RobinL in Canada Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 My third son was homeschooled, like his siblings, though grade 11 and then, like his older brothers, went to a private Christian school for grade 12, where he did extremely well. However, also like his older brothers, he did not know what he wanted to study yet in university, so is currently taking a "gap" year while working. Here in Ontario, he would need to get his university applications i by February 2013 at the latest if he hopes to attend university in fall 2013, but he's still at a loss re what he wants to do. I'm seeing increasing moodiness over this (and perhaps other issues), and it is very difficult to talk with him about all this as he just shuts down when the subject is broached. His older brothers have suggested that he speak with the guidance instructor at his old high school, but he won't actually go ahead and do this. I'm suspecting that fear of the future is causing some paralysis here. Any ideas how to deal with a young man in this situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I'm sorry. This is difficult for many young people. Can you make an appointment and take him to the counselor? Or guide him to a plan. This is a world that accepts changing plans. My dm kept telling me to pick something and I could change later. Can he start in University and take something general? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Maybe it would help clarify things if he looked at some *other* routes besides going to a university. Has he ever looked at some totally different things like a votech school? Maybe he's a doer and would be happier doing something with his hands. Then if he wants to go back to a university and get a degree in say business to complement his votech skills, he'd know why he's doing it. I even have an uncle who did tool and die (via apprenticing) in a factory for years and got paid as an adult to go back to college for a degree in engineering. Wouldn't have suited him to go into engineering when he was a young adult, but later he could back knowing why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 His older brothers have suggested that he speak with the guidance instructor at his old high school, but he won't actually go ahead and do this. I'm suspecting that fear of the future is causing some paralysis here. Any ideas how to deal with a young man in this situation? Would one of his brothers be willing to go to the counselor with him? If you think that one (or both) of them would be helpful in getting him over this hump, maybe you need to lean on them and try to get them to try and help him -- maybe go out to eat with him or to a sporting event, etc. where they could try to give him some gentle guidance? FWIW, I have an IRL friend who is going through a similar period with her son. He graduated hs last year and is taking this year off, yet he doesn't seem any closer to figuring out what he wants to do. I know it's a tough situation. I'll say a prayer for both of you. Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Put in the applications. He doesn't have to declare a major yet, does he? In the U.S., most colleges/universities have lower division courses which all students must complete, regardless of their majors. Do Canadian universities do the same thing? If so, he could start taking those courses now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinL in Canada Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 Thanks for the thoughts. He's definitely not the vocational type, nor a math/ science type--all my sons are very artsy-oriented. I'll wait till after Canadian Thanksgiving (this coming Monday) and then suggest the counselor route, possibly asking his oldest brother to help with that. Funny how they can't wait to finish high school, but then don't know what to do with themselves ; ( So many people, though, complete a BA and then still can't find work in their fields, so anxiety attends all those university decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 BTW, have you seen "Do What You Are"? http://www.amazon.com/Do-What-You-Are-Personality/dp/0316167266/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349307211&sr=8-1&keywords=do+what+you+are It's interesting, because it looks at the Meyers-Briggs personality profiles and gives suggestions on careers to fit the and *why* those types of careers might be a good fit. They even give suggestions for people for whom career and interests don't seem to really match up. Very interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinL in Canada Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 Thank you--will check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 This might be the point at which you and your son have to decide how you view the purpose of college. If you think college is for career training, then obviously it is better to know what you are going to do before going. If you think college is for further education, regardless of career choice, then he should pick a nice liberal arts college or university, whichever appeals to him, go, and pick a major after he has tried various classes in various departments (provided the Canadian system works this way?). This is the way college was almost always viewed when I was growing up. Very few of my classmates knew what they wanted to do after college and yet they all picked colleges and went. During college, some of them picked fields like geology or biology or anthropology or journalism or French and found jobs in those fields (or went to school some more or got a teacher's certificate) when they graduated. Some majored in whatever was appealing and then found a job that required a college education at a bank or in a personel department or whatever. Only a few went to college to be trained in a specific career like engineering or nursing. Now that college is even more fearsomely expensive (not that it was cheap when we went by any means...), more people are using it for specific career purposes, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't work as general education or that many people don't change their minds sometime before they have to declare their major. : ) Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 He can get a medical tech certificate (PA, Radiology tech, etc) in 1-2 years and start making some decent money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinL in Canada Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Thanks for the thoughts, Nan. I agree with his heading to university and doing a general liberal arts year first--in fact, my next son up did that and now in second year is majoring in psychology with an eye to research. It may just be a matter of getting this son actually to take the initiative to make the applications. He's the type who is hesitant to try new or unfamiliar things--perhaps a bit too much like his mother : ( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinL in Canada Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 He can get a medical tech certificate (PA, Radiology tech, etc) in 1-2 years and start making some decent money. Thanks, but as I mentioned, he is definitely not the math/ science type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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