What are your long-term, ongoing, topics of bickering with dh?

[Kathryn]

Laughing hysterically at this thread!

[Jennifer3141]

Laughing hysterically at this thread! Pretty much all the common ones listed already, but I think I have an original one.

 

He uses my expensive conditioner to make his test!cles soft. First, I tried to convince him that this was wasteful. Then he got mad, so I suggested that we get some cheaper conditioner just for him, and he got even more mad at my insinuation that his test!cles being soft wasn't as important as my hair being soft. I told him he was insane.

 

 

Ok. I think you win! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Ok. I think you win!

 

Oh, I know she wins!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

 

Great, Kathryn, thanks in advance for getting this thread deleted!!!

[Guest inoubliable]

Driving. Specifically, turning a corner. DH is a truck driver. I get it. Wide turns. That being said... it's a minivan. Not an 18 wheeler. You don't have to swing waaaay out there to turn. Drives me nuts. And he can't stand it that instead of pushing the cup holder thingy in towards the dash to reset the circumference of the drink holders, I just grab the arm that swings out and click it into place when I need to switch from a water bottle to a insulated coffee cup. He's convinced that I'll break it that way and freaks out.

[Kathryn]

Ok. I think you win! :lol::lol: :lol::lol:

 

Aw, I win, I win! I'm a winner! And on my birthday even!

Edited January 10, 2013 by Kathryn

[shanvan]

Hmmm....not really sure it's bickering, but we do seem to have the same 'conversations' about certain things.

 

1. Used batteries are not a generally accepted decorating accessory. (And neither are shoes). Oh, yes, rusted tomato cages strewn about the lawn are not generally considered ornaments in the landscaping design.

 

2. Cleaning supplies are not 'mystery items' that require you to guess at their use (or ask your wife if 409 is a good carpet cleaner). For years I have been tempted to cover every label on every cleaning product with a huge question mark since that appears to be what Dh sees when he looks at them!

 

3. Sudafed is a decongestant, not an 'allergy' medicine like Zyrtec, Allegra & Claratin. So when Dh asks me to pick up 'allergy medicine' he is still surprised when I don't come home with a box of sudafed. :confused: He argues that the reason he takes it is b/c of allergies, therefore it is an allergy medicine. Like the cleaners, Dh is so hopelessly confused about medicine. Doesn't have any idea about the differences b/t an expectorant, decongestant, antihistamine, pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, etc. When the kids were little I was truly worried he might give them the wrong medication or dosages when they were sick.

 

4. "putting away the groceries' does not = taking them out of the bags and covering the counters with them. I spend at least an hour clearing counters after Dh 'puts away the groceries'.

 

5. "The front room" is the room that looks out on the street and is the room with our front door in it. "The living room", is the one we spend the most time (you know, live in) in and is located at the back of the house. Dh does not get it. Just yesterday he headed for the living room after I told him something was out in the front room! Sometimes he does argue with me on this one. I don't think he has a leg to stand on b/c if the front door is in the room and you rarely spend time in it, it cannot be called the 'living room'. :lol:

 

6. My all time favorite: I am not an encyclopedia. In order to tell him how to do x,y, or z, I will have to stop what I am doing and read the instructions just like he has to.

 

[pdalley]

Aw, I win, I win! I'm a winner! And on my birthday even!

 

 

 

Wait, are we not allowed to talk about test!cles? :blushing:

 

The last time we argued about this, he said I should make a poll on here and I would see that other guys do it too. I assured him that there was no need, other guys do NOT do this. I can just imagine this topic having it's own thread...

 

I asked Dh - he played on several traveling baseball/softball teams when he was younger - if he knew of any other man who did this. He said the only one was his best friend from high school. He's still single though.

 

But there is at least one other one. :001_smile:

[Jennifer3141]

I asked Dh - he played on several traveling baseball/softball teams when he was younger - if he knew of any other man who did this. He said the only one was his best friend from high school. He's still single though.

 

But there is at least one other one. :001_smile:

 

 

What!??! You mean the other guy is SINGLE?? How could that be?? I mean, soft you-know-whats haven't drawn the perfect woman yet?? I'm shocked, shocked I say! :lol::lol:

Edited October 9, 2012 by Jennifer3141

[Caroline]

No offense, but that may be the funniest thing I have ever heard ... And you are my hero for convincing your husband to even partially go along with it. :D

 

In our house:

 

I leave things on the stairs so that I can put them away the next time I go up - drives DH batty.

 

He has ADD, which would make you think that I am irked by his distractability. Nope. The opposite end of it is the real kicker. Hyper-focus is my biggest pet-peeve.

