Food allergy complaint- adults who don't believe or ?

[Lady Florida.]

I don't understand it either, but I have seen it. There's a girl in our homeschool group with a severe peanut allergy (actually there are several now but she's the first person I ever met with a peanut allergy). Over the years there have been a few people in the group who just didn't think it was "a big deal". Excuse me? Keeping this child alive isn't a big deal? I don't think they're mean or evil either. For some reason though, they either can't or won't see the truth.

 

 

:grouphug: to all of you who have to deal with severe allergies, either your own or your children's. And :grouphug: to all of you who have to deal with people who don't get it.

[Colleen in NS]

Lactic acid, corn, gluten, and I am sure there are others beside the citric acid that are in all sorts of products you wouldn't think of.

 

I posted awhile ago about mayonnaise that I found in Wal-Mart in the States - the Great Value brand had a "may contain" warning about peanuts!! Well, recently I was in a Wal-Mart again in the States, looking for baking soda. I found the GV brand, started loading several boxes into my cart (it was cheaper than here!), when I thought, "I s'pose I should look at the side of the box." Sure enough, there was a peanut warning. In baking soda!!!!! Very frustrating. I tell my kids all the time, "Read everything, every single time."

 

I just don't get why some adults would argue with her and try to encourage her to eat food she already told them she can't.

 

I think it boils down to disrespect, no matter what the surface reasons are. You tell someone you can't do something, they try to talk you into it, they are disrespecting what you just told them. It's crossing a boundary they may not even recognize, but you're in the position of needing to stand your ground and define the boundary yet again. Oh well, I suppose practicing drawing boundaries is a good thing...

[TravelingChris]

FOr the poster who wanted to know how we found out about the citric acid allergy - here is the story. DD had been turning bright red in a specific pattern for a few years. I even brought her to a dermatologist and she thought is was something completely different. We now know this was the earlier stage of the allergy but since it is in so many foods, we didn't see a pattern. WE moved here a year ago, and earlier this year, my dd started having itching, swelling of the lips, and the bright redness with either citrus fruits or tomatoes (both of which she loved, so no, not pickiness at all). WE stopped giving her that but only a few weeks later, we were shopping and she wanted to buy some German candy-a peach gummy kind of candy, Well we checked the ingredients and it did not have any citrus fruit, so I said okay. She ate a few and had her first anaphalactic reaction. It was a fairly mild one, at that point, and I dosed her up with benadryl, had her use her inhaler (which she had for allergies), and she got better. In the meantime, I called her allergist. They had us come in the next morning. She had already been seeing the allergist for her wasp allergy and getting shots for that. The allergist decided to test her for both citrus fruits, some other things, and made a special compound of the candy. The candy basically had sugar, citric acid and maybe one or two other ingredients which we didn't suspect. She reacted to both the candy and the citrus fruit. The only common ingredient was the citric acid in both. So we knew to avoid. However, in the very beginning, she accidentally did it again and needed to go to the allergist for treatment. Very soon after this, she suddenly began to be anaphalactic to the wasp shots that she had been getting for a number of years with no problem. They tried again with a very tiny dose again and she had an even worse reaction. No, we didn't need to go to the ER. The allergist has all the same medication and treatments that you get at the ER for allergy plus a specialist on allergies.

 

She went to a physics and engineering camp for girls this summer and reacted mildly twice when she ate the wrong food.

 

Here is how her life is complicated now- if she will be more than 20 minutes away from an ER, she needs to carry a whole baggie of medications- multiple prednisone pills, singulair, benadryl and one other I can't recall right now. Along with that, she needs to bring four epipens- not one or two. Why? She is so allergic to wasps now. She went into a fairly serious anaphalactic reaction the last time she had one to the shot. It was 1/10 of a wasp sting.

[In the Rain]

I would never want someone to eat something at my house that they're sensitive or intolerant to. I'd be very upset that you 1) think it's ok to make yourself sick (migraine & stomach cramps counts as sick), and that 2) you think I can't handle you not eating something I served.

 

ETA: I realize some people can't handle it (the same ones that don't think allergies exist, try to get you to eat something you're allergic to, or think you'll outgrow it), but don't do it (eat it) for them, do it (avoid it) for you.

 

I am honestly not trying to berate you or be snarky. I do have to ask though--

 

I honestly cannot fathom actually choosing to poison myself so that a perfectly healthy host can avoid feeling bad???

 

Your post said you will actually get a migraine in addition to cramping? Do you really think your host wants you to pay for it with all those hours of pain?

..

(I know you said that is your own choice--but that is actually what many people do expect of my son, and seeing your post, knowing you actually choose that pain, blew my mind.)

 

You are probably both the type of people who ask guests if they have preferences or allergies. If you asked, I'd tell you. :001_smile: I always ask my guests. When people don't ask, or they know you have issues, but serve the food anyways, it becomes awkward. If I had celiac or a true allergy, I would make a bigger deal of it.

