S/o personal money thing... is this a small town thing?

[staceyobu]

My mom (who is from a big city) thinks that spending lots of money shopping is a small town thing. I disagreed. However, then I talked to DH (small town boy) and he said almost every woman he knew growing up was like that and he thinks it *is* a small town thing... possibly resulting from boredom.

 

DH and my mom clarify that it isn't spending big bucks on something specific (like really nice furniture), but it's more unnecessary shopping. So, days spent shopping and buying lots of inexpensive jewelry, clothing, handbags, house nick knacks, etc...

[QueenCat]

My mom (who is from a big city) thinks that spending lots of money shopping is a small town thing. I disagreed. However, then I talked to DH (small town boy) and he said almost every woman he knew growing up was like that and he thinks it *is* a small town thing... possibly resulting from boredom.

 

DH and my mom clarify that it isn't spending big bucks on something specific (like really nice furniture), but it's more unnecessary shopping. So, days spent shopping and buying lots of inexpensive jewelry, clothing, handbags, house nick knacks, etc...

 

I don't live in a small town. I don't shop for the sake of shopping but I do shop for things other than food & essentials on a regular basis. Or do things... museums are a favored activity around here.

[regentrude]

So, days spent shopping and buying lots of inexpensive jewelry, clothing, handbags, house nick knacks, etc...

 

Grew up in a big city with shopping opportunities. Some browsing and window shopping can be fun, and buying the occasional things - but a person who spends DAYS shopping for this much stuff has to much time and money on her hands.

In our small town there is nowhere where I could spend a day shopping.

Most people I know, both in big and small cities, do not have to shop out of boredom; they have stuff to do.

[PeacefulChaos]

My mom (who is from a big city) thinks that spending lots of money shopping is a small town thing. I disagreed. However, then I talked to DH (small town boy) and he said almost every woman he knew growing up was like that and he thinks it *is* a small town thing... possibly resulting from boredom.

 

DH and my mom clarify that it isn't spending big bucks on something specific (like really nice furniture), but it's more unnecessary shopping. So, days spent shopping and buying lots of inexpensive jewelry, clothing, handbags, house nick knacks, etc...

 

Hmmm... interesting. I kind of think it's more of a mindset or personality than geographical location, BUT who knows?

So I'm wondering, what is it that the city people do that the small towners can't, that doesn't require any money?

[elegantlion]

I thought it was an 80s thing, maybe a suburban thing. I grew up in a big town suburbs and we hit the mall on the weekend. As we grew older we just hit the mall and shopped instead of trying to pick up guys. :lol:

 

I live in a small town now and do less shopping than ever. Maybe it's age thing and being broke doesn't help.

 

I also know for me it used to be a credit card thing. I was 18 with way more accessible credit than I needed. This was back when they would mail you credit cards without requesting them. Fun times :tongue_smilie:.

 

The over shopping I'm thinking of is tied to a very consumeristic update, upgrade, redecorate mindset.

 

I think of country goes to town shopping is more about waiting until your in town to buy what you really need, not just over spending on stuff.

[Carol in Cal.]

I think of it as a city thing. Restless people, deprived of easy access to wild nature, hemmed in in concrete and artificial landscapes, sometimes in unsafe or uninviting neighborhoods, fairly impersonal communities, going to a safe place where they feel desirable and can entertain themselves with the artificial and the fashionable rather than the real.

[Barb_]

I have an aunt who likes to be known as a recreational shopper. Maybe it is a small town thing. My Great Grandma used to get dressed up and catch a taxi "to town" to shop and get her hair done even after she moved to Florida and basically lived in town.

[marbel]

I think it's a personality thing. Some people like to shop. I've mostly lived in the suburbs of big cities and I've known people who are recreational shoppers and people who hate shopping.

 

I've been both myself. When I was young and single I loved to shop and buy jewelry, shoes, etc. Now I have kids and a budget and my life is different, and shopping is a burden to me.

[Pawz4me]

I think it's a personality thing. Some people like to shop. I've mostly lived in the suburbs of big cities and I've known people who are recreational shoppers and people who hate shopping.

 

:iagree:

 

I totally don't get shopping as a leisure activity. I'd get more enjoyment out of watching the grass grow. My mom's the same way. But my SIL and MIL could happily spend all their waking hours shopping. We all live in suburban areas within ten miles of each other.

