Don't let them suck me back in!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Until a few days before my first son was born, I worked as the office manager/bookkeeper/human resources dept. at the law firm where my husband is an attorney. I left almost 10 years ago, and since then, there have been several different office managers. It was a very busy and demanding job, but I did love it while I was there, for the most part.

 

Well, at the beginning of the summer, for some reason unknown to me, they fired the office manager who had held the job for several years. Then, they hired a person who only had experience in human resources, and dumped her in the job with no training whatsoever. When dh told me this, I said, "Wanna take bets on how long she stays?" Well, apparently she gave her two weeks notice, and they don't have anyone to replace her.

 

Soooooo, the boss calls me and asks if I can "help out" until they find someone else. He's thinking 3 days a week for a few weeks until they can hire someone. He told me not to do too good of a job or they wouldn't let me go. I said yes, because we could really use the extra money, and because without someone doing the payroll, dh won't get a check. :tongue_smilie:

The kids can hang in dh's office and do school work, play their DS's, and watch videos, so that's not a problem.

 

The thing is, which I told my husband repeatedly- they had better be looking for someone else. This is only a temporary gig for me to help them out. If they are not actively looking for someone, I will have a fit. I know them. They will think they can cajole me into taking the job again. I tried to quit a few times when I worked there before (for different reasons each time), but then they would raise my salary, pay my car payment, or some other perk that would make it worthwhile to stay. They are insidious that way! :D

 

The job is an immense job. When I worked there before, I sometimes worked 50-60 hours a week, which is okay with no kiddos, but I need to homeschool. This ain't gonna work if they don't hire someone new very soon.

[fraidycat]

Stay strong. Tell them you will only come back for X amount of weeks before you even start. "My end date is XX-XX-2012. I will train someone new before that time, so if you need training help you need to have a new hire by XX-XX-2012".

 

Enjoy the extra paycheck. ;)

[Scarlett]

I declare this a high class problem.

[LibraryLover]

I'd do that in a heartbeat. Your kids are babies.

 

You and dh can figure something out wrt hsing.

 

I can't see a downside.

 

We are lucky to have first world problems. :)

 

I am not saying it will be easy-peasy, but I would do it under the circumstances you've described.

Edited September 28, 2012 by LibraryLover

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'd do that in a heartbeat.

 

I can't see a downside.

 

Yanno, first world problems we are lucky to have. :)

 

You don't see a downside to working 50-60 hours a week and trying to homeschool a 3rd and 4th grader?

 

And would it make a difference if I told you dh was a worker's comp lawyer who represents injured workers, so he doesn't make a gazillion dollars a year?

 

I really don't understand the "high class" and "first world" comments. We are struggling to get by like many families these days. I've made sacrifices to be able to stay home with my kids and provide them with a decent education.

Edited September 28, 2012 by thescrappyhomeschooler

[runbikeswim]

I would def. put a time limit on it and then realize that you might have to extend the school year a month into the summer to make up for time lost.

 

The extra money will be nice but it certainly doesn't seem doable for more than a few weeks.

[SonshineLearner]

Gosh... I think I'd be happy for a stint :) I could hire some decent help for that money :)

 

(I just think people are saying that they would be happy for the chance :) It's not making fun of you or anything! :) It's just saying how we can all imagine how nice a few extra paychecks would be!!! And, that schooling can still happen....)

[CyndiLJ]

Many people make assumptions about career choices and incomes. The word "lawyer" means "money" in the eyes of many. Yes, we may all be lucky enough to have "First world problems", and some might discount them, but frankly just about anyone who lives in America and can even make a choice about staying home to homeschool has "first world problems" compared to families living in a kind of poverty we can't begin to fathom. Indeed, we all know we are blessed to have such dilemmas, however, we shouldn't discount the caring heart of a mom who is truly struggling to discern what is wisest for her family. And yes, I do know there are many on the boards who are perhaps much worse off and trying desperately to remain home so they can homeschool. That still doesn't negate your personal situation.

 

I see your dilemma clearly...it WOULD be easy to find yourself enticed by the extra money, the accolades that you know would come your way for being the best person for the job who they just can't live without, and the impossibility of trying to homeschool and get much accomplished in that area while working a lot and likely feeling the pressure to work even more than they are requesting right now if you get in the position and see a lot that needs to be done. Responsible people are like that :001_smile:

 

I think you have received a good suggestion here, go into this with a firm commitment offered of exactly how long you will be able to assist them, including a date which will be your last day. This will set healthy boundaries for both your employer AND you, keeping you from any hint of temptation which might arise once that money starts coming in and you can enjoy having a little extra.

 

Do it and enjoy it, knowing it is short term. Sock a little extra away for a fun rainy day, or pay off an extra bill or two faster than usual. Then come back home knowing you were able to temporarily contribute in a financial way to your family, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done and temptation not succumbed to!

 

Cindy

[LibraryLover]

You don't see a downside to working 50-60 hours a week and trying to homeschool a 3rd and 4th grader?

 

And would it make a difference if I told you dh was a worker's comp lawyer who represents injured workers, so he doesn't make a gazillion dollars a year?

