How to solve the food issue?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Just telling them "no" doesnt work in any area, just like it doesnt work here. I am sick and tired of the food rollercoaster in my house.

 

I menu plan and plan shopping trips, but it never works. The kids, especially ds, start asking for food right away. If i'm not paying attention (simple answer is to pay more attention, i know!) he'll eat all six bagels in a day. He'll have a fit over the planned meal. If i prep foods, like cook and freeze pancakes for example, he'll eat them frozen! I dont normally buy cereals, but when i do, they last a single day.

 

I have a very hard time telling him no because he has lost weight multiple times and will refuse food. But he wastes a lot. I will find bagel pieces on the table, bowls of dry cereal still full, half eaten sandwiches. Part of the seeming lack of supervision is that he does not eat while sitting at the table; he takes a bite, runs off, comes back for more, runs off again, etc.

 

I do not know how to stay a step ahead of him. I dont think he really knows when he's hungry. Part of this is that he needs protein very frequently (hive helped with that one!) but i cant get it into him, so all the carbs leave him "starving." He rarely eats a meal. He eats all the time, but doesnt eat (dont ask how that actually makes sense!).

 

He's an instant gratification kid- open the fridge and eat. I have set up bins in the fridge for each kid and tried to limit him to x amount of something per day.

 

With the young marines being every saturday, i have the opportunity to go food shopping and get everything put away and/or prepped. If i hide something, like pancakes again, it's fine until he knows they're there.

 

I think what i'm trying to get at- how do i plan meals and snacks without having to go to the store daily, while limiting what ds can have and not feeling like i'm doing a disservice (or actually doing) to him? I want him to have some control over food, but how do i make him accept the choices available to him?

 

I go food shopping tomorrow and need to ease him into a gluten and dairy free diet.

[Chris in VA]

:grouphug: Sounds so frustrating!

 

I am sure someone is going to have a fabulous idea.

 

I was thinking about your protein issue. Have you tried Isopure? It's a protein drink--SUPER protein. It uses whey, tho. It's 40 grams of whey protein in a gatorade-type formula (kinda like a Koolaid) for 160 calories. It tastes ok--some flavors are rather nasty, but all taste better very cold. You could give him half a cup and he'd get about 8 g of protein. Use a straw and ice. It does fill you up, remarkably.

 

But if you want to take off dairy, it won't work, I guess.

 

Yeah, no help here!!

[Night Elf]

If you put foods up high on a shelf, would he climb a chair to get them? Can you find food alternatives and not buy the stuff like cereal? Would it be an imposition to change breakfast foods from frozen pancakes to oatmeal or scrambled eggs, something easy to cook but that can't be eaten ahead of time?

[AimeeM]

I'm not sure how much help I'll be - we have an "open kitchen policy", in part because DS3 and DD11 are both classified as "underweight" and the doctor strongly suggests we allow grazing.

What we *do* is leave "good foods" out in the open - fruit on the counters, veggies on the bottom shelf in the fridge, cheerios within reach, cheese sticks in the bottom fridge drawer, etc. While we never say "no" to junk food (and that just stems from my personal beliefs on the subject; the doctor certainly never told me to give them junk on demand, lol), junk simply doesn't happen as often because it requires searching out on their part ;).

 

Also, I pick up frequently throughout the day - so if I find a half eaten bowl of cheerios in my son's room, I simply throw it in a ziplock to stay fresh and hand it back to him; same with fruit - if I find half eaten fruit chunks, I stick them back in the fridge. We buy pre sliced fruit often... while more expensive at the fore, it cuts back on fruit waste because it can be thrown back into the fridge and will keep (unlike a half eaten whole apple or banana). Pre sliced is easier to dole out in smaller servings; same with veggies - the small dipping carrots amount to less waste than the large carrots because they can take a couple at a time.

 

ETA: Our doctor suggested the Carnation Instant Breakfast made into a "milk shake" for our eldest's nutrition needs.

Edited September 28, 2012 by AimeeM

[Parrothead]

To be perfectly honest it sounds like a discipline issue rather than an issue with food. Or maybe a bit of both.

 

How do you get him to self discipline in other areas? That will probably have to follow through to the area of food as well.

 

When you say that "no" doesn't work, what do you do that does work? Can you bring that to food as well?

 

Have you just tried not buying dairy products? Wheat products? Can you put a lock on the fridge so he can't get in at odd times of the day? What about locks on cabinets?

