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What is wrong with today's society?! Why can't a happy couple with a sturdy marriage have kids without everyone looking at us like we're fanatics or weirdos?! We LIKE kids.

 

I hardly even want to go out with my kids because I'm starting to show and now get weird stares and comments. One lady even said to me, "You know, they make birth control for that?" I looked at her only child and said, "You know, they make Viagra for that."

 

It's so sad that our society sees children as a nuisance and things that get in the way rather than the blessings they are! I understand some families may choose to have one or two kids, but don't belittle my choice to have more.

 

Okay, whew! /venting

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So funny! Did you actually say that?! Wow! Good for you! If it makes you feel any better, my mom used to get the same comments at the grocery store because she had three!!! and I'm pretty sure the average children per household has only dropped in the last 30 years so that baffles me. (I think part of it was my bro and sis were only 18mths apart)

Brownie

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One lady even said to me, "You know, they make birth control for that?" I looked at her only child and said, "You know, they make Viagra for that."

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

 

We have some young friends with a pile of kids (currently 5). She says that when anyone asks if they know what causes that she sweetly answers, "Yes, and we like it!" That usually shuts them up.

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This week a new acquaintance learned that I have 8 children, and she went off about how crazy I was. She was serious. I heard a woman at church respond to another mom's announcement by a serious, "you are crazy." When I heard that I couldn't help but say, "the appropriate response is congratulations." Our nation needs to read Miss Manners. Sigh.

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What is wrong with today's society?! Why can't a happy couple with a sturdy marriage have kids without everyone looking at us like we're fanatics or weirdos?! We LIKE kids.

 

I hardly even want to go out with my kids because I'm starting to show and now get weird stares and comments. One lady even said to me, "You know, they make birth control for that?" I looked at her only child and said, "You know, they make Viagra for that."

 

It's so sad that our society sees children as a nuisance and things that get in the way rather than the blessings they are! I understand some families may choose to have one or two kids, but don't belittle my choice to have more.

 

Okay, whew! /venting

 

Congrads on your new one coming along. I love my dd to pieces and wish that we could have a whole slew of kids. However I am in my late 30's and it took us a long time to have dd. For many years of our marriage I always heard comments like when you going to finally have kids. That really hurts when you really want them and haven't been able to. Love you kids all 5 of them.:)

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Please tell me you actually said the Viagra comment out loud!!!

 

I got those comments when I was pg with #3, from my mil (bless her heart). It's a baby, not a nuclear bomb! People are dumb. Just lower your expectations and you won't be disappointed. Sad but true.

 

And congrats on the new baby!

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People are douchcanoes. Really.

 

Our first five came in 7 yrs. So when we were finally blessed with Leah 3 yrs later, people were like, "Oh, I thought you'd finally figured out how that happens! What were you thinking?" Made me a little stabby. She was a very wanted, very prayed for baby, as I'd lost two that year.

 

It's like when people say (in front of their kids!), "I don't know how you homeschool. I'd kill my kids."

 

Nice.

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This week a new acquaintance learned that I have 8 children, and she went off about how crazy I was. She was serious. I heard a woman at church respond to another mom's announcement by a serious, "you are crazy." When I heard that I couldn't help but say, "the appropriate response is congratulations." Our nation needs to read Miss Manners. Sigh.

 

When it happens at church I am NOT afraid to call out that attitude as sin. (I'm not saying bc is sin, but the attitude that children are not blessings definitely is!) I look them straight in the eye and tell them I'm sorry they disagree with the Lord on the subject (Ps 127:3, Ps 128:3), but children are a gift and a blessing.

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I always try to go out of my way to be enthusiastic for moms pregnant with #4, 5, 6, whatever, or if their child is a "caboose" by several years. I want them to know that there *are* a few people without large families who, nonetheless, think it's great!

 

People's rude responses were such a shock to me when my sister was pg with #5. I couldn't believe how people reacted to the news, even when I was the one giving the news! The same people who had been happy to hear about her previous babies were suddenly, "Holy cow! WHAT? Didn't she just have a baby a couple years ago???" I was :001_huh:

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Congrads on your new one coming along. I love my dd to pieces and wish that we could have a whole slew of kids. However I am in my late 30's and it took us a long time to have dd. For many years of our marriage I always heard comments like when you going to finally have kids. That really hurts when you really want them and haven't been able to. Love you kids all 5 of them.:)

 

My BFF has 5, I have 1, and we are always comparing crazy comments we get. Because, believe me, we both get comments!

