Julie in CA Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I tried one counselor, went for two visits, and was so creeped out by her obvious angling about repressed memories of molestation (which I don't have!) that I just couldn't go back. Found a counselor that dh and I both found very helpful. We saw him together for about 3 months, and then came to the conclusion that we probably didn't need more counseling as a couple, at least right now. I left a message for that counselor, asking if he had a recommendation of someone that I could see on my own, since it was pretty obvious that I was still very devastated about a difficult personal situation. There was never any reply to my question. So... I called a local counseling center, and left a message on their machine asking for help. I called on a Thursday, and I think it was on Wednesday of the *next* week that my call was returned. The counselor asked me briefly about my problem, and said that she would pass my number on to one of the counselors in the group, who would call back the next day. It's been about a week now. No call. :confused: I'm doing better. I'm no longer feeling the pull towards self-destructive things that seemed almost irresistible before. I usually only cry once a day or so, and there are even short times now when I forget the tough stuff for just a moment. I think I'll maybe eventually be ok. My dh is helping me in every way that he's capable of, and in some ways that he and I both never imagined he'd be able to. Still, I'm facing some really hard stuff. I'm working a new full-time job in addition to my part-time job, homeschooling two high schoolers, and trying to keep up with all of the things at home. Am I just not meant to get counseling? Is the message to me supposed to be that I'll get better on my own, and just to hold steady until I do? I never knew it would be this difficult to get help. I have the money. I can make the time. What I cannot seem to do is get reasonably prompt call-backs, or even any response at all. :confused: Anyway...I'm just rambling on. Am I the only one who's had this type of trouble? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug: I'd call the good counselor back. IME, It's not uncommon for medical professionals to be awful at returning calls. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug: I'd call the good counselor back. IME, It's not uncommon for medical professionals to be awful at returning calls. :grouphug::grouphug: I agree. Or look for another. Counselors are all so different. It can be a pain to find a good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I'm sorry you are having trouble getting someone to call you back but I wouldn't chalk that up to not needing help. It's also wonderful you are feeling somewhat better. Good for you for dumping the one trying to get you to make things up! It's hard to be assertive and find the right person. :grouphug: If you feel you could still use some counseling I would call that group back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry that you are having so many difficulties all at once. It seems like a heavy burden is placed on your shoulders. Without knowing exactly where you are in CA, I would suggest you try calling here and see if they can refer you to someone close by. I LOVE this radio show and I think they are very, very wise. http://newlife.com/counselors I am pulling for you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I contacted 6 counselors to try to get my son, who is showing OCD signs, help. Two replied. In short, I don't see the lack of response as a sign you aren't meant to have counseling or don't need it. I'm sorry you're hurting. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Julie: While it seems eons to you, calls should eventually get returned. I don't think you should quit when you realize that you could benefit from more help. I am so glad to hear you are doing better. It takes time and days drag by when you are in the thick of it. Give a counselor a chance, try again, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 While it seems eons to you, calls should eventually get returned. I dunno...how many weeks should one wait before trying something else? Two? Three? If I wait long enough, I'll probably soldier on as usual, regardless of whether I get help to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Call back the first person for a referral, call the group back, call anyone else you've heard good things about and see who has the first appt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I dunno...how many weeks should one wait before trying something else?Two? Three? If I wait long enough, I'll probably soldier on as usual, regardless of whether I get help to do it. Don't just wait--call them back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 It can be so difficult to find a counselor that you mesh with, and who is accepting new clients! We've had experience with one who is wonderful but very, very busy. We had to make appointments several weeks in advance--I think even sometimes a couple of months out. I would definitely not take this as a sign you aren't meant to see a counselor. I would keep trying to find someone. It can be so beneficial when you meet with the right person. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I have had an awful time here getting any type of mental health professional to reply back. THis is for my dd, not me but I couldn't get psychiatrists or psychologists or mental health therapists. I finally went with one her adolescent specialist doctor recommended who isn't in our insurance plan. As it turned out, I only paid $6 more anyway. She has a staff and is with a group practice and they have their act together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 In my experience (personally and with others in my family), it is not a sign that you are not to get counseling......there has been for years and clearly still is a shortage of counselors in comparison to the number of people who would like counseling. When I found myself in a situation that on the surface sounds similar to what you described in your post (vague yet they sound similar), I went to my family practice doctor and we spoke. I knew I was depressed and we tried some meds....which have worked. You can pm me or message me on FB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 You *got* counseling (with DH) and it worked well. :):grouphug: I would not read too much into the call/no call pattern in terms of whether you should get individual mental health support. Don't take it personally, and don't assume too much about the professionals involved. Call back; you deserve it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 It will do you good to see someone else, so keep trying! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Wow, that's hard :( You'll find the right one!! <Hugs>!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Jean, I think it would be superstitious to think that it's a sign. Keep calling and tell them "This is my second (or third call) and I have been waiting X days for a call back." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 If you needed an appt for a sick kid, you wouldn't wait for the mythical "call back" from the pedi or nurse, right? You'd keep calling until you got an appt. Fight just as hard for yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted September 28, 2012 Author Share Posted September 28, 2012 I really don't want to make a nuisance out of myself. It goes against my nature to be persistent about things that are just for myself, especially when I know I could tough it out. Somehow it seems selfish in a way I just can't do (Yeah, I know...:blushing: probably another reason I should just go anyway, right?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Hm. It's not selfish. When you are feeling better, you will do a better job doing all the things you have to do, including being there for your family & friends. Can you see it like that? If you can't... then the other way of looking at it is that you've earned the right to be a little selfish, and I think you should make all the nuisance of yourself that you like. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Several years ago, I had a similar situation. The one call back I got was SO standoffish I really did not want to meet/talk to her. It can be tough. The second counselor, a couple years later, I went through a counselor with a practice. I find it much more reassuring... Good luck, :grouphug: and keep trying! You are worth it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 If you needed an appt for a sick kid, you wouldn't wait for the mythical "call back" from the pedi or nurse, right? You'd keep calling until you got an appt. Fight just as hard for yourself! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I really don't want to make a nuisance out of myself.It goes against my nature to be persistent about things that are just for myself, especially when I know I could tough it out. Somehow it seems selfish in a way I just can't do (Yeah, I know...:blushing: probably another reason I should just go anyway, right?). Then you may find it a liberating experience. ;) Keep trying until you find one. Perhaps your calls aren't getting returned because the counsellor you are destined to see is out of state this week, which can't be a reflection on you. :tongue_smilie: :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Am I just not meant to get counseling? Is the message to me supposed to be that I'll get better on my own, and just to hold steady until I do? There is no message. There are just some counselors who haven't returned calls. If you feel you need help, keep at them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.