was the queen of telling me what would make me feel better. I could hardly talk about it during my 2nd pregnancy, it is just not something that anyone can understand until they have BTDT.

 

I would change OBs in a heartbeat. And I did. Midwives, actually. But anyway, just do what will be best for you and your family, and don't worry about any awkwardness.

 

I haven't read your other posts, so I am not sure on all of the details...but have you considered having a midwife? A CNM probably is what you would want, if it is an option for you. The level of compassion is like night and day, and there is more focus on getting you feeling better and trying all methods. Like more out of the box and less standard of care, iykwim? Not sure to say what I mean here, but I guess I feel like my OB was more about following the correct order of procedures and not listening to me as an individual, if that makes sense? Not that all OBs are that way, but I do think there is more of a tendency to be "textbook" about it and then think the patient is weird if they do not fit in that mold. When I found a midwife in my second pregnancy, I was much happier and she worked with me through 2 very hard HG pregnancies and a m/c and I am glad she was on my side. I never felt like I had to fight for care or to get her to listen, she always had ideas to try to help me. And it was different both pregnancies. Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there.

 

 

:grouphug: Hang in there, mama. It is worth it in the end. I know, I know, another annoying thing that everyone says, but in this case it is true. :)

Take care of you!

[Whereneverever]

Something to keep in mind is after a long bout of dehydration and being malnourished even if the nausea improves, you will not snap back to fine. It takes a long time to rebuild reserves and it's even harder while pregnant.

 

My HG has been under better control for weeks and I am still a shell of a person.

[Desert Rat]

Please call the nurse case manager! I can't believe I totally forgot about this! My mom was a nurse case manager for many years. She helped so many people and worked as an advocate for many clients in need. Call tomorrow!

[Mama Geek]

No advice, just :grouphug: