I am really struggling with hsing...Are some ppl just not cut out for it?

[mama2cntrykids]

I am having a heck of a time. We've been hsing off/on for five years (this is the beginning of our fifth year). I have a toddler, 1st grader, 4th grader and 6th grader.

 

I feel like maybe I'm not cut out to be their teacher. My patience is nill and I loose my temper. My 4th grader really has a hard time doing what he's told and I get sick of implementing strategies to help him do what he needs to be doing.

 

I really am NOT enjoying hsing. I DO enjoy having my kids with me all day and that is a factor in not sending them to ps. None of them really want to go either. In fact, my 4th grader refuses even the thought of it. He went to ps Kindy and while he was fine academically, he struggled with the other kids.

 

I don't know...maybe I'm not cut out for this. BUT, I cringe at the thought of some of the things they'd be exposed to in ps.

 

Can someone talk me through this, please:bigear::grouphug:?

[klmama]

What approach are you using? Textbooks, unit studies, WTM, or something else?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I don't have much advice, but I feel the same way about HSing. I started HSing because I believed I could provide a superior education, but I'm struggling so hard with other aspects of HSing that I'm afraid it's starting to affect the education I want them to have anyway.

 

Anyway, I'll be :bigear:. You're not alone.

[Mom28kds]

Maybe you are doing too much. Try simplifying.

[LittleIzumi]

Do you take time away for yourself regularly? I am much more balanced if I have some kid-free time weekly.

[Guest inoubliable]

Maybe you are doing too much. Try simplifying.

 

That would be the first thing I would try to do. Go back and remember why you felt HS'ing was the best choice for your family and think about what it was you really wanted to provide your children, educationally. I know plenty of homeschooling families who get overwhelmed easily with new curriculum, Pinterest ideas (really!), keeping up with the Jones' in terms of extracurriculars and expensive lab equipment, etc. Figure out what you want/need to teach them, make sure you aren't overloading the kids, make sure you aren't driving yourself bonkers because it's taking you hours to plan out all that curriculum you bought, that sort of thing.

[chiguirre]

It's no fun to hs an asd kid. Hsing Geezle is a lot of work and very little joy. That's the way it is. Try to focus on the satisfaction you get from hsing your other kids. Every time I feel like the world's worst hser, I think about Trinqueta's accomplishments and that helps a lot.

 

You could consider sending your aspie to school if you think your ps will do a good job with him. I know that my local ISD doesn't do a good job with spectrum kids from first hand experience, so I keep plugging away at hsing Geezle since it's our best option. If you think that hsing is your best option, stick with it, just realize that it won't be an easy choice.

 

The Special Needs board has helped me out a lot in picking curriculum, tweeking teaching strategies and general commiseration.

[speedmom4]

I highly recommend the book Managers of Their School by the Maxwells. They are advocates for textbooks and that is the main point of the book. I use a combination of textbooks and literature based curriculum. The book has so much good information in it. It really is about how to organize school days and help for getting children to get their work done. I was very inspired by the book even though I have a much more liberal view than they do about a lot of things. It has lots of homeschooling wisdom to share.

 

Don't give up before you read that book!

 

God Blees,

 

Elise in NC

[butterflymommy]

I found it was best to focus on the basics, don't "teach" unless needed, make sure you have "me" time, and don't set your standards too high. HSers tend to have very high ("tiger mom") standards and you're just setting yourself up for feelings of inadequacy. Just know that if they have a reasonable handle on the basics, you're doing better than a lot of schools can say. I don't say that to bash schools, just being realistic, from what I've seen.

[*Lulu*]

:grouphug:

 

 

Honestly, some people are not cut out to homeschool. BUT.......

 

I wouldn't be so quick to identify yourself that way. There is a lot of chaos that comes with homeschooling upper elementary with toddlers and preschoolers in the mix (not to mention a child with any sort of special need); maybe your frustration is less a result of your ability and more about not having found a rhythm that works for you. (Part of having a working flow includes having your needs met; you are part of the family too!)

 

 

:grouphug:

Edited October 10, 2012 by BLA5

[mama2cntrykids]

What approach are you using? Textbooks, unit studies, WTM, or something else?

I am using a mix. We use My Fathers World (and any of the books they use in their course), Teaching Textbooks, Christian Light Education, and a cursive course. I was just thinking earlier that maybe we need to use something different, like a strictly workbook approach. I just struggle with teaching, I think.

 

I don't have much advice, but I feel the same way about HSing. I started HSing because I believed I could provide a superior education, but I'm struggling so hard with other aspects of HSing that I'm afraid it's starting to affect the education I want them to have anyway.

 

Anyway, I'll be :bigear:. You're not alone.

It *is* nice to know we're not alone, isn't it?

 

Maybe you are doing too much. Try simplifying.

I would have to give this some thought as well.

[mama2cntrykids]

Do you take time away for yourself regularly? I am much more balanced if I have some kid-free time weekly.

Nope. I get no me time, really. It's sad, but true. I keep hinting about it to dh, but he doesn't get it. It's going to come to the point where I have to just do it, I guess.

That would be the first thing I would try to do. Go back and remember why you felt HS'ing was the best choice for your family and think about what it was you really wanted to provide your children, educationally. I know plenty of homeschooling families who get overwhelmed easily with new curriculum, Pinterest ideas (really!), keeping up with the Jones' in terms of extracurriculars and expensive lab equipment, etc. Figure out what you want/need to teach them, make sure you aren't overloading the kids, make sure you aren't driving yourself bonkers because it's taking you hours to plan out all that curriculum you bought, that sort of thing.

Thank you for bringing this to mind. I think sometimes, we as hsers, just try to do everything.

It's no fun to hs an asd kid. Hsing Geezle is a lot of work and very little joy. That's the way it is. Try to focus on the satisfaction you get from hsing your other kids. Every time I feel like the world's worst hser, I think about Trinqueta's accomplishments and that helps a lot.

 

You could consider sending your aspie to school if you think your ps will do a good job with him. I know that my local ISD doesn't do a good job with spectrum kids from first hand experience, so I keep plugging away at hsing Geezle since it's our best option. If you think that hsing is your best option, stick with it, just realize that it won't be an easy choice.

 

The Special Needs board has helped me out a lot in picking curriculum, tweeking teaching strategies and general commiseration.

I don't know about the ps here. I'm thinking I might be trading one set of problems for another. I've thought and prayed SO MUCH about this. Uggg...he is such a challenge and has been since 1st grade (in terms of school). BUT, he is getting better (very slowly). When I'm in the thick of everything, it's hard to step back, you know?

 

I highly recommend the book Managers of Their School by the Maxwells. They are advocates for textbooks and that is the main point of the book. I use a combination of textbooks and literature based curriculum. The book has so much good information in it. It really is about how to organize school days and help for getting children to get their work done. I was very inspired by the book even though I have a much more liberal view than they do about a lot of things. It has lots of homeschooling wisdom to share.

 

Don't give up before you read that book!

 

God Blees,

 

Elise in NC

I've heard of this book! I think I might have to buy it used somewhere. It couldn't hurt. Thank you for the glimpse!

 

I found it was best to focus on the basics, don't "teach" unless needed, make sure you have "me" time, and don't set your standards too high. HSers tend to have very high ("tiger mom") standards and you're just setting yourself up for feelings of inadequacy. Just know that if they have a reasonable handle on the basics, you're doing better than a lot of schools can say. I don't say that to bash schools, just being realistic, from what I've seen.

You are totally right on!

:grouphug:

 

 

Honestly, some people are not cut out to homeschool. BUT.......

