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Welcome but not welcome


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Have any of you ever had an experience where you were told that you were welcome at an event with your kids and then when you got there they weren't prepared for having school aged kids and seemed like you really weren't welcome afterall? How do you deal with it? Do you continue to go and let them adjust or stop going?

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are you talking about realizing the event wasn't set up to have kids until after you got there.

 

When that has happened to me, I evaluate whether or not my kids can handle being present without disruption. If it's appropriate for them to have a book or something we may run back out to the car and grab such entertainment for them. If the event was set so that kids could not actually participate or be unobtrusive, then we'd just leave.

 

I might at a later time send a message to the organizers saying I asked and was told XYZ, but apparently that wasn't the case and suggest in the future they be more upfront about the kind of event they are holding.

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Yes...it is a ladies bible study with a preschool program. I was told that there was another homeschool family that would be there. And they were but the leaders were not prepared for having older children and some roudy play ended up happening and my son got hurt. We were asked at the end if we were going to continue to come and that they would arrange for care for the older ones. I know they are trying to accomodate us but it almost seemed like an inconvenience.

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I think it's a misunderstanding.

 

"Welcome" doesn't equate to "prepared to entertain." If an adult function said my kids were welcome, I assume they would be expected to be able to sit quietly through whatever it was (ie, I bring books, coloring stuff, etc. and keep an eye on them myself.) I would not assume a separate (or even together) age appropriate activity for the children.

 

I would also not assume that most people would consider the 2yo or the 5yo to be school-aged.

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I think it's a misunderstanding.

 

"Welcome" doesn't equate to "prepared to entertain." If an adult function said my kids were welcome, I assume they would be expected to be able to sit quietly through whatever it was (ie, I bring books, coloring stuff, etc. and keep an eye on them myself.) I would not assume a separate (or even together) age appropriate activity for the children.

 

I would also not assume that most people would consider the 2yo or the 5yo to be school-aged.

 

My younger son is welcome to attend choir with me (when elder son is not around to watch him). That means that he sits quietly in the corner reading a book and people are sweet to him when we have a short break in the middle.

 

Laura

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Your blog entry really does give a lot more pertinent information. Personally, I would not have let them go into the other room (or wherever the kids were taken) unless I had known how things were organized for the kids. But I have had things seem ok and then get out of hand so I'm not blaming you at all. It sounds like a free-for-all and I would have been very unhappy, just as you were! I don't know how long the study is and how much you've worked with your kids on sitting quietly in situations like that, but I would go the next time prepared with quiet activities for my children and would keep them with me. Planning or no planning, I would not leave my kids in a situation where the adult in charge allowed a child to be tied up and stepped on.

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