Why is 16 the magic age for dating?

[Trresh]

I've heard so many parents say that their children aren't allowed to date until they're 16. What's so freaking special about 16? I personally think it depends on the maturity level of each individual kid.

[Nakia]

I agree with you.

[swellmomma]

I saw 16 here, not because it is a magic age, but because I figure if a child is old enough to legally quit school, to get a license, to hold a fulltime job etc they are old enough to date. Yes maturity plays into it. But honestly if my 16 year old is not mature enough to date at 16, only 2 short year until legal adulthood, I am screwing up as a parent

[GailV]

Why is 16 the magic age for driving? Why is 21 the magic age for drinking? Why is 18 the magic age for being called an adult?

 

I don't think 16 is the magic age for all people, but it doesn't sound outrageous to me.

 

:iagree:

 

The list of magic ages is seemingly endless, isn't it? The age to start kindergarten, the age to potty train, the age to retire, the age to be U.S. president, the age to compete in the Olympics, age to rent a car, age to have a Facebook account ....

[4everHis]

My kids know that going on a date is something that comes with a show of responsibility and maturity. They also know the rule applies to driving a car. They will not be allowed to take out my vehicle if they haven't shown a certain level of responsibility and maturity. 16 is not the magic age for dating or driving here.

[BakersDozen]

But honestly if my 16 year old is not mature enough to date at 16, only 2 short year until legal adulthood, I am screwing up as a parent

Or perhaps that it has nothing to do with parenting but a lot to do with personality? Some 16yos are way more mature and ready for things such as dating than the next 16yo.

 

I always hated the age limit thing. My parents could not give a good reason for why we could date, wear makeup, etc. until a certain age so i determined to not do that to my own dc. For us, it is maturity and current focus/goals in life. My 16yod just yesterday shared with me a conversation she had with her friends (who are all allowed to date and are quite fascinated with my dd who has chosen not to): "It's not that I'm not allowed to date, it's that right now dating is not where I want my focus to be. I want to be friends with boys, not a girlfriend; I'm not ready to become an "item" to the possible exclusion of my friends and family. And I'm most definitely NOT ready to experience the drama and heartache I see happening when one is dating."

 

I wanted to clap and cheer and hug her right there in Albertson's. I didn't cheer, but I did hug her. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm sure that most parents do operate more in terms of what their particular child is ready for. But if you are projecting ahead in years to when you think something will be allowed, we often will pick an age when the majority of kids that age would be mature enough to handle the situation. So I wouldn't interpret people's remarks on things like that quite so literally.

[Wheres Toto]

To me, 16 is a good compromise between what I feel is too young and them being old enough to be out on their own. Most kids graduate high school and go off to college around 18 years old. At that point for many, the parental influence is a lot less. I liked my dd having a couple years to explore dating while she was still living at home, while I could still enforce a curfew, while I could help guide her through the pitfalls, while I could somewhat restrict her activities (no running away for the weekend with a 30 year old man). By the time she was 16, she was settled into high school, most of the hormonal craziness and ups-and-downs had passed, and I felt she had the maturity to handle it.

[Dmmetler]

It's also an age where it is theoretically possible that kids will be going places without an adult-which means that even if parents TRY to restrict dating, it's much harder to do so. It's better to have your child dating and letting you know where they're going and when than to have your child lying and saying they're going to the library to study when they're actually going on a date.

 

In my case, at 16, I was living on a college campus. It would have been hard for my parents to say "You're mature enough to participate in this college early-entry program and live on campus, but you can't go to the movies with guy who is in your class."

[Mrs Mungo]

Well, do you really want their first dating experiences to be off at college? They have to start sometime. Better to navigate that early stuff while still at home, imo.

 

eta: Not that I think it's a "magic age." My eldest had a "boyfriend" at 14. But, they weren't allowed to "date." They saw each other in group situations with parental chaperones.

[Excelsior! Academy]

:001_huh:

 

Maybe I was a late bloomer, but the craziness kinda started at that point for me. :D

 

I do agree with you in general though!

