When do you find the time and privacy for.. ahem.. "alone time?"

[MommaOfalotta]

I have a 5yo dd and a 2 month old son. Ds is in our bedroom. Oh, and we live with my mother at the moment. :glare:

 

Im still getting used to this two kid thing;) and Ive realized that dh and I have only been alone for about TWO HOURS since ds was born, and that was our anniversary.. and we were out to dinner.

 

Im sorry if this is a little too private.. but Dh and I really need that special alone time.. if you catch my drift. But there is NO PRIVACY. If we weren't living with my mother I know it wouldn't even be an issue... but her bedroom is right across from ours. Ewww.

 

We. Cannot. Move. Fast. Enough.

Edited October 13, 2012 by BlessedMomma

[AK_Mom4]

Ouch!

In your situation, I would ask your mum to watch DD5 and go overnight to a hotel with DH and the little DS. Seriously!

[Snow]

I haven't tried this, but maybe plan a date night, drive to a private spot and stay in the car? Or, get a hotel room for a short time? I mean for the price of an evening out to dinner and the movies, you could get a room for the same price depending where you live!

Edited October 10, 2012 by NaturalKate

[T'smom]

Maybe your mom could take the oldest to the movies or something for the afternoon....hopefully the little one could sleep and you'd be alone in the house.

[MommaOfalotta]

Maybe your mom could take the oldest to the movies or something for the afternoon....hopefully the little one could sleep and you'd be alone in the house.

 

This has worked for us a few times but it does not happen often! I try and take advantage when it does!

[freeindeed]

Ouch!

In your situation, I would ask your mum to watch DD5 and go overnight to a hotel with DH and the little DS. Seriously!

 

:iagree:

[T'smom]

This has worked for us a few times but it does not happen often! I try and take advantage when it does!

 

I wouldn't just wait for it to happen.....ask her if she would take the oldest somewhere specific at a specific time. Like A sat afternoon matinee.

[MommaOfalotta]

As for the hotel idea... I have been obsessing over this for weeks! For our 2011 anni we went to a hotel in another town and it was soo perfect that we aimed to do that again this year.

 

However, my cousin gets married this month in S.C. and myself, my dd, and my dh are all in the wedding. We are scrimping PENNIES for this trip/wedding. We are very strapped financially anyway, without these added expenses (thus, living with my mother.)

 

*Sigh* Maybe some day. Maybe the hotel could be my Christmas present:lol:

[ELITEANDLOVINGIT]

In a worst case scenerio, go "out" to dinner (pack a lunch) and spend what you would have on a nice meal/wine/etc...on a room. :o)

 

I have a 5yo dd and a 2 month old son. Ds is in our bedroom. Oh, and we live with my mother at the moment. :glare:

 

Im still getting used to this two kid thing;) and Ive realized that dh and I have only been alone for about TWO HOURS since ds was born, and that was our anniversary.. and we were out to dinner.

 

Im sorry if this is a little too private.. but Dh and I really need that special alone time.. if you catch my drift. But there is NO PRIVACY. If we weren't living with my mother I know it wouldn't even be an issue... but her bedroom is right across from ours. Ewww.

 

We. Cannot. Move. Fast. Enough.

[MommaOfalotta]

I am really diggin the idea of scrapping dinner to pay for the room :001_smile:

 

Now to find the time and babysitter! Thank you all! I now have a mission:D

[TammyS]

Hotels are expensive, butttt

 

State parks with cabins that have beds can often be had in the range of $35/night. So, grab a couple of sleeping bags or blankets, and go pull in! Heck, you don't need to stay overnight to make it $35 well spent. A couple of hours of free time ought to be worth that. Cheaper than a decent restaraunt!

[MommaOfalotta]

I think you may be onto something my dear! Thank you!!

[jar7709]

DD was surprise concieved while we were living at my mom's house and DS was not yet 1 yo. Sometimes he would let us put him to sleep in another room, and my parents go to bed early, and we were quiet. ;) :lol:

 

Sorry that's not much help. But where there's a will, there's a way! :)

[Katy]

Beware of roaches in state park cabins.

 

Try a tent instead. Heck, you could get a 2-room tent, put the kids in one room and you in the other. Just be very, very quiet. Around here there are county parks with campgrounds for $8-12/night!