 

I really don't understand the "high class" and "first world" comments. We are struggling to get by like many families these days. I've made sacrifices to be able to stay home with my kids and provide them with a decent education.

 

 

Then don't do it.

 

If you can't, you can't.

 

Do what you need to do. I don't know you, the needs of your children, or what resources you have available.

 

I didn't realize you'd already decided against it before you posted.

[Hannah]

I think you need to be extremely clear up front what 3 days a week means. 24 hours of your time per week. That's it. Do not take work home or do more. So, you can do less than half of what you used to do when you had a 50 hour week and they will not have exactly what they had before.

 

There are things in the office that HAVE to be done (the payroll!) and essential bookkeeping, but other things are 'nice to have'. Nice looking reports for example - do not do for managers what they could with a small amount of effort learn to do for themselves; or live without. And you'll have to lower your own standards too!!

 

Negotiate up-front what you're going to do, and what not. Be strict about not taking on more than you agreed.

I agree with previous posters to negotiate a very specific end-date.

 

For the kids I'd get audiobooks and educational dvd's and other things they can do on their own that still count towards schoolwork, so that you don't feel that the time is completely wasted.

 

You also need to set boundaries with the children. Set a schedule where you spend 10 minutes every hour with them (or whatever suits you) and they know not to interrupt you while you're busy.

 

I work 25 hours per week and we have an child minder who does a lot of the schoolwork with my girls. She's been with us for seven years now, so we're in a good groove.

Dh and I always teach math, but the rest of the subjects depend on where I think our input is needed.

We've had to choose curriculum that are more independant than they would have been if I was teaching more, but it has worked well for us.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

 

I see your dilemma clearly...it WOULD be easy to find yourself enticed by the extra money, the accolades that you know would come your way for being the best person for the job who they just can't live without, and the impossibility of trying to homeschool and get much accomplished in that area while working a lot and likely feeling the pressure to work even more than they are requesting right now if you get in the position and see a lot that needs to be done. Responsible people are like

 

Yes. Thank you. This is exactly my dilemma.

 

 

There are things in the office that HAVE to be done (the payroll!) and essential bookkeeping, but other things are 'nice to have'. Nice looking reports for example - do not do for managers what they could with a small amount of effort learn to do for themselves; or live without. And you'll have to lower your own standards too!!

 

This is what I'm going to have to do. I'll have to do payroll and month end stuff (which meant reconciling 12 accounts when I was last there) and I'll have to do all the checks for the clients and case expenses, and do the deposits, and pay bills. The reports aren't going to happen.

 

Thanks to everyone who suggested giving a definite end date. I will certainly do that.

[Hannah]

This is what I'm going to have to do. I'll have to do payroll and month end stuff (which meant reconciling 12 accounts when I was last there) and I'll have to do all the checks for the clients and case expenses, and do the deposits, and pay bills. The reports aren't going to happen.

 

Its great that you have experience of the workload is likely going to be, so that you can negotiate upfront. Have that meeting with the boss BEFORE you start working. Set boundaries about what you're going to do for them (in writing) and then be VERY firm about sticking to it. I usually use the "if you'd like me to add this then we have to agree on what I can drop or delay" tactic.

 

Also think about your hours. I don't know about your travel arrangements, but it may be better to do school every morning and then drive to the office daily rather than going for three whole days.

Or to go in for three afternoons to have facetime with whoever you need to see, but then send the kids home with dh and work quietly on your own in the evening if that's more efficient.

 

They have asked for you and need you, so the negotiating power lies with you.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Hannah
grammar

[mirth]

I can't imagine my kids being relatively quiet in their dad's office for 6-8 hours a day. So for that reason alone, I couldn't do it.

 

But if you take the job, can you just ask them to find a replacement by the time 3/4 of your contract is over so that you can train this person (and the same situation will not arise again)?

[Renthead Mommy]

Having two kids sitting around in the office three days a week may make you less desirable this time around. The longer you are there, the more bored your kids will get.

 

You know that saying how othere peoples kids are the best kind of birth control before you have your own? Well this is sort of the same thing.

 

Check on their hiring progress often. If it seems they are not moving fast enough besure to check in again, but besure the whinier, more bored kid is with you while checking. Next checking have both kids standing there while checking progress.

 

I have worked in places that like. I understand exactly what you mean by pulling you in and not letting you go. A physical ( fidgity, whining, possibly sticky) reminder that this is a temporary thing may be exactly what you need.

[mumto2]

I am not saying this to be difficult at all. I know you do not want to return to to work-- I don't either. But like others have pointed out extra money is always good. Would it be possible to become the department head working one day a week-- trouble shooting from home no more then one hour a day? Your payroll situation requires an accounting clerk imo, not a human resources person necessarily. If they hired an assistant for you would it work with your life?

 

My best home ed friend does something very similar to this. She is home eding 4 with abroad age range. Her dh works from home on her office day--since you both work in the same place.......it is a real winner for everyone there. Her employer has someone with almost 30 years of knowledge coordinating a rather difficult area. She loves Mondays, fun and different. Not mommy that day but her old self. As you can tell I am a bit envious at times.

