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What are you doing to prepare your HS child for the "Real World"


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If my child winds up in a job where as a 26 year old you are only allowed to be in a room with other 26 year old employees, and you have to raise your hand and ask your boss before you can go to the bathroom, and you get in trouble if you help the colleague sitting next to you with her work, then I'm afraid my child may not be well-prepared by home education. :001_huh:

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If my child winds up in a job where as a 26 year old you are only allowed to be in a room with other 26 year old employees, and you have to raise your hand and ask your boss before you can go to the bathroom, and you get in trouble if you help the colleague sitting next to you with her work, then I'm afraid my child may not be well-prepared by home education. :001_huh:

 

 

That may rule out prison...and cubicles.:tongue_smilie:

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My 14 year old is working on his Boy Scout Eagle project (though it's not going very quickly at the moment, since he's Senior Patrol Leader), is Flight Sergeant in the Civil Air Patrol, and a Junior Instructor at his karate school. All of these have aspects that he'd use in the workforce, mostly management and leadership skills.

 

My 13 year old has two jobs at a local stable (one helping with lessons and the other training a horse that has just started to learn how to work with therapy riders -- as well as working with the horse during a therapy rider's session), and is also in charge of the church's large fish tank, which can be several hours per week. It's all volunteer work because of child labor laws, but having to show up on time and prepared, do what her supervisors tell her, are things that are preparing her for the work force, even before she is in high school.

 

All of my children take turns menu planning, preparing the evening meal, cleaning various parts of the house, laundry (rotating schedule that covers the whole house -- I do deeper cleaning on the area assigned to the 7 year old during her rotation -- I also do a majority of the cooking on her turn, as she's not ready for the stove/oven), when there need top be a repair to the house or a vehicle, dh or I include one of the children in the repair process. The teens are responsible for mowing, edging, maintaining the lawn.

 

Our next vacation will be a ski trip mostly planned by the three older children -- they're responsible for finding us lodging on the way up and back (staying in a family property while in the mountains), inventory of what we have, arrangement of rental/borrowing of what we need, since we no longer live in ski territory, menu planning and food shopping when we're there (keeping in mind altitude) -- I may do a lot of the actual cooking, as I don't ski and it takes so long up there. They're also comparison shopping and looking for discounts on lift tickets.

 

Educationally, the three older children are partly responsible for choosing their curriculum, and I give them weekly assignments for them to do by Friday ... they have to figure out time management around their other activities.

 

Scouting has been a great tool for us for both leadership and self-sufficiency skills.

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I'm the wrong person to ask. We raised our daughter to take charge of her own education and she turned this on us and laid out a very mature and well-thought-out argument for attending public high school. She's doing well, found her niche, and still maintains her homeschooling friendships.

 

My homeschooled son will only become increasingly disabled, so entering the Real World independently is not a goal for him.

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Maybe I'm reading the question differently, but I don't really feel like homeschooling is the real world.

 

Everything DD learns is custom set at her own pace, to challenge her in ways that she finds fun, and many based on her interests. She's encouraged to ask questions whenever they come up. She spends a lot of time lounging around at home (possibly in her PJs) looking at books, playing with her dolls, and whining for more art projects. The schooling we do is fairly advanced and intensive (IMO) but it only takes about an hour a day to get everything done, and she has a few chores, but everything else is her time. When we are bored, we go out and do something fun.

 

It's really unlikely that her adult life isn't going to be NEARLY so rosy. She'll have entry level jobs where sticking her head up will get her tarred a troublemaker, and where being too questioning is going to annoy her boss. Life will not move at her pace: there will be dull things that she has to politely sit through, and there will be fast-moving things that she'll need to muddle through without expecting the world to stop while she looks to see if there's a BrainPOP video that can explain things to her.

 

These are things that I worry about. My kids are too young for me to take drastic action about them, but I worry that some of the biggest benefits of homeschooling might become a liability if they think the world owes them this much love and attention.

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We aren't talking bookwork. How would you answer?

I don't think I'm doing anything much differently than if I were not homeschooling my child, know what I mean? I still have them do chores, help with the younger ones, play with kids of all ages, attend various private lessons/activities, and expose them to travel, museums, nature, etc...

 

I don't see how the homeschooling variable changes my raising my kids. Maybe one thing.. Maybe them seeing how I've taken charge of not following the system I've taught them that they can make their own choices. That could be one thing they've gained from homeschooling.

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Maybe I'm reading the question differently, but I don't really feel like homeschooling is the real world.

 

Everything DD learns is custom set at her own pace, to challenge her in ways that she finds fun, and many based on her interests. She's encouraged to ask questions whenever they come up. She spends a lot of time lounging around at home (possibly in her PJs) looking at books, playing with her dolls, and whining for more art projects. The schooling we do is fairly advanced and intensive (IMO) but it only takes about an hour a day to get everything done, and she has a few chores, but everything else is her time. When we are bored, we go out and do something fun.

