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What are your long-term, ongoing, topics of bickering with dh?


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I've been married almost 16 years and for all those years my dh has NEVER put the stupid dish towel back where it goes when he uses it. He just balls it up and tosses it on the counter. :glare:

 

And in all that time I have consistently overstuffed the garbage can and it drives him nuts. :tongue_smilie:

 

I realized it tonight as I was putting the dish towel away AGAIN. :lol:

 

Out of all the ways in which we have changed and compromised over the years, these two things have remained the same.

 

So how about you? What little things have you and your dh been bickering about for your entire marriage?

 

 

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Come to think of it, I am annoyed EVERY time I see that WAY TOO WET dish towel wadded on the counter top right above the place where it hangs.

 

Just as he is probably annoyed every single time he sees all that trash piled above the line of the can.

 

We haven't mentioned either, but I'm sure they irritate both of us.

:D. 23 years and counting.

 

We do bicker. I am drawing a blank at the moment......

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Dirty Dishes: sink or counter - long-standing issue (supposing the dishwasher is full)

 

Jeans: I don't fold them right. I was reminded of that this week, we've been married 20 years this month. I reminded him he was lucky they were washed. :D In my defense, I fold them the way he told me to about ten years ago, he doesn't like wrinkles in his jeans. He can't remember he told me to do that. He had a head injury in 2009 and can't remember details of things. His memory wasn't very good before the injury, thank goodness for smart phones, it's like his brain.

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Whether or not it is offensive to take a spoonful of cookie dough from the mixing bowl as soon as the dough is ready, rather than waiting for remnants stuck in the bottom of the bowl. :tongue_smilie: We won't even discuss what happens if someone takes a cookie dough ball off the cookie sheet. :001_huh: And then there is the perfect temperature at which cookies should be eaten after baking. :glare: We have issues. ;)

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:lol:

 

Yeah, we can laugh about it now. One of us was seriously uptight about it for a few years.

 

I've been thinking I need to make cookies with egg substitutes so the kids can join the fun of the cookie dough wars. Now that we are baking GF though, giving up eggs just seems like too much to ask flavor and texture-wise. :tongue_smilie:

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I apparently don't hang his shirts the right way on a hanger. :D

 

He should be happy I managed to hang them on the hanger. Laundry is not one of my favorite things in the world.

 

If I ask him a question like, 'Are you going to feed the dogs now or later?' He will more often than not answer, yes. :glare:

 

It's nothing earth shattering but those are the two main consistent irritants after 16 years.

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Not a single thing. I guess we aren't the bickering types.

 

Funny, we don't either.

 

I mean every so often I have a minor freak out incident but I guess he figures his slobbiness deserves it now and then and usually he just says sorry....though he probably doesn't even know why.

 

But hey it works :lol:

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I don't like to pump gas. My dad always pumped the gas growing up. My mom's car is always full of gas when she needs it to be. When I lived at home, my dad did the same for me. My grandfathers always pumped gas for my grandmothers. So I always think my car should have gas. It doesn't. I know that sounds pretty princess-y. Really, I am not princess-y most of the time. I mean, I teach in a neighborhood that most people won't go anywhere near. (We onky have 3 home football games.) I kill bugs. I am not afraid of mice. Oh well, pumping gas is where I really want to draw the line.

 

I think that as soon as you take the trash out, you should put a new trash bag in the can. He thinks you should put it in when you next need it.

 

We don't really argue about it, but it is an ongoing struggle.

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Dh and I hang our clothes facing opposite ways on hangers. It looks sloppy in the coat closet, but neither of us will change. When I am hanging up his laundry, I try to remember to hang his clothes "his" way. :)

 

I really do try but I honestly get it backwards. I do the same when I try to sew - I'll follow the pattern and then sew things together the wrong way.

 

I never had a problem with reading but I do wonder if that's a sign of dyslexia or something. My oldest has it.

 

Oh yeah, the gas thing. I get nervous if I'm at 1/4 tank because of an overnight breakdown when I was small. He will literally ride on fumes. Makes me nervous as all get out.

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He always fills the right side of the sink with dishes. This is the side I like to keep clear because the disposal is on that side. Plus I like to have at leas one empty side of the sink when doing dishes. I know he hates the fact that I prefer to use a dish towel instead of a wand with a sponge on the end. He doesn't like wet towels draping the faucet. We stopped bickering about five years ago. It just happened slowly over time, nothing we decided. I just bite my tongue and I know he does the same. If there is something that's really bothering either of us, we let the other person know in the nicest, least threatening way possible.