[PeacefulChaos]

I think it's a personality thing. Some people like to shop. I've mostly lived in the suburbs of big cities and I've known people who are recreational shoppers and people who hate shopping.

 

I've been both myself. When I was young and single I loved to shop and buy jewelry, shoes, etc. Now I have kids and a budget and my life is different, and shopping is a burden to me.

 

Yeah, sometimes I love shopping and sometimes I hate it. :) It just depends on my mood.

[LostSurprise]

Where do you go shopping in a small town??

 

I think its more of a suburban thing then a small town thing. My mother was raised in a small town, I've lived in small towns much of my life. Everyone shops in bigger towns once or twice a year. No one goes shopping for fun.

[mommymilkies]

I think it's a personality thing. I've lived in towns of 300 to huge Metropolises and everywhere in between. I've gotta say, there's nothing to do and nowhere to shop in small towns, so I have no idea how that could be a small town thing. And many that le in small towns don't have that kind of money. I have no idea how your mom came to that conclusion. Has she ever been to a small town?

[Lady Marmalade]

I think it might be a small town thing. I grew up in a small town, within half an hour driving distance of two bigger shopping cities. As a result, shopping was an event. It would be planned days or weeks in advance, and you'd make a day of it. Morning coffee, lots of shopping, lunch out, and shopping for a few accessories to go with whatever you bought that morning. A quick stop at a take-out place for dinner on the way home and you'd completed your shopping day. Much money was spent, and mostly on non-necessities.

 

Now I live in a city. I only do this crazy shopping thing when family is in town. It doesn't appeal anymore, but I also have everything I could need shopping-wise within a very short drive. It's nothing to swing by the mall and pick up this or that whenever I feel like it, and that's how I live now. Not that I'm shopping all the time, but when I need something, I pick it up. I don't wait for "the big shopping day" to buy that one item- along with a dozen others I don't really need.

[LucyStoner]

I think of it as a city thing. Restless people, deprived of easy access to wild nature, hemmed in in concrete and artificial landscapes, sometimes in unsafe or uninviting neighborhoods, fairly impersonal communities, going to a safe place where they feel desirable and can entertain themselves with the artificial and the fashionable rather than the real.

 

Or active community minded people who make frequent use of the abundance of libraries, parks, community centers and common public spaces. In tune with their neighbors and able to rarely if ever use a car to get around. Caring sorts who build and staff the region's top hospitals and universities and create and grow innovative companies. Giving types who create and staff foundations and non-profits that effectively work to serve people worldwide. People who invest heavily in urban renewal and things like gardening and urban homesteading.

 

Both of our descriptions of city life are accurate, depending on the perceptions of folks who live there. Small town America is great but it hardly has a monopoly on living well and working hard. We need both. If you live anywhere in a 4 or 5 state region and need the best medical care, you come to my city. If you want to see a big sports team or world class professional musicians, you come to my city. Yes, we have shopping here but it is hardly why I or many of my neighbors live here.

[fraidycat]

I grew up in a small town and hate shopping. So does my Mom.

 

My aunt and cousin from the same small town love shopping.

 

Now, my cousin and I both live in big cities. I still hate shopping, she still loves it.

 

There are recreational shoppers in every town or city.

[Parrothead]

Well, I've lived in small towns off and on for the last 25 years. I find that when I'm in the big city I don't have enough time to do all the shopping I need to do. There is no place in a small town to shop.

 

When I lived in a metropolitan area there was much more to do than in a small town. I often find that I'm bored living in a small town.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Parrothead

[Carol in Cal.]

Or active community minded people who make frequent use of the abundance of libraries, parks, community centers and common public spaces. In tune with their neighbors and able to rarely if ever use a car to get around. Caring sorts who build and staff the region's top hospitals and universities and create and grow innovative companies. Giving types who create and staff foundations and non-profits that effectively work to serve people worldwide. People who invest heavily in urban renewal and things like gardening and urban homesteading.