 

:iagree:

 

My crazy period started late 15 early 16. With a daughter now 15, it is very creepy looking back. I am glad she is much more mature than I at that age!

 

Didn't voting age come about during the last draft? People were old enough to be sent to war, yet not old enough to vote in or out the people sending them. I think the drinking ages were changed around the same time.

[Wheres Toto]

:001_huh:

 

Maybe I was a late bloomer, but the craziness kinda started at that point for me. :D

 

I do agree with you in general though!

 

:lol: I think my crazy time started around 11 and lasted until I was 19. I lucked out with my dd. She had some rough times when things started around 12 and 13 but by 16 she was dancing 4-5 days a week, working and keeping up with school and cheer. I think she was too busy to be hormonal by that point.

[Trish]

Think of it as an average. :)

[Guest reynolds12]

I completely agree with you on these. Maturity plays a big role in getting into a relation. It doesn't matter at all if you are 16 or 26 unless you are mature enough to date somebody.

[Danestress]

I think when you always use maturity of the individual child as the guide, you can end up feeling in a struggle with the child. How much maturity? Who decides? How strongly is the child motivated to lobby for the priviledge? How much pressure can a potential love interest put in them to push for recognition or maturity?

 

In a way, it is easier to tell a child, "you can do this when you are x age." With my kids, that would simplify matters and eliminate arguments. Maturity is something to argue about and get feelings hurt over. Age is just a fact.

[Jennifer3141]

I saw 16 here, not because it is a magic age, but because I figure if a child is old enough to legally quit school, to get a license, to hold a fulltime job etc they are old enough to date. Yes maturity plays into it. But honestly if my 16 year old is not mature enough to date at 16, only 2 short year until legal adulthood, I am screwing up as a parent

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Crimson Wife]

I think it's a throwback to when 16 was considered to be marriageable for a girl. "Sweet Sixteen" parties evolved from debutante balls, and when a girl was a debutante, she was old enough to be looking for a husband.

 

I definitely wouldn't want my girls engaged at 16, so that's why I wouldn't allow courting until after high school graduation.

[angela in ohio]

When we were younger, it was because it is the driving age, so you could go out alone together. My first HS boyfriend asked me out a few weeks after he got his license. I was a few months shy of the magic age, but my parents relented anyway. :D (I can't believe I started seriously dating at 15 yo. :ohmy:)

[fairfarmhand]

16 is the MINIMUM age for dating here. If a child shows themselves to be responsible and trustworthy, they might get to do it. Alot of it depends on who they are going out with as well.

 

 

Additionally, I want my kids to have a year or two dating under their belts before they go away to college. I want to be there when they get home to advise them on how to handle certain situations, and I want dad to be around to start calling if she doesn't come home when she is supposed to. Nothing like knowing that your DADDY is going to have a stern discussion with your date if he doesn't behave himself!

[BlsdMama]

I've heard so many parents say that their children aren't allowed to date until they're 16. What's so freaking special about 16? I personally think it depends on the maturity level of each individual kid.

 

Eh, well, we don't believe in dating at all, so sixteen was no magic number for us. ;)

[swellmomma]

When we were younger, it was because it is the driving age, so you could go out alone together. My first HS boyfriend asked me out a few weeks after he got his license. I was a few months shy of the magic age, but my parents relented anyway. :D (I can't believe I started seriously dating at 15 yo. :ohmy:)

 

I was 12 when I went on a proper date for the first time. I wanted to say no (he was a nose picker and I didn't like him) but my mom said if a boy got up the courage to ask you out the only right response was yes. So we went to the theatre to watch Dick Tracy. We sat with 2 seats in between us and he ate all the popcorn before the previews ended. I was extremely responsible and my earlier boyfriends were fine at 16 I was dating a 20 year old, I broke up with him to date someone my own age. That 16 yr old boy was very abusive.