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Dh and I hang our clothes facing opposite ways on hangers. It looks sloppy in the coat closet, but neither of us will change. When I am hanging up his laundry, I try to remember to hang his clothes "his" way. :)

 

If only out coat closet looked sloppy because we hang things in different directions! Ours is sloppy for so many more reasons.

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He doesn't replace the trash bag after taking out the trash. Our garbage can has a flip top lid with the foot pedal to open, so you can't easily tell there's no bag until you have your hands full of something to throw away.

 

Not our whole marriage, but for the past several months the biggest has been leaving the kitchen cabinet door open. Drives me batty. That dang door is open almost every time I enter the kitchen when he's home. He did it sometimes in our old house, but here he seems truly incapable of shutting it.

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For the first 10 years the fact that he refused to cook or pick up behind himself ever.

 

Lots has changed over the last 4 years. It was difficult and we almost didn't make it to the other side. He will clean up behind himself and help do heavier cleanings. He will cook something about once every six months now. :glare:

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I don't fold the clothes (including underwear) correctly because I refuse to use his little folding board. And I will wash the dishes but not dry them (I leave them in the sink to dry) which he cannot stand.

 

He uses the dishtowels as napkins and tosses them on the floor between his chair and the wall until there are none left.

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We've been married almost 17 years, and he continues to leave crumbs and wadded up dishtowel on the counter plus a sink full of ick. Everyone knows you wipe the crumbs into the sink with the towel, rinse out the sink, dry the sink with the towel until it shines, then toss the towel in the laundry and hang up a new towel on its hook. Right?!

 

I suppose I should be thankful he's at least getting his own food. His dad makes his mom get up and do it for him.

 

As for me, I am 100% guilty of overstuffing the trash can - and not emptying the coffee grounds. :001_smile:

 

BUT, he is seemingly incapable of replacing a toilet paper roll once the other is empty. That's worse than either of my offenses, yes?

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"You hang up first"

"No, you hang up"

"No, you"

and so on.... :)

 

Seriously - the thermostat - he wants it sauna hot, I do not - and trash - he'll just leave empty boxes and bottles sitting around wherever rather than throw them away.

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They're not things we bicker over, but they're things I've decided to ignore. Still, sometimes, they make me crazy. He'll walk past the dishwasher to put dishes in the sink and claim he didn't know whether it was full of dirty dishes or clean ones. Well, there's an easy solution to that. Open it up and look! If there are six items in there? Dirty! It only really affects me when I've spent time cleaning up the kitchen, walk away, and come back to find two things in the newly emptied sink. That's when I want to :banghead:

 

The other is the inside-out undershirts and socks in the laundry. Dude, you're 38 years old. Your children can put their clothes in the hamper right side out. Why can't you?! I just stopped turning them when I fold laundry. He really doesn't care at all, so I decided to let it go too (mostly! :lol:).

 

I know there are plenty of things I do that make him nuts, so I can't really complain too much :D

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He leaves his big gigantic work boots in the middle of the floor. I am always tripping over those stupid things. And he squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle!

 

I fold his socks wrong. I hate folding laundry, so I just let clean laundry pile up on the couch until we have no place to sit.

 

I forgive him of those things because he cooks more than I do.

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I think dh is too impulsive and he thinks I need to plan too much. We actually pair up nicely that way because he keeps me from overplanning and I keep him from getting into major trouble by leaping without looking first.

 

He gets annoyed that I won't run the dishwasher or washing machine until it's full, but not enough to actually bother doing it himself. He also gets annoyed that unless the trash stinks, I won't empty it until it's full, again it doesn't bother him enough to do it himself.

 

He gets annoyed that his clothes stay on the bedroom floor where he drops them until I do a load of laundry. He's lucky I pick them up off the floor to wash them. The hamper is in the bathroom right next to the shower. He could easily carry his laundry in there on the way to take a shower in the morning, but he won't. He is also annoyed that I put his laundry on top of the dresser instead of putting it away, but he's lucky that I take his laundry as far as the dresser. Everybody else has to retrieve their own laundry.

 

I appear to be the only person in the household who is capable of putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder and after 9 years in this house, everybody still has problems figuring out that the new rolls of paper towels are on the shelf in the laundry room. They have ALWAYS been on that shelf, but nobody can remember. I have to tell every single one of them each time. And then they can't put the paper towels on the holder either.

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He always fills the right side of the sink with dishes. This is the side I like to keep clear because the disposal is on that side. Plus I like to have at leas one empty side of the sink when doing dishes. I know he hates the fact that I prefer to use a dish towel instead of a wand with a sponge on the end. He doesn't like wet towels draping the faucet. We stopped bickering about five years ago. It just happened slowly over time, nothing we decided. I just bite my tongue and I know he does the same. If there is something that's really bothering either of us, we let the other person know in the nicest, least threatening way possible.