 

For the record, I ate sour cream chicken enchiladas at a restaurant because I was having a pity party and really, really wanted them! :tongue_smilie: I can usually make much better choices in someone's home. ;)

Edited September 26, 2012 by Julianna
rethinking my decision to complain about people kind enough to invite me for dinner.

[TravelingChris]

Oh, when I said, she had her first anaphalactic reaction- I meant to citric acid. She had already had a few to wasps- either the actual sting or the venom in the shot.

 

As we keep telling all the doctors, we are the zebras (this kid was one of only 200 in the world diagnosed with ideopathic juvenile osteoporosis (by the expert in children's osteoporosis and other breaking bone problems)). Don't even think it will be easy-it isn't. The first time dd had an anaphalactic reaction to a wasp was her third sting in her life but she had a delayed reaction of over 24 hours (probably about 26-27 hours). The er at The University of Florida hospital treated her but were amazed about it- no one there had ever seen a delayed anaphalactic reaction. BUt it certainly was one. By the time they took her back to get treated, she was a very emergent case, having a very hard time breathing. Then we got back to where we lived and the allergist was skeptical. BUt he tested and yes, she was allergic to wasps. That skepticism was repeated with two other allergist and always the wasp allergy was confirmed. She had one more delayed mild anaphalactic reaction to allergy testing one time (about 20 hour delay) and since that time, always it has been immediate. I am just thankful for this allergist because she wasn't skeptical and didn't force her to have more reaction testing to wasps.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I have never figured that out, either. :glare:

 

None of us in my family have those kinds of food issues, but I have friends who do, and I've always tried to pay attention to what they say.

 

I think that is what flabbergasts me about threads like this. Isn't it just manners to go with what someone says they are allergic to? If you don't believe them or want to act like a snot about it, shouldn't manners indicate you just do that in the privacy of your own home when you're not around them?

 

No one else is the expert on your health, unless it's your trusted doctor. Why people need to act like they are, I don't know. It's presumptuous and nosy.

[In the Rain]

FOr the poster who wanted to know how we found out about the citric acid allergy - here is the story. DD had been turning bright red in a specific pattern for a few years. I even brought her to a dermatologist and she thought is was something completely different. We now know this was the earlier stage of the allergy but since it is in so many foods, we didn't see a pattern. WE moved here a year ago, and earlier this year, my dd started having itching, swelling of the lips, and the bright redness with either citrus fruits or tomatoes (both of which she loved, so no, not pickiness at all). WE stopped giving her that but only a few weeks later, we were shopping and she wanted to buy some German candy-a peach gummy kind of candy, Well we checked the ingredients and it did not have any citrus fruit, so I said okay. She ate a few and had her first anaphalactic reaction. It was a fairly mild one, at that point, and I dosed her up with benadryl, had her use her inhaler (which she had for allergies), and she got better. In the meantime, I called her allergist. They had us come in the next morning. She had already been seeing the allergist for her wasp allergy and getting shots for that. The allergist decided to test her for both citrus fruits, some other things, and made a special compound of the candy. The candy basically had sugar, citric acid and maybe one or two other ingredients which we didn't suspect. She reacted to both the candy and the citrus fruit. The only common ingredient was the citric acid in both. So we knew to avoid. However, in the very beginning, she accidentally did it again and needed to go to the allergist for treatment. Very soon after this, she suddenly began to be anaphalactic to the wasp shots that she had been getting for a number of years with no problem. They tried again with a very tiny dose again and she had an even worse reaction. No, we didn't need to go to the ER. The allergist has all the same medication and treatments that you get at the ER for allergy plus a specialist on allergies.

 

She went to a physics and engineering camp for girls this summer and reacted mildly twice when she ate the wrong food.

 

Here is how her life is complicated now- if she will be more than 20 minutes away from an ER, she needs to carry a whole baggie of medications- multiple prednisone pills, singulair, benadryl and one other I can't recall right now. Along with that, she needs to bring four epipens- not one or two. Why? She is so allergic to wasps now. She went into a fairly serious anaphalactic reaction the last time she had one to the shot. It was 1/10 of a wasp sting.

 

Thanks for taking the time to explain it all. My dd had her first severe reaction a few months ago. Since then I've encountered several children with anaphylactic allergies to foods and environmental allergens. I'm very interested in how these allergies are caused in the first place. Part of me is worried that my dd could be more likely to have an anaphylactic reaction in the future.

 

Does the doctor know why your dd became so highly allergic to wasps after receiving shots for years?

[TravelingChris]

She isn't sure but I think it was that her immune system got overreactive due to the anaphalctic reactions to the citric acid episodes. It all happened pretty close together in time. All I know was that my late winter early spring this year was just awful with the youngest having these reactions so often and my next older one coming home from college early because of a still undiagnosed serious problem. That one is going to a special clinic at Vanderbilt in November that we hope will have an answer for her and a treatment.

[Rai B.]

There does seem to be an inability to remember what foods are made of. It is really hard for me to grasp.

I think part of it for the truly ignorant, as opposed to the antagonistic, is that you really have to read food labels. I avoid wheat and cannot believe how much wheat is in products you wouldn't consider.