 

Personally I think I'd really work on the sitting at the table thing. It is some thing that is expected of society at large so it will be something he has to learn to do at some point.

 

Does he have sensory problems with meat? Perhaps alternate forms of protein would be helpful. Beans will feel more like grains in the mouth. Quinoa and rice possibly instead of wheat.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

He will eat things like fruit with no problem. The problem is that he wants it all, right now. If i buy 1 or 100 apples (or bananas, or strawberries, or cantaloupe) it lasts just a few days. He will sit and eat an entire cantaloupe at a sitting, or he'll just grab a baggie with 8 scoops and be just as satisfied.

 

I hesitate using any supplements because he loves the thought of not having to eat. He would (and has) happily live off liquid supplements.

 

It *is* a discipline issue, but we need food to live. If i say no to electronics, i just hide them. No guilt about saying no. But with food, it's different on my part.

 

We recently tossed the last of the pediasure and he's been eating and visibly growing; all pants are now too short. I know he has obviously had a growth spurt, but the food issues are constant.

 

The only way to keep him at the table is by using a highchair, but i cant afford one for his size. I have tried letting him watch movies while eating, provided he stay at the table, but that sets up dd for poor habits! She feels like she has to graze during the entire movie. She is already a bit heavy which causes more problems for me. I need to teach her to eat until satisified, not stuff until she's near puking.

 

I'll be back...

[Wabi Sabi]

If you can't provide supervision then just lock it up. Get a fridge lock, get a cabinet lock and just set out one day's worth of food at a time.

[Wabi Sabi]

It *is* a discipline issue, but we need food to live. If i say no to electronics, i just hide them. No guilt about saying no. But with food, it's different on my part.

 

Of course you need food to live. You can provide ample portions of good food and simply keep the rest inaccessible. That's not denying him anything, IMO. Get a lock for the main refrigerator and pick up a cheap used minifridge on Craigslist that you can restock daily with reasonable amounts of food that he'll eat.

 

The only way to keep him at the table is by using a highchair, but i cant afford one for his size. .

 

You can't sit right next to him to keep him from leaving the table?

Edited September 28, 2012 by Wabi Sabi

[amo_mea_filiis.]

You can't sit right next to him to keep him from leaving the table?

 

No. He sees it as a challenge. He will climb under the table, over the table, through the chairs, or just start pushing. That means that either i cant eat or i eat at a different time. I have done this but it turns eating into a behavior.

[bobbeym]

My nephew was like this when he was little. His mom let him wander and graze on whatever, whenever. Once my brother got full custody, he enlisted our help under the guise of an extended visit with Auntie and Uncle.

 

We had to lock down the fridge, keep counters and table clean, and be on the alert for any effort my nephew made to go into the kitchen by himself, so he wouldn't climb up onto the counters to get into the cabinet.

 

When it came time for meals, he had to sit at the table with 30 minutes to eat. If he got down, he was directed him back to the table and gave him one warning. The next time he got down, the food went into the kitchen. He ended up missing a few meals those first few days, but once he learned that crying to Daddy about not getting to eat wasn't going to get him anywhere, he finally gave in and just ate at the table with the rest of us.

[NotSoObvious]

My dd had major overreacting issues when we got her.

 

We have firm eating times five times a day. We sit down for meals. I involve them in cooking and choosing food. I don't force them to eat, but they have to try everything and I try to strike a balance between what they like and new foods or foods they don't like. We are not an open kitchen family. We just haven't had the luxury to be like that. I'd have an obese kid with horrible habits if I did that. She has no full sensor, for a variety of reasons.

 

She needs a lot of protein. A LOT. Breakfast sets the tone for the day. I load her up with eggs, steel cut oats, etc. Morning snack includes some sort of cheese or yogurt. I'm more lenient with afternoon snacks. I try not to keep things in the house that I don't want her eating. She gets enough junk when we are out of the house.

 

Anyhow, my two bits of advice are to close the kitchen and watch what you buy. You can even tell your kid that you are helping him develop some better habits.

[ocelotmom]

If you can't provide supervision then just lock it up. Get a fridge lock, get a cabinet lock and just set out one day's worth of food at a time.

 

This was going to be my suggestion. It's what we have to do because of my housemate's autistic daughter.