 

It's really unlikely that her adult life isn't going to be NEARLY so rosy. She'll have entry level jobs where sticking her head up will get her tarred a troublemaker, and where being too questioning is going to annoy her boss. Life will not move at her pace: there will be dull things that she has to politely sit through, and there will be fast-moving things that she'll need to muddle through without expecting the world to stop while she looks to see if there's a BrainPOP video that can explain things to her.

 

These are things that I worry about. My kids are too young for me to take drastic action about them, but I worry that some of the biggest benefits of homeschooling might become a liability if they think the world owes them this much love and attention.

 

 

The OP specified "not bookwork." Also, your oldest is only 5yo so I would hope that the "Real World" is still very much given only in appropriate doses.

 

 

My oldest is only 9yo, but he has already experienced having to do things that are not fun b/c they need to be done, dealing with people who don't care what he thinks, dealing with other people's messes, etc... When they meet things kinds of experiences, it is the parent who is *there* that can teach/train/coach through in a way that fosters maturity.

 

 

Mine have seen *me* deal with some monstrous people with grace. They've seen me be angry, gather self-control, do what must be done and carry on. They've seen me work through sticky situations where I needed to get a need met without hurting someone else's feelings. When they ask, "Mommy, why did you......" I am pretty blunt and open with them.

 

 

If they went to PS, they would be sheltered away from the Real World and would miss most of these opportunities.

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Maybe I'm reading the question differently, but I don't really feel like homeschooling is the real world.

 

Everything DD learns is custom set at her own pace, to challenge her in ways that she finds fun, and many based on her interests. She's encouraged to ask questions whenever they come up. She spends a lot of time lounging around at home (possibly in her PJs) looking at books, playing with her dolls, and whining for more art projects. The schooling we do is fairly advanced and intensive (IMO) but it only takes about an hour a day to get everything done, and she has a few chores, but everything else is her time. When we are bored, we go out and do something fun.

 

It's really unlikely that her adult life isn't going to be NEARLY so rosy. She'll have entry level jobs where sticking her head up will get her tarred a troublemaker, and where being too questioning is going to annoy her boss.

Life will not move at her pace: there will be dull things that she has to politely sit through, and there will be fast-moving things that she'll need to muddle through without expecting the world to stop while she looks to see if there's a BrainPOP video that can explain things to her.

 

These are things that I worry about. My kids are too young for me to take drastic action about them, but I worry that some of the biggest benefits of homeschooling might become a liability if they think the world owes them this much love and attention.

 

There are plenty of times when my kids get shut down by each other or others. There are plenty of times when I am beyond annoyed with the questioning, especially from my oldest, and I let her know it. My kids are in a choral and theater group where they have to sit politely for hours and practice or listen to others practice. I require them to work through things that they are stuck on, not just give them the answers. My girls are in gymnastics and just moved up to a higher level. They are behind the other girls at that level and are working very hard to keep up. As kids get older more and more "real life" opportunities present themselves. Give it time.

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Well, my kids have helped us in ministry with the homeless, low income elderly and prostitutes. I'm not sure how much more "real" their world can be. . .

 

I do not lock my kids in a closet or basement. They are around other children, including ones who are queen bees, wannabees, nerds, kids from all sorts of cultures and every other "real world" category I can think of.

 

They are learning how to do grown up tasks of taking care of a home, themselves and even a business. Both have had their own money making business starting from the age of 8.

 

They have been around some institutional learning and have learned some of the "real world" rules of how it works. But even if they've missed some rules of particular social institutions, they've learned how to use their observations skills to see what others are doing, how to use their voice to ask questions and how to ignore those social rules that are simply stupid.

 

My kids are "real" kids with their own "real" problems. They would be real kids with real problems of some sort no matter what schooling method we used. I don't use homeschool to protect my kids from reality. Our reality just is a bit different from other people's reality and is as unique as our family.

 

ETA: I felt convicted to come back and give full disclosure. While the first line about the ministry is correct, we are no longer involved in that ministry on a weekly basis and my kids actually never knew what those young women did for a living.

Edited by Jean in Newcastle
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Maybe I'm reading the question differently, but I don't really feel like homeschooling is the real world.

 

Everything DD learns is custom set at her own pace, to challenge her in ways that she finds fun, and many based on her interests. She's encouraged to ask questions whenever they come up. She spends a lot of time lounging around at home (possibly in her PJs) looking at books, playing with her dolls, and whining for more art projects. The schooling we do is fairly advanced and intensive (IMO) but it only takes about an hour a day to get everything done, and she has a few chores, but everything else is her time. When we are bored, we go out and do something fun.