 

I wouldn't be so quick to identify yourself that way. There is a lot of chaos that comes with homeschooling upper elementary with toddlers and preschoolers in the mix (not to mention a child with any sort of special need); maybe your frustration is less a result of your ability and more about not having found a rhythm that works for you. (Part of having a working flow includes having your needs met; you are part of the family too!)

 

 

:grouphug:

Thank you for your kind words. They really do help:grouphug:.

[JenC3]

Some years are just bad. Try to focus on the skill subjects getting done and unschool the rest.

[fairfarmhand]

I am using a mix. We use My Fathers World (and any of the books they use in their course), Teaching Textbooks, Christian Light Education, and a cursive course. I was just thinking earlier that maybe we need to use something different, like a strictly workbook approach. I just struggle with teaching, I think.

 

 

It *is* nice to know we're not alone, isn't it?

 

 

I would have to give this some thought as well.

MFW has always scared me because of the teaching aspect. Some days when I had infants and toddlers, I needed something that I could teach and then tell the kid, do page x and y. So that they were making some progress while I was wiping bottoms and nursing. I just couldn't have all the schooled kids sitting at the table waiting on me while I'm chasing the toddler around the house trying to put a clean diaper on him. KWIM?

 

For my kids, when my littles were your kids' ages, I'd spend like 1 hour with my bigger kids, getting all the teaching out of the way, allowing them to do a practice exercise or two for each concept taught, and then hand them the stack of books and assignment sheet. Most often they'd work around the table and I was available for questions and to keep them on task.

 

So I could teach one kid for an hour, then do stuff with my Ker/1st grader (since these don't work well independently) then I'd let my young learners play educational computer games like starfall.com and some others that I have. Read aloud time is for everyone, as is craft time.

 

All though in theory I love lit-based approaches, I never was able to have it work for me.

[Critterfixer]

You do need to schedule yourself "me" time. You just have to do it. No if, and or but about it.

I did that about a year ago--but now, me time is not time spent on the couch or in front of the computer. (That's spare time--which I still don't have a lot of!) Me time is time spent on developing me. I put aside about three hours a day for it. One and a half hours are spent in exercise or outdoor activity. Sometimes the kids join me. But when I first started it, I had to train them to leave me alone for that time. Now they can join, because they know that when I say "scat" they need to scat. My temper is so much better just because I get hard physical exercise now.

 

The other hour and a half is spent on my mind. I read during that time. Sometimes I read things on teaching, but more often than not I read the books that I should have read long ago. I just finished up Les Miserable, and actually enjoyed the workout. It gives me incentive to keep working at teaching, because I'm learning right along with the boys.

 

I found that if I took me time and used it for "light" entertainment I ended up feeling sour, as if I had wasted it. But when I would read good books, and write my stories I felt restored.

 

Most important of all--you need to be taking care of yourself. You need to be eating right, and that could mean a lot less cooking because truly, simple things can be very good for you. You need to be getting enough sleep to be at your best. Hard, I know. But if you don't you are going to be short-tempered. What's probably worst about not having enough sleep is that the ability to cope with the day just seems not to be there. When I'm well rested, I can rebound from a bad moment, gather and go on. If I'm tired, not only will I overreact, but I'll stew about it until it flavors the rest of the day. Not worth it. I go to bed right after the kids go to bed.

 

I've noticed that the better I take care of myself, the more capacity I have to take care of everything else.

[LittleIzumi]

Nope. I get no me time, really. It's sad, but true. I keep hinting about it to dh, but he doesn't get it. It's going to come to the point where I have to just do it, I guess.

 

Thank you for your kind words. They really do help:grouphug:.

 

yes, you do!!! Everyone needs a break sometimes, esp when you're teacher and mom! Here I have a standing grownup night (knitting group) and I remind dh in the morning that tonight is knit night, so be home by X time, love you! :D

[Joanne]

I am having a heck of a time. We've been hsing off/on for five years (this is the beginning of our fifth year). I have a toddler, 1st grader, 4th grader and 6th grader.