 

Many people really really don’t think about what they eat. DD and I are intolerant to red meat. The number of people who, when told somone can’t eat meat without getting sick, will suggest pepperoni pizza is mind-boggling.

 

The whole mass of people with food intolerances (myself included) surely make it harder for those with true allergies. I buy nondairy everything, and have used dairy substitutes for 25 years. Most people who know me, know I don't have dairy. …. And I would never turn down food at an acquaintance's house, because I wouldn't want to make a host feel bad. But that probably furthers the argument that some people who say they can't have a food, actually can. I've tried to become more careful of saying "I avoid dairy", rather than "I can't have dairy".

You are probably both the type of people who ask guests if they have preferences or allergies. If you asked, I'd tell you. I always ask my guests. When people don't ask, or they know you have issues, but serve the food anyways, it becomes awkward. If I had celiac or a true allergy, I would make a bigger deal of it.

:iagree: Edited September 25, 2012 by Rai B.

[Mama_Rana]

Yes, only plain potatoes. Most folks with a sulfite allergy have a threshold that they can handle. Some folks are just sensitive and get headaches, and tummy problems. Unfortunately, dh is anaphalatically allergic below the threshold that the manufacturers have to report. So we read a lot of labels. Sulfites occur naturally in grape skin. My dh can't have any wine at all. Bottle lemon juice is what sent him to the hospital!

 

Yeah, I think it's weird that my sis can have wine but not lemon juice, but it is what it is, and I'm not going to intentionally try to test it. Luckily, she hasn't had a severe [needed to go to the ER] reaction in a while and she works in a hospital so if she DOES... *sigh*

 

Anyway, I'd never heard of a sulfite allergy until my sister developed it, but now she knows several people and now I know of your dh. Makes me wonder if it's becoming more common or if I'm just becoming more aware.

[Rebel Yell]

I like to think people are just truly clueless.

 

I have a DD who cannot have food dyes... in any form- foods, medicines, body care products. In short, she gets a bizarre behavioral reaction. Some people seem to think "home made" means it;s OK... a cooking class was making red velvet cake. I explained that she can't have food dyes. I asked what they used to make the cake red. Nothing- just a bottle of Red 40. :001_huh:

 

Also amusing is another child's problem with dairy. She can't have pasteurized dairy, but she can have goat/sheep milk anything, raw dairy, and butter. (she gets a mild skin rash, severe is she has too much by mistake) I thoroughly explained that, and then several times I have picked her up from an event to be told that they didn't give her any food because it had eggs in it. ummmmm I wanna see that cow that lays eggs. :glare:

[Harriet Vane]

You are probably both the type of people who ask guests if they have preferences or allergies. If you asked, I'd tell you. :001_smile: I always ask my guests. When people don't ask, or they know you have issues, but serve the food anyways, it becomes awkward. If I had celiac or a true allergy, I would make a bigger deal of it.

 

After 15 years with certain relatives, I've realized they aren't going to change what they serve. It's not like they don't know what I can't eat. :tongue_smilie: It is just easier to eat what I can from what is offered at the table. I went to bat for my kids' food allergies when they were younger and had allergies. That was a true struggle. I'm talking about people who don't believe in celiac, and think you could die without gluten. :blink::rolleyes: Dairy issues hold no merit either, apparently.

 

The case of our friends is kind of odd. After nearly two years of being served nondairy products in our home, watching me drink water at the ice cream shop, and watching me not eat the ice cream they always serve for dessert, you'd think they might serve something else. :lol: When they serve chicken parmesan from their grandma's recipe, it is easier to just scrape off the breading and cheese, and load up on salad with no dressing. I'm going for their company, not necessarily the food.

 

For the record, I ate sour cream chicken enchiladas at a restaurant because I was having a pity party and really, really wanted them! :tongue_smilie: I can usually make much better choices in someone's home. ;)

 

Yes, I do ask, because I know how ds suffers and want to be sensitive.

 

We do carry food for ds everywhere we go. We do this partially because we know that other people are not used to checking ingredients and often make mistakes, and partially because we do not hold other people responsible for trying to cater to ds' needs.

 

That said, those that do know and are part of the "inner circle" who minimize ds' issues get NO mercy from me. In the case of your relatives, in your shoes I would bring my own food. You are very, very gracious about it.

 

If ever I caught someone slipping ds something with milk to "prove" he's not intolerant (as another poster in this thread mentioned), the mama bear would come out roaring.

[Harriet Vane]

I like to think people are just truly clueless.

 

I have a DD who cannot have food dyes... in any form- foods, medicines, body care products. In short, she gets a bizarre behavioral reaction. Some people seem to think "home made" means it;s OK... a cooking class was making red velvet cake. I explained that she can't have food dyes. I asked what they used to make the cake red. Nothing- just a bottle of Red 40. :001_huh:

 

Also amusing is another child's problem with dairy. She can't have pasteurized dairy, but she can have goat/sheep milk anything, raw dairy, and butter. (she gets a mild skin rash, severe is she has too much by mistake) I thoroughly explained that, and then several times I have picked her up from an event to be told that they didn't give her any food because it had eggs in it. ummmmm I wanna see that cow that lays eggs. :glare:

 

I get that extreme too! I have had many people with hold food from ds because of eggs. He is lactose intolerant, though, so eggs do not bother him in the least.