 

I am totally not offended. It is funny. A friend of mine is using it for a character in a novel.

[Caroline]

Laughing hysterically at this thread! Pretty much all the common ones listed already, but I think I have an original one.

 

He uses my expensive conditioner to make his test!cles soft. First, I tried to convince him that this was wasteful. Then he got mad, so I suggested that we get some cheaper conditioner just for him, and he got even more mad at my insinuation that his test!cles being soft wasn't as important as my hair being soft. I told him he was insane.

 

You definitely win.

[Kathryn]

What!??! you mean the other guy is SINGLE?? How could that be?? I mean, soft you-know-whats haven't drawn the perfect woman yet?? I'm shocked, shocked I say! :lol::lol:

 

OMG, I am laughing so hard right now. I also cannot believe someone else does this. How does this even occur to someone to do?!?

[pdalley]

What!??! You mean the other guy is SINGLE?? How could that be?? I mean, soft you-know-whats haven't drawn the perfect woman yet?? I'm shocked, shocked I say! :lol::lol:

 

Oh, I know why the guy is still single. That's just one reason. Let's just say I wasn't surprised when DH told me that. :lol:

[Jennifer3141]

OMG, I am laughing so hard right now. I also cannot believe someone else does this. How does this even occur to someone to do?!?

 

I have ZERO idea. How would a man even know to do this??

 

For the record, my DH uses his shampoo all over his body but he's so darn hairy, he might as well. I've never thought about it but he must use it "there" too and I'll never look at a bottle of Pert Plus the same again.

[Bang!Zoom!]

I'm too loud during football. True.

I mumble. True.

I don't read the manuals. True.

 

But...

 

I can pack for two weeks suddenly for those unexpected jaunts.

I'm terrific at staying to a list in the grocery store.

I have accepted that soccer will never make sense nor hypnotize me.

 

Heh

[Kathryn]

I asked Dh - he played on several traveling baseball/softball teams when he was younger - if he knew of any other man who did this. He said the only one was his best friend from high school. He's still single though.

 

But there is at least one other one. :001_smile:

 

Okay, I'm going to have to make a poll now.

[In the Rain]

Laughing hysterically at this thread! Pretty much all the common ones listed already, but I think I have an original one.

 

He uses my expensive conditioner to make his test!cles soft. First, I tried to convince him that this was wasteful. Then he got mad, so I suggested that we get some cheaper conditioner just for him, and he got even more mad at my insinuation that his test!cles being soft wasn't as important as my hair being soft. I told him he was insane.

 

So, does he use it on his head too, or just down there? It is especially funny if he doesn't care about the hair on his head being soft.

[shanvan]

Oh, boy! I posted my nice 'clean' reply in the middle of a shower scene, though maybe, considering all the shampoo and conditioner, the other posts are 'clean' too. :lol:

 

Still I just can't help feeling outdone. Batteries strewn around the house just don't compare. :tongue_smilie:

[Miss Marple]

Honestly, I cannot think of anything. After 30 years of marriage I no longer expect certain behaviors. It's easier to have no expectations :p

 

But really, I know he won't unload the dishwasher and put things where they belong, he will forever forget to close the cupboard above the toilet (gotta be some sort of OCD thing is all I can figure), he will put my keys in his pocket and drive to work...yes, he does a thousand things that could irritate me - and did irritate me for years! But after being together this long, we've just sort of learned to put up with the irritating habits of the other party. After raising our kids and going through everything that happens with that (and ours were/are easy kids) and caring for elderly parents, it just seems that those irritating things are just little bumps in the road :) So we just move a little more slowly over those really bumpy areas :) and realize that the grace we give others will flow back to us. I'm getting old...and time moves too quickly to be irritated :)

[Kathryn]

So, does he use it on his head too, or just down there? It is especially funny if he doesn't care about the hair on his head being soft.

 

I just asked my dh, and he was not aware of men doing this. Oddly enough, he wasn't even surprised that I asked such a question. :lol:

 

He's kept his head shaved recently, which is what prompted the most recent argument about it as the conditioner was still disappearing at an alarming rate.

[Word Nerd]

He's kept his head shaved recently, which is what prompted the most recent argument about it as the conditioner was still disappearing at an alarming rate.

 

I wondered how the topic came up and how you knew he was using your conditioner. :lol:

[fraidycat]

We don't really bicker, but there are things that we have accepted as "agree to disagree" I guess you would call it.

 

He will literally ride on fumes. Makes me nervous as all get out.