 

I feel like maybe I'm not cut out to be their teacher. My patience is nill and I loose my temper. My 4th grader really has a hard time doing what he's told and I get sick of implementing strategies to help him do what he needs to be doing.

 

I really am NOT enjoying hsing. I DO enjoy having my kids with me all day and that is a factor in not sending them to ps. None of them really want to go either. In fact, my 4th grader refuses even the thought of it. He went to ps Kindy and while he was fine academically, he struggled with the other kids.

 

I don't know...maybe I'm not cut out for this. BUT, I cringe at the thought of some of the things they'd be exposed to in ps.

 

Can someone talk me through this, please:bigear::grouphug:?

 

 

I'm not sure how long you've been around, so I just wanted to say that I homeschooled over 10 years, and homeschooled my oldest into his first year of high school.

 

The bold? It's a poor reason to homeschool. Try to work towards homeschooling for positive reasons - not running from something. Work towards homeschooling for academics, rich literature, better math, family flexibility. Something other than avoiding public school.

 

And, if you want to continue to homeschool, take public school OFF the plate as an option. See, the thing is when you make a counter cultural choice, the *cultural* or expected choice hovers around in the minds of everyone as the default answer whenever you hit a bump in the road.

 

I've seen the best outcomes with homsechoolers who embrace homeschooling and look for *homeschooling* solutions for their challenges.

 

I don't know if you are Christian, but when I was Christian and homeschooling, I found "Beyond Survival" a good book. Another oldie but goodie was The Joyful Homeschooler by Hood.

 

Finally, make it an intentional point to connect with your kids - don't wait for improved days or better behavior. Become lighthearted and playful *now* and the better behavior will come.

[Eileen Aroon]

You do need to schedule yourself "me" time. You just have to do it. No if, and or but about it.

I did that about a year ago--but now, me time is not time spent on the couch or in front of the computer. (That's spare time--which I still don't have a lot of!) Me time is time spent on developing me. I put aside about three hours a day for it. One and a half hours are spent in exercise or outdoor activity. Sometimes the kids join me. But when I first started it, I had to train them to leave me alone for that time. Now they can join, because they know that when I say "scat" they need to scat. My temper is so much better just because I get hard physical exercise now.

 

The other hour and a half is spent on my mind. I read during that time. Sometimes I read things on teaching, but more often than not I read the books that I should have read long ago. I just finished up Les Miserable, and actually enjoyed the workout. It gives me incentive to keep working at teaching, because I'm learning right along with the boys.

 

I found that if I took me time and used it for "light" entertainment I ended up feeling sour, as if I had wasted it. But when I would read good books, and write my stories I felt restored.

 

Most important of all--you need to be taking care of yourself. You need to be eating right, and that could mean a lot less cooking because truly, simple things can be very good for you. You need to be getting enough sleep to be at your best. Hard, I know. But if you don't you are going to be short-tempered. What's probably worst about not having enough sleep is that the ability to cope with the day just seems not to be there. When I'm well rested, I can rebound from a bad moment, gather and go on. If I'm tired, not only will I overreact, but I'll stew about it until it flavors the rest of the day. Not worth it. I go to bed right after the kids go to bed.

 

I've noticed that the better I take care of myself, the more capacity I have to take care of everything else.

 

At first I was like 3 hours? Where does she get the time? But on reflection I spend that much time on light stuff (tv and internet). Your post helped me re-evaluate what I can do to actually feel rejuvenated instead of sour. I love it!

[mama2cntrykids]

Some years are just bad. Try to focus on the skill subjects getting done and unschool the rest.

I've given this some thought too. It may come to that with my Aspie at least. He just has a really hard time with comprehension. UNLESS it's something he's passionate about.

 

MFW has always scared me because of the teaching aspect. Some days when I had infants and toddlers, I needed something that I could teach and then tell the kid, do page x and y. So that they were making some progress while I was wiping bottoms and nursing. I just couldn't have all the schooled kids sitting at the table waiting on me while I'm chasing the toddler around the house trying to put a clean diaper on him. KWIM?