 

It's one extreme or the other. I'd rather the hyper-vigilance than the other way, though.

[cin]

I think part of it for the truly ignorant, as opposed to the antagonistic, is that you really have to read food labels. I avoid wheat and cannot believe how much wheat is in products you wouldn't consider.

 

 

I agree, but it's beyond ignorant to offer someone with a dairy allergy ice cream. Or to sit a box of dunkin donuts in front of a person with a gluten intolerance. Citric acid, I can go along with. That's a bit unusual and you have to search for it, and like the PP said, if you can eat french fries from McDonald's but not from Burger King (or the other way around) I can give a person a little leeway on not comprehending. But some people are just so beyond ignorant, you just have to wonder WHY THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL SOMEONE. Because that is what it appears they are doing.

[TravelingChris]

Oh, and in case, anyone is wondering about the whole fry thing, McDonald;s uses citric acid to preserve french fries and Burger King doesn't. There are many preservatives, and different posters have already said how they or someone in their family has anaphalctic reactions to various ones-sulfites, bromide,etc.

 

And that is the thing, dd doesn't expect others to know- just not to argue with her. My brother is a modified vegetarian- he will occassionally eat chicken, turkey, fish or seafood but normally eats vegetarian. If I think it is silly, so what? I don't try to sereptiosly give him beef while he is here or anything like that. I have had encounters with people on all sorts of diets or with all kinds of allergies or sensitivities. I never have tried to convince these people to eat anything that they already said they weren't going to eat. Why waste my time? And if I am making food for someone, why would I want to harm them or make them uncomfortable? Whether you are allergic or will have the runs or break out or ruin your diet, whatever the problem, if I am the host, I want to know and accommodate you. That is what I think a good host does. I mean how much trouble is it really to substitute rice or potatoes for pasta if you have a celiac visitor, Make a salad with olive oil and plain white vinegar and some spices. Make something for the meat that isn't breaded. Serve gluten free ice cream for dessert. I wish I could invite all you allergenic and celiac people over one by one and give you a delightful meal that accommodates your problems.

[stripe]

Many people really really don’t think about what they eat. DD and I are intolerant to red meat. The number of people who, when told somone can’t eat meat without getting sick, will suggest pepperoni pizza is mind-boggling.

 

It is totally bizarre how little people think. I wouldn't necessarily classify pepperoni as a "red meat," though, because I'd assume it is pork. I don't eat it, though! I have even had a relative be shocked -- shocked! -- when I said something about baba ghanouj being made from eggplant. This had nothing to do with an eggplant. This is someone who'd been eating it for years. It never occured to him to wonder what it is??

 

I have a relative who always goes out of her way to argue with my husband in particular about various food issues (not allergic, in this case), just because she doesn't see the point. There is some sort of a desire to prove something, or reject rules, or something. I can't put my finger on it.

Edited September 26, 2012 by stripe

[Rai B.]

It is totally bizarre how little people think. I wouldn't necessarily classify pepperoni as a "red meat," though, because I'd assume it is pork. I don't eat it, though!

Pepperoni is frequently a mystery meat.:D

 

(Strictly speaking, we’re intolerant to red meat in the sense of mammal meat, but I say that and I get the crazy person look.)

[gardening momma]

Pepperoni is frequently a mystery meat.:D

 

(Strictly speaking, we’re intolerant to red meat in the sense of mammal meat, but I say that and I get the crazy person look.)

Since you mentioned it, can I ask--and this is just curiosity (I read your comment with a bit of the crazy person look on my face, but not thinking you're crazy, just trying to understand what you meant)--do you mean you're physically intolerant (get ill in some way or other), or religiously intolerant, or ethically intolerant? Does it include all mammals like pork? (which we don't call red meat)

[Harriet Vane]

Honestly I can't keep all of these strange allergies straight. I would ask you to bring your own food. There is NO way I could do all the necessary research . Citric acid...I don't have a clue and what if I got it wrong!!! I'm sorry for all of you. I really am, and maybe I'm selfish but I wouldn't change everyone's diet to accomodate one child. That isn't fair.. I would expect them to bring their own food.

 

Those of us who cope with allergies and intolerances actually don't expect others to go to great lengths to accommodate us. Most of us prefer to handle our food ourselves because that is the only way we know it is safe. We just wish they wouldn't argue or pressure us to do something that is dangerous for our health. We wish they wouldn't minimize the issue.

Edited September 26, 2012 by strider

[mommymilkies]

Those of us who cope with allergies and intolerances actually don't expect others to go to great lengths to accommodate us. Most of us prefer to handle our food ourselves because that is the only way we know it is safe. We just wish they wouldn't argue or pressure us to do something that is dangerous for our health. We wish they wouldn't minimize the issue.