 

I will allow my kids to date at 16 but they know about the troubles I faced. They also know I would not allow them to date a twenty year old as a teen, nor would I blame them if I heard they were with someone abusive etc. I think my kids will start dating when they feel they can handle all the risks associated but I would not allow it before age 16. That does not mean on their 16th birthday I will be encouraging dating. Allowing and encouraging being 2 very different things of course.

 

All kids develop differently, and have different maturity levels or course as mentioned. I pointed out that I would have failed as a parent if they could not handle a date. In my mind the things I am thinking is appropriate conversation, appropriate activity, no sexual activity, being respectful etc. If they can not do all of that at age 16 I would feel as a failure. I am not referring to teens with significant issues as they are unlikely to have a date anyways. If my kid is going to do nothing more than go park somewhere and make out it won't matter if they are 15, 16, or 18. If that is where their values are that is where they are, that is not so much about maturity imo.

[Trresh]

I just see so many young girls pouring their hearts out on FB over a break-up. I know, at times, teens can be dramatic but they seem to be so devastated only to be 'in a relationship' and totally in love with someone new the next week. There's very little maturity to it. It all seems so pointless to me.

[DianeW88]

In our home (and as a general guideline from our church) 16 is the age for group dates and 18 for solo dating. Mainly because you can do a whole lot of stupid at 14, all the while thinking how oh so mature and worldly you are. Because you know...14 year olds know EVERYTHING (and if you've parented one or two, you know what I mean). They're so naive, they don't even know how naive they are. So to throw stupidity, inexperience and raging hormones together with someone of the opposite sex, and then leave them alone and unsupervised...pretty much equals disaster in my book.

 

My oldest two went out on a lot of group dates during their last two years of high school and had a blast. At 16 they have a bit more maturity, less self-centeredness, and enough experience to know they don't know absolutely everything. Plus, they're starting to crawl out of that pit they fell into around 14.

 

Now that they're both at college, and adults, they date one on one, but they still enjoy group dates the best, especially when you're just getting to know someone.

 

For us, that rule has worked well, and it's the one we'll be sticking with for my youngest (who's now 11 and still thinks girls are :ack2:).

[Abigail4476]

I've heard so many parents say that their children aren't allowed to date until they're 16. What's so freaking special about 16? I personally think it depends on the maturity level of each individual kid.

 

It probably coincides with kids getting their driver's licenses.

 

I agree, though. I does depend on the maturity level. Our assertion with the "dating at 16" was really more of a "You can't date until you're at least 16." We actually don't allow single dates until 18. I see no reason for dating before kids are ready to pursue serious relationships. No one needs to pursue a serious relationship before they graduate high school.

[PeacefulChaos]

I'm sure that most parents do operate more in terms of what their particular child is ready for. But if you are projecting ahead in years to when you think something will be allowed, we often will pick an age when the majority of kids that age would be mature enough to handle the situation. So I wouldn't interpret people's remarks on things like that quite so literally.

 

:iagree:

 

I was told I wasn't allowed to date til I was 16.

Age 14, early 15, I was a little bit boy-crazy. I had lots of boys at school I had crushes on, a few boys 'asked me out' (which amounted to not a whole heck of a lot :tongue_smilie: ) and I couldn't WAIT til I was 16 so I could date.

Amazingly, when I turned 16 I had changed completely. Sure, I still had guys I liked, but it wasn't a big deal any more. I wasn't boy crazy. I had friends and I had fun but suddenly I just didn't consider any guys I knew worthy of dating. :D Best friends, sure, but dating? No thanks.

I went on my first date - ever - with DH when I was 2 days past 18. Got married 9 months later. :)

Edited September 29, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My dd can't date until she's married and can't marry until she's 90, and since our family has a life expectancy of 73-83 years, i'm covered! If she breaks the rules, i'll send ds out after the boy or girl.

 

Ds will be too busy protecting dd to ever worry about his own dating.

[Trresh]

My dd can't date until she's married and can't marry until she's 90, and since our family has a life expectancy of 73-83 years, i'm covered! If she breaks the rules, i'll send ds out after the boy or girl.