 

For my kids, when my littles were your kids' ages, I'd spend like 1 hour with my bigger kids, getting all the teaching out of the way, allowing them to do a practice exercise or two for each concept taught, and then hand them the stack of books and assignment sheet. Most often they'd work around the table and I was available for questions and to keep them on task.

 

So I could teach one kid for an hour, then do stuff with my Ker/1st grader (since these don't work well independently) then I'd let my young learners play educational computer games like starfall.com and some others that I have. Read aloud time is for everyone, as is craft time.

 

All though in theory I love lit-based approaches, I never was able to have it work for me.

I know what you mean on the bolded. I love the CM approach, lapbooks, fun hands-on stuff, but I've come to realize that those things aren't something that I can DO. I just am NOT that teacher/parent. I wish that I were, trust me.

You do need to schedule yourself "me" time. You just have to do it. No if, and or but about it.

I did that about a year ago--but now, me time is not time spent on the couch or in front of the computer. (That's spare time--which I still don't have a lot of!) Me time is time spent on developing me. I put aside about three hours a day for it. One and a half hours are spent in exercise or outdoor activity. Sometimes the kids join me. But when I first started it, I had to train them to leave me alone for that time. Now they can join, because they know that when I say "scat" they need to scat. My temper is so much better just because I get hard physical exercise now.

 

The other hour and a half is spent on my mind. I read during that time. Sometimes I read things on teaching, but more often than not I read the books that I should have read long ago. I just finished up Les Miserable, and actually enjoyed the workout. It gives me incentive to keep working at teaching, because I'm learning right along with the boys.

 

I found that if I took me time and used it for "light" entertainment I ended up feeling sour, as if I had wasted it. But when I would read good books, and write my stories I felt restored.

 

Most important of all--you need to be taking care of yourself. You need to be eating right, and that could mean a lot less cooking because truly, simple things can be very good for you. You need to be getting enough sleep to be at your best. Hard, I know. But if you don't you are going to be short-tempered. What's probably worst about not having enough sleep is that the ability to cope with the day just seems not to be there. When I'm well rested, I can rebound from a bad moment, gather and go on. If I'm tired, not only will I overreact, but I'll stew about it until it flavors the rest of the day. Not worth it. I go to bed right after the kids go to bed.

 

I've noticed that the better I take care of myself, the more capacity I have to take care of everything else.

Yes, I totally agree. I *do* need me time. It's hard. Especially with a dh who is only home on the weekends. Then he sleeps half the time b/c he's just so tired from working 12 hr. overnights. Blah!

I'm not sure how long you've been around, so I just wanted to say that I homeschooled over 10 years, and homeschooled my oldest into his first year of high school.

 

The bold? It's a poor reason to homeschool. Try to work towards homeschooling for positive reasons - not running from something. Work towards homeschooling for academics, rich literature, better math, family flexibility. Something other than avoiding public school.

 

And, if you want to continue to homeschool, take public school OFF the plate as an option. See, the thing is when you make a counter cultural choice, the *cultural* or expected choice hovers around in the minds of everyone as the default answer whenever you hit a bump in the road.

 

I've seen the best outcomes with homsechoolers who embrace homeschooling and look for *homeschooling* solutions for their challenges.

 

I don't know if you are Christian, but when I was Christian and homeschooling, I found "Beyond Survival" a good book. Another oldie but goodie was The Joyful Homeschooler by Hood.

 

Finally, make it an intentional point to connect with your kids - don't wait for improved days or better behavior. Become lighthearted and playful *now* and the better behavior will come.

Thank you so much for your insight, Joanne. Especially the bolded part. Man, am I looking at it in the wrong perspective. I am going to sit the kids down and apologize for always allowing PS to be the threat. To even be on the radar at all.