 

:iagree: As a host, I would be HORRIFIED if someone ate something I made because they felt they had to instead of telling me about their intolerance or allergy. Seriously. I do not ever expect people to change what they're making for us. I have NO problem bringing food for my kids!

[Snickerdoodle]

Those of us who cope with allergies and intolerances actually don't expect others to go to great lengths to accommodate us. Most of us prefer to handle our food ourselves because that is the only way we know it is safe. We just wish they wouldn't argue or pressure us to do something that is dangerous for our health. We wish they wouldn't minimize the issue.

Very well said.

[momacacia]

The great thing is that I think our children's generation will have a much better understanding of and tolerance for food allergy issues. When someone mentions a food allergy the comment will just get an "oh, okay." The savvier kids or those who grew up with food allergies will know to ask dinner guests about allergies in their family before planning the meals/snacks. :)

[Rai B.]

Since you mentioned it, can I ask--and this is just curiosity (I read your comment with a bit of the crazy person look on my face, but not thinking you're crazy, just trying to understand what you meant)--do you mean you're physically intolerant (get ill in some way or other), or religiously intolerant, or ethically intolerant? Does it include all mammals like pork? (which we don't call red meat)

Physically intolerant. Stomach cramps, bloating. Dd vomited the first time someone gave her the aforementioned pizza. While pig meat doesn’t contain as much myoglobin as redder meat, it still contains a lot more than say chicken or fish. I used to say no red meat or pork until a wellmeaning soul then served ham. I sort of gave up clarifying, but Julianna's comment has got me thinking that I shouldn’t have.

 

I also don’t purchase meat or kill animals for religious (Buddhist) reasons, but that is another topic, although it certainly complicates things in real life. Eta 2: The food intolerance predates by several years, and is not directly related to, the this part.

 

Eta: My in-laws are the ones who usually give no choice other than meat and a side, with not enough of the side to make a meal of.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Rai B.
typo, additional info

[stripe]

I used to say no red meat or pork until a wellmeaning soul then served ham.

 

:lol:

[Parrothead]

My brother is a modified vegetarian- he will occassionally eat chicken, turkey, fish or seafood but normally eats vegetarian. If I think it is silly, so what? I don't try to sereptiosly give him beef while he is here or anything like that.

Oh, this is so strange. The whole time we were south with family they all tried to get us to eat meat of one sort or another. I was flabbergasted at how many did not think we were able to make an informed conscious decision to not have meat in our diets. Grrrr...

[Tammyla]

It's hard dealing with so many people who refuse to believe in food allergies. I figure it isn't my job to test them or question them. However, I do know many people who do and even sneak a known allergy into something to see for themselves. Btw...Just because a person or child doesn't drop dead in your presence, doesn't mean they didn't have a reaction.

 

 

My mil, thinks people should take a Benadryl and get over it:confused:.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Tammyla

[lexi]

:grouphug: I'm so sorry but I completely understand. My daughter is anaphylactic to numerous things and people just don't take it seriously. "Ohhh ooops....." They don't think. I no longer trust anyone with my daughter and I consider myself her advocate (she's 3) until she can be her own advocate. I'm going to have to teach her how to deal with insensitive and ignorant people. I've even had other doctors arguing with me about certain allergies she has. But it's very, very real. It's so hard to deal with, isn't it!?

[marbel]

 

I totally understand. Why can't people educate themselves? All mine have various allergies to food, medicines, and environmental things.

 

I don't think the problem is education. It's respecting what people say.

 

My friend whose child has corn and cane product allergies does not expect me to educate myself on those allergies. She is happy to bring her own food, or go over ingredient lists with me if I want to cook for her family. She expects me to listen to her and allow her to ensure her child can eat safely when she's with me.

 

And if she tells me one brand of commercial chicken broth is OK for soup, but another is not, I'm just going to accept that she is correct. I don't need to educate myself (though often that just means reading the labels). I need to respect and listen to her and assume she knows more about her child's allergies than I do.

 

If folks with allergy issues want to correct me on that, please do, and I mean that seriously, not snarkily.

[TravelingChris]

My daughter is not asking people to make special food for her or make sure there is special food for her. SHe well understands that citric acid allergy is a difficult one since it occurs naturally in some foods and is used sometimes as a flavoring and sometimes as a preservative. She isn't complaining about them serving the Publix cupcakes or the pizza or the bread. She is complaining about people trying to argue with her about why she isn't eating and then trying to convince her that oh really, it won't hurt or it isn't an orange or whatever.

 

IF we were invited to a home, we would simply ask not to make a dish with tomatoes, citrus or berry fruits and to make as much possible homemade and tell us what was homemade and what wasn't. If it wasn't, could we look at the package? That kind of thing. That would be for a whole dinner. She can actually deal with it a lot by observing food. Pasta with a cheese sauce will be okay. Pasta plain is okay. Pepperidge Farm is fine. Wonder Bread is fine. Beans, even canned are fine since they use different preservatives for those. She has managed to find restaurants where she can eat something- very important for us because we move and we travel.

