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Food allergy complaint- adults who don't believe or ?


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I have no idea why so many people don't understand allergies or Celiac disease for that matter. My dd is allergic to citric acid. Yes, this has been verified by an allergist who is an MD and has a board certification in allergy and immunology. This makes her allergic to many things, including all citrus fruits, all berry fruits, tomatoes, some other fruits and vegetables and more than that= citric acid is used as either a flavoring or a preservative in many foods. She reacts to it- first turns red, then very shortly afterwards gets itcy and if she has had more than a bite or two, starts getting wheezy and short of breath. Not a joke at all.

 

Now I didn't think I would find so many people who are not evil, not all together stupid or anything like that who just don't get it. Some of the food that it is often used in are baked goods of all kinds. At our local Publix, we can only get a few of the bakery items and never things like cupcakes or most other cakes. Yes, she can have the plain cheesecake or the chocolate cheesecake but no, she can't have the strawberry cheesecake. Yes, she can eat Pepperidge Farm Bread or Wonder Bread but no she can't eat Arnold's or Nature's Own. It has nothing to do with artificial or natural sources. All types of citric acid are the problem. Yet, dd who is nearly 16 has adults arguing with her and urging her to eat food she cannot eat. She gets really annoyed by this plus a few teens who think it is somehow funny that she can't eat Publix cupcakes. Grow up people! Grown-ups, learn some very basic chemistry- it makes no difference if it is citric acid from an orange, a tomato or a fungus- all of them make her react since she is allergic to the citric acid!

 

Just in case anyone doesn't know- having a child who gets anaphalactic reactions is no fun. It is hard enough without thoughtlessness.

 

DD is anaphalactic to wasps and citric acid, otherwise allergic to two types of medications and also peanuts.

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:w00t::grouphug:

 

We've been there. I had an otherwise-normal-seeming music teacher tell me that DD11 could not possibly be allergic to potatos. That potatos were the "elemental food" - the basis for life and every human being could eat them. :001_huh:

 

I've often thought DD11 was an alien..... :w00t:

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:grouphug:

 

I am right there with you. My ds is lactose intolerant. He is not anaphylactic, so we very thankful to not have that worry. Nevertheless, he does have terrible pain with even very small amounts of milk. People just don't get it. There have been those who argued with me or with ds about whether or not he can have cheese (NO) or margarine (NO unless it's actually dairy-free), etc. It gets tiring.

 

:grouphug:

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Oh my goodness. That is awful. People understand my older dd's allergy to shellfish. I get the "Oh shellfish, that is dangerous." If they hear that my younger dd is allergic to apples, they look at me strangely and ask how someone can be allergic to apples. It is very strange. People can't imagine that and look at me like I'm weird and overprotective, but dying from scallops somehow makes more sense.

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I didn't read your whole post, i'm sorry, but i wanted to share my vent.

 

Ds was anaphylactic to dairy. Obviously this meant milk, yogurt, ice cream, fresh from the farm milk, etc. He reacted to tiny amount of protein in a med. He was deadly allergic.

 

Well, my step-mother made it her life goal to try and sneak him dairy. She refused to believe that his cream cheese bagel was made with 10000000% dairy-free ingredients! She said multiple times that he is only allergic when it's convenient for me. It was a scary few years.

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I didn't read your whole post, i'm sorry, but i wanted to share my vent.

 

Ds was anaphylactic to dairy. Obviously this meant milk, yogurt, ice cream, fresh from the farm milk, etc. He reacted to tiny amount of protein in a med. He was deadly allergic.

 

Well, my step-mother made it her life goal to try and sneak him dairy. She refused to believe that his cream cheese bagel was made with 10000000% dairy-free ingredients! She said multiple times that he is only allergic when it's convenient for me. It was a scary few years.

 

That woman would not come within 1,000 feet of my child. And we would NOT be eating anything at her house or that she brought into MY house. :glare:

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I think one of the problems is that many middle-aged and older people grew up in a time when few people were allergic to anything. Or at least, few allergies were actually diagnosed. The small number of situations they did know of usually were the fodder for sitcoms on television, and certainly didn't involve trips to the hospital. So they have trouble taking the problem seriously.