 

I also find that wheat is an appetite stimulant. That may be something you want in his case, but maybe limit it to meals and not have it available for snacking.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I wish i knew how to lock the fridge. We went through a major destructive phase when we lived in my fathers basement. Ds would dump gallons of soy milk on the carpet. It only happened twice. After the first time, i had him sleep with me thinking i would wake if he did. When that failed, i locked the fridge. It was a side by side fridge so i could lock from the top. I also used those screw in child locks on the cabinents.

 

Here, i do not have a side by side fridge so there is no way to lock it from a capable 7 year old. I also cant put screws in these cabinents since we rent. The stick on locks can be broken easiely, and again, nothing else keeps a capable 7yo out.

 

I would like to figure this out. Dd sneaks spices to eat, and sugar.

[In the Rain]

I wish i knew how to lock the fridge. We went through a major destructive phase when we lived in my fathers basement. Ds would dump gallons of soy milk on the carpet. It only happened twice. After the first time, i had him sleep with me thinking i would wake if he did. When that failed, i locked the fridge. It was a side by side fridge so i could lock from the top. I also used those screw in child locks on the cabinents.

 

Here, i do not have a side by side fridge so there is no way to lock it from a capable 7 year old. I also cant put screws in these cabinents since we rent. The stick on locks can be broken easiely, and again, nothing else keeps a capable 7yo out.

 

I would like to figure this out. Dd sneaks spices to eat, and sugar.

 

This kind of food sneaking seems extreme. What drives it? I've heard of it occurring in kids who have come from orphanages or homes where they have been deprived. I've also seen shows about kids with disorders that affect their appetite control.

 

I don't know if your kids are adopted or not. If not, I'd wonder if there is some kind of biological irregularity or nutrient deficiency driving this behavior. I've never even heard of sneaking spices. They don't even taste good. :confused: Maybe I'm ignorant, and I hope I don't sound mean. It just seems so extreme that I would be pressing my doctor to figure out what would drive my child to sneak spices. Unless you think it is just a behavior issue.

[ocelotmom]

I wish i knew how to lock the fridge. We went through a major destructive phase when we lived in my fathers basement. Ds would dump gallons of soy milk on the carpet. It only happened twice. After the first time, i had him sleep with me thinking i would wake if he did. When that failed, i locked the fridge. It was a side by side fridge so i could lock from the top. I also used those screw in child locks on the cabinents.

 

Here, i do not have a side by side fridge so there is no way to lock it from a capable 7 year old. I also cant put screws in these cabinents since we rent. The stick on locks can be broken easiely, and again, nothing else keeps a capable 7yo out.

 

I would like to figure this out. Dd sneaks spices to eat, and sugar.

 

Yeah, our fridge is side by side with handles, so a bike lock works for us.

[Parrothead]

I wish i knew how to lock the fridge. We went through a major destructive phase when we lived in my fathers basement. Ds would dump gallons of soy milk on the carpet. It only happened twice. After the first time, i had him sleep with me thinking i would wake if he did. When that failed, i locked the fridge. It was a side by side fridge so i could lock from the top. I also used those screw in child locks on the cabinents.

 

Here, i do not have a side by side fridge so there is no way to lock it from a capable 7 year old. I also cant put screws in these cabinents since we rent. The stick on locks can be broken easiely, and again, nothing else keeps a capable 7yo out.

 

I would like to figure this out. Dd sneaks spices to eat, and sugar.

You can put a hasp with a Master lock on a fridge/freezer. I've seen in done. You might have to buy the fridge or buy your own and give the landlord his back so as to not damage it, but it can be done.

 

I've pretty much emptied my food storage cabinet (yes, one cabinet. It is a very odd kitchen) everything that normally goes into the food cabinet had been put into the freezer. It is a pain in the patootie but it can be done.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Parrothead

[LittleIzumi]

Have any possible nutritional/mineral deficiencies been looked for?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

With dd, sneaking food and spices is from her sensory seeking issues and oral sensory seeking. She likes the way it feels in her mouth. She'll even just smell them. She likes very strong tastes, and has tried foods i wouldnt go near. Part of this is because, yes, she is a bit deprived of strong foods because i cant afford to cook different meals. Ds is lower weight and must eat. Dd will eat anything, and will try anything, so she gets the short end here.

 

Ds doesnt sneak so much as just having a constant need to eat likely because he refuses foods that will satisfy his nutritional needs over oral needs. IOW: he needs a good amount of protein, but would prefer baby food fruit with baby cereal. This does nothing for him and he can eat a LOT of baby food.