[Cera]

Maybe you could work as the office manager and they could find you an assistant. Then you would have the benefits of working without the 50-60 hour week and they would get someone who does the job well.

[Twilight Woods]

Maybe you could work as the office manager and they could find you an assistant. Then you would have the benefits of working without the 50-60 hour week and they would get someone who does the job well.

 

I agree. YOU can do that work from home. There is software availabe you can "remote" in to their system. They can keep you :D and get an in office assistant to help with projects.

 

win-win for everyone.

[Susann]

Stay strong. Tell them you will only come back for X amount of weeks before you even start. "My end date is XX-XX-2012. I will train someone new before that time, so if you need training help you need to have a new hire by XX-XX-2012".

 

Enjoy the extra paycheck. ;)

:iagree: Stay strong! Your first priority is to your family and homeschooling. I don't see how your family wouldn't fall apart after continuing this schedule for very long. While it's fun to hang out in Daddy's office in the beginning that won't last long for the kiddos and the coworkers.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Maybe you could work as the office manager and they could find you an assistant. Then you would have the benefits of working without the 50-60 hour week and they would get someone who does the job well.

 

The job already has an assistant. It's a fairly large office, and checks really need to be written and disbursed every day. Sometimes there are disputes about the amounts of checks, and they need to redone immediately. Deposits really need to be done every day, too. The bookkeeper needs to be there in person to do this. I don't know how it's going to go with me there only 3 days.

 

On top of the mounds of bookkeeping duty, this position is really the office manager- handles all building maintenance, handles all issues with the other attorneys who rent space from the firm, handles all office supplies and machines, hires and oversees certain support staff, etc.

 

This position also does the human resources aspects, like handling health care enrollment, the cafeteria plan, etc.

 

This position really needs to be available in person every day. It is not just a simple bookkeeping job that could be done from home.

 

The firm is not doing well because the economy has affected their business in several ways. Dh's pay has been at 60% of normal for well over a year now. I wouldn't be rolling in the dough by doing this job. The reason they called me is that they know I'll work cheaper than a temp they could hire. The few extra bucks would mean I could finally get my toilet and broken light switch fixed, not anything fun or fancy.

[Scarlett]

The firm is not doing well because the economy has affected their business in several ways. Dh's pay has been at 60% of normal for well over a year now. I wouldn't be rolling in the dough by doing this job. The reason they called me is that they know I'll work cheaper than a temp they could hire. The few extra bucks would mean I could finally get my toilet and broken light switch fixed, not anything fun or fancy.

 

I think my comment about it being a high class problem was misunderstood....I didn't assume you are rolling in the dough, or that you are rich because you dh is an attorney. My comment had to do with the fact that your 'problem' is whether or not to accept a 1)temp job that 2)you already know how to do3)at your dh's firm 4) that will pay you money you need.

 

So yes, while I get that it might be a rough time while you temporarily have more on your plate than you can do long term, it is a 'good' problem to have, no?

 

I would take it and back burner some of the school while you take advantage of making some needed cash.

[SonshineLearner]

The job already has an assistant. It's a fairly large office, and checks really need to be written and disbursed every day. Sometimes there are disputes about the amounts of checks, and they need to redone immediately. Deposits really need to be done every day, too. The bookkeeper needs to be there in person to do this. I don't know how it's going to go with me there only 3 days.

 

On top of the mounds of bookkeeping duty, this position is really the office manager- handles all building maintenance, handles all issues with the other attorneys who rent space from the firm, handles all office supplies and machines, hires and oversees certain support staff, etc.

 

This position also does the human resources aspects, like handling health care enrollment, the cafeteria plan, etc.

 

This position really needs to be available in person every day. It is not just a simple bookkeeping job that could be done from home.

 

The firm is not doing well because the economy has affected their business in several ways. Dh's pay has been at 60% of normal for well over a year now. I wouldn't be rolling in the dough by doing this job. The reason they called me is that they know I'll work cheaper than a temp they could hire. The few extra bucks would mean I could finally get my toilet and broken light switch fixed, not anything fun or fancy.

 

Not sure if this would work, but checks can be printed from your computer to their printer and signed by someone there. Answers can be sometimes given using Skype or similar. You could run over during lunch, or right before to fix anything... Just a thought :)

[PeterPan]

The reason they called me is that they know I'll work cheaper than a temp they could hire. The few extra bucks would mean I could finally get my toilet and broken light switch fixed, not anything fun or fancy.

 

Then don't work cheaper than a temp. ;) They're not motivated to hire someone else, and you need money. You're more qualified than the temp, and your time is even more valuable than it used to be.

 

Have they paused to wonder why your kids should be stuck in an office playing DS and piddling all day when they could be having their lives? I did some tutoring last year for a friend, and as much as I *liked* doing it, the reality was it wasn't worth having my kids lose the interaction they deserve. If they aren't willing to pay you at least what they'd pay the temp, I'd tell 'em to jump. It's the owner's problem.