 

Some people are jerks, and somehow they happen to the ones with the biggest mouths :lol:!

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Congrads on your new one coming along. I love my dd to pieces and wish that we could have a whole slew of kids. However I am in my late 30's and it took us a long time to have dd. For many years of our marriage I always heard comments like when you going to finally have kids. That really hurts when you really want them and haven't been able to. Love you kids all 5 of them.:)

I wonder what the perfect number of children is.

 

Couples are not allowed to not have kids. Families with one child (by choice or by chance) are ridiculed for not having two. Families with two boys/two girls are told they need to try for that girl/boy. Families with three children are just nuts. Anything more than three and they must be Catholic (or Quiverful depending). Implying religious fanatics.

 

I suppose the perfect family has one boy (born first) and one girl.

 

I agree with Mouse too. We are living in a culture of death. It is just awful.

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Ppl get screwed up by both the # of kids I have, and the spread btwn them.

My eldest will be 20 this yr.

Diva, 14 next mth

Tazzie, 7

Princess, 6

Boo, 1 yr next mth.

 

The comments w/Boo were something else. My MIL was the worst offender (anyone surprised? :lol:)

 

She was mad when we announced Princess was on her way. "I told you, God told me you weren't to have any more children, you were to adopt!" To which my response was, "I guess He changed His mind and forgot to tell you."

 

W/Boo, she asked if he was planned. :001_huh::glare:

 

I said, "He was obviously in God's plans, what else matters?"

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Congrads on your new one coming along. I love my dd to pieces and wish that we could have a whole slew of kids. However I am in my late 30's and it took us a long time to have dd. For many years of our marriage I always heard comments like when you going to finally have kids. That really hurts when you really want them and haven't been able to. Love you kids all 5 of them.:)

 

I hope you didn't take this as a bomb on people who choose to have no kids or only kids or only two kids or whatever. I just think its horribly tacky to comment on people's family size no matter if it's large or small. :grouphug:

 

And, yes, I did say the Viagra thing... Not my most mature moment but it FELT GOOD! :D

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I suppose the perfect family has one boy (born first) and one girl.

 

I had that, and got awful comments about a 'millionare's family' and 'you already have the perfect family, why are you having another?" when I was expecting Tazzie.

 

And, also got comments about having 2 boys, 2 girls, why would I have another? I told ppl Boo was the tie breaker :glare:

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I hope you didn't take this as a bomb on people who choose to have no kids or only kids or only two kids or whatever. I just think its horribly tacky to comment on people's family size no matter if it's large or small. :grouphug:

 

And, yes, I did say the Viagra thing... Not my most mature moment but it FELT GOOD! :D

 

All is good, I knew it wasn't a comment on those that would love to have more kids but haven't be able to. I agree whole heartedly that children are a blessing.

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I wonder what the perfect number of children is.

 

Couples are not allowed to not have kids. Families with one child (by choice or by chance) are ridiculed for not having two. Families with two boys/two girls are told they need to try for that girl/boy. Families with three children are just nuts. Anything more than three and they must be Catholic (or Quiverful depending). Implying religious fanatics.

 

I suppose the perfect family has one boy (born first) and one girl.

 

I agree with Mouse too. We are living in a culture of death. It is just awful.

 

Um, the perfect number is 2 girls, 2 boys-- well at least that's what everyone said when that was what we had.

But then add another boy-- not one "perfect" comment.

Add another boy & girl... "boy you've got your hands full"-- that is all anyone says. ever. sigh.

:glare::glare::glare::tongue_smilie:

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This week a new acquaintance learned that I have 8 children, and she went off about how crazy I was. She was serious. I heard a woman at church respond to another mom's announcement by a serious, "you are crazy." When I heard that I couldn't help but say, "the appropriate response is congratulations." Our nation needs to read Miss Manners. Sigh.

 

AMEN! I cannot believe how few people realize that that is the right thing to say. Years ago a dear friend stopped by my office, obviously nervous and agitated. I asked what was going on, and she stammered out that she was pregnant. I instantly said "Congratulations!" and hugged her in joy. She was shocked, and started crying. She said not a single person she had told had said congratulations. See, she was not married. (but had been in a long term relationship, was currently acting as step mother to her beau's first son, had a great job, college education, and was almost 30 years old.)