 

Ds will be too busy protecting dd to ever worry about his own dating.

 

Ha! :lol: I think I'm going to adopt these rules for my family.

[PeterPan]

In our home (and as a general guideline from our church) 16 is the age for group dates and 18 for solo dating. Mainly because you can do a whole lot of stupid at 14, all the while thinking how oh so mature and worldly you are. Because you know...14 year olds know EVERYTHING (and if you've parented one or two, you know what I mean). They're so naive, they don't even know how naive they are. So to throw stupidity, inexperience and raging hormones together with someone of the opposite sex, and then leave them alone and unsupervised...pretty much equals disaster in my book.

 

My oldest two went out on a lot of group dates during their last two years of high school and had a blast. At 16 they have a bit more maturity, less self-centeredness, and enough experience to know they don't know absolutely everything. Plus, they're starting to crawl out of that pit they fell into around 14.

 

Now that they're both at college, and adults, they date one on one, but they still enjoy group dates the best, especially when you're just getting to know someone.

 

For us, that rule has worked well, and it's the one we'll be sticking with for my youngest (who's now 11 and still thinks girls are :ack2:).

 

I hadn't heard of that approach, so thanks for sharing! :)

[Lisbeth]

In our home (and as a general guideline from our church) 16 is the age for group dates and 18 for solo dating. Mainly because you can do a whole lot of stupid at 14, all the while thinking how oh so mature and worldly you are. Because you know...14 year olds know EVERYTHING (and if you've parented one or two, you know what I mean). They're so naive, they don't even know how naive they are. So to throw stupidity, inexperience and raging hormones together with someone of the opposite sex, and then leave them alone and unsupervised...pretty much equals disaster in my book.

 

My oldest two went out on a lot of group dates during their last two years of high school and had a blast. At 16 they have a bit more maturity, less self-centeredness, and enough experience to know they don't know absolutely everything. Plus, they're starting to crawl out of that pit they fell into around 14.

 

Now that they're both at college, and adults, they date one on one, but they still enjoy group dates the best, especially when you're just getting to know someone.

 

For us, that rule has worked well, and it's the one we'll be sticking with for my youngest (who's now 11 and still thinks girls are :ack2:).

 

This. I see a lot of people rushing to get their kids dating. I don't get the point. There are way more important things to work on in terms of personal development.

[KungFuPanda]

My dd can't date until she's married and can't marry until she's 90, and since our family has a life expectancy of 73-83 years, i'm covered! If she breaks the rules, i'll send ds out after the boy or girl.

 

Ds will be too busy protecting dd to ever worry about his own dating.

 

Sounds like a plan!

 

This. I see a lot of people rushing to get their kids dating. I don't get the point. There are way more important things to work on in terms of personal development.

 

I've never met a single person who pushed their kids to date. I can't even imagine that conversation IRL! I've only ever seen the kids bring up the topic.

 

Did NOBODY here actually enjoy their teen years? It seems like everyone hated high school and is damaged from early dating? Did nobody actually ENJOY these dates they went on without getting into unwholesome, psyche-damaging activity? Really?

[Nakia]

I enjoyed my teen years including *most* of the dates I went on, lol! I don't regret my first love at 14/early 15, such sweet memories! And I'm very thankful for my high school sweetheart whom I married. <3 It's not ałways trauma and drama. ;)

[J-rap]

It isn't, and neither is 18 the magic age to suddenly be a responsible adult, even if society tells you it is.

[J-rap]

In our home (and as a general guideline from our church) 16 is the age for group dates and 18 for solo dating. Mainly because you can do a whole lot of stupid at 14, all the while thinking how oh so mature and worldly you are. Because you know...14 year olds know EVERYTHING (and if you've parented one or two, you know what I mean). They're so naive, they don't even know how naive they are. So to throw stupidity, inexperience and raging hormones together with someone of the opposite sex, and then leave them alone and unsupervised...pretty much equals disaster in my book.