 

So, a heartfelt thank you, Joanne! Oh and thanks for the book recs too. I think that I've read Beyond Survival years ago. Looks like I need to check it out again. I thought that I owned it, but can't find it. Any yes, I *am* a Christian.

[journey00]

Some years are just bad. Try to focus on the skill subjects getting done and unschool the rest.

 

Good advice.

 

Also, try Time4learning. It is an online, self-paced program. It has Math, Social Studies, Languager Arts, Science, etc. It is very visual & animated and it automatically grades & gives feedback. My kids log on themselves. Most kids like it. They have a free trial and you might want to let your kids try it out while you get some much needed rest...it may be better to do this and avoid burn-out than sending them back to school. Then when you feel better you could go back to the books. Good luck.

[blakereese]

I'm not sure how long you've been around, so I just wanted to say that I homeschooled over 10 years, and homeschooled my oldest into his first year of high school.

 

The bold? It's a poor reason to homeschool. Try to work towards homeschooling for positive reasons - not running from something. Work towards homeschooling for academics, rich literature, better math, family flexibility. Something other than avoiding public school.

 

And, if you want to continue to homeschool, take public school OFF the plate as an option. See, the thing is when you make a counter cultural choice, the *cultural* or expected choice hovers around in the minds of everyone as the default answer whenever you hit a bump in the road.

 

I've seen the best outcomes with homschoolers who embrace homeschooling and look for *homeschooling* solutions for their challenges.

 

I don't know if you are Christian, but when I was Christian and homeschooling, I found "Beyond Survival" a good book. Another oldie but goodie was The Joyful Homeschooler by Hood.

 

Finally, make it an intentional point to connect with your kids - don't wait for improved days or better behavior. Become lighthearted and playful *now* and the better behavior will come.

 

 

:iagree:Especially with the bolded. :) Great advice.

[swellmomma]

I get it. I love being home with my kids, I do love that I homeschool but I do not love actually doing it. More correctly I don't like the fighting/stress tied to actually doing it. Public school at this point is off the table. It does not offer what my kids need. I know that homeschooling is working for them academically, I know they are learning and growing and doing well BUT I am not the mom now that I was when I started out 7 years ago. I am not as patient, I am more short tempered, I am not as much fun, I am much more regimented. That is what living 24/7 in the same house as these kids did to me. Maybe one day I will regain who I was but for now it is gone. Sucked right out of me while dealing with their special needs and the struggles associated with homeschooling. We have fun together, but in 7 years we have still never found our groove. The work gets done but not without a struggle. I am considering the ps high school for next year for the oldest. Most likely he will fail since the school has zero supports for kids with special needs, and I can not drive him an hour away each day to go elsewhere. I know I am cut out to be a homeschool mom, just not necessarily to all 4 of my kids. Then again that could be the burn out talking. I have been burnt out for years now and that makes a huge impact. Their individual personalities and how it they are with their special needs helps too. And the fact I have spent the last 48 hours dealing with WW3 here. Whenever there is a change in the weather I have horrible kids. The non-stop fighting amongst them for 48 hours has me thinking even the worst ps on the planet would be better than this. In a few days ask me again.

[hsingscrapper]

I have days like that. Days where I just do *not* want to get out of bed or deal with my dc more than to make sure they have food in their bellies and dry pants for the youngest.

 

On those days, I get myself out of bed. I don't rush them out of bed. I grab a cup of coffee and breathe deep. On days when the frustration sets in during school, reading time is very thoroughly enforced and I get, if Mr. P is napping, an hour to unwind.

 

Maybe instituting a post-lunch time of reading or quiet play would help. I also send the bigs to church on Sundays. That buys me time with just the toddler and dh or just dh if the little sleeps in.

 

Stand your ground! Make an hour gap between their latest bedtime and yours. Get "chip faced" on your favorite ice cream.