 

Also, she now is so allergic that is unlikely she will get seriously endangered. She reacts before she has had much of it. The only real danger could be beverages and she just doesn;t drink anything suspect- she stays with milk, chocolate milk, unsweetened plain ice tea with no lemon from chain restaurants, hot tea, hot chocolate,apple juice and coffee. Otherwise she checks the stuff out. For example, she can have apricot juice if it doesn't have citric acid in it but some do. Otherwise, she turns bright red after a few bites of the wrong food and starts itching. Normally, she only eats suspect food in public and everyone notices. She turns fire engine red over most of her face and has bright red ears. She had this happen twice at her engineering and physics camp and the other girls mentioned it to her before she even started to itch. (She accidentally took some broccoli with cheese without thinking that they may use Velveeta versus plain cheddar and something else similar). Since she only had a few bites and it had so little of it in there, she just got to the stage of bright red and itching. If she started having breathing problems, that is when she needs more intervention.

[ocelotmom]

I had someone (here maybe? I don't remember where I was) give me grief about allergies and intolerances not to long ago. If one doesn't require a trip to the ER after allergy exposure it is not a true allergy. Or so I was told.

 

Definitely not true (as I'm sure you know). While there is a difference between intolerances and true allergic reactions, anaphylactic reactions are only one extreme form of allergic reaction. Breaking out in hives is not life-threatening, but it's still an allergic reaction. And an intolerance can still be a major deal, even if it isn't a true allergic reaction.

 

Anyway, I'd never heard of a sulfite allergy until my sister developed it, but now she knows several people and now I know of your dh. Makes me wonder if it's becoming more common or if I'm just becoming more aware.

 

I do know that sulfites are a pretty common asthma trigger.

 

Also amusing is another child's problem with dairy. She can't have pasteurized dairy, but she can have goat/sheep milk anything, raw dairy, and butter. (she gets a mild skin rash, severe is she has too much by mistake) I thoroughly explained that, and then several times I have picked her up from an event to be told that they didn't give her any food because it had eggs in it. ummmmm I wanna see that cow that lays eggs. :glare:

 

At least they're erring on the side of caution :)

 

I would add "Eggs are fine" to your explanation so that there's no ambiguity, and flat-out ask if there will be anything available for your DD to eat, or if you need to provide something.

 

Honestly I can't keep all of these strange allergies straight. I would ask you to bring your own food. There is NO way I could do all the necessary research . Citric acid...I don't have a clue and what if I got it wrong!!! I'm sorry for all of you. I really am, and maybe I'm selfish but I wouldn't change everyone's diet to accomodate one child. That isn't fair.. I would expect them to bring their own food.

 

For dietary issues where a potential slip-up or trace contamination isn't going to be a huge deal, and where there are easy alternatives, it's selfish not to try to accommodate someone's dietary needs. I mean things like insisting on dumping cheese all over everything when you have a dairy sensitive guest and it could easily be left off a single serving, or making the only vegetable dish with beef broth when you know you have a vegetarian guest - that sort of thing.

 

However, I think most people dealing with serious dietary constraints would rather be told flat-out that they can't be accommodated rather than having the person try and fail, especially when dealing with life-threatening issues. That way they aren't put in the awkward position of having to turn down food that was made especially for them that they still can't trust, and are free to bring safe food without fear of causing insult.

 

I've had the kitchen where I work tell me the oddest things. Something says gluten-free, therefore it must be dairy-free. The ice cream that has something added so that it melts into pudding consistency and not a liquid must not have dairy in it (no, skim milk is the first ingredient). This is in healthcare! And we've had teachers who were convinced that they could give my friend's gluten-intolerant daughter graham crackers because they were made from graham, not wheat. I certainly wouldn't blame anyone with a severe food reaction for not trusting food made by anyone other than themselves!

Edited September 26, 2012 by ocelotmom

[SonshineLearner]

Yup, my daughter is allergic to peanuts and shellfish and other things :( Probably only seriously (as in life threatening) to peanuts.... But she's been tested for the others... It stinks to be allergic to things :(

 

(And yes, it's stupid... with 3 or more kids being seriously allergic to peanuts.... her Preschool teacher did Peanut Pinecone things for Bird houses.... :( It's been fun every since :()

[Hoot]

:grouphug:

That stinks. I've gotten that my whole life. I'm allergic to pre-packaged raisins. Not grapes and not raisins if I dehydrate them myself, but the Sun Maid type. It's something in their drying process. I had an awful reaction as a child: couldn't breathe, had to have my stomach pumped, the whole nine yards. My grandparents, to this day, do not believe that I can't eat raisins. It infuriates me.

