Nart Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 My son is five and just read the first two Ricky Ricotta books. They are perfect for him in that they are chapter books with pictures on every page, but also have a variety of challenging words. He just read Ricky vs. the Mutant Mosquitos From Mercury and now wants to know all about the planets. I was planning on getting the rest of the series (there is one title for each planet) but I just noticed one of the books is called "Ricky Ricotta's Mighty Robot vs. the Stupid Stinkbugs from Saturn". DH and I don't say the word "stupid" in front of our kids and we don't let our kids say "stupid" because they are 3 and 5, and we feel it is a "bad word" for younger kids. I might feel differently when they are older but for now I don't want it used. I used to teach first grade and it was banned from my classroom. I was wondering how others feel about the word? Am I over reacting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdkidsmom Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Stupid is a banned word in our home as well. My kiddos are almost 10 & 6. As for books containing said word, I would probably allow my 10yo to read them but not my 6yo because he has a better understanding of why that word should not be used. Hopefully :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Of course. "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 If it was Ricky calling his mousy school friends stupid, I might hesitate, but it's the evil aliens who keep trying to take over the world. I'm not fussed. I think it's useful for kids to learn the difference too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trinchick Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Our current read aloud is the Pippi Longstocking series. Since it's older and a translation, there are a few things that I find a little awkward, including the words stupid and idiot. I decided not to edit them out during our reading and just deal with the issue if she starts to use the words herself. As an interesting sign of the times, though, I DID skip over the part of the story that talks about candy cigarettes. When I was a kid I loved puffing out the "smoke" on bubblegum cigarettes, but I can't even bring myself to say the words to DD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Don't you think it was just used for the alliteration? It would probably be a good time to discuss alliteration and why you don't want him to use that word. Of course, take what I say with a grain of salt, because the word stupid in general doesn't bother me. We all tend to refer to my 15lb chi-weenie mutt as stupee. This morning she actually ran into my vehicle's tire. I just shook my head and told her that was a new trick, but my boys certainly would have commented with words along the lines of stupid. For that matter, I don't even care if they call each other stupid, but I like it better when they use multiple word phrases and flowery comparisons, preferably Shakespearean, when they feel the need to comment on the ridiculous behavior of one of their siblings. :) So, yeah, of course, that wouldn't bother me. I might would comment on how the alliteration works, but allow ds to come up with a more accurate description of the bugs from Saturn. HTH- Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Yep. I don't ban any word, but there is a time and a place for some words. Reminds me of the time I heard my grandmother say shi*. I said Mémère you said a bad word! She had hurt her finger. She said it was appropriate under the circumstances. :D :lol: :iagree: Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 We don't use bad language at all in our house (even when hurt) or alternatives (like "fudge"), but I'm ok with "stupid" being used in appropriate context. If you call your brother stupid, I'm going to be upset. If you say you did a stupid thing yourself, I'm ok with that. I do stupid things all the time. :lol: I believe I once called Windows stupid around one of my kids, and they started repeating that a lot. Good boy! :D I do let my kids read books with the word "stupid" in them, though if the book had kids calling each other stupid, we'd probably discuss such behavior. Sometimes, people truly are being stupid when they behave a certain way, but I won't let my kids call someone stupid just because they aren't generally intelligent, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I would. But then again i even read aloud some books with bad words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Why would I ban a word? "Stupid" is a word that definitely has its place. Kids need to learn that they should not call each other "stupid" because that is an insult - but the word itself is neutral and sometimes the only appropriate adjective for certain things ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 It never occurred to me to ban a book because it had one unsavory word in it. Consider it a learning moment, seize it, learn from it, and go to the next one. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 They are just words. It's how one uses them that gives them power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. :iagree: When my kids were younger we started out with this rule, but over time realized it was more important to focus on attitudes and relationships rather than specific words. Regarding the book, I may or may not have let my kids read it depending on the context in which the word was used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Despite it being my favorite kids book when I was little, I wouldn't read my pre-school daughter "Noisy Nora" because her sister says "Why are you so dumb?" in it. So I think that I have pretty high standards for what language I allow. But IMO once they're old enough to read, the sort of playground bad-words which appear in books for young readers are fine. It's realistic for the characters to be saying them, and offer age-appropriate levels of conflict. Since conflict is what makes books interesting, especially for early readers (where beautiful flowery language is probably too much to handle), I don't think it's a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCoppock Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I think it would probably depend on just how young my child was and the context it was being used. Since my son is 13, we have far bigger things to worry about in books beyond name calling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SorrelZG Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) It depends on the context but generally speaking, it's not my word of choice and in story books I will at times edit it on the fly (such as when the context is name calling). The only reason it has any familiarity with my children is actually because of its use in the Bible translation our church uses. Oh, I forgot the question about letting them read books with the word for themselves. It depends on the bigger picture (and worth) of the book and whether it negatively influences DS. Edited October 9, 2012 by SCGS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Of course. "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. :iagree:Jane Austen made good use of the word in Pride & Prejudice. Makes me think of the time the dental hygienist told Dd that she shouldn't use the word 'hate' when talking about certain foods, b/c 'it's a very strong word'. Dd told her she has very strong feelings about that particular food. :lol: I did talk to Dd about not answering adults if they correct you, but, in reality, I shared Dd's opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Apart from truly obscene words, I didn't censor vocabulary. Children can learn from a very early age that there are different registers of language for different situations. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBanjoClown Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 We don't use bad language at all in our house (even when hurt) or alternatives (like "fudge"), but I'm ok with "stupid" being used in appropriate context. If you call your brother stupid, I'm going to be upset. If you say you did a stupid thing yourself, I'm ok with that. I do stupid things all the time. :lol: I believe I once called Windows stupid around one of my kids, and they started repeating that a lot. Good boy! :D I do let my kids read books with the word "stupid" in them, though if the book had kids calling each other stupid, we'd probably discuss such behavior. Sometimes, people truly are being stupid when they behave a certain way, but I won't let my kids call someone stupid just because they aren't generally intelligent, kwim? I agree with this. I said "stupid" this morning as in "This is stupid. We are wasting our time looking for a ruler we just used 10 minutes ago". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I generally don't allow my young kids (5, 3) to use words like "stupid" or "hate". My older kids (9, almost 7) can because they understand there is a place for those words, but they don't use them because they don't want the little kids to pick them up.:lol: Having said that, I don't know what I would do about that book. *I* would probably skip it, but I am well aware that that may be an overreaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyz Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 No we don't ban books because of negative words. We're currently reading Babe the Gallant Pig and stupid is used quite a bit. He knows it's not a nice word to call someone and at first when it came up in the book, he gasped and said, "Hey! That's not nice!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I veto A Bug's Life anytime anyone wants to watch it because of how nastily the grasshopper uses the word stupid, but I can't keep up with my 5 year old's reading. She knows that there are some words that are only "reading words." Stupid, ass (Wind in the Willows, of course), fat unless it's talking about an animal or inanimate object, etc. Those are words we have had specific discussions on. We've also had discussions on not saying hurtful things, so they also know that those types of words would not be allowed in general. Would I encourage a book with stupid in its title? Probably not, but we have enough other books that my daughter wants to read that she barely notices when I set things aside for later. I have no problem telling her that she is only five, and that some things will need to wait for a little while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I don't ban books, but I've found that many books geared towards younger children use insults as a way of masking a lack of plot. I'm not willing to spend money on buying those books, but if my kids want to check them out from the library, I don't protest (too much). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. :iagree: My kids are allowed to say stupid (and other things my mom disapproves of) but not allowed to call a person stupid (even if they are). That said, I'd discourage (not forbid) that kind of book as "junk food" (based on the title - I haven't read it) even though I don't object to any particular word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I assumed you are referring to a book using the word "stupid" in the context of having a bad attidude (e.g. "Girls can't come in our club house because they're stupid"). In that case, no, if I know about it I don't allow my kids to read books like that. Maybe if it was one time in the whole book, but if it was a general theme where the kid had a bad attitude, I don't allow it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all4ramseys@msn.com Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 For that matter, I don't even care if they call each other stupid, but I like it better when they use multiple word phrases and flowery comparisons, preferably Shakespearean, when they feel the need to comment on the ridiculous behavior of one of their siblings. :) Mandy Thought this mug would be perfect for your family! Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Well we just avoided most of those cheap beginning readers series. I am Not interested in my kids reading books which are not edifying no matter how slim the pickings seem to be. We did enjoy Nate the Great though there were one or two which we skipped. I also paper clipped off the sections where he talks badly about the girl with the black hair. As they get older the book choices improve dramatically. But you are creating tastes and appetites now. Create worthy ones. Another thing that worked for me was using CLE Readers, Pathway Readers, and thrift store public school readers as well as picture books. For first grade, they have lots of morally upstanding stories at a very affordable price. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 Wow, the hive has spoken and the consensus is that I might have been a little too rigid in not letting my son read "Ricky vs. the Stupid Stinkbugs from Saturn". I think I will go ahead and let him read it. That way I can also plan a solar system unit to go along with the books. He is excited about reading and asks to keep reading the Ricky books. I just started thinking it was a slippery slope to the "Junie B. Jones" books which I will stand firm in not having in my house. Thanks everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 We have potty mouths. :001_unsure::blushing: But we don't really say stupid out of context. Some things are stupid. DD told me smoking is stupid. Well I had to kind of agree with that. It is definitely not smart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Of course. "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Of course. "Stupid" is sometimes a useful word. IMHO, it is better not to ban a word, but rather to help children understand when it may and may not be used. :iagree: My kids were taught that stupid is a bad word by other people and get on my case all the time when I use it appropriately. It annoys me. I don't get the stupid hate. Some things are stupid. I would let my kids read a book that contains the word stupid any day. What I'm more concerned about is how the characters treat other people, their attitudes, and the story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbygirl Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I considered the word "stupid" a bad word until we all saw the movie The Stupids. Because of that movie it is now a goofy word for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It is not banned in my home, but I feel about it the same way you do. It is highly overused to convey frustration and anger rather than a lack of intelligence. I would read a story to my children with the word "stupid" only in 2 circumstances. (1) It was used with its authentic meaning but not in a malevolant way, and (2) It is used in a malevolant way, and the speaker is clearly being mean. In both cases, we would talk about how they might hear other children using it and how we use it in our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Wow, I guess I'm in the minority. I don't "ban" books but I very strongly avoid junk books, I have gotten rid of books because of name calling and unkind behavior towards siblings and others (Arthur books come to mind), and I absolutely censor words on the fly when reading aloud. I will usually substitute "silly" for "stupid" when reading a children's book. I am also extremely bothered by the word "fat" being used in so many beginning readers and books published long ago. I have this (possibly irrational) fear of my children calling someone fat because they read it in a book. Now, my kids are 6.5 and 4.5 so without older siblings, and I'm trying to prolong their innocence as long as possible. Yeah, I would avoid a book with stupid in the title. There are so many other wonderful books to choose from that, to me, it wouldn't even be worth the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitterpatter Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I try not too. If I see it while reading to DD, I will skip over it or change it to "silly." I was totally annoyed the other day when it was used in a Magic Tree House audiobook. Wasn't expecting it. The word is banned at our house as well, especially when used in a name-calling way. I slip up sometimes, though...I tend to say, "stupid dog" when she pukes, poops or pees on the rug, or "stupid wall" when I stub my toe. DD calls me on it. In general, name-calling is not allowed, so I cringe when characters in books do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 We don't use bad language at all in our house (even when hurt) or alternatives (like "fudge"), but I'm ok with "stupid" being used in appropriate context. If you call your brother stupid, I'm going to be upset. If you say you did a stupid thing yourself, I'm ok with that. I do stupid things all the time. :lol: I believe I once called Windows stupid around one of my kids, and they started repeating that a lot. Good boy! :D :iagree:I have never understood the big deal over the word stupid.:lol: As far as the book goes I try to avoid those kinds of books because they remind me of Public school.