golgibody Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Hi- I am new to afterschooling and this forum and running into a roadblock because my middle schooler is just.not.interested. After homeschooling my son in the classical tradition through 6th grade, we put him in a well-regarded private school last year, thinking it would be good for him to make the transition to brick-and-mortar school during middle school rather than high school (ie before grades really start to matter). He loved it, primarily for the social aspect, and did very well academically- all A's- but was really not challenged by the material. I don't think he learned a single new thing academically, really. He certainly learned a lot about test taking and realized how the 'silly' mistakes he often made and could get away with in homeschool (sign errors in math, not reading directions fully) cost him in regular school. By all accounts from his teachers, he is responsible and on task at school, with good behavior both in and out of the classroom- kind, respectful, yadayadayada. Because he studied Latin and piano for 3 years while we were hs, DH and I were not willing to just drop those things, particularly since the school does not do a good job of providing either music or foreign language education. We kept doing them last year (afterschooling, I guess, though we didn't know the term) and are planning on doing so again this year (8th grade). When he starts high school next year, he will be able to take Latin at school. Here's the problem: he fights, tooth and nail, about doing these things. He knows most of his schoolfriends don't have anything to do in the evenings except sports and homework- in addition, they are allowed to play video games and watch tv (things we restrict to the weekends); he has "all this extra work" as he puts it and begs every night for us to let him quit piano and Latin. The piano is 1/2 hr per night, and Latin, if he's in a good mood, takes him about the same. We're flexible- if he has a lot of homework one night, he can skip the latin and make it up the next night or over the weekend. He complains so much, though, that the whole exercise takes sometimes an hour and a half or two hours a night. He is not at ALL that on-task boy his teachers see at school! We don't have that much time in the evenings as it is, and his attitude is really starting to spoil our evenings and the mood of the rest of our family (we have five younger ones who are still homeschooled). I guess this is more of a discipline issue than an afterschooling one, but has anyone run into this? Really wanting to afterschool your kids but running into a great deal of resistance from the kid himself? Is it worth it? If I allow him to quit Latin and/or piano, am I just giving in and allowing his whininess to win? thank you for any advice/anecdotes you can offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApronMama Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 My kids are younger, so I don't have any advice except to say that sometimes there are seasons to afterschooling. Sometimes it works well, sometimes it doesn't based on activities, family issues, and how kids change. 3rd grade was a struggle to fit in afterschooling, but 4th grade we switched Latin programs and it made a huge difference for my son. Now he's learning more in a shorter period of time than before. I would say that given your sons age, which I'm anticipating to be a tough age even for veteran afterschoolers, and the adjustment to a new school, I would expect some pushback. 2 additional hours of work does seem like a lot, depending on how long his homework takes. I think you need to find some compromises with him and give him some ownership--perhaps less times spent on Latin and piano, or ditch either Latin or piano for now, or let him earn some screen time by working on those things. You can try adding things back in when he gets used to his new life at school. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 He knows most of his schoolfriends don't have anything to do in the evenings except sports and homework- in addition, they are allowed to play video games and watch tv (things we restrict to the weekends) My boys are still young so I am saying entirely from my own experience. 8th grade is tough in terms of peer pressure, teenage years. I have plenty of male cousins and some crash in grades from 7th to 10th grade in their grades due to peer pressure. Luckily they eventually studied hard and got good grades. As for piano and latin, a year of not practising the piano or not revising a language is going to cause a downslide in skills. I played the piano. When I stopped practising, I lose the stamina and the fluency to play the music pieces. My sight reading for piano detoriated. My german deproved when I stopped revising after starting work. Now I am slowly picking the grammar back again. Is it possible for your son to do latin and piano after school and do sports and homework in the evenings like his friends? I am asking because my neighbors who are in middle school practise their musical intruments before dinner so I get treated to piano, clarinet and violin music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I kind of have to agree with the kids on this. If they are in school all day I can't see making them do more work in the evenings. Perhaps a project that requires some weekend work, but not MORE work on top of all that they do all day. For me it doesn't make sense.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Way of My People Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 My kids are much younger than yours - so take this with a grain of salt - but what about letting your son have some input about how or when he does piano and Latin? Maybe sit him down and explain why you think it is important that he continue, and then ask if he has any ideas for ways to make the system work better? We do piano practice first thing in the morning (after breakfast, before school time) so that I don't have to try to get tired/grumpy kids to practice in the afternoon. Would he like that better, even if it meant he had to wake up a few minutes earlier? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 We enrolled our younger son in a "rigorous" private school for 6th grade this year after homeschooling for the previous five years. I informed him that if he wanted to do the school thing, he would need to agree to afterschooling. So, for us, it is part of the package. I'd tell him that if he wants to go to school, he needs to do the afterschooling with you--this is assuming that you'd be willing to homeschool him again. That said, I'm trying very hard to pick key things to study, things that the school is really not doing well (or not doing at all!). And I'm keeping it light and conversational, meaning that I'm doing a lot of reading aloud and we're discussing things. We do it as a bedtime read aloud thing, just expanded. And I'm committed to keeping it under an hour each time. With the math, I'm reading the book aloud and he's doing the problems orally. Once he needs to write things down, we'll use a whiteboard at the couch. I also make the most of any homework help I provide. I require that his writing be up to my standards. We discuss and expand on the math he's learning in school. That sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
americastamps Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 What about letting him earn some screen time if he finishes his Latin in a half hour(rather than 1 1/2 hrs) That way if he drags his feet whining about Latin he will use up more time than necessary, but if he does it promptly he could earn maybe 20 minutes of screen time and still have more time left over than if he had complained and taken too long. (50 min total--30 for latin, and 20 for video games would be better than 1 1/2 hours of complaining about Latin) I can totally picture my son in this scenario because he will whine about writing for four times as long as it would have taken to write it. So, now, the lightbulb is going off for me too, and I think I will have to take my own advice in letting him earn some screentime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Could your son take a break from Latin this year and resume it next year in high school? Maybe you could compromise by letting him skip Latin this year but stick with piano. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSinNH Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 The public middle school here has time during the week for either extra help or an "enrichment activity." Perhaps, if the Latin is independent, the school would let him do that for enrichment, if they have that extra time. For us, piano has always been an extracurricular activity, just like sports. Can you present it like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loudwater School Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 How about if you offer him a trade? If he does Latin and piano in half an hour each with a good attitude, he gets half an hour to either watch TV or play a video game in the evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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