 

Both of our descriptions of city life are accurate, depending on the perceptions of folks who live there. Small town America is great but it hardly has a monopoly on living well and working hard. We need both. If you live anywhere in a 4 or 5 state region and need the best medical care, you come to my city. If you want to see a big sports team or world class professional musicians, you come to my city. Yes, we have shopping here but it is hardly why I or many of my neighbors live here.

 

Hey, no argument. I am a city girl myself, and I am not a shopper. But, I recognize the phenomenon as primarily a city thing, although I agree with you that it does not characterize city dwellers necessarily in a majority.

[KidsHappen]

I was born, raised and married military. I have lived in just about every size city. I think it is more a personality thing than a geographical thing. I HATE shopping even when it is absolutely necessary (like tp, pet food, groceries etc.) so I put it off as long as I can then it is a big event because I want to get all of my shopping done on one day so that I don't have to do it again in the near future. My mother and dds loved/loves shopping. I don't know if it is recreational for them or if they just like stuff. I don't like stuff and I find the actual physical act of shopping to be quite draining.

[Word Nerd]

I don't think it's a city or small town thing but depends on the individual. In my experience, even "city" and "small town" mean different things to different people, so I'm not sure how any generalizations could be made.

[NotSoObvious]

Nope. Unless the entire Salt Lake valley is considered a small town. ;)

[Annie G]

It probably depends on the individual to some extent, but availability seems to play a part. When we lived in a large city with stores everywhere, we were in those stores all the time. When we moved to a small town, all that stopped. Yeah, we'd make a monthly trip to a mall with the kids, but that was far less shopping than we'd been doing.

Now that the kids are grown, we go into the mall once a year or so. We do occasionally go to the bookstore outside the mall, but it's every few months rather than once or twice a week.

 

And we have a lot more disposable income now- so we have more to spend than we did while raising kids. So you'd think we'd spend more.

[dangermom]

Huh. I tend to think of it as a city thing--after all there's not much exciting shopping in a small town. You have to go to the big city in order to drop $300 on a pair of shoes! Nobody here minds that my shoes come from Payless, but I always get the impression that in bigger cities there's a lot more judgement about who's wearing what. It probably depends on the place, really--LA is different than SF is different than Des Moines. :)

 

My friends and I mostly do not shop a lot. We have budgets and hungry children instead. Oh wait, my friend T is a pro at shopping! I went with her to Kohl's once. I bought a new bed pillow that I needed. She bought 4 pillows, a wall hanging, and I don't even know what in the time it took me to pick out the pillow.

[gardening momma]

I grew up in small towns (populations were 447 and 461 at the last census). Mom planned ahead for big shopping trips to a larger city--usually 1/2 hour away. This included grocery shopping and any other errands/shopping that needed to be done. It was not about shopping out of boredom or buying unnecessary things. It was about going to better stores and getting it all done in one trip. I'd say she probably did this once or twice a month. Trips to a local grocery store (a couple miles away from home for the first town, and 2 blocks in the second), were for buying milk, eggs, cheese, etc. between big trips to the city.

 

If I went to the mall, it was a special thing, and something that hopefully I had money saved up for. So I might spend larger amounts, but it was because those mall trips were generally few & far between.

[FO4UR]

I just moved to a small town, and I think it has more to do with the lack of available stores locally.

 

Just today, I made a stop at a store b/c I had a dentist appt.(:001_huh:) Gas cost $, and I save up those trips for times when I can do multiple things at once. I don't shop for random knick-knacks and junk though. I plan out groceries/clothes/other stuff and buy when we are in town. It's bad when you ask to reschedule a dentist appt for a time before the 50% coupon expires...:lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some people, no matter where they are from, are shopaholics. They like the buzz of buying new things.

[Garga]

I've seen the opposite.

 

My Baltimore friends shop a lot. My friends in my small town where I live now, rarely go shopping.

 

But, my Baltimore friends have double incomes, and my small town friends don't.

[TranquilMind]

Hmmm... interesting. I kind of think it's more of a mindset or personality than geographical location, BUT who knows?

So I'm wondering, what is it that the city people do that the small towners can't, that doesn't require any money?

 

Yes, this has nothing to do with the size of the town. Some just spend like it's going out of style, whether they can afford it or not.

[CheerioKid]

Where do you go shopping in a small town??