[MissKNG]

Can your mom take the kids somewhere for a few hours at the very least? A museum, lunch, a playground, the mall, or all of the above! Does your 2 month old nurse exclusively?

[Ottakee]

Can you put a TV or radio on in your room, near the doorway ALL the time you are in there? That helps muffle the sound here (we have teens) and if you do it all the time it is a little less suspect than if you do it just a "certain" times :-)

 

I agree with seeing if you could have your mother take at least the older one to a park, movie, etc.

[Impish]

We settle the kids at breakfast, and go for a quick cuppa ;):D

[KungFuPanda]

Shower.

[KungFuPanda]

Car.

[KungFuPanda]

Got a walk in closet?

[Impish]

Help w/laundry. ;)

[Desert Rat]

Shower. Walk in closet. Middle of the night and play the quiet game.

[MommaOfalotta]

These are so great! & I cant begin to tell you how true they are :) We have lived with my mother longer than I would like to admit.. When we first got married & dd was conceived here.. then we needed to move back some years later and ds was conceived here... :lol:

 

So we know all the tricks;)

 

Its just that we used to be home alone a lot more (she would take dd places daily almost.) Now with ds, we are never home alone. When she takes dd now, its always in the evening and ds is wide awake. (& even if he sleeps, his crib is in our room)

 

She won't take ds anywhere (and I wouldn't want her to, hes still so young.)

 

I guess we just need to learn what works all over again.. and hopefully we will be moving A-S-A-P!

[MommaOfalotta]

Plus my dh is on 3rd shift which makes weekends complicated (we are on different sleep schedules.) The other day I actually managed to have dh awake, and both kiddies napping. I guarantee, that will never happen again. Lol.

 

We have a lot working against us right now making this a liiiittle difficult. Thank you all for the advice!! :)

[Julie Smith]

If it was me, personally go for at night. You little one is little, turn the lights off. If he wakes up it's not like he will be tramaitized.

 

As for your mother hearing... I think she figured out long ago that you do it. :tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

If it was me, personally go for at night. You little one is little, turn the lights off. If he wakes up it's not like he will be tramaitized.

 

As for your mother hearing... I think she figured out long ago that you do it. :tongue_smilie:

...at least twice.

 

And in her house :eek:

[MommaOfalotta]

:ack2: Im just going to pretend I didn't read that..:lol:

 

To accept that would result in some sort of mental breakdown... I shall go on living in denial:D

 

She has no clue.

[Impish]

:ack2: Im just going to pretend I didn't read that..:lol:

 

To accept that would result in some sort of mental breakdown... I shall go on living in denial:D

 

She has no clue.

yeah, well...

My Dad claims he doesn't understand why Mary is such a big deal. I've had FIVE immaculate conceptions! :lol:

[Night Elf]

I thought it was difficult when the children were young, but now that they are teens it's downright near impossible. Our bedrooms are all on one hall so there is no privacy. The only alone time we now get is in the mornings (late mornings) because dd20 is usually working, dd14 is in school, and ds16 sleeps until noon.

[MommaOfalotta]

yeah, well...

My Dad claims he doesn't understand why Mary is such a big deal. I've had FIVE immaculate conceptions! :lol:

 

:lol:

[MommaOfalotta]

I thought it was difficult when the children were young, but now that they are teens it's downright near impossible. Our bedrooms are all on one hall so there is no privacy. The only alone time we now get is in the mornings (late mornings) because dd20 is usually working, dd14 is in school, and ds16 sleeps until noon.

 

Oh I wasn't even thinking about the teen years. I guess I should be enjoying the babies being clueless!:tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

I thought it was difficult when the children were young, but now that they are teens it's downright near impossible. Our bedrooms are all on one hall so there is no privacy. The only alone time we now get is in the mornings (late mornings) because dd20 is usually working, dd14 is in school, and ds16 sleeps until noon.

I genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult when they're teens.

 

I mean, they know about s*x, they know their parents must have brewed a few cuppas, so what's the problem? They're more than old enough to respect privacy, and not barge in...

 

not being snarky, genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult w/older kids.