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Apart from truly obscene words, I didn't censor vocabulary. Children can learn from a very early age that there are different registers of language for different situations. Laura :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I let them, but they always pause when they get to it and give me a bad word alert :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 honestly, I like the word stupid for a lot of uses. It's way better than the alternatives. :tongue_smilie: I use the word stupid at times. It's truly the best choice for some situations :D We don't ban words. I do ask they find an alternative to hate when they want to use hate on a daily basis regarding a school subject. But honestly, there is a place for hate in some situations as well. I wouldn't stress over the word stupid. There are worse words in books to come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 If I banned books because of the word stupid I would have to ban the Bible. Prov. 12:1 says, "....he who hates correction is stupid." Some things are stupid. People do stupid things sometimes. It's a perfectly good word in certain situations. Every one of us at some point has done something stupid and has seen something stupid. There's a time and place for labeling it accordingly. Elijah taunted the prophets of Baal in the OT. Jesus called people vipers and hypocrites and asked Peter, "Are you still so dull?" in the NT. Everyone should be held to a standard of using all these terms appropriately, but I don't categorically ban them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Well she's talking about little kids' books. In my experience those cheap paperback series that tend to use words like this are twaddle, full of name-calling, goofy jokes, making fun of each other, complaining etc. My guess is the OP has enough sense to look at the context, and the word "stupid" in this context is not a helpful use if the word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EppieJ Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 When ds was your dc's age we banned "stupid" from his vocabulary too, because he waaaaaay overused it. Now that he's older, we've relaxed that a bit as he's learned more about what's appropriate use and what's not. "Words are powerful- choose them wisely" is our mantra. That said, you could either edit on the fly, the books in question, or you could use this as a teaching time and discuss with dc whether or not the word usage was appropriate and why. Don't get too deep, tho. They're pretty young. I would just say something like, "Stupid is a word that doesn't sound very nice so our family doesn't say it." Keep it simple. I don't think you're over reacting; you have to do what's right to establish the values held by your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Well she's talking about little kids' books. In my experience those cheap paperback series that tend to use words like this are twaddle, full of name-calling, goofy jokes, making fun of each other, complaining etc. My guess is the OP has enough sense to look at the context, and the word "stupid" in this context is not a helpful use if the word. :iagree: I stopped letting dd read the Hank the Cowdog series for this reason! In th OP's case, I would just pre-read to see how much "stupid" is used and if it overcome by the science knowledge gained and use it as a teaching opportunity. Or look for an alternative.. like Magic School Bus? My kids love those! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy M Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Well she's talking about little kids' books. In my experience those cheap paperback series that tend to use words like this are twaddle, full of name-calling, goofy jokes, making fun of each other, complaining etc. My guess is the OP has enough sense to look at the context, and the word "stupid" in this context is not a helpful use if the word. My mom substitute taught at a private school, and a 2nd grade boy tattled on another boy who had used the "s" word. My mom was a bit shocked, thinking he had used the 4-letter curse word. We had a good laugh later when it came out that he had actually said "stupid." Mom mentioned to me that it's not a kind word; but she privately found it humorous, since in the "old days" that wasn't considered a bad word or a curse word. I feel there is a politically-correct overreaction to it these days. However, I also agree with the post above and Kristin's, that we want our kids to read quality literature, not junk books; and usually books that can't come up with a better adjective than "stupid" are in the latter category IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Jo Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 For that matter, I don't even care if they call each other stupid, but I like it better when they use multiple word phrases and flowery comparisons, preferably Shakespearean, when they feel the need to comment on the ridiculous behavior of one of their siblings. :) I'm :lol: that's so funny! I'd prefer that myself to the usual whining I get. Anyway, I'm reading Pinocchio aloud to my 6yo and it has stupid as well as the term for donkey in the 2nd chapter. I just read it. Even though I told them if they say a** they better be referring to a donkey! Still chuckling over Shakespeare. I'm going to go get my Shakespeare insults book and find some for my current situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 yes. but we sometimes watch things that display behaviors we don't practice. we have many family members and friends that display behaviors we don't practice. so for us, reading "stupid" doesn't mean it's suddenly okay to call people that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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