I need a pep talk: SERIOUS anxiety over calling police

[Denisemomof4]

I have posted before that I have serious anxiety surrounding confrontation. We need to file harassment charges against our neighbor (I've written twice here about here) but the thought makes my heart speed up and gasp for air. I don't know why but this only happens whenever I need to confront someone, and apparently when calling police - which I've never done before.

 

I seriously want to back out (dh and I plan to do this together but since most of her harrassment has been against me, I will need to do most of the talking) but know filing a report for our own protection is the best thing to do.

 

You all gave me AMAZING advice when my dd was being bullied by coaches at swim. Can you please help me again?

 

THANKS!!!!!

[Jennifer in MI]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: There is nothing wrong with your dh making the call and doing most of the talking.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry.

[kitten18]

I'm horrible at that kind of stuff. So I will just give hugs. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I'm horrible at that kind of stuff. So I will just give hugs. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Me too! :grouphug:

[Lara in Colo]

You are gonna have to do a little pushing to open the door of the box you have been backed into.

 

There are going to plenty of us that give you hugs.

 

I am going to tell you to put on your big girl panties and walk the walk that will protect you and yours.

 

I'll give you hugs afterward though....

[brett_ashley]

I guess I don't really see harassment. You said you happened by her and she was "nasty" to you and you were nasty in return. Your little girl might have heard her say something else that could be construed as more threatening? I don't see the police really caring. She's not calling you or coming on your property. How exactly is she harassing you except for rudeness when you run into her?

[Robin M]

Write down everything you need to say so you don't forget anything. Plus it should help if you get flustered. Practice before hand. Take a few deep breaths, relax.

[Pink Fairy]

I always do better when I am well-prepared. Take notes, practice with your hubby, and make sure all your ducks are in a row before you call. I would have on hand a list of the ways you feel that she has violated the law. When you phone, try and keep the emotion out of it, be calm, cool and factual.

 

:grouphug: You can do it!

[Spryte]

Write down everything you need to say so you don't forget anything. Plus it should help if you get flustered. Practice before hand. Take a few deep breaths, relax.

 

Yes. Write it all down, make notes for yourself.

 

If you can also write down everything that's happened, everything relevant, to give to the police - they would probably appreciate that.

[Harriet Vane]

I guess I don't really see harassment. You said you happened by her and she was "nasty" to you and you were nasty in return. Your little girl might have heard her say something else that could be construed as more threatening? I don't see the police really caring. She's not calling you or coming on your property. How exactly is she harassing you except for rudeness when you run into her?

 

I have the same confusion.

[bettyandbob]

I have the same confusion.

 

 

I think there was another thread before the last one. I recall more information earlier that makes situation a little more problematic.

[Anne in CA]

Dealing with difficult people in general is hard. I have done it so much that I can be rattlesnake tough when someone is trying to hurt my kids or scam money from me. The reason I learned to be so tough this way is because I am not doing it for me, I am doing it for other people. I actually let go of a lot of stuff done just to me.

 

Please remember how much you love your family and how much you are willing to do for them and just add this to the bill. I know that when you have had parents who punished you for standing up for yourself or telling the truth as you saw it, it is very hard to start later in the game. But this is about your whole family and they deserve a home that is pleasant for everyone as much as possible. Your kids have enough to deal with without letting problems with the neighbors go into infinity.

[scrapbabe]

I guess I don't really see harassment. You said you happened by her and she was "nasty" to you and you were nasty in return. Your little girl might have heard her say something else that could be construed as more threatening? I don't see the police really caring. She's not calling you or coming on your property. How exactly is she harassing you except for rudeness when you run into her?

 

There is much more to the story than that one thread.

[brett_ashley]

There is much more to the story than that one thread.

 

I've read the threads. The neighbor sprayed her daughter with mud in her car years ago. Denise called her a f#*%ing b@#$. Then she called the police when her puppies were in the road. Not harassment.

 

Hugs, Denise! I'm sorry your neighbors are so bad! Thankfully you have some land and don't have to see them daily.

[Denisemomof4]

I guess I don't really see harassment. You said you happened by her and she was "nasty" to you and you were nasty in return. Your little girl might have heard her say something else that could be construed as more threatening? I don't see the police really caring. She's not calling you or coming on your property. How exactly is she harassing you except for rudeness when you run into her?

 

It's an ongoing pattern. This is just the last straw for me. If the police say there's nothing to report, at least I know I've tried.

 

I have definitely had grounds to press charges in the past and was stupid not to.

[celticmom]

:grouphug:

[Little Nyssa]

I've had the police at my house twice (where we used to live), once to report an attempted mugging, and once to report neighbors throwing things at us over the fence. Both times the police were very kind and considerate. I think they like interacting with people who are not actually the ones causing trouble. :)

 

I'm also confused about your case, but there's no harm asking the police about it. You don't have to prove anything to them. Just tell what happened and they can figure it out.