 

Combine that lack of personal experience with the number of overly indulgent parents I have come across who would proclaim an "allergy" to explain anything they didn't want their child to eat or anything the child didn't like to eat. I am sad to say that I have probably seen this over a dozen times in my life. I know it wasn't true, because I have seen the parent later give the child the very food they had told others the child couldn't have. I had one woman tell me that she didn't trust Mrs. X's cleanliness with her cooking so she always told Mrs. X that her kids were allergic to whatever Mrs. X had brought. Totally inappropriate, I know, but I have seen it happen.

 

Add in the misguided administrators who come up with draconian and often ineffective restrictions for school and club functions. For example, no nut products of any kind when the child in question actually had a problem with gluten. (Happened in dd's Girl Scout troop:confused:)

 

And finally, the number of parents of allergic children who leave it up to someone else to keep their child safe. At one Brownie function, the mom of a highly allergic child dropped her off at an international dinner (where many people were bringing recipes that none of us knew much about). The featured speaker, who was going through the buffet line just ahead of the child, recognized her medic alert bracelet and tried to help her select safe foods. The mom was nowhere to be found during the event. She hadn't asked anyone else to keep an eye on her 6yo dd. How could she expect anyone else to be concerned about keeping her dd safe, if she didn't seem to be all that worried about it? (I about popped a gasket over this one!)

 

I'm not saying it is right, but I am saying that I do think there are a number of factors that come into play in answering the op's question regarding why some adults don't believe children's food allergies are real. Unfortunately it all adds up to being a serious health risk for the allergic children and a major point of contention for many of the adults associated with the situation.

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At one Brownie function, the mom of a highly allergic child dropped her off at an international dinner (where many people were bringing recipes that none of us knew much about). The featured speaker, who was going through the buffet line just ahead of the child, recognized her medic alert bracelet and tried to help her select safe foods. The mom was nowhere to be found during the event. She hadn't asked anyone else to keep an eye on her 6yo dd.

 

:eek:

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I have no idea why so many people don't understand allergies or Celiac disease for that matter. My dd is allergic to citric acid. Yes, this has been verified by an allergist who is an MD and has a board certification in allergy and immunology. This makes her allergic to many things, including all citrus fruits, all berry fruits, tomatoes, some other fruits and vegetables and more than that= citric acid is used as either a flavoring or a preservative in many foods. She reacts to it- first turns red, then very shortly afterwards gets itcy and if she has had more than a bite or two, starts getting wheezy and short of breath. Not a joke at all.

 

Now I didn't think I would find so many people who are not evil, not all together stupid or anything like that who just don't get it. Some of the food that it is often used in are baked goods of all kinds. At our local Publix, we can only get a few of the bakery items and never things like cupcakes or most other cakes. Yes, she can have the plain cheesecake or the chocolate cheesecake but no, she can't have the strawberry cheesecake. Yes, she can eat Pepperidge Farm Bread or Wonder Bread but no she can't eat Arnold's or Nature's Own. It has nothing to do with artificial or natural sources. All types of citric acid are the problem. Yet, dd who is nearly 16 has adults arguing with her and urging her to eat food she cannot eat. She gets really annoyed by this plus a few teens who think it is somehow funny that she can't eat Publix cupcakes. Grow up people! Grown-ups, learn some very basic chemistry- it makes no difference if it is citric acid from an orange, a tomato or a fungus- all of them make her react since she is allergic to the citric acid!

 

Just in case anyone doesn't know- having a child who gets anaphalactic reactions is no fun. It is hard enough without thoughtlessness.

 

DD is anaphalactic to wasps and citric acid, otherwise allergic to two types of medications and also peanuts.