 

My oldest two went out on a lot of group dates during their last two years of high school and had a blast. At 16 they have a bit more maturity, less self-centeredness, and enough experience to know they don't know absolutely everything. Plus, they're starting to crawl out of that pit they fell into around 14.

 

Now that they're both at college, and adults, they date one on one, but they still enjoy group dates the best, especially when you're just getting to know someone.

 

For us, that rule has worked well, and it's the one we'll be sticking with for my youngest (who's now 11 and still thinks girls are :ack2:).

 

This is how we have done it too. It has worked well for us.

[Haiku]

This may be a bit off-topic but it has been bothering me recently so I kinda feel like I need to get it out.

 

We allowed my oldest dd to have a boyfriend at 16. They didn't really go on dates. He lived in the neighborhood and mostly just came over to watch movies. It was against my better judgment but for reasons that I won't go into here, my dh thought it was a good idea and I didn't fight him on it.

 

Recently a longtime friend told me about her dd, who is now 16 but was 15 at the time, who had a high school boyfriend who hit her several times. The girl was then r@ped when she went with a friend to an out-of-state family function.

 

My mind is made up. My younger kids will not be dating. I don't care whether it is fun or cool or whatever. To me, there is NOTHING about teenage dating that is so worth those kinds of risks. If my kids grow up and complain about being deprived of teenage dating, I will have no problem reminding them of the other possibilities that they were also "deprived" of: emotional/physical abuse, teen pregnancy, stds, r@pe, etc.

 

I had a steady boyfriend in high school. He was a nice guy, but I wasted massive amounts of time and emotional energy on him, and it ended very badly (no abuse or anything, just shredded emotions because we were both immature). I want my kids focused elsewhere during their teen years.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

But honestly if my 16 year old is not mature enough to date at 16, only 2 short year until legal adulthood, I am screwing up as a parent

 

But what about the people your child may be dating? Who is making sure that they are mature enough?

 

Tara

[NotSoObvious]

I dated all through high school. I wish I hadn't wasted SO much energy on boys! I wasn't mature enough t make good decisions or to find balance with it all.

 

I hope I can help my girls navigate it all better than my mom did, which will include not allowing dating for a while.

 

We won't have a hard and fast rule though, I don't think. It will just depend on what happens in the next six years and what we feel is appropriate for each child. Although, maybe it's easier to have a hard and fast rule as teenagers really aren't meant to be reasoned with, ;)

[amo_mea_filiis.]

This may be a bit off-topic but it has been bothering me recently so I kinda feel like I need to get it out.

 

We allowed my oldest dd to have a boyfriend at 16. They didn't really go on dates. He lived in the neighborhood and mostly just came over to watch movies. It was against my better judgment but for reasons that I won't go into here, my dh thought it was a good idea and I didn't fight him on it.

 

Recently a longtime friend told me about her dd, who is now 16 but was 15 at the time, who had a high school boyfriend who hit her several times. The girl was then r@ped when she went with a friend to an out-of-state family function.

 

My mind is made up. My younger kids will not be dating. I don't care whether it is fun or cool or whatever. To me, there is NOTHING about teenage dating that is so worth those kinds of risks. If my kids grow up and complain about being deprived of teenage dating, I will have no problem reminding them of the other possibilities that they were also "deprived" of: emotional/physical abuse, teen pregnancy, stds, r@pe, etc.

 

I had a steady boyfriend in high school. He was a nice guy, but I wasted massive amounts of time and emotional energy on him, and it ended very badly (no abuse or anything, just shredded emotions because we were both immature). I want my kids focused elsewhere during their teen years.

 

Tara

 

I got pregnant with dd at 16, which is one of a million reasons she is not allowed to date for quite some time.

 

I never studied because of boys, skipped class a lot because of boys, fought with my father (and unfortunately alyaws won) over boys. My teen years were horrible mostly because of boys and my obsession with them.

