summer Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 My sister has 2 children. She is a public school teacher. She is completely not getting it why this bothers me and is trying to turn it back on me. What is going on is I have invited her to things before and had her show up with her kids with their friends. For example, we had a birthday party for my son's 13th birthday. She knew about it way in advance. But on the day of, her daughter brought 2 friends. Then her daughter proceeded to spend her entire time with them and did not even speak to my son or me or any of us throughout all of this. To top it off, this particular neice is a big attention seeker so she and her 2 friends kept making up little shows and then telling the rest of us to be quiet so they could perform. Because this party was a family party, my son had not even invited his own friends. He did something separate with his friends. It really bothers me. Recently, my sister and I made plans to take our children swimming and to the movies. I had offered to treat. I was at the pool with the children when my sister stepped out to her car to get something. In walks a man with his daughter and informs me he will be back to pick her up after the movie! Ummm...I knew what my sister had done, but I seriously considered playing dumb and saying I have no clue who that girl is. But I knew the girl was no doubt a friend of my neices. I tried to back out of going to the movies (to my sister, not the man, I did not say anything to him). The swimming was bad enough as my neice immediately swam away from my sons who are close to her age (she is younger but I have younger sons and they all get along very well) and for the rest of the time, did not even speak to my son. At one point, her friend swam over to me and informed me she did not want my son in her half of the pool. My son was not even speaking to them! He was just hanging on the side watching (my son is speech delayed and is 6 and cannot swim well). I told the girl that this was not her own private pool so she needed to share. Then, I definitely did not want to go to the movies and pay for my sister and neices and their friend. This was supposed to be a something we did together. I could never ever imagine showing up invited to someones house or anywhere and just bringing along extra people without asking if it were okay first. SO..in trying to turn it around...my sister said she was going to invite me to a girls night out, but she is afraid I will be upset over the fact that there are other people there besides her and she will talk to them! Ok..so how dramatic is that? I have never complained about her or her children or anyone having relationships with other people. I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is having plans with someone and then showing up and she brings friends and such without mentioning it first or asking that lead to her children not even acknowledging mine. IF when we made plans she said "The girls were going to go swimming with a friend and were wondering if you wanted to join us" that would be completely different from me inviting them out and paying and having her bring friends. I am frustrated by this, and the fact that she just cannot seem to get what she is doing wrong. I tried to explain it to her just how I typed it in here, but she is still not getting it. She does not see any difference between making plans that include friends and just showing up with friends that had not been invited or discussed (especially when I am paying or it is my son's birthday party or it is my house, etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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