 

ds 2 has anaphalactic reactions to bees -- i know the pain ( though for her it has to be worse, citric acid has to be so so hard to avoid) :grouphug:

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Well, my step-mother made it her life goal to try and sneak him dairy. She refused to believe that his cream cheese bagel was made with 10000000% dairy-free ingredients! She said multiple times that he is only allergic when it's convenient for me. It was a scary few years.

 

OK, I just do not understand this behavior. And we hear about it so very often. Even if somebody thinks allergies are overstated or exaggerated, even if somebody doesn't want to bother finding foods the allergic person can eat, why would she go out of her way to disprove a stated allergy? I would expect some people to be lazy or even argumentative, but I just do not understand why anybody would make a mission out of tricking people into eating things.

 

Between this thread and the narcissism discussion, I'm rapidly losing faith in people.

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I think one of the problems is that many middle-aged and older people grew up in a time when few people were allergic to anything. Or at least, few allergies were actually diagnosed. The small number of situations they did know of usually were the fodder for sitcoms on television, and certainly didn't involve trips to the hospital. So they have trouble taking the problem seriously.

 

Combine that lack of personal experience with the number of overly indulgent parents I have come across who would proclaim an "allergy" to explain anything they didn't want their child to eat or anything the child didn't like to eat. I am sad to say that I have probably seen this over a dozen times in my life. I know it wasn't true, because I have seen the parent later give the child the very food they had told others the child couldn't have. I had one woman tell me that she didn't trust Mrs. X's cleanliness with her cooking so she always told Mrs. X that her kids were allergic to whatever Mrs. X had brought. Totally inappropriate, I know, but I have seen it happen.

 

Add in the misguided administrators who come up with draconian and often ineffective restrictions for school and club functions. For example, no nut products of any kind when the child in question actually had a problem with gluten. (Happened in dd's Girl Scout troop:confused:)

 

And finally, the number of parents of allergic children who leave it up to someone else to keep their child safe. At one Brownie function, the mom of a highly allergic child dropped her off at an international dinner (where many people were bringing recipes that none of us knew much about). The featured speaker, who was going through the buffet line just ahead of the child, recognized her medic alert bracelet and tried to help her select safe foods. The mom was nowhere to be found during the event. She hadn't asked anyone else to keep an eye on her 6yo dd. How could she expect anyone else to be concerned about keeping her dd safe, if she didn't seem to be all that worried about it? (I about popped a gasket over this one!)

 

I'm not saying it is right, but I am saying that I do think there are a number of factors that come into play in answering the op's question regarding why some adults don't believe children's food allergies are real. Unfortunately it all adds up to being a serious health risk for the allergic children and a major point of contention for many of the adults associated with the situation.

 

when i worked in a youth shelter for children in CPS custody and out of the home -- i had a mom try to tell my her 2 kids were allergic "to white milk but if you put cholate in it they can have that, that love that" -- bad parents make life hard for good parents all the way around

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I've seen it and it makes me :cursing:!

 

We no longer eat at any church functions. It has become VERY old having the church cooks constantly berating me to "try this, try that, oh this couldn't possibly hurt you it only has a little flour", blah, blah, blah...plus there are the people that maintain that allergies are "psychosomatic'.

 

DD has treated a number of children and adults for anaphylaxis as a medic and so she now boycotts church "food" based functions on principal and not because she expects that they have draconian rules about what can and cannot be brought, but because of the kitchen committees rotten treatment of those that do have food allergies.

 

GRRRRRR......

 

I find it easier and healthier to be "anti-social"! :tongue_smilie:

 

Faith

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I think one of the problems is that many middle-aged and older people grew up in a time when few people were allergic to anything. Or at least, few allergies were actually diagnosed. The small number of situations they did know of usually were the fodder for sitcoms on television, and certainly didn't involve trips to the hospital. So they have trouble taking the problem seriously.

 

 

:iagree: My parents are this way, they are bright loving people who just don't get it. They are also in their 70s. I have gluten sensitivity and they don't get how much food contains gluten. Yet they still bring us cookies and cupcakes, and cake. My sister has peanut allergy and she sent her peanut butter fudge in the mail. She didn't think it was severe enough to affect her if she just didn't the peanut butter.