 

I couldn't believe people would NOT congratulate her, and I told her she would be a fantastic mother, and she just cried tears of relief and joy. Poor girl just wanted someone to share her joy. Breaks my heart just thinking about it.

 

(they are now married, I attended the wedding a few months after their son was born. And she IS an excellent mother and dotes on that child. She has been trying to concieve again for years, and has not been able to. Thank heavens she had that child and didn't listen to all the voices of doubt in her life.)

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What is wrong with today's society?! Why can't a happy couple with a sturdy marriage have kids without everyone looking at us like we're fanatics or weirdos?! We LIKE kids.

 

I hardly even want to go out with my kids because I'm starting to show and now get weird stares and comments. One lady even said to me, "You know, they make birth control for that?" I looked at her only child and said, "You know, they make Viagra for that."

 

It's so sad that our society sees children as a nuisance and things that get in the way rather than the blessings they are! I understand some families may choose to have one or two kids, but don't belittle my choice to have more.

 

Okay, whew! /venting

 

I think it's just people in general. When my SIL had her second someone she knew asked if it was planned - 3 years after having her first. :001_huh: Who knows what that woman thinks now that SIL has 4.

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I wonder what the perfect number of children is.

 

Couples are not allowed to not have kids. Families with one child (by choice or by chance) are ridiculed for not having two. Families with two boys/two girls are told they need to try for that girl/boy. Families with three children are just nuts. Anything more than three and they must be Catholic (or Quiverful depending). Implying religious fanatics.

 

I suppose the perfect family has one boy (born first) and one girl.

 

I agree with Mouse too. We are living in a culture of death. It is just awful.

 

lol, yes that is the exact formula that is acceptable :) I feel like we get a free pass for this baby because I have two boys but I still get a lot of the "wow, your hands are full!" kind of comments. I can't win because of course I have to have that girl baby to meet my societal quota but then the fact that I had to have a third child to do it makes me cross into the irresponsible category in many people's eyes.

 

And the Viagra comment is awesome, wish I had the guts to use it!

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augh :iagree: People are so rude. Another one I hate, "Going for the girl, huh?" Really?! :glare:

 

Congrats to you and your family. It is wonderful that you are bringing a new life in to this world. Don't ever let anyone make you want to stay in. There is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with those that stare at you.

 

Danielle

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We had two girls. Many ASSumed we adopted #3 to guarantee a boy. We didn't specify on our homestudy.

 

Then when I found out I was expecting and have a boy, I got the "balanced" comments.

 

Then Isaiah came.

 

People kill me. But comments from Christians really make me cringe. :glare:

Edited by GAPeachie
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Why do people even think it's ok to comment on such matters, anyway? From the second I got married, it was "When are you going to have kids?" Then when I was pg with DS5, it was "Do you know what causes that?" Now of course we had 3, because we had to try for a girl. (I did really want a girl, but that's really no one else's business, and I would have loved another boy just as much.) And now, 1) my hands are full and 2) we must be done, because we have some of each. Sheesh.

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People just like to make small talk. I'll never understand the need to be so glib, though.

 

When we were dealing with infertility, there were a few "don't you know how it's done" comments. Then as the family grew, there were all the usual comments discussed in this thread regarding what some deem to be too many kids.

 

Now that we have six and the youngest is 3, once in a while someone pipes in with "are you done yet?" and "it must be time for another" except that they're half-serious. I guess we're fully into the "large family" category, which makes it ok to go even larger.

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One lady even said to me, "You know, they make birth control for that?" I looked at her only child and said, "You know, they make Viagra for that."

 

Well aren't you two classy peas in a pod? :001_rolleyes:

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On one hand, I want to laugh and say, "what? she's only on number five." On the other hand, I was getting harassed at four and five :grouphug:

 

(rethought liking your response...not very nice towards those that have chosen to have only one or could ONLY have one...sometimes, while we are being harassed for having so many, we don't think how we come off to others that don't have very many) Another would be to look surprised, gasp, and say, "they do?!?! Wow! When did they invent that?! Man, we thought it was the toothbrush, so we stopped sharing that..."

 

Or just tell them, "what? Are you crazy? We're only halfway...we're hoping for ten or an even dozen!"

Edited by mommaduck
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