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When no one puts anything back where it belongs....


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I have a total of 3 ppl in my family and that includes me! DD 12 nor DH puts anything away or back where they found it. I spend oodles of MY time walking around picking up after, throwing away, cleaning up after and I've had it! And yes....I constantly make them come and clean this up or put this away. Of course if I mention this to dh about his stuff, then a fight will ensue. Right now I can't find MY tools. He had me check in 3 places (not where it belongs) and it wasn't in any of those. Grrrrr. I just spent a half an hour wasting my time trying to find a simple screwdriver. If yardwork is done, then whatever shovel or rake, or pvc pipe is just still sitting there next to the job that was done.

 

Short of dumping everything I find of everyone else's stuff in a bucket for them to wade through if they're looking for something, how can I fix this? DD is the same way.

 

I get angry, because I find it really disrespectful and nothing that is mine is respected, and, if you're going to finish a job, it entails putting things away. Stuff will sit outside till #1: Mom puts it away, or #2 it is ruined. I have one small triangle to work with on my kitchen counter because the table is always full of everyone else's mail, books, and whatever other junk they came home with and I'm at my wits end.

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We seem to be singing the same song. I have 8 people in the family and everyone just dumps stuff here and there. It is frustrating to always have to spend my time picking up the same stuff over and over. I told them starting this week if they leave it around it will go in a garbage bag. If it is still in the garbage bag at the end of the week it will actually go IN the garbage. I am done. It may cost a lot of money in stuff being thrown out but perhaps they will learn?:glare:

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I don't call anyone to come pick up anything. I pick stuff up throughout the day and put it in a basket in the living room. One of the evening tasks is for everyone to check the basket for their things. Once we sit down for family time the basket becomes a chore basket - anything one wants must now be earned back with a task (I have a lot of clean kitchen cabinets!). No arguing, no excuses, no battles. On Saturday night the basket becomes trash - no chores, no arguing, no excuses, no battles.

 

That works with the dc. Dh, on the other hand...well, I can't exactly demand a chore from him. He has a drawer in the kitchen that is his and his alone; the understanding is that he doesn't leave anything in my drawer or on my counter (no one is to leave a single thing on my counter unless they want it tossed). Dh has his huge shed that I don't get things from because I don't want to disturb his "order". Other than that, I don't clean up after my dh, period.

 

lol, a dear friend got so tired of feeling like the maid she told her dh that if he viewed her as his maid then that meant he was the boss and she didn't believe in s*x between boss/employee. It took him a while to realize she was absolutely serious. :lol:

 

My dc pay me if they want me to be the maid (and my services don't come cheaply!). If I go to make dinner yet the kitchen/table are a mess, I quietly get my keys, a few little ones, and I go out to eat...on the dc's dime. That has only happened twice and they got the idea (I make sure to go somewhere really nice, too).

 

I spent years nagging, reminding and getting frustrated over this issue. Things are calm now (well, until my dc find something of theirs gone in the trash) yet I will.not.be.drawn.into.an.argument. Period. Everyone knows the rules, that's the end of it.

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The nightly laundry basket method works well around here. Each family member is given a laundry basket and a household "zone" to clean up. They walk through their zone and pick up everything out of place, then they walk through the entire house and empty the basket by putting everything back in its place. They do this while I cook dinner, then I check out that the zones are put away properly before they can join us at the table and eat.

 

And when something isn't where it belongs, I don't look for it. The person who used it last looks for it and they can't do anything else until they find it. This goes for me, too, if I'm the one to misplace something.

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I read somewhere about a mom who was really really really into a clean picked up house. When her child was young she would have one toy out playing with him/her in the family room. Then they would get up to go to the kitchen for a snack. When they would get to almost to the door to the family room she would turn around and exclaim. "oh we forgot to put away the toy" and they would rush back and put it away. They did this over and over day after day as well as other methods to teach her child to pick up after itself.

 

I'm sure it worked. I wish I could have done this, but like everyone else I find it is difficult to do on a consistent basis.

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:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I had a co-worker who was so frustrated with her family doing the same thing that she rented a storage locker some place and collected all the electronics in the house. Every compter, laptop, tv, dvd player, ipod, ect went in there and she was the only one who had the key and knew where the storage locker was. She informed her family that now they had plenty of time to pick up the stuff left being left all over and that until they could go a month without her having to pick up stuff everything was staying locked up. It took a bit but over time it worked.

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These are great stories! :lol: So I'm not out of line just shuffling everything in a basket and letting them find it on their own.

 

My heart goes out to all you who have larger families. I'm complaining and I have a small family. I guess that's why I'm complaining. It's because there shouldn't be this much junk laying around for the amount of people! And just to let you know, my house is not sterile, it is not clean, it is not a pig sty; I'm not a clean freak. I don't mind toys left out for a few days, or books. But it always encroaches upon my space and it doesn't have to. It's just as easy to put it away!

 

I don't have one place to call my own in my own house that somebody doesn't dump on. Maybe I'm feeling selfish. But it seems the rest does....all but me.

 

And I still haven't found that darn screwdriver, because someone didn't put it away!:toetap05:

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Some things of mine are absolutely not for anyone else int he family EVER for any reason. I buy cheap office supplies for the general use of the herd. I buy what I like and keep it in my desk- and woe be unto anyone who dares to use it. If some how every single roll of tape has disappeared and they need to use mine, they have to wait until I happen to be going that way, then they use it at my desk with me watching.