 

I think people just have a hard time believing things that aren't "normal" and thus don't make sense to them. Then again, working in schools, we would have a lot of students (not just 1 or 2, but several) tell us they were allergic to XYZ. After a little digging it turned out that they were not allergic at all, but just didn't like said food. In two instances that I can recall the MOTHER actually said that the child was allergic to peanuts but when she was pressed for info. from the nurse confessed that the child just didn't LIKE peanuts. :glare:

[Mama_Rana]

:grouphug:

That stinks. I've gotten that my whole life. I'm allergic to pre-packaged raisins. Not grapes and not raisins if I dehydrate them myself, but the Sun Maid type. It's something in their drying process. I had an awful reaction as a child: couldn't breathe, had to have my stomach pumped, the whole nine yards. My grandparents, to this day, do not believe that I can't eat raisins. It infuriates me.

 

That's interesting about the raisins. My elder son says that raisins make his mouth "feel weird". He still eats them, but he self-limits. I guess I should look into it more.

 

Both of my boys occasionally have redness around their mouths but I haven't been able to narrow it down. I've been lucky they haven't had more serious reactions.

[Parrothead]

Definitely not true (as I'm sure you know). While there is a difference between intolerances and true allergic reactions, anaphylactic reactions are only one extreme form of allergic reaction. Breaking out in hives is not life-threatening, but it's still an allergic reaction. And an intolerance can still be a major deal, even if it isn't a true allergic reaction.

Oh, I know. Even before my allergist told me, I knew. She said something along the lines of my next reaction could be the anaphylactic reaction, as she handed me the 'script for my epi-pens.

 

I can only assume the same for dd.

[Mom-ninja.]

I used to say no red meat or pork until a wellmeaning soul then served ham.

 

 

This reminds me of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when the woman tells her aunt that her fiance doesn't eat meat and the aunt said not to worry because she'd make lamb. :lol:

[MomtoCandJ]

My immediate family (dh, myself and dd) are not allergic to anything except a few meds (me clynimycin, dd albuterol and tamiflu). We have a neice who has celiacs and dd has a class mate who is allergic to eggs. Can anyone point me to a resource or resources that will tell me what to look for as far as ingredient lists? I don't understand the allergies but I don't want them to get sick either.

[TravelingChris]

Well I certainly know the difference between intolerances and allergies but in terms of eating, if you have severe intolerances, you don't want to do that either. DH is lactose intollerant and I believe, peanut intollerant too. The lactose is easy to figure out= he can have small amounts. He gets stomach aches and other digestive issues if he eats too much but really except for not drinking milk, unless in a milk shake, and that is rarely, it makes no difference in his life. He doesn't ever make any issue about it. The peanut intolerance or allergy is different- he gets very big cramps and explosive diarrhea. He didn't think peanuts were the problem so he ate some more on another occasion and got the same reaction. He developed this at around 35 or so. Before he normally ate peanuts, peanut butter, and dishes with peanut butter-like an African chicken dish we used to enjoy. My dd has the same problem with peanuts. He has never brought it up to doctors, just avoids, but dd's problem was addresssed with a pediatrician and he said, it could turn into a more serious problem and just avoid.

[RanchGirl]

I

 

I think it boils down to disrespect, no matter what the surface reasons are. You tell someone you can't do something, they try to talk you into it, they are disrespecting what you just told them. It's crossing a boundary they may not even recognize, but you're in the position of needing to stand your ground and define the boundary yet again. Oh well, I suppose practicing drawing boundaries is a good thing...

 

:iagree:Absolutely it is 100% disrespect and selfishness. With a slice of 'I know better than you how to raise your kids' thrown in. Their desire to eat what they want/look important/whatever is more important to them than my child's airway. I have a SIL who left peanuts on the carpet when my 1 year old peanut-allergic child was there. MIL didn't actually see the stuff on the ground, but had no trouble with serving this food in the living room. Seriously??? I picked him up and walked out of the room. Still makes me mad over a decade later.

[ocelotmom]

My immediate family (dh, myself and dd) are not allergic to anything except a few meds (me clynimycin, dd albuterol and tamiflu). We have a neice who has celiacs and dd has a class mate who is allergic to eggs. Can anyone point me to a resource or resources that will tell me what to look for as far as ingredient lists? I don't understand the allergies but I don't want them to get sick either.

 

The absolute best thing to do is ask the parents. There is no substitute for that.

 

For egg, see http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcespre.php?id=36. Since egg is a top 8 allergen, it has to be clearly labeled, and there should be something that says "Contains: egg".

 

For celiac, things labeled gluten-free are *probably* ok (some very sensitive people can't go by that, because gluten-free technically means that gluten is below a certain very small amount, not necessarily nonexistent). If you're not sure they're ok, avoid things with oats, because even certified gluten-free oats contain a protein that is a common cross-reactant for people with celiac. Unprocessed fruits, veggies, beans, and meat are fine, but be aware that trace contamination can be a problem, and if you don't already have a gluten-free kitchen it's probably safest to stick to premade stuff.

Edited September 26, 2012 by ocelotmom

[Cricket]

That's interesting about the raisins. My elder son says that raisins make his mouth "feel weird". He still eats them, but he self-limits. I guess I should look into it more.

 

Both of my boys occasionally have redness around their mouths but I haven't been able to narrow it down. I've been lucky they haven't had more serious reactions.

