If you used to be an indecisive person, what steps have you taken to be more

[Lisa R.]

decisive?

 

I really struggle to make decisions. I can narrow down my choices fairly easily to just a couple of options. Then, I just waffle back and forth. When I do make a decision, I second-guess myself. Should I have chosen the other option? Did I make a mistake? I think the second guessing is even worse than the struggle to make the original decision.

 

One thing that has helped is realizing that not making a decision...is making a decision. For example, should I buy this bookshelf or not? If I go back and forth, and back and forth, I'm essentially making the decision *not* to buy the bookshelf. Realizing this helps move me to make an active decision.

 

I do find that when I take my time and look at all the options, I make much better decisions. When I make a quick decision (doesn't happen often, but it happens) if is often not a very good one. Being aware of this makes me want to analyze the different options I have longer than I should, though.

 

Other than that, any ideas on how you've moved to be a more decisive person? Also any ideas on reducing the second guessing once a decision is made?

[OnTheBrink]

I can't decide if I want to post my answer or not...:lol:

 

Seriously, whenever I'm waffling, I do look at all the facts, and examine my motives. Do I want something because I need it or want it, or is it just a good deal and I'm a sucker for a good deal? Same with deciding about an activity. Do I REALLY want to do this, or am I afraid if I don't, someone will think badly of me or I'll miss out on something. I guess I just have to decide what's more important at the time and go from there.

 

Whenever I make snap decisions, I come to regret them, so I don't do that often.

[justLisa]

Well, my husband and I are both like this. It's really funny. "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "Whatever you decide is good." "No really, why don't you do what you want to do."

 

Luckily when it comes to serious decisions we have ways for coping. One thing we often do is make a pro and con list. Or we will research every angle to death until we arrive at what seems like a good decision.

 

I suppose we would be terrible under pressure. Then again, who knows. Maybe we wouldn't be. We definitely don't put ourselves in high pressure situations if we can help it.

 

I have no desire to change. I'm ok with this part about myself. I don't think it's the worst quality ever.

 

We are the same :lol:

 

Though under pressure or something that needs to be decided quickly I choose the most rational.

[Catwoman]

OK, I'm going to be the first one to admit this.

 

I saw your thread as soon as you posted it and I wanted to reply, but I didn't respond right away because I couldn't decide what to say.

 

Seriously.

 

Personally, I'm pretty good with big decisions; it's the little stuff that gets to me.

[elegantlion]

Getting older and being broke. Both make choices easier. No money limits options, being older means you realize what choices are important, which choices might be wrong for you (while still being a choice), and which choices are more preference than anything. You also learn it's okay to be wrong once in a while.

[justLisa]

OK, I'm going to be the first one to admit this.

 

I saw your thread as soon as you posted it and I wanted to reply, but I didn't respond right away because I couldn't decide what to say.

 

Seriously.

 

Personally, I'm pretty good with big decisions; it's the little stuff that gets to me.

 

This is so true :lol:

 

I could spend hours and hours looking at something trivial. I often go shopping for something and spend too long walking back and forth between items. I remember the last time I went to the grocery. I was getting onions. I first saw little bags of 2lbs and they were small. In to the cart. Then I drove to the other side and saw the giant Spanish onions so I started bagging them and went to put the others back. Then I hadn't noticed the Walla Walla sweets so I walked back over and dumped the onions back and started bagging the sweets. And the produce guy was watching me and told me I get the award for the day and thanks for putting them back because most people leave them somewhere. It takes me a LONG time to shop for food.

[lisamarie]

Well, my husband and I are both like this. It's really funny. "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "Whatever you decide is good." "No really, why don't you do what you want to do."

.

 

:iagree: This is so me whenever DH asks me where I want to go on a date. I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to pick curriculum for the kids. Or how much I research before making any major purchasing decision.

 

I made a decision to become more decisive in the little things. So I try to name a place for dinner when DH asks. I think the key is to stop worrying so much about the other person. Counter intuitive I know. I usually have an idea in my head, but I waffle because what if DH doesn't want to eat there or go there or whatever. So now I just either give him two choices or pick what I want.

 

For major things, I do my research and then pick based on that. Occasionally I regret my decision, but hey, at least I MADE a decision.:lol:

[bpskowski]

Getting older and being broke. Both make choices easier. No money limits options, being older means you realize what choices are important, which choices might be wrong for you (while still being a choice), and which choices are more preference than anything. You also learn it's okay to be wrong once in a while.

 

:iagree:

 

Also, just having kids has made me more decisive. I'm glad I waited to have kids. Now, I know better. ;) Of course, maybe I shouldn't have waited. Maybe my decisiveness would have emerged sooner. Or maybe not! :tongue_smilie: Really, now when it comes to the important things I have a very definitive opinion.