 

Sounds horrible to some, I'm sure, but trust me- it is not anywhere near as horrible as me needing to use my tape and finding it gone. :D

 

It always astounds me how people know exactly where to look to find something but magically forget where to put it back. :001_huh:

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Some things of mine are absolutely not for anyone else int he family EVER for any reason. I buy cheap office supplies for the general use of the herd. I buy what I like and keep it in my desk- and woe be unto anyone who dares to use it. If some how every single roll of tape has disappeared and they need to use mine, they have to wait until I happen to be going that way, then they use it at my desk with me watching.

 

Sounds horrible to some, I'm sure, but trust me- it is not anywhere near as horrible as me needing to use my tape and finding it gone. :D

 

It always astounds me how people know exactly where to look to find something but magically forget where to put it back. :001_huh:

 

YES! Grrrrr.....

Not only that, I don't take anything that's not mine and if I borrow it, I put it away, and wouldn't dream of dumping on my family's personal areas with my junk!

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Go ahead and laugh, but I *JUST* put a big, long string on my scissors and tied them to the wire shelf in the kitchen. :tongue_smilie:

 

No Laughing here. When DD18 headed off to college, she cleaned out her stuff. I now have FIVE beautiful pairs of hardly used scissors on the rack in the kitchen! I could have saved some money with the string idea in the first place!

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alilac, I could have written your original post too! I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired with the other two in this house! They are always butting heads and I am tired of having to be the adult for the adult who can't be. Now everyone of us is miserable today, Canadian Thanksgiving, because of his miserable, 'wet blanket' attitude. :( *sigh* Sorry to hijack. We're sticking around here on a beautiful fall day and can't even get out for a walk. All that, even after I have cleaned up and picked up and cooked for the two of them. Sheesh! :glare: Can't even sit on the couch once without having to ask either or the both of them to move their carp. Grrrrr!!! The day started out fine....... :(

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I've actually been thinking about charging the girls for stuff. I feel bad about it though, because DD11 has executive skills dysfunction/add. It is really hard for her to see some stuff that is out of place, or remember where she put something.

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No Laughing here. When DD18 headed off to college, she cleaned out her stuff. I now have FIVE beautiful pairs of hardly used scissors on the rack in the kitchen! I could have saved some money with the string idea in the first place!

 

If only I could do the same thing with the nail clippers and the tweezers. :glare:

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No Laughing here. When DD18 headed off to college, she cleaned out her stuff. I now have FIVE beautiful pairs of hardly used scissors on the rack in the kitchen! I could have saved some money with the string idea in the first place!

 

When oldest was still at home I could never find any writing utensils, everyday it was a chore. Then he moved out and I cleaned his room. I kid you not, at the end of the day I had over 70 pencils/pens :lol:

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These are great stories! :lol: So I'm not out of line just shuffling everything in a basket and letting them find it on their own.

 

My heart goes out to all you who have larger families. I'm complaining and I have a small family. I guess that's why I'm complaining. It's because there shouldn't be this much junk laying around for the amount of people! And just to let you know, my house is not sterile, it is not clean, it is not a pig sty; I'm not a clean freak. I don't mind toys left out for a few days, or books. But it always encroaches upon my space and it doesn't have to. It's just as easy to put it away!

 

I don't have one place to call my own in my own house that somebody doesn't dump on. Maybe I'm feeling selfish. But it seems the rest does....all but me.

 

And I still haven't found that darn screwdriver, because someone didn't put it away!:toetap05:

 

I have my own screwdriver and hammer hidden away where my husband can't find them, for just this reason. :tongue_smilie:

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Constant nagging (including self nagging, LOL). When you see someone leave something lying where it shouldn't be, you make him go back and pick it up, right now. Every.single.time it happens.

Take a Gobble Box around the house a coule of times a day. Items in the Gobble Box must be bought back at the end of the week, whether their owners want them or not, or they'll be tossed. You decide what each item costs.

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alilac, I could have written your original post too! I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired with the other two in this house! They are always butting heads and I am tired of having to be the adult for the adult who can't be. Now everyone of us is miserable today, Canadian Thanksgiving, because of his miserable, 'wet blanket' attitude. :( *sigh* Sorry to hijack. We're sticking around here on a beautiful fall day and can't even get out for a walk. All that, even after I have cleaned up and picked up and cooked for the two of them. Sheesh! :glare: Can't even sit on the couch once without having to ask either or the both of them to move their carp. Grrrrr!!! The day started out fine....... :(

 

Hijack away. I feel your pain! Don't get me started on outdoors! I've never been able to use my screened in patio, peace free. I can't look out my kitchen window peace free, because of stuff! Now to find me one of those all important dumping baskets! It's going to have to be large, folks!

 

 

I have my own screwdriver and hammer hidden away where my husband can't find them, for just this reason. :tongue_smilie:

 

I thought of this, but I don't think my mind could figure out what I did with it if it's not where the rest of the stuff is! :tongue_smilie:And....these ARE mine! Then I'd need two places for everything. Ack!

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Constant nagging (including self nagging, LOL). When you see someone leave something lying where it shouldn't be, you make him go back and pick it up, right now. Every.single.time it happens.

Take a Gobble Box around the house a coule of times a day. Items in the Gobble Box must be bought back at the end of the week, whether their owners want them or not, or they'll be tossed. You decide what each item costs.

 

Oh Ellie and now my box has a name! This is why I don't like Christmas. It becomes MORE!

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