 

It's really unlikely that her adult life isn't going to be NEARLY so rosy. She'll have entry level jobs where sticking her head up will get her tarred a troublemaker, and where being too questioning is going to annoy her boss. Life will not move at her pace: there will be dull things that she has to politely sit through, and there will be fast-moving things that she'll need to muddle through without expecting the world to stop while she looks to see if there's a BrainPOP video that can explain things to her.

 

These are things that I worry about. My kids are too young for me to take drastic action about them, but I worry that some of the biggest benefits of homeschooling might become a liability if they think the world owes them this much love and attention.

 

As your children get older a lot will change. We had many weeks of hour long days in our pjs when dd was in kindy, but now in 7th grade she has deadlines, 6-7 hour days, and no days off when she is not feeling like doing school.

 

We are teaching dd how to run a household, budget, balance a checkbook, use coupons, look for the best price to save money, how to invest, and so on. We never learned those things, and it was a struggle to catch up when we became adults.

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I feel that if they learn how to follow instructions that people beyond just me set out for them, if they can cook and clean, if they can work through tough jobs not because they like it, but because they have to, well then they're probably going to do alright in the real world.

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Without reading all the other responses, my first thoughts go to life skills. So cooking, cleaning, home repair, budgeting, etc. These are all important skills I want them to have so I make a point of including them in their day to day. I know too many people that as kids growing up their parents did everything for them and when they moved out they were completely lost, I see it now with many kids in town. Their parents do everything for them, give them all they want etc and they never learn to stand on their own 2 feet.

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My DS went straight into a job and hated it. This led him to college where he kept going until he became a physician. There wasn't much training on my part.

 

DD loves and works in theater. Her rehearsals and shows may go to 11p every night for 8 weeks before she gets a break. She has to work with adults and take direction from stage managers and directors. To me, it looks like a real job, but to her, it's fun.

 

I don't teach my kiddos how to clean until they are ready to leave home. They have always been too busy for regular chores. Both can cook enough to survive as well as read recipes.

 

:)

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I'm the wrong person to ask. We raised our daughter to take charge of her own education and she turned this on us and laid out a very mature and well-thought-out argument for attending public high school. She's doing well, found her niche, and still maintains her homeschooling friendships.

 

Ditto for my d14. She did well planning and implementing 8th grade as her 9th grade year but persuaded us to let her start 9th grade (meaning repeating it) at the ps this year. Her homeschool friends are in ps as well. That played a part in her decision.

 

For my ds16, I'd like to help him understand what it means to work outside the house and manage his own money. I'm hoping he'll find a part-time job when he's 17. I think that will help him a great deal.

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Why does the phrase "real world" always come with such a negative connotation? My "real world" isn't THAT negative.

 

Perhaps you mean, "Adult world?"

 

To me, ANY 5yo's world isn't an adult world, homeschooled or not. We ALL shelter littles, at least a bit.

 

For the OP, I guess we taught some life skills, and set some expectations. Use and realities of $$ was probably the most important.

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What do you mean by the "real world?"

 

Everyone's world is a little different. We try to give our kids a work ethic, skills to go along with it, and education to help them enjoy life. We try to make sure they understand that there are a lot of different ways to live, not just our family's way. We help them develop their social skills.

 

There are probably other things I'm not thinking of. But I think that's just parenting, homeschool or not, isn't it?

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I am teaching my kid the following:

-how to try again when you fail.

-how to think critically.

-compassion

-moderation

-self discipline

-how to turn a dream into a goal.

-how to follow his interests.

-achievement in the path, not the end result.

-dedication

-honesty

-how to follow his gut feeling.

 

 

 

The book work doesn't matter. It's how he lives his life that will count for success.

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Maybe I'm reading the question differently, but I don't really feel like homeschooling is the real world.

 

Everything DD learns is custom set at her own pace, to challenge her in ways that she finds fun, and many based on her interests. She's encouraged to ask questions whenever they come up. She spends a lot of time lounging around at home (possibly in her PJs) looking at books, playing with her dolls, and whining for more art projects. The schooling we do is fairly advanced and intensive (IMO) but it only takes about an hour a day to get everything done, and she has a few chores, but everything else is her time. When we are bored, we go out and do something fun.

 

It's really unlikely that her adult life isn't going to be NEARLY so rosy. 1. She'll have entry level jobs where sticking her head up will get her tarred a troublemaker, and where being too questioning is going to annoy her boss. Life will not move at her pace: 2. there will be dull things that she has to politely sit through, and there will be fast-moving things that she'll need to muddle through without expecting the world to stop while she looks to see if there's a BrainPOP video that can explain things to her.

 

These are things that I worry about. My kids are too young for me to take drastic action about them, but I worry that some of the biggest benefits of homeschooling might become a liability if they think the world owes them this much love and attention.