 

Basically, he eats, has a fit about not having anything to eat, eats something else or even just makes something else but walks away, has another fit, maybe finds something to occupy him, and again and again. I think this started from untreated reflux, so he would drink constantly and has always preferred softer foods.

 

I no longer think there is a medical cause for ds's food issues (aside from sensory and mood). I think we just fell into terrible patterns and habits and this has been lower on my priority list of issues when it should have been higher.

 

I can get some high baby gates and make the kitchen a chore to access, but our main bathroom for toilet purposes is through the kitchen and the upstairs toilet does not even work once it frrezes outside. I also dont want to create new problems by locking off the kitchen.

[Parrothead]

No. He sees it as a challenge. He will climb under the table, over the table, through the chairs, or just start pushing. That means that either i cant eat or i eat at a different time. I have done this but it turns eating into a behavior.

This may be what you have to do until eating at the table becomes normal for him.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Have any possible nutritional/mineral deficiencies been looked for?

 

Yes. Dd had a thing for salt, would eat a block of parmesan (sp?) cheese, and lives to eat ice. All bloodwork has come back normal, so we're fairly certain it is oral sensory seeking.

[Parrothead]

With dd, sneaking food and spices is from her sensory seeking issues and oral sensory seeking. She likes the way it feels in her mouth. She'll even just smell them. She likes very strong tastes, and has tried foods i wouldnt go near. Part of this is because, yes, she is a bit deprived of strong foods because i cant afford to cook different meals. Ds is lower weight and must eat. Dd will eat anything, and will try anything, so she gets the short end here.

 

Ds doesnt sneak so much as just having a constant need to eat likely because he refuses foods that will satisfy his nutritional needs over oral needs. IOW: he needs a good amount of protein, but would prefer baby food fruit with baby cereal. This does nothing for him and he can eat a LOT of baby food.

 

Basically, he eats, has a fit about not having anything to eat, eats something else or even just makes something else but walks away, has another fit, maybe finds something to occupy him, and again and again. I think this started from untreated reflux, so he would drink constantly and has always preferred softer foods.

 

I no longer think there is a medical cause for ds's food issues (aside from sensory and mood). I think we just fell into terrible patterns and habits and this has been lower on my priority list of issues when it should have been higher.

 

I can get some high baby gates and make the kitchen a chore to access, but our main bathroom for toilet purposes is through the kitchen and the upstairs toilet does not even work once it frrezes outside. I also dont want to create new problems by locking off the kitchen.

OT seems like a place for both of them to start working on these issues.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We do. The OT has so much on her plate for both kids, she has to pick and choose which issue is most pressing.

 

We tried the process in the book "just take a bite," but ds is behind and beyond their steps. This does tell me that it's more behavioral, and i know from my trillion other posts on him that he looks for control where ever he can.

 

He tolerates unwanted food being cooked, inconsistently tolerates unwanted food on his (divided) plate, and inconsistently tastes things.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm going to go look for a highchair that can fit him at salvation army. This is honestly one of the reasons he gets disability; i should be able to get him a seat that provides for his needs, but he gets such a pathetic amount that it's almost pointless.

[Liz CA]

I may be completely off here...but he sounds like he is begging for some structure by acting out.

What would happen if you had more structured meal times, he would lose privileges for sneaking food (treat it like a discipline issue more so than a food issue) and he had a limited choice of food but definitely some choice so he can learn decision making?

 

I can hear from your post that you are exhausted over this not to mention the extra expenses when food is stolen. I would not worry too much if he does not eat - he controls you this way and I suspect he knows you get very worried when he refuses food. A healthy child will likely not come to harm by missing a few meals. Can you bring yourself to respond without emotion, for example: "Johnny are you not eating any of the food? Okay, then we move on to the next step of our day."

If he does not eat lunch or dinner either, same procedure.

 

Eventually he will get hungry and the choices you put before him will hopefully start to look better to him.

You mentioned he lost weight. A few pounds will not kill him. However, if he goes to an alarming level of self-destruction, I would consult a behavioral therapist.

[*Michelle*]

If you can't lock your cabinets, how about getting a lockable foot locker to put the bulk of your groceries in, then just put the days portions in the cabinet?