 

This. If I have 1/4 tank, it's time to fill up. He will ride with the gas light on, drive past the gas station and stop at home because "he'll fill up in the morning". Drives me batty!

 

He doesn't listen fully to what I am saying EVER. That and I would like to lodge his phone where the sun doesn't shine:glare:

Smart phones were the worst invention ever.

 

:iagree: Emphatically. He is getting better about the phone, though because I have, in fact, threatened to lodge it where the sun don't shine. :tongue_smilie:

 

For the first 10 years the fact that he refused to cook or pick up behind himself ever.

 

We had this, too. Until.... I stopped cooking or picking up after anyone else. I'd put MY stuff away because I wanted to take care of it, but I didn't deal with other people's crap (DH and kids). I only washed laundry that was in the hamper, etc. The house was a complete and total disaster area, but he got the point, eventually.

 

Now, we each do whatever needs to be done. Without being told or reminded by the other and if it doesn't get done...it will eventually. WAY less stress on our marriage now that I don't feel like a maid.

 

Bringing the car home on "E" (no gas). He has perpetually done this 10,000 times and it always ruffles my day in the worst way when I hop into the car and find it gasless. I just want to throttle someone. :auto:

 

Yep

 

He:

I:

Never have my cell phone with me.

 

Never get the mail and it piles up for days.

 

Are you my twin? It used to drive DH insane that I'd always forget my cell phone at home. One day I told him he'd have something longstanding to say about me in my eulogy some day. He just laughs at me whenever I notice that I don't have my phone on me now.

 

I refuse to cook on a schedule. The localism here is to cook on a specific schedule: Roast beef on Sunday (cooked to thorough greyness :001_rolleyes:), leftovers on Monday, chicken on Tuesday, pork chops on Wednesday, spaghetti or other pasta on Thursday, fish on Friday (natch - Catholic town) and on Saturday you can go completely wild and crazy and do something like pizza or something exotic like a stir-fry. Dh says that if we invite people for supper, we have to cook according to the schedule because that is what they would expect. I maintain that if they know me well enough to be invited for supper, they will know to expect the unexpected. I simply will not cook like that.

 

Wow. I've never heard of schedule cooking as a regional thing. I've actually only ever heard of schedule cooking online - blogs and whatnot, mostly American :tongue_smilie: and only as a family thing so the cook of the house has an easier, more organized way to meal plan.

 

Note to others: this is not a Saskatchewan thing - just an "Audrey's town" thing. :tongue_smilie:

 

One other thing that I do to drive my DH nuts:

 

Rearrange furniture. A lot. Sometimes just within a room, but many times I completely re-designate rooms.

 

A small sampling for example: We've lived here since the beginning of February and the master bedroom, school room, and DD's bedroom have been in 2 different locations for a total of 3 room designs. They started in one place (1), then I moved DD to the old school room, school room to old master bedroom, and master bedroom to DD's old room (2). Now, after last week they are back to the original locations (3) with different furniture arrangements (and in some cases, different furniture) than the originals had. Ughhhh, wait.. I forgot.... DD actually did a stint in DS's bedroom while the 4th room was the playroom, but their dressers were also in there. So I guess that is actually FOUR different arrangements - in 8 months. :lol: Maybe I need help.

 

I've done this in pretty much every place we've ever lived. Every couple of months he'll come home to a "brand new house". Being a man, he's not so fond of it (because it's Change), but he's sweet puts up with it with only minor grumbles.

[Denisemomof4]

My DH is a creature of habit. He likes everything the same, always. While shopping at Target today, I noticed that they changed the bottle of his brand of shampoo to a PUMP and there I was laughing hysterically in a Target aisle.

 

I actually took a photo of it and texted it to him to prepare him for the shock and he called me seconds later wanting to know if there wasn't another size or some other alternative.

 

I am a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of person and it drives him nuts on his worst days. On my worst days with him, he bores me to tears with his need for everything to be the same or goddess awful tales of antibiotic resistant infections. Because pus is something EVERYONE wants to chat about over dinner. :ack2:

 

 

Ok, everything about this post has me :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

And I can't believe you actually texted him a pic of the shampoo to prepare him. So sweet but:lol:

[deacongirl]

That's the thing - we have THREE bathrooms. THREE. And he chooses the main one to do this in. :glare: I understand not using the upstairs bathroom because that's where we're all sleeping. But we have another bathroom that's on the other side of the house downstairs where I'm quite sure the flush wouldn't wake the kids. And it's a toilet flushing for crying out loud! Not a fire alarm going off! :glare:

 

What about the approach from the book How to talk so kids will listen etc.--sticky notes that say FLUSH! at his eye level on the backs of the doors!