 

I developed an allergy to sunflower seeds and oil as an adult. I avoid dried fruit if I can't read the label of the packaging because a lot of dried fruit is coated with sunflower oil. Maybe he's reacting to something other than the raisins?

 

It took years to figure out what I was allergic to because I didn't eat straight sunflower seeds. When I finally did and had an immediate bad reaction all the other reactions I had in the past finally made sense! Many potato chips and corn chips are fried in canola oil and/or corn oil and/or sunflower oil. I hate that and/or in ingredient lists! It finally explained why eating Doritos one day was fine and eating some a week later would make my mouth itch like crazy.

[Mama_Rana]

I developed an allergy to sunflower seeds and oil as an adult. I avoid dried fruit if I can't read the label of the packaging because a lot of dried fruit is coated with sunflower oil. Maybe he's reacting to something other than the raisins?

 

It took years to figure out what I was allergic to because I didn't eat straight sunflower seeds. When I finally did and had an immediate bad reaction all the other reactions I had in the past finally made sense! Many potato chips and corn chips are fried in canola oil and/or corn oil and/or sunflower oil. I hate that and/or in ingredient lists! It finally explained why eating Doritos one day was fine and eating some a week later would make my mouth itch like crazy.

 

Wow!

 

That's interesting [though I'm sorry for you]. I think I'm going to start a new thread though cuz I don't want to hijack any further.

[HollyDay]

I don't understand it either. My oldest has quite a few food allergies and I'm REALLY allergic to cats. I can't tell you how many times people will say, "I'll vacuum before you come over and put the cat in the bedroom." Usually they will follow up with something about my thinking their house isn't clean "enough". Really, it is about premedicating for 3 days, using an inhaler, stying on meds for 3+ days post cat. It is not about you or how clean your house. It is about my breathing.

 

When I had gestational diabetes, many, many folks were offended I wouldn't eat their cake or drink the soda they served. Frequently, I'd bring my planned meal and my glucometer when attending potlucks. They would always be offended that I wouldn't eat their good food. Not once was someone sympathetic or caring about it.

 

I just don't get it. Allergies, celiacs, etc., are hard enough without having to deal with folks who make it worse.

[airforcefamily]

I can't eat gluten so when a bunch of girls and I went to a local bbq place I made sure to ask a manager about their sauce and what they put on the meat before it's smoked. Everything checked out ok. The waitress brought the food out and there were slices of bread on top of the meat on each person's plate, including mine. None of us had been there before and didn't know that's how it was served. She had overheard the conversation between the manager and I and proudly said "I made sure to get you white bread instead of wheat". Um, thanks.

 

I don't think the problem is people not caring (in most cases) it's that they truly do not understand.

[mommybee]

I don't understand it either. My oldest has quite a few food allergies and I'm REALLY allergic to cats. I can't tell you how many times people will say, "I'll vacuum before you come over and put the cat in the bedroom." Usually they will follow up with something about my thinking their house isn't clean "enough". Really, it is about premedicating for 3 days, using an inhaler, stying on meds for 3+ days post cat. It is not about you or how clean your house. It is about my breathing.

 

 

 

I just don't get it. Allergies, celiacs, etc., are hard enough without having to deal with folks who make it worse.

 

I'm the same way with cats! I will not go into any house with them no matter what. My sister once told me I was just being difficult, didn't have an allergy and just wanted attention. Nice huh!

 

OP, I have the same allergy to citric acid but until I read your post had no clue that's the culprit. Since I was a child I could not eat any citrus fruits, I struggle with tomatoes and I always thought it was maybe the vit c or something. I can't even eat colored bell pepper. The worst part is I love and crave all of those things.

 

I'm thinking I have the same allergy as your daughter and for me it's miserable. I already have asthma so I don't notice it making that worse, but my face swells up and my eyes all but swell shut. I have eczema and so my entire face and eyes will be red and itchy and rashy.

 

Now maybe I can look for and pinpoint exactly what to avoid. Any suggestions??

 

My son has had an anaphylactic reaction and it was so scary. He just brings food or doesn't eat wherever he goes. Although some people seem clueless thank God I have never had anyone try to sneak food to him. I did have one dumb dumb when he was young at a VBS give him reese's peanut butter cereal because she said there wasn't any peanuts in it! Thank God he survived that one.

[KidsHappen]

I am allergic to iodine. It is written across the front of my medical records in big red letters. I get a red bracelet for allergies anytime I go to a hospital and yet I have had to stop doctors or nurses from swabbing me down with iodine more than once. :glare:

[GSOchristie]

My son is allergic to red dye, thankfully not anaphylactically, but it makes him act like an utter lunatic and makes his eczema flare up. My mother refused to believe this was a "real" allergy and gave him a pop tart. Having to deal with him for the next four hours thoroughly convinced her that it was, in fact, a problem ;). I have to repeatedly *remind* my family that no, he can't even have one bag of Skittles or one purple Popsicle, and then they act like I'm being paranoid:glare:.