 

I can understand the grazing behavior. It's common when kids have other things going on and can be beyond a simple discipline issue. The place to enforce, I believe, would be not allowing him to wander off with the food. He can eat from a platter or basket you set out at the table, but the food can't leave the area. If he wants to grab a bite every ten minutes, that's fine, but he can't walk off and then leave it half-eaten somewhere.

 

Where do you spend most of your day? If it's in the kitchen, put his portions there. If not, put them where you will be, not where you can't keep tabs.

[Wabi Sabi]

Things like this are a dime a dozen on Craigslist and you won't have to drill into your landlord's cabinets:

 

 

As for locks on the refrigerator, again, if you don't want to damage your landlord's appliances then buy one of your own. Money is tight, I get that, but once again you could find a spare refrigerator on Craigslist for very little (I just bought one for $50.) Put a lock on your spare refrigerator and secure the food, then you can use the landlord's refrigerator for setting out one day's worth of food at a time. Also, you don't have to have a side by side refrigerator to keep it locked, FWIW. There are many types of locks available such as this:

 

[Haiku]

My son also struggles with food issues. In his case, it's due to malnourishment and hunger in the orphanage before he came to us. He will eat an entire bag of almonds in one sitting. Or an entire bunch of bananas. Or an entire box of cereal. On multiple occasions he has eaten so much that he has thrown up. Minutes later her returns and claims he is hungry.

 

Food issues are so difficult because they are so emotional. I don't believe that food issues are a discipline issue. I think that they can be addressed with a plan of action, but I don't believe that they are a "You are not doing what I said so here are the consequences" situation.

 

We have not, unfortunately, solved my son's issues. All the things I have read in the adoption literature have not worked. I have no advice, but I do have :grouphug: and commiseration because I know how frustrating it is. I guess that all I can say is that we have learned that punishment doesn't work.

 

Tara

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I may be completely off here...but he sounds like he is begging for some structure by acting out.

What would happen if you had more structured meal times, he would lose privileges for sneaking food (treat it like a discipline issue more so than a food issue) and he had a limited choice of food but definitely some choice so he can learn decision making?

 

I can hear from your post that you are exhausted over this not to mention the extra expenses when food is stolen. I would not worry too much if he does not eat - he controls you this way and I suspect he knows you get very worried when he refuses food. A healthy child will likely not come to harm by missing a few meals. Can you bring yourself to respond without emotion, for example: "Johnny are you not eating any of the food? Okay, then we move on to the next step of our day."

If he does not eat lunch or dinner either, same procedure.

 

Eventually he will get hungry and the choices you put before him will hopefully start to look better to him.

You mentioned he lost weight. A few pounds will not kill him. However, if he goes to an alarming level of self-destruction, I would consult a behavioral therapist.

 

He HAS lost an unsafe amount of weight, which is where this all started. Dd compares the 2 of them to a cat and dog. Ds is a cat who would starve himself to death if there is nothing he likes. Dd would never, ever starve herself; not only does she get ever morsel of food off her plate, she also tries to lick it clean AND eat ds's leftovers. She has never been restricted from food in an abusive or neglectful way. Yes i have told her that enough is enough, and her eating habits did change after going to school.

 

I agree with the structure. I have a problem carrying it out; On wednesday i made a roast for dinner. Ds helped prepare at 9 that morning, and it was the first "real meal" he's eated in a loooong time. None of the meal was labor intensive so i was never confined to the kitchen unable to address other issues (him hitting dd, slamming the fridge in frustration, etc).

 

I cant do this every single day, and many things do require my full attention to cook. I really, really want to do something like once a month cooking, or even once a week. I dont know how easy it'll be with gluten and eventually dairy free. I also have no way to cook that much in advance. Ds would never "allow it," behaviorally. I also cant afford to buy things that far ahead to stock meals, nor do i have the freezer space or containers to cook too far ahead. This is something i must work on.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Things like this are a dime a dozen on Craigslist and you won't have to drill into your landlord's cabinets:

 

 

As for locks on the refrigerator, again, if you don't want to damage your landlord's appliances then buy one of your own. Money is tight, I get that, but once again you could find a spare refrigerator on Craigslist for very little (I just bought one for $50.) Put a lock on your spare refrigerator and secure the food, then you can use the landlord's refrigerator for setting out one day's worth of food at a time. Also, you don't have to have a side by side refrigerator to keep it locked, FWIW. There are many types of locks available such as this:

 

 

I cannot tell you the amount of searching i've done on locking things (when i was unsure how functional ds would be) and i have never come across that fridge lock!