 

This also drive me batty and we don't have a disposal. I have to wash my hand somewhere and it bugs be to have dishes under my hands when I'm washing them. Mostly we just don't wash most of the dishes in the sink, so I don't know why they need to be on either side. No one (not just him) seems to EVER want to bother checking to see if the dishwasher is empty before stacking dishes on the counter (Actually, I did see my youngest do this once or twice, so maybe there's hope?). Why is that? It's right there just a few inches further down.

 

He's down to just a knife now and I just take a deep breath. :tongue_smilie:

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I make it a point never to do work that physics does for me :lol:

 

And he uses a folding board for his underwear?! That's a guy who's serious about his laundry!

 

Yes. A folding board. He has a specific method for folding each and every item including underwear. :glare:

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The Frenquency of teA.

 

Same here. I'm one of those freakish people who doesn't really like teA all that much. Never have, with the exception of a short period immediately after DS was born.

 

There's also the issues of DH constantly leaving cabinets and the refrigerator door open. On the other hand, I always overfill the trash can and need to be asked specifically if he wants something. What he thinks is obvious, I consider mind reading.

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I think dh is too impulsive and he thinks I need to plan too much. We actually pair up nicely that way because he keeps me from overplanning and I keep him from getting into major trouble by leaping without looking first.

 

He gets annoyed that I won't run the dishwasher or washing machine until it's full, but not enough to actually bother doing it himself. He also gets annoyed that unless the trash stinks, I won't empty it until it's full, again it doesn't bother him enough to do it himself.

 

He gets annoyed that his clothes stay on the bedroom floor where he drops them until I do a load of laundry. He's lucky I pick them up off the floor to wash them. The hamper is in the bathroom right next to the shower. He could easily carry his laundry in there on the way to take a shower in the morning, but he won't. He is also annoyed that I put his laundry on top of the dresser instead of putting it away, but he's lucky that I take his laundry as far as the dresser. Everybody else has to retrieve their own laundry.

 

I appear to be the only person in the household who is capable of putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder and after 9 years in this house, everybody still has problems figuring out that the new rolls of paper towels are on the shelf in the laundry room. They have ALWAYS been on that shelf, but nobody can remember. I have to tell every single one of them each time. And then they can't put the paper towels on the holder either.

 

:iagree::iagree: The think two statements I bolded sound just like us. We must be living parallel lives! :D

 

My dh does manage to get his work clothes in the hamper, but everything else is draped over the dresser or on the floor. Having a laundry thief dog has not cured him, so I give up.

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We have a small kitchen, so our garbage can is in a cabinet under the counter. Dh never throws garbage in the can. He just sets whatever on top of the counter above the garbage counter. Even if I leave the garbage can out, uncovered, in the middle of the kitchen, he still just sets the garbage on the counter. So aggravating!

 

The neverending fight I don't give up on is the fan on pointing at the bed. No, no, no, I say! We actually have to take turns in the summer. (Off one night, on the next)

 

Laundry would be an issue if we did each other's. Luckily for both of us, we have never shared that chore. He deals exclusively with his clothes and I deal exclusively with mine and the kids'.

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All of the above. :glare: Honestly, though, we don't bicker about anything. I just don't think it's worth it because he never changes anyway.

 

I'll give you an original one, though. He's up and out the door everyday before the kids and I get up. Every morning I come downstairs and head to the bathroom. I lift the lid on the toilet and it's full of #2. And after that's been sitting there for awhile it's not pretty. :glare: He claims if he flushes the kids will wake up. I told him I'd rather get up early than to see that first thing in the morning. He still does it. :glare:

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All of the above. :glare: Honestly, though, we don't bicker about anything. I just don't think it's worth it because he never changes anyway.

 

I'll give you an original one, though. He's up and out the door everyday before the kids and I get up. Every morning I come downstairs and head to the bathroom. I lift the lid on the toilet and it's full of #2. And after that's been sitting there for awhile it's not pretty. :glare: He claims if he flushes the kids will wake up. I told him I'd rather get up early than to see that first thing in the morning. He still does it. :glare:

 

That would be a fight here. I've let lots of other things slide, as has he. But that would start my day in a very bad way, every single day :(

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Well we used to bicker over the yard and how often it got mowed. I finally threw a hissy about 7 years ago and decided if he wasn't going to mow it more than once a month, I'd do it, dang it. Well, I'm a clean freak. So, I broke the lawn mower, um, cleaning it. And then I realized I was being a lunatic and apologized. My concession is that I don't go out in the back yard. Therefore, I don't see how long the grass is getting and I don't complain. It helps the boys are bigger and no longer get lost in the waist high (on me) grass.