 

Addressing the above:

 

1. I'm not training my son for a job, I training him for the world. It may be genetic, but I don't expect him to not ever annoy a boss, I don't expect him to sit in a cubicle, and I don't expect him to blindly follow anyone. At 15 his favorite question is still why, and I expect him to stand up for himself and anyone else, even if he is the minority. I want a child that will live out his convictions, not just be stuck in a job and kowtow to a boss to get a paycheck.

 

He's had that modeled for him. At five he would sometimes go with dh to work (construction- when we deemed it safe). He knew what his daddy did to put food on the table. I've met too many teenagers who are totally disconnected from their families and who really don't understand what their parent(s) do to earn a living. Homeschooling forces us to be more transparent to our children. Conflict resolution (not just fights, but true conflicts in business or household care) and conversations that many families have behind closed doors have happened around ds by virtue of the fact he is home when they happen. There were very few times we told him to go to his room, so we could deal with something privately. It's been good for him to see how a household and a business run. Now that dh is Not working for himself, we still discuss the business issues of his job daily.

 

2. that happens in homeschooling too. He still has to do math whether he wants to or not. He still has to sit still in public, field trips, etc. Yes, you still have to teach your children that the sun does not revolve around them.

Deadlines and standards are not just for B&M schools, they happen in homeschooling too.

 

I'm in my 40s. I graduated from public high school eons ago. Nothing else in my life created the same environment as public school. The real life experience ds has had because we homeschool cannot be replaced or replicated by a school.

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Why does the phrase "real world" always come with such a negative connotation? My "real world" isn't THAT negative.

 

Perhaps you mean, "Adult world?"

 

To me, ANY 5yo's world isn't an adult world, homeschooled or not. We ALL shelter littles, at least a bit.

 

For the OP, I guess we taught some life skills, and set some expectations. Use and realities of $$ was probably the most important.

 

Because it implies that we live in a fantasy world, in which it is all rainbows and butterflies, and unicorns that poop muffins.

 

In my world, there is work to be done, whether you like it or not, difficult people to deal with, scheduling challenges, economic challenges (financial and basic opportunity cost), and so on. All of these things are addressed at an age appropriate level.

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Because it implies that we live in a fantasy world, in which it is all rainbows and butterflies, and unicorns that poop muffins.

 

In my world, there is work to be done, whether you like it or not, difficult people to deal with, scheduling challenges, economic challenges (financial and basic opportunity cost), and so on. All of these things are addressed at an age appropriate level.

I want a unicorn that poops muffins. GF muffins. Someone obviously shorted my 'So You Wanna Be A Homeschooler Kit'. :glare:

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Because it implies that we live in a fantasy world, in which it is all rainbows and butterflies, and unicorns that poop muffins.

 

In my world, there is work to be done, whether you like it or not, difficult people to deal with, scheduling challenges, economic challenges (financial and basic opportunity cost), and so on. All of these things are addressed at an age appropriate level.

 

My unicorn poops cupcakes that are then carried to me by a man in a kilt.

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We are living it and we are active in it.

 

I have seen families who rarey ever are involved with people outside their house. There kids are so shy and uncomfortable around people that it is painful to watch them. When they do show up for the one or two odd hs events, they stay with their family and don't know how to interract with others. I worry what their future will look like and I feel the parents are doing their kids a disservice by sheltering them so much. Two families come to mind and there are four and six kids in each. ALL kids look uncomfortable and even scared. I think that is sad.

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Another vote for this one.:001_smile:

 

Who says stuff like this?!?

 

My mil. All the time. To my kids. As in a threat, "wait until you get into the real world." Or condescendingly, "you don't live in the real world," etc. and to me condescendingly, "Your kids don't live in the real world."

 

She's the one who advocates that they go to public school so that their buddies can cheer for them when they get an "a" :lol:and learn to deal with the bullies that they'll encounter irl to "toughen them up".

She's also the one that took early retirment, after getting the union involved because she was being bullied by a group (as a teacher), was afraid she was going to get fired and lose her retirement.

 

Just argh. She's cooking my grits this year.

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I have seen families who rarey ever are involved with people outside their house. There kids are so shy and uncomfortable around people that it is painful to watch them. When they do show up for the one or two odd hs events, they stay with their family and don't know how to interract with others. I worry what their future will look like and I feel the parents are doing their kids a disservice by sheltering them so much. Two families come to mind and there are four and six kids in each. ALL kids look uncomfortable and even scared. I think that is sad.

 

I knew families like this when I was in school. All or most of the family members were socially awkward. School didn't really change that about them and just made them the object of people's teasing and ridicule.

 

There are socially awkward homeschoolers and socially awkward schoolers just as there are socially savvy homeschoolers and socially savvy schoolers.

 

Tara

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