[blondeviolin]

If it was me, personally go for at night. You little one is little, turn the lights off. If he wakes up it's not like he will be tramaitized.

 

As for your mother hearing... I think she figured out long ago that you do it. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

[MommaOfalotta]

I genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult when they're teens.

 

I mean, they know about s*x, they know their parents must have brewed a few cuppas, so what's the problem? They're more than old enough to respect privacy, and not barge in...

 

not being snarky, genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult w/older kids.

 

I think *for me anyway* its the idea of them being aware of what you're doing, when you're doing it. Thats how it is with my mother anyway. I know she knows we have s_x.. We're young, married, and have two children. I just dont want the bed squeaking the middle of the night to clue her in on when its going down.

 

Ohh.. I think I'm going to be sick. *shudders*

[----]

.

[Night Elf]

I genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult when they're teens.

 

I mean, they know about s*x, they know their parents must have brewed a few cuppas, so what's the problem? They're more than old enough to respect privacy, and not barge in...

 

not being snarky, genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult w/older kids.

 

I know they know we do it. I just don't want them to hear us doing it. The hallway is small and the bedroom doors don't even go all way to the floor. Sound carries very easily. Our house is too small to go anywhere else. I'm not saying we have Swinging from the Chandelier s*x, but we can't be 100% quiet. That's just creepy. We turn on music but just knowing the closest child is 20 ft. away is just a huge turn-off. I can't feel s*xual knowing my kids might hear me!

[FaithManor]

I have a 5yo dd and a 2 month old son. Ds is in our bedroom. Oh, and we live with my mother at the moment. :glare:

 

Im still getting used to this two kid thing;) and Ive realized that dh and I have only been alone for about TWO HOURS since ds was born, and that was our anniversary.. and we were out to dinner.

 

Im sorry if this is a little too private.. but Dh and I really need that special alone time.. if you catch my drift. But there is NO PRIVACY. If we weren't living with my mother I know it wouldn't even be an issue... but her bedroom is right across from ours. Ewww.

 

We. Cannot. Move. Fast. Enough.

 

Now is a good time to ask a very personal favor of a dear,dear friend if you have one. I.E. "Are you going out of town and could I use your house?" YES, a little desperate but I do have one friend that I would allow to use my guestroom for just such an occasion if she and hubby were living with family.

 

Faith

[MommaOfalotta]

I know they know we do it. I just don't want them to hear us doing it. The hallway is small and the bedroom doors don't even go all way to the floor. Sound carries very easily. Our house is too small to go anywhere else. I'm not saying we have Swinging from the Chandelier s*x, but we can't be 100% quiet. That's just creepy. We turn on music but just knowing the closest child is 20 ft. away is just a huge turn-off. I can't feel s*xual knowing my kids might hear me!

 

Exactly how I feel about the parental situation! Total turn off..:glare:

[happypamama]

(& even if he sleeps, his crib is in our room)

 

 

 

We've never even owned a crib, and we have four children. As long as you're quiet, the baby will likely just sleep in his crib while you spend time alone; you could also try playing some soft music or nature sounds near the crib.

[Annie G]

Now is a good time to ask a very personal favor of a dear,dear friend if you have one. I.E. "Are you going out of town and could I use your house?" YES, a little desperate but I do have one friend that I would allow to use my guestroom for just such an occasion if she and hubby were living with family.

 

Faith

 

You are a really, really good friend.

[crazyfordlr]

Help w/laundry. ;)

 

Wasn't that a Friends episode?

[mom2samlibby]

Now is a good time to ask a very personal favor of a dear,dear friend if you have one. I.E. "Are you going out of town and could I use your house?" YES, a little desperate but I do have one friend that I would allow to use my guestroom for just such an occasion if she and hubby were living with family.

 

Faith

 

:eek:

 

I think that would be even worse!

[LucyStoner]

My father has lived with us a fair bit. We once shared a wall with him. I am not going all celibate with my husband. We used to go to a motel about once a month but we also took advantage of early mornings and shared shower time. I wouldn't be loud but I also just wouldn't worry about finding ways to be intimate while other people are home. If someone knows what the closed door means or hears a squeak or two, so be it.