 

I do not have the money or space for a different fridge, but i can ask my LL if her husband can help me. Sometimes having the husband "help" with ideas, i can bypass her crazy nature to not allow anything. She knew when we moved in that the kids had special needs.

 

I do not allow him to walk around with food. All food must be eaten in the dining room, so the unfinished stuff i find is on the table. I dont know how i was able to "put my foot down" on the food staying in the dining room, but am not able to do that for other issues. This is part of why i go so crazy.

 

I did just notice that he still stuffs his mouth. He takes huge bites of things but if its tougher to chew, like meats, he'll spit it out. We were working on this issue starting with his yogurts. He has to use a baby spoon to eat yogurt so he cant shovel so much. But he would freak out if i sat with him and limited other things (like cutting up a bagel into normal pieces).

 

The restraint works a bit for him for many sitting activities. Maybe it just takes away his choice of getting up, or maybe sensory.

 

I do alter little things for him. For example, he no longer likes scrambled eggs but will eat an egg pancake (basically an omelet but with only egg, and not folded).

[Parrothead]

I don't believe that food issues are a discipline issue.

Just to be clear since I was the one to first bring up the discipline I was not referring to disciplining for not eating or eating too much.

 

What I was referring to is gaining the self discipline to sit at the table and eat until no more food is wanted. Not what OP described as her ds's current way of eating a bit then getting up and coming back later to eat another bit.

 

And along those lines of learning to not eat every single thing at one sitting. And not doing whatever it is he does when OP cooks something he doesn't like. If 2/3 of the family like onions then her ds needs to learn that it is okay for someone to cook onions but he does not need to eat them. That is the kind of discipline I was referring to.

 

Discipline is learning to control inappropriate behaviors. If discipline is related to food it would be learning to chew with one's mouth closed or things of that nature.

 

Also I don't feel that punishment should ever involve food.

[Parrothead]

 

I agree with the structure. I have a problem carrying it out; On wednesday i made a roast for dinner. Ds helped prepare at 9 that morning, and it was the first "real meal" he's eated in a loooong time. None of the meal was labor intensive so i was never confined to the kitchen unable to address other issues (him hitting dd, slamming the fridge in frustration, etc).

 

I cant do this every single day, and many things do require my full attention to cook. I really, really want to do something like once a month cooking, or even once a week. I dont know how easy it'll be with gluten and eventually dairy free. I also have no way to cook that much in advance. Ds would never "allow it," behaviorally. I also cant afford to buy things that far ahead to stock meals, nor do i have the freezer space or containers to cook too far ahead. This is something i must work on.

So much of it sounds sensory.

 

What do you think would happen if he were allowed to prepare his own food? Maybe if you get the stuff stored and secured then presented him with X and X for breakfast. Give lessons on safe kitchen skills and as much help as he will tolerate. Then just let him go at it. He can make his own toast with peanut butter (or whatever he eats). Then do the same at lunch and dinner. Perhaps eventually he could be in charge of all meals. That gives him the control he is looking for and gives you a break from cooking.

 

That may take care of the eating issue then you'd, of course, have to work on the sitting.

[butterflymommy]

I stopped doing meals a long time ago-- everything is continental/ self serve and I always have stuff that can be warmed up or easily prepared. So the kids and I graze all day.

 

However, we have very strict no wasting rules. If one of my kids routinely left half a sandwich on a plate he'd be banned from sandwiches for a while. If they don't drink something they pour for themselves, then they're only allowed water for the rest of the day as a beverage. They cannot take a new food until the last food is eaten (I sometimes let it slide if it's something I wanted to get rid of anyway, like leftovers).

 

For example... today the following are available to eat (everything homemade): waffles, brown rice, oatmeal, cookies, pizza dough that can be requested to be made, fruit, broccoli, broccoli soup, eggplant, chicken broth, beans, romaine. So the kids take what they want when they feel like eating, serve themselves, and as long as they follow the no wasting rule, I don't control it.

[EKS]

Here's a refrigerator lock: http://www.computersecurity.com/other/refrigerator_lock.htm?linkpla=19932179660&gclid=CIOYl4Hg2LICFURxQgodmgQAmg

[EKS]

It *is* a discipline issue, but we need food to live. If i say no to electronics, i just hide them. No guilt about saying no. But with food, it's different on my part.