We live in the desert. We have had desert landscaping in front for 10 years and put in a huge patio out back a year ago. I wanted all the grass gone but relented at those big brown eyes my 9yo has.

Ds12 will be mowing the lawn from now on. I can control him! LOL

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let's see little ways we annoy each other-

I don't put lids on very well!

He doesn't put things where they go- I like dishes in the sink if not going in the dishwasher and on the left side.

 

I don't complain though I just wish he did it the right way :) He is generally pretty considerate and picks up after himself well.

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All of the above. :glare: Honestly, though, we don't bicker about anything. I just don't think it's worth it because he never changes anyway.

 

I'll give you an original one, though. He's up and out the door everyday before the kids and I get up. Every morning I come downstairs and head to the bathroom. I lift the lid on the toilet and it's full of #2. And after that's been sitting there for awhile it's not pretty. :glare: He claims if he flushes the kids will wake up. I told him I'd rather get up early than to see that first thing in the morning. He still does it. :glare:

 

:001_huh:

 

Somehow this makes the tiny annoyances in my marriage easier to ignore now.

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We don't bicker either. We do express annoyance, usually in a teasing way. But we don't bicker.

 

He gets annoyed when I leave things on the counter top, like the peanut butter. (he just said that's a BIG one, lol)

 

He HATES how I don't close the lid to anything- toothpaste, dish washing detergent, soap refills, etc.

 

He would rather me flat out ask for help than to try to do it all myself and get stressed.

 

He doesn't like how I get ready too soon to the time we're supposed to leave.

 

He leaves his clothes and boots, underwear, everywhere. Just laying around wherever he happened to take it off. I'm guessing this is pretty common.

 

He is not very concerned about hygiene and that annoys me and often grosses me out. But I'd rather have him be the way he is than a totally vain guy like my dad or some former boyfriends. :tongue_smilie:

 

He often finishes the last of things without thinking how it will impact the rest of us (leaving a miniscule amount of milk for the kids in the morning, etc) but he HAS gotten better about this.

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He:

Hangs his clothes on the bedpost.

Won't finish the last of anything--milk, cereal, etc. He leaves a teeny, tiny bit in the bottom of the container and puts it away! Then he opens a new one. Drives me insane!

Leaves his shoes and socks (socks balled up) wherever he is when he takes them off.

 

I:

Never have my cell phone with me.

Always forget to hang up his shirts before they get wrinkled in the dryer or clothes basket.

Never get the mail and it piles up for days.

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my dh speeds when driving. Like he would go downhill really fast and then come to a screeching stop at the intersection. He says that as long as his foot is not on the accelerator, it's not too fast. Or he gets off the highway at 60 mph, keep his foot off the accelerator and then stop suddenly when he comes to the intersection. He used to ride motorcycles so I guess he misses the rush of dangerous riding.

Oh, and he also leaves the mop or vacuum cleaner when he's done cleaning the floors and the hampers out after sorting the laundry.

 

I annoy him by throwing out odd pieces of paper that turn out to have addresses or other important info. on them.

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Goodness gracious, I think I've compiled a book after reading all these posts.:lol::lol::lol:

 

He:

-Leaves whisker trimmings in the sink and it grosses me out big time. To the point of gagging.

-Dirty dishes on the counter instead of in the dishwasher

-Doesn't replace toilet paper

-Inside out clothes. But I'm going to take the advice of a previous poster and just fold them inside out from now on.

-Does not reseal tupperware containers. Just sets the lid back on and walks away. I'm not sure he even knows how.

-Throws his clothes over the bed post, on the floor at the foot of his side of the bed, so I am constantly tripping over them in the middle of the night on my way to the bathroom.

-Puts cracker boxes back in the pantry with 2 crackers left.

-Never has his cell phone with him. We lack a land line, so if I am out and about and need him, I'm SOL.

 

 

Me:

-I dust once in a blue moon. It doesn't bother me at all. Drives DH crazy.

-Overfill the trash can.

-Pile things on his side of the dresser.

-Sign the kids up to play soccer every spring and fall despite DH not wanting them to.

 

 

The Frenquency of teA. We discussed this before marriage. He said twice a week and I said twice a week. Turns out he meant at least twice a week and I meant no more than twice a week. :001_smile:

 

:lol::lol::lol: So true.

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I appear to be the only person in the household who is capable of putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder and after 9 years in this house, everybody still has problems figuring out that the new rolls of paper towels are on the shelf in the laundry room. They have ALWAYS been on that shelf, but nobody can remember. I have to tell every single one of them each time. And then they can't put the paper towels on the holder either.

:lol::lol::lol:

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