 

Also, if the bed is loud, try the floor. :tongue_smilie:

Edited October 11, 2012 by kijipt

[Jpoy85]

Id get creative. Shower? Woods by the house? Park? Etc. :001_smile:

[KungFuPanda]

Oh I wasn't even thinking about the teen years. I guess I should be enjoying the babies being clueless!:tongue_smilie:

 

I genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult when they're teens.

 

I mean, they know about s*x, they know their parents must have brewed a few cuppas, so what's the problem? They're more than old enough to respect privacy, and not barge in...

 

not being snarky, genuinely don't understand why it would be more difficult w/older kids.

 

Oh, just wait. Your teens will be mortified. They're all angsty and over-reacty by then anyway. In my house, we have an unspoken policy where we pretend DD15 can't hear us and she pretends she can't hear us. We never, ever speak of it. It'll work until she has a breakdown and needs therapy.

 

My youngest will not be so discreet and our comfortable little arrangement will go down the tubes any moment now. He knows what 'it' is, but he still thinks any sounds he hears is 'someone' having bad dreams.

 

I wish we would have considered houses with main floor master bedrooms :glare:

[MommaOfalotta]

Oh, just wait. Your teens will be mortified. They're all angsty and over-reacty by then anyway. In my house, we have an unspoken policy where we pretend DD15 can't hear us and she pretends she can't hear us. We never, ever speak of it. It'll work until she has a breakdown and needs therapy.

 

My youngest will not be so discreet and our comfortable little arrangement will go down the tubes any moment now. He knows what 'it' is, but he still thinks any sounds he hears is 'someone' having bad dreams.

 

I wish we would have considered houses with main floor master bedrooms :glare:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Night Elf]

Oh, just wait. Your teens will be mortified. They're all angsty and over-reacty by then anyway. In my house, we have an unspoken policy where we pretend DD15 can't hear us and she pretends she can't hear us. We never, ever speak of it. It'll work until she has a breakdown and needs therapy.

 

My youngest will not be so discreet and our comfortable little arrangement will go down the tubes any moment now. He knows what 'it' is, but he still thinks any sounds he hears is 'someone' having bad dreams.

 

I wish we would have considered houses with main floor master bedrooms :glare:

 

I know, right!? So another way to look at it is how would I feel if I heard my own mom. That totally flips me out. There are just things I really, really do not need to experience. When she had an auto accident and broke both legs, she thought it was fine to talk to me about how she was getting creative. I was 30 yrs. old and it still freaked me out. Good grief! I don't think that makes me a prude. I'm just not interested in shared experiences in that fashion.

 

I didn't think about this when we we bought this house 7 yrs. ago either. It's just not cool.

[Melissa in Australia]

I don't understand what the big deal is. I co-slept with my babies, it didn't put a damper on anything at all. I have also had to live at my mother's with Dh and 2 children for a month while we were plastering our house (years and years ago when I only had 2 children) this didn't stop us either. I have a house full of mostly teens.

How do you think people managed living in teeny tiny houses, or log cabins where the whole family was in one room? Isn't that what bed coverings are for?

[MommaOfalotta]

I don't understand what the big deal is. I co-slept with my babies, it didn't put a damper on anything at all. I have also had to live at my mother's with Dh and 2 children for a month while we were plastering our house (years and years ago when I only had 2 children) this didn't stop us either. I have a house full of mostly teens.

How do you think people managed living in teeny tiny houses, or log cabins where the whole family was in one room? Isn't that what bed coverings are for?

 

I guess Im just a little more private than that. The thought of my mom hearing/knowing when we are having s*x grosses me out beyond belief and is a total mood killer.

 

Its the same about anyone else though, family or not. I dont want anyone to hear/know and I dont want to hear anyone else. Thats Private time. lol. And they did a lot of things back then that we also don't do any more these days. Thank God we have made some progress, if not in all other areas at least in that one!:lol:

[Laura Corin]

I thought it was difficult when the children were young, but now that they are teens it's downright near impossible. Our bedrooms are all on one hall so there is no privacy. The only alone time we now get is in the mornings (late mornings) because dd20 is usually working, dd14 is in school, and ds16 sleeps until noon.

 

Either we get up late or (more frequently) we just announce we are going for a nap. And then we lock the door.

 

Laura