[PeterPan]

This may be a bit off-topic but it has been bothering me recently so I kinda feel like I need to get it out.

 

We allowed my oldest dd to have a boyfriend at 16. They didn't really go on dates. He lived in the neighborhood and mostly just came over to watch movies. It was against my better judgment but for reasons that I won't go into here, my dh thought it was a good idea and I didn't fight him on it.

 

Recently a longtime friend told me about her dd, who is now 16 but was 15 at the time, who had a high school boyfriend who hit her several times. The girl was then r@ped when she went with a friend to an out-of-state family function.

 

My mind is made up. My younger kids will not be dating. I don't care whether it is fun or cool or whatever. To me, there is NOTHING about teenage dating that is so worth those kinds of risks. If my kids grow up and complain about being deprived of teenage dating, I will have no problem reminding them of the other possibilities that they were also "deprived" of: emotional/physical abuse, teen pregnancy, stds, r@pe, etc.

 

I had a steady boyfriend in high school. He was a nice guy, but I wasted massive amounts of time and emotional energy on him, and it ended very badly (no abuse or anything, just shredded emotions because we were both immature). I want my kids focused elsewhere during their teen years.

 

Tara

 

I totally hear you! So then do you think the *group dating* ideas of some of the others would be prone to these problems?

[LucyStoner]

I went on a date when I was 14. It was awful, complete with pressure to have sex because he had taken me on a date. Classic and gross. Soon after I paired up with a boy from youth group who was my "boyfriend" until college and me meeting my now spouse. By that I mean that we very platonically dated and he was basically my out for having to give an answer to other boys who asked me out. I could then point to my accomplished at TKD and letterman wrestler "boyfriend" who looked impressively large and say "oh, I have a boyfriend" and be quite certain boys would leave me alone. I don't know when I will let my sons start dating but I don't think 14 is old enough.

 

I enjoyed my teen years a lot. They were very healing and fun but for me that didn't include serious dating. I had a lot of friends, male and female and we had a lot of fun together- dancing, sports, debate team etc. My high school boy friend was very sweet and the exploration we did together- kissing, cuddling and the like was all that I was ready for.

Edited September 29, 2012 by kijipt

[brandigirl]

I am 16 now and although boys are interesting I have simply agreed with myself that college is when I will hit the dating scene. Its not due to religious reasons or purity reasons but its always been my thing that if a boy still needs his mommy to pack his lunch and get him up in the morning then what on earth should he be doing dating. I went to a school that by 8th grade graduation everyone had already kissed and a good majority had done a hell of a lot more. My mother never restricted me and said I could not date in fact she would have let me date but she explained to me risks and issues that I could face dating boys that young. She did not have to tell me though I watched it play out. Girls in 8th grade taking pregnancy test in the locker room bathrooms. :( I felt so bad for them. So even though it kinda stinks to be one of my only friends who has not done anything I get to watch my friends go through a lot of heart ache and make a lot of stupid mistakes.

[Elinor Everywhere]

Did NOBODY here actually enjoy their teen years? It seems like everyone hated high school and is damaged from early dating? Did nobody actually ENJOY these dates they went on without getting into unwholesome, psyche-damaging activity? Really?

 

Me! I dated throughout high school, and I had no issues with it. Steady boyfriends, group dates, solo dates, school dances, etc.

 

My dd is almost 15 and very much wants to be asked to the Homecoming Dance this year. If asked, she can go, but only with a group. She's a Freshman, and only attends school for band and choir, but she's busy organizing a group of kids to go. If the boy asks her, she plans on telling him she'd love to, but that he'd have to go with her group. For the boy in question, I think he'd be relieved to go with a group. :tongue_smilie:

 

By the way, my dd is very modest and protective of her body (much more than I ever was - she has the cutest little figure but can't stand the thought of a 2-piece bathing suit), and she's a bit young for her age, I think. She likes the idea of a boyfriend, but when told that boyfriends usually want to kiss, she freaked out. :lol: Now she's the one actively promoting the "just a group of kids" philosophy. :D

[Nestof3]

I started dating when I was 14. Every single guy (and these were the nice ones) wanted heavy kissing and/or foreplay, everything but s*x or everything. I dated about 20 guys before I married. (relationships, not just single dates).