[Heather in Neverland]

 

I refuse to cook on a schedule. The localism here is to cook on a specific schedule: Roast beef on Sunday (cooked to thorough greyness :001_rolleyes:), leftovers on Monday, chicken on Tuesday, pork chops on Wednesday, spaghetti or other pasta on Thursday, fish on Friday (natch - Catholic town) and on Saturday you can go completely wild and crazy and do something like pizza or something exotic like a stir-fry. Dh says that if we invite people for supper, we have to cook according to the schedule because that is what they would expect. I maintain that if they know me well enough to be invited for supper, they will know to expect the unexpected. I simply will not cook like that. I sometimes even purposefully go grocery shopping in town and make a point of asking for a steak (which I do not need because we have our own beef) on a Tuesday, just because I know they won't have cut any and they will say, "why do you want a steak today? It's chicken." And, then I can feign disbelief and ignorance of the "law of the cooking schedule" just to mess with them a little. My dh says this is petty. I say it is fabulously rebellious. He says that is the same thing. I say pffffft. :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I would do the same thing! Can't you just picture it? You walk into the grocery store on pork chop day and ask for... Gasp... Fish! :tongue_smilie: what a hoot.

 

Next week, follow the schedule but just one day off then try to convince everyone they are crazy and they have the day incorrect. Watch everyone check the date on their cell phones.

 

You could have loads of fun with this!

 

 

.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Wait, are we not allowed to talk about test!cles? :blushing:

 

:lol: No, I think test!cles are fine. I sort of feel like this conversation might be teetering on the edge of DH-bashing (in the mods' eyes), and I thought maybe test!cles might put it over the edge. Obviously not! :lol:

 

(Also, for some reason, when I read "test!cles" my brain hears "TEST!CLES! :party:", and it is making me laugh even harder.)

[shanvan]

:lol: No, I think test!cles are fine. I sort of feel like this conversation might be teetering on the edge of DH-bashing (in the mods' eyes), and I thought maybe test!cles might put it over the edge. Obviously not! :lol:

 

I wondered about this too. I came at the conversation with the idea that we all understand our Dhs have similar pet peeves about us. Anything I listed was just stuff I routinely rib Dh about. He ribs back. They're just silly annoyances. I've got another list of things he does that make life easier for me too, I just didn't post that one.

[dbmamaz]

2. Cleaning supplies are not 'mystery items' that require you to guess at their use (or ask your wife if 409 is a good carpet cleaner).

5. "The front room" is the room that looks out on the street and is the room with our front door in it. "The living room", is the one we spend the most time (you know, live in) in and is located at the back of the house.

6. My all time favorite: I am not an encyclopedia. In order to tell him how to do x,y, or z, I will have to stop what I am doing and read the instructions just like he has to.

I think you are married to my teen son?

 

I kinda want to appoligise for my rant of 2 days ago . . . I WAS pms'ing lol

[Citrusheights5]

Ours is gender.. Doesn't sound like much but WOW! Do we have some issue when it comes to gender....

 

Background:

 

DH... Went to all male military boarding school... Then joined the Army.. And basically has been part of an über male environment his whole life.

 

Me: Only child, my mother was a nanny who only watched girls. When her employer had a son she quit. (Did this twice).. I've been in an uber female environment my whole life..

 

Our home... DD 15 who. DH doesn't understand AT ALL. Followed by 5 stinky loud dirty things I call sons.

 

DH: it's a boy thing. No big deal Hun.

Me: she's a girl Hun, let it go..

Repeat several times a day....

[Jennifer3141]

Ok, everything about this post has me :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

And I can't believe you actually texted him a pic of the shampoo to prepare him. So sweet but:lol:

 

 

He has mild OCD, Denise. It's not so severe that he has to wash his hands 20 times an hour or something but he has definite neat tendencies. He is the only person I have ever seen eat a rack of ribs and not need a napkin. It's insane.

 

It used to really annoy me. But I've learned over the past 15 years to roll with it. If I indulge it a little, I can get breaks on other things. And he accepts my teasings about it because he knows I am not being mean. I just think it's so weird to care about the bottle of Pert Plus but not care about the CHEMICALS in Pert Plus. I knew that pump would just throw him into a tizzy. And it did. He actually is keeping his old bottle and pouring the new bottle into it so he can avoid the different shape and pump.

 

What fascinates me in my family is watching DS develop little OCD traits too. He too cannot stand to have dirty hands but he LOVES helping with our farm chores. It makes me laugh that once he done, he will run his mama down to get to the bathroom and woe onto me if there's no soap or hand towel!