[Jane Elliot]

I highly recommend the book Managers of Their School by the Maxwells. They are advocates for textbooks and that is the main point of the book. I use a combination of textbooks and literature based curriculum. The book has so much good information in it. It really is about how to organize school days and help for getting children to get their work done. I was very inspired by the book even though I have a much more liberal view than they do about a lot of things. It has lots of homeschooling wisdom to share.

 

Don't give up before you read that book!

 

God Blees,

 

Elise in NC

 

I agree that the Maxwells' books are immensely helpful, although personally I found Managers of Their Schools less helpful (for me!) than the others. For the original poster though, their book Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit is the first one I'd recommend. It's an easier read, gets to the heart of things, and specifically addresses several of the concerns the OP has. Teri gets very transparent about her own struggles in that book. I know several moms who've seen positive changes in themselves and their homes because of reading it.

 

Best wishes to the op. Like Elise says, don't give up before you try one of the Maxwell's books.

Edited October 11, 2012 by Luann in ID

[Ghee]

First, I think you are letting this get the better of you. Don't stress that you can't "do it all". No one can, even if we all want to. I'd stick with the three Rs five days a week, for a short period of time on each (think 30 min). Don't "teach it", do it with them. Model it first, let them watch you do one or two. Then get their input on a couple more as you do them. Next, have them do it as you help them remember the steps. Finally, have them do a few (anywhere from one to whatever works, just cut it off when you see them fizzling out and then aim for that number later on) on their own and you check to see how they did. Try alternating days for science and history, make it fun. We have binders that I made. One has Egyptians gods, another states, another presidents, another solar system. Each binder has a range of activities for each subject (president, state, etc..), from coloring and handwriting sheets to note booking pages and even a scrapbooking page. I base the activities on age and capability levels. We do two days of science and two of history each week, or aim for it LOL. It's not super in depth, but more than they'd get in PS. We supplement the binders with YouTube and Netflix videos, field trips, and crafts. My older two read books suggested by oak meadow and FIAR, they summarize the chapters in a literature notebook, and, occasionally, do an additional lapbook type project for the book. Not everyone is going to be rigorous. Life goes on.

 

You also need to get away some. Sometimes I take myself off to the library, dig through the racks at Goodwill, troll the clearance shelf at half price books. None of it is expensive, it's just fun to do.

[T'smom]

You do need to schedule yourself "me" time. You just have to do it. No if, and or but about it.

I did that about a year ago--but now, me time is not time spent on the couch or in front of the computer. (That's spare time--which I still don't have a lot of!) Me time is time spent on developing me. I put aside about three hours a day for it. One and a half hours are spent in exercise or outdoor activity. Sometimes the kids join me. But when I first started it, I had to train them to leave me alone for that time. Now they can join, because they know that when I say "scat" they need to scat. My temper is so much better just because I get hard physical exercise now.

 

The other hour and a half is spent on my mind. I read during that time. Sometimes I read things on teaching, but more often than not I read the books that I should have read long ago. I just finished up Les Miserable, and actually enjoyed the workout. It gives me incentive to keep working at teaching, because I'm learning right along with the boys.

 

I found that if I took me time and used it for "light" entertainment I ended up feeling sour, as if I had wasted it. But when I would read good books, and write my stories I felt restored.

 

Most important of all--you need to be taking care of yourself. You need to be eating right, and that could mean a lot less cooking because truly, simple things can be very good for you. You need to be getting enough sleep to be at your best. Hard, I know. But if you don't you are going to be short-tempered. What's probably worst about not having enough sleep is that the ability to cope with the day just seems not to be there. When I'm well rested, I can rebound from a bad moment, gather and go on. If I'm tired, not only will I overreact, but I'll stew about it until it flavors the rest of the day. Not worth it. I go to bed right after the kids go to bed.

 

I've noticed that the better I take care of myself, the more capacity I have to take care of everything else.

 

Thank you so much for this post. It has been very helpful for me. Possibly the most helpful thing I have ever read.