 

I never knew a single guy at my school or outside of it that was dating because he cared about girls' feelings, thoughts, plans, etc. In their free time, women were s*x objects. There was nothing of real giving or sacrifice on their part.

 

I guess that influences me.

 

I have to say that this trend changed with older college students I went out with in my Christian circles. But, we're talking early 20's).

Edited September 29, 2012 by nestof3

[TranquilMind]

I've heard so many parents say that their children aren't allowed to date until they're 16. What's so freaking special about 16? I personally think it depends on the maturity level of each individual kid.

 

16 is very, very special!;)

 

No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. We were mostly raised with this standard, so I guess it just sticks. Some kids should be locked up for their own safety at 16, and others would be fine at 13 or 14.

[TranquilMind]

This. I see a lot of people rushing to get their kids dating. I don't get the point. There are way more important things to work on in terms of personal development.

 

I don't see people "rushing to get their kids dating." I'd rather it not happen for years and years.

 

But that's unrealistic, and actually the teens are a good time to interact with others with an eye to the future.

[TranquilMind]

Did NOBODY here actually enjoy their teen years? It seems like everyone hated high school and is damaged from early dating? Did nobody actually ENJOY these dates they went on without getting into unwholesome, psyche-damaging activity? Really?

 

I did! The few dates I had outside of an older boyfriend for three years.

 

I wish I had done some things differently, but I don't think I was damaged by dating in high school.

[Haiku]

Did NOBODY here actually enjoy their teen years?

 

Some of it I enjoyed and some of it I didn't, but looking back now I see how so much of it was wasted time, and I wish some adult that I trusted and respected had pointed me in the direction of more useful, fulfilling activities to occupy my time.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

I totally hear you! So then do you think the *group dating* ideas of some of the others would be prone to these problems?

 

It would depend on the situation, I suppose. But an exclusive relationship with one person? Not gonna happen, at least as far as I have anything to say about it. I know can't keep my child from "having a boyfriend" or "having a girlfriend," but I can keep my child occupied with other things and limit the amount of one-one-one time my child has with any one particular person.

 

Tara

[TranquilMind]

It would depend on the situation, I suppose. But an exclusive relationship with one person? Not gonna happen, at least as far as I have anything to say about it. I know can't keep my child from "having a boyfriend" or "having a girlfriend," but I can keep my child occupied with other things and limit the amount of one-one-one time my child has with any one particular person.

 

Tara

 

That's what I have to do. Travel sports are great for this.

 

They like each other; they just never see each other.

[PeterPan]

It would depend on the situation, I suppose. But an exclusive relationship with one person? Not gonna happen, at least as far as I have anything to say about it. I know can't keep my child from "having a boyfriend" or "having a girlfriend," but I can keep my child occupied with other things and limit the amount of one-one-one time my child has with any one particular person.

 

Tara

 

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing! :)

[swellmomma]

Did NOBODY here actually enjoy their teen years? It seems like everyone hated high school and is damaged from early dating? Did nobody actually ENJOY these dates they went on without getting into unwholesome, psyche-damaging activity? Really?

 

I sure did not. I was an outcast trying to find my way after years of bullying, got into dangerous relationships, which sent me in a spiral of self destruction as far as my education went. Outside of school I worked hard and did my thing. By 12th grade I finally emerged out the other side, made some friends, had some laughs, graduated and moved on. I was done with my teen years by the time I was 13. I no longer felt like a person by 16. I dated through out high school, the first series of the guys were fine, even the 20 yr old. But once I ended up with that first abusive guy (mostly sexual but also physical and verbal) I kept finding myself dating guys that were like that. Not good for someone that spent their whole like being told they were nothing, and once the first set of abuse was found out was told it was your own fault. Teen years sucked!