 

I think it is a small town thing....my MIL and other extended family do a lot of yard sale shopping and dollar store shopping. It's a people-who-live-in-the-boonies-and-don't-budget-well-thing in my experience...lol!

[mytwomonkeys]

hmm, that has not been my experience. i grew up in atlanta. my mother and 3 sisters are shopaholics. my mother honestly keeps kohl's in business. they shop non-stop and none of them have a budget (and i love to visit them because they buy me stuff, lol). i live in a small rural town (cows for neighbors) and i live by our budget. i spend every dollar on paper before we even get paid. nothing is spent that was not budgeted for. most of the people i know IRL around me also live on budgets. in fact, many of my friends here follow dave ramsey (as do we).

[Word Nerd]

I think it's more of a shopping-at-Target thing. ;) I go in there with a specific list of items to shop for and come out with at least one item that I didn't realize I needed until I saw it.

[stripe]

In our small town there is nowhere where I could spend a day shopping.

Most people I know, both in big and small cities, do not have to shop out of boredom; they have stuff to do.

 

My grandma, who spent her entire married life as a housewife, used to go out shopping every morning. She made the rounds of discount stores, thrift stores, dollar stores, grocery stores, etc. Painfully boring, especially since she usually returned about half of what she bought. However she also did things like snag "good deals," even stuff that no one could clearly use (way too small or big). She also alters almost every garment she buys so she is not limited except by her imagination. I see her lifestyle as somewhat alien. She actually stands there musing about which toilet paper to buy for like fifteen minutes. She has a different idea of time.

[swellmomma]

The only difference I have seen living in both the big city and now a tiny village is the ease in shopping. In the city you can go from store to store over the course of days or weeks and plan out your "to buy" list carefully. Have time to stop and think if you really want to spend money on something.

 

In small towns often you only head to the big city 1-2 times a month, generally foryour big grocery shop and while there check out a couple places. There is more impulse shopping because you simple don't have time to go home and sleep on it. If there is a good price on something, you will not drive all the way back in the next day if you still want it, you grab it while you can knowing you won't be back for another month. etc

 

I do not think boredom has anything to do with it. I do not think the big city folks have done something more specific to help themselve not do that beyond living where they live. They have the luxury of proximity to reduce the amount of shopping they do. The small town folk know they have 1 afternoon to do all the shopping they will do that month and that tends to lead to more impulse spending.

[Jackie in NE]

I think it's a personality thing. Some people like to shop. I've mostly lived in the suburbs of big cities and I've known people who are recreational shoppers and people who hate shopping.

 

I've been both myself. When I was young and single I loved to shop and buy jewelry, shoes, etc. Now I have kids and a budget and my life is different, and shopping is a burden to me.

 

I've lived on ranches all my life (except for the last few years). I've known lots of ladies who shop for recreation. When I was single and working as a professional, I enjoyed shopping for suits for work, and nice clothes for evening functions But like Marbel, quoted above, now I have kids. Everything goes for them. There's no money left over for me, and yes, it gets old. But shopping is a burden. We're always scrimping, always trying to get the biggest bang for our buck. Someday, I'd like to be able to do some guilt-free shopping or traveling. Maybe once the kids are settled......

[lea_lpz]

I think it's a personality thing. Some people like to shop. I've mostly lived in the suburbs of big cities and I've known people who are recreational shoppers and people who hate shopping.

 

I've been both myself. When I was young and single I loved to shop and buy jewelry, shoes, etc. Now I have kids and a budget and my life is different, and shopping is a burden to me.

 

I feel precisely the same way. I don't think it really has anything to do with city or country living. Just priorities or unmet needs for some.

[QueenCat]

Yes, this has nothing to do with the size of the town. Some just spend like it's going out of style, whether they can afford it or not.

 

True... but there is a lot of in between too. Do I go shopping for the fun of it? Sure, mostly when I'm looking for inspiration for gifts, or just need to get out. Often, I walk out without having spent much. Usually, if I'm at the mall, it's for a reason, though. I do go out to eat a lot with family and friends. My girls nights are where I spend the largest chunk of "me" money. If we're eating near a mall, we will probably go in for a bit too; maybe pick up something if it catches our eyes. I also like to go to museums and festival type things. I wouldn't do it if I couldn't afford it...