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I think probably I'm just not meant to have counseling help.


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I tried one counselor, went for two visits, and was so creeped out by her obvious angling about repressed memories of molestation (which I don't have!) that I just couldn't go back.

 

Found a counselor that dh and I both found very helpful. We saw him together for about 3 months, and then came to the conclusion that we probably didn't need more counseling as a couple, at least right now.

 

I left a message for that counselor, asking if he had a recommendation of someone that I could see on my own, since it was pretty obvious that I was still very devastated about a difficult personal situation. There was never any reply to my question.

 

So...

I called a local counseling center, and left a message on their machine asking for help. I called on a Thursday, and I think it was on Wednesday of the *next* week that my call was returned. The counselor asked me briefly about my problem, and said that she would pass my number on to one of the counselors in the group, who would call back the next day. It's been about a week now. No call. :confused:

 

I'm doing better. I'm no longer feeling the pull towards self-destructive things that seemed almost irresistible before. I usually only cry once a day or so, and there are even short times now when I forget the tough stuff for just a moment. I think I'll maybe eventually be ok. My dh is helping me in every way that he's capable of, and in some ways that he and I both never imagined he'd be able to.

 

Still, I'm facing some really hard stuff. I'm working a new full-time job in addition to my part-time job, homeschooling two high schoolers, and trying to keep up with all of the things at home.

 

Am I just not meant to get counseling? Is the message to me supposed to be that I'll get better on my own, and just to hold steady until I do? I never knew it would be this difficult to get help. I have the money. I can make the time. What I cannot seem to do is get reasonably prompt call-backs, or even any response at all. :confused:

 

Anyway...I'm just rambling on. Am I the only one who's had this type of trouble? :001_huh:

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I'm sorry you are having trouble getting someone to call you back but I wouldn't chalk that up to not needing help. It's also wonderful you are feeling somewhat better. Good for you for dumping the one trying to get you to make things up! It's hard to be assertive and find the right person. :grouphug: If you feel you could still use some counseling I would call that group back.

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:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am so sorry that you are having so many difficulties all at once. It seems like a heavy burden is placed on your shoulders.

 

Without knowing exactly where you are in CA, I would suggest you try calling here and see if they can refer you to someone close by. I LOVE this radio show and I think they are very, very wise.

 

http://newlife.com/counselors

 

I am pulling for you and your family!

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Julie:

 

While it seems eons to you, calls should eventually get returned. I don't think you should quit when you realize that you could benefit from more help.

 

I am so glad to hear you are doing better. It takes time and days drag by when you are in the thick of it.

 

Give a counselor a chance, try again, please.

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It can be so difficult to find a counselor that you mesh with, and who is accepting new clients! We've had experience with one who is wonderful but very, very busy. We had to make appointments several weeks in advance--I think even sometimes a couple of months out.

 

I would definitely not take this as a sign you aren't meant to see a counselor. I would keep trying to find someone. It can be so beneficial when you meet with the right person.

 

:grouphug:

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I have had an awful time here getting any type of mental health professional to reply back. THis is for my dd, not me but I couldn't get psychiatrists or psychologists or mental health therapists. I finally went with one her adolescent specialist doctor recommended who isn't in our insurance plan. As it turned out, I only paid $6 more anyway. She has a staff and is with a group practice and they have their act together.

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In my experience (personally and with others in my family), it is not a sign that you are not to get counseling......there has been for years and clearly still is a shortage of counselors in comparison to the number of people who would like counseling.

 

When I found myself in a situation that on the surface sounds similar to what you described in your post (vague yet they sound similar), I went to my family practice doctor and we spoke. I knew I was depressed and we tried some meds....which have worked.

 

You can pm me or message me on FB.

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You *got* counseling (with DH) and it worked well. :):grouphug:

 

I would not read too much into the call/no call pattern in terms of whether you should get individual mental health support. Don't take it personally, and don't assume too much about the professionals involved.

 

Call back; you deserve it. :grouphug:

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I really don't want to make a nuisance out of myself.

It goes against my nature to be persistent about things that are just for myself, especially when I know I could tough it out.

Somehow it seems selfish in a way I just can't do (Yeah, I know...:blushing: probably another reason I should just go anyway, right?).

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Hm. It's not selfish. When you are feeling better, you will do a better job doing all the things you have to do, including being there for your family & friends. Can you see it like that?

 

If you can't... then the other way of looking at it is that you've earned the right to be a little selfish, and I think you should make all the nuisance of yourself that you like. :grouphug:

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Several years ago, I had a similar situation. The one call back I got was SO standoffish I really did not want to meet/talk to her. It can be tough. The second counselor, a couple years later, I went through a counselor with a practice. I find it much more reassuring...

 

Good luck, :grouphug: and keep trying! You are worth it. :)

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I really don't want to make a nuisance out of myself.

It goes against my nature to be persistent about things that are just for myself, especially when I know I could tough it out.

Somehow it seems selfish in a way I just can't do (Yeah, I know...:blushing: probably another reason I should just go anyway, right?).

 

Then you may find it a liberating experience. ;)

 

Keep trying until you find one. Perhaps your calls aren't getting returned because the counsellor you are destined to see is out of state this week, which can't be a reflection on you. :tongue_smilie:

 

:grouphug:

Rosie

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