Isabella Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here, but just need a perspective. So..nephew - DN-(17.5yo) is staying with us for a month or two to work with my dh. The first day that he was here, he was introduced to my dd's friend - H- (who is 17.5yo, too). They hit it off, and started 'going out together'. They've been out a few times for lunch in town, otherwise, they see each other when H comes over on a Sunday afternoon to go to church with us. She usually stays from lunchtime to 3pm, church and travelling is from 3-6.30, then she stays till about 9pm. DN's parents are very conservative, and while we are reasonably conservative, too, I do think that giving reasonable freedoms is a good thing - for example: yes, they can be together in his room, as long as the door is open (my Dh is not big on this, though - he thinks no time in room together at all, but I told them they could before I realized dh thought this). I did mention this to SIL (DN's mum), and she seemed as though that was OK. I asked her if she would like us to mention anything else regarding boundaries, and she said she couldn't think of any - this is their first child, so no experience with this before. The other day, DN & H both played some board games with the family for a couple of hours, and then went to his room. Our DD's were in their rooms at the same time, which are right near his. After 20 mins or so, I called out to them that H needed to start heading for her home. No answer, after a couple of minutes, Dh called, and H emerged adjusting her top, and looking slightly red. She then went home. I'm just starting to wonder if we need to re-think the time in room, or just leave them to their own devices at their age. I don't think I'd like to mention too much to DN's mother, as that would make her worried, and it's only speculation on my part anyway that anything was happening. I also wonder if I need to say anything to either of them. H is quite indulged by her parents, and reasonably willful. I don't think they wouldn't really think to say too much. But she is very childlike in many ways, and respects our family a lot. Also she listens well to my DD. She has had several school boyfriends before. Dd suspects that H could be quite forward, more so than DN. DD has actually mentioned to H not to 'corrupt' DN! She said she can believe that H would actually put DN's hand on her b*east. DN (obviously 1st girlfriend) is very careful about things...eg: while travelling to church (they were in backseat), he put his arm around H, and she giggled and said he pulled her b*a strap down. He was very quick to apologize and say it was an accident, that he never meant to do that at all. This has turned into a novel, but maybe you all can give me an idea of what, if anything, to do. Thanks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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