bakerjung Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Thank you in advance for your wisdom. My oldest just started college and I realized I am still trying to be his "teacher." Any words or wisdom for making the transition from teacher/advisor to parent of college student would be greatly appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 How about you make the transition from teacher to coach? I often hear that as what a parent of a young adult in college should be. I'd also start by not answering his dilemmas but asking him what he thinks he should do? If he says something dumb you can ask more questions: how would X react if you did that? What do you think would happen then? How would you feel if someone said that to you? If he comes up with a good plan, then you can just praise him and if it will be tough offer encouragement while telling him that you think it will be hard to do but you'll be happy to listen to him belly ache (or whatever) while he is doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 It's hard, isn't it? Two things that are easy to do right off the bat are (a) ask more questions and give less advice and (b) ask permission to give advice. So instead of saying, "You really should take Bio next semester," say something like, "So have you started thinking about which classes you plan to take next semester?" Then at some point in the conversation you can say, "May I make a suggestion? Bio would be a good next step and here's why: (etc, etc). But of course, the choice is ultimately yours." Stepping back doesn't have to mean bugging out..it's more about moving into from a role of authority into the role of a mentor. Is this what you meant? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakerjung Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 I think both posts are affirming what I have been thinking that I need to ask questions and not try to solve his dilemas. I like the idea of asking for permission to give in put. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 A few thousand miles helped this process immensely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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