 

 

You can say no to food as well. He is not entitled to eat 100 bananas just because he wants to. He is not entitled to eat at any time just because he wants to. It's ok to have rules surrounding food.

 

For example, my kids make their own breakfasts and lunches, but if they want to eat something that is outside of the designated breakfast or lunch items, they need to ask. They also need to ask if they want to eat more than what is typical for them. This isn't because I'm being a control freak or trying to restrict their diets; it's because I need to be sure I have enough of certain things to last the week or because I might have plans for a particular item.

[Plucky]

Is he overweight? More than just the roll in the middle so many boys get before they grow a foot. He may very well need every single calorie. I'd make sure there are things he can eat every day at any time that aren't off limits if he is of a healthy weight.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Letting him graze and/or prepare stuff is where we are. He wants instant everything (which i do realize to be related to sensory and messed up hunger signals). For example, he decides on a pb&j for breakfast, he'll eat it, but then he wants whatever the other option was, like an egg pancake. I sound like i'm contradicting everything i say, but it's really hard to explaIn.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

He is very far from overweight. I'm going to switch to the computer for pics and because my phone keeps messing up.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Computer will not boot :( .

 

We had a handful of books that were very overdue, and our library has fine-free fridays, so we had no choice but to go today. First he got mad and said he wanted to stay home and watch a movie, then he wanted to stay home to take a nap, then he starts yelling that he's hungry and that he'd only eaten a bagel all day (he forgot to mention the 2 other bagels, baby food, bacon, and greek yogurt). It was only noon, but he has been up since 6.

 

I can never keep up with his demand and he just will not eat if it's not to his liking. When i get gluten free bagels, he eats them just as quick.

 

Ds said he wants a highchair, so i'll work on his chair today. Weights do not help, but pressure does. I have a pressure vest, but he doesn't like the way it sits on his neck.

 

I think i'll lock the fridge and figure out how to secure cabinet food and set food times. I will leave out a reasonable amount of food from x time until x time, and he can either graze or inhale it all, but no more food until the next meal/snack time. I'll give this maybe a week, then i'll require tush on chair during meals.

[Amy in NH]

To be perfectly honest it sounds like a discipline issue rather than an issue with food. Or maybe a bit of both.

 

How do you get him to self discipline in other areas? That will probably have to follow through to the area of food as well.

 

When you say that "no" doesn't work, what do you do that does work? Can you bring that to food as well?

 

Have you just tried not buying dairy products? Wheat products? Can you put a lock on the fridge so he can't get in at odd times of the day? What about locks on cabinets?

 

Personally I think I'd really work on the sitting at the table thing. It is some thing that is expected of society at large so it will be something he has to learn to do at some point.

 

Does he have sensory problems with meat? Perhaps alternate forms of protein would be helpful. Beans will feel more like grains in the mouth. Quinoa and rice possibly instead of wheat.

 

:iagree:100%

 

Sit down and eat regular meals with him 3x/day, leave snacks that he is allowed to have out where he can get them and lock up the rest.

[*Michelle*]

Ds said he wants a highchair, so i'll work on his chair today.

 

Can you do a sturdy booster seat?

[Impish]

Sounds like you need to figure out what's a discipline issue, and what's a sensory issue, and go from there.

 

I don't understand, if he's eating such quantities, how he's not making himself sick.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Sounds like you need to figure out what's a discipline issue, and what's a sensory issue, and go from there.

 

I don't understand, if he's eating such quantities, how he's not making himself sick.

 

Feel free to come on over and guide the first! Lol. Even his OT has been confused. If you cut a normal sized bagel into 4 pieces, that's what he normally shoves in his mouth. He does the same with most foods.

 

On the second, i just have no clue. I dont know where the food goes. He's not so little that i would think he's not absorbing it.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I attached 2 pics just to give you an idea of how not overweight he is. I have no way of cropping on this computer. Please don't quote and I will delete the near tush pic in a little while.

 

I'm rereading everything you guys said, thank you very much! I'm going to call the LL tomorrow and ask if I do the locks (well, ask her husband, suggest the lock, have him install. LOL).

[amo_mea_filiis.]

The OT has tried making it fit better, but it needs to altered. I cant sew well enough to do it. I could take him to the tailor shop and see if they can do it.