 

We ate bread and peanuts growing up, my sister and I did not develop allergies until we were adults. My dad has health problems probably related to food allergies, but refuses to change his eating habits. Looking back genetically there are a few issue my great-grandmother had that were probably food related. It could be what she died from, although that was 30 years ago.

 

It's a minor annoyance for me because I can eat gluten, but I have to limit it or I pay for it. I cannot imagine dealing with a life threatening allergy and being around people who just don't get it. :grouphug:

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I think one of the problems is that many middle-aged and older people grew up in a time when few people were allergic to anything. Or at least, few allergies were actually diagnosed. The small number of situations they did know of usually were the fodder for sitcoms on television, and certainly didn't involve trips to the hospital. So they have trouble taking the problem seriously.

 

 

:iagree:Snipping to save space but agree with everything! In my lifetime awareness of food allergies has increased so much. I can think of one person in my childhood who had allergies, a cousin who was allergic to chocolate. I remembered it because she got a white bunny at Easter which seemed so exotic.

 

I'm not making light of allergies, but relating how things have changed, whether it's the number of people with allergies, or my perception.

 

Now we have several friends who have deadly nut allergies, and one who can't have any corn or cane products (not deadly but bad eczema). Many friends who can't have gluten and one who can't have any grains at all. My daughter is allergic to milk as a beverage, and some (but not all) milk-containing products.

 

Add to that people like a relative of mine whose allergies seem to flow with current food fads and her own moods. People like that harm the credibility of folks with real allergy problems.

 

It shouldn't be complicated, but for some people it is.

 

And I'm shaking my head at the story of the 6-year-old at the Girl Scout function. That is a real parenting fail!

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((HUGS)) I get it. I'm in both "worlds." Allergies and intolerances.

 

Intolerances are even harder, IMO.

 

My Lainey is peanut allergic. (Epi-Pen and all!)

 

My Xander is peanut and almond allergic. Dairy, soy, corn, egg, blueberry, carrot intolerant. We are currently doing a gluten free trial.

 

My Solomon is peanut and almond allergic.

 

We get the most push back about the "intolerances." Like Oh.. well if he can breathe, what does it matter? Well he will have diarrhea for days with one slip up.

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I felt horrible our second week of co-op. It's a nut-free campus due to a couple of children having life threatening allergies. That particular morning we were in a hurry so I told my youngest dd to pack her lunch. She packed, among other things, a peanut butter sandwich and a no-bake cookie. She told me but it didn't register until talking to one of the moms about her daughter's allergy during 1st hour. I was apologetic and she was understanding. I felt like a jack-ass, though. I don't understand how someone can knowingly be uncooperative when it comes to this stuff.

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It is frustrating. I know SO many people who just do not understand what allergy means, like no, you can not eat cheese if you are allergic to dairy (lactose intolerant and some with just a sensitivity, maybe). And no, stuffing made from a mix is STILL GLUTEN even though it's not in bread form. We have some serious lack of knowledge of basic food science in this country. Or lack of common sense. Maybe both.

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When I told my parents I have celiac they came over that weekend with two boxes of Dunkin' Donuts. They put them in front of me and my dad said, "Let's see how strong your will is to stick with your new diet. I'm sure you'll deal with a little tummy ache for the yumminess of a glazed donut. Haha."

 

I will happily say that my parents have come a LONG way in the past year.

 

 

My mil is always asking me when I'll be able to eat just a little bit of gluten. You know, when I "get stronger" She makes it sound like I can't eat gluten because I'm just too weak.

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I didn't read your whole post, i'm sorry, but i wanted to share my vent.

 

Ds was anaphylactic to dairy. Obviously this meant milk, yogurt, ice cream, fresh from the farm milk, etc. He reacted to tiny amount of protein in a med. He was deadly allergic.

 

Well, my step-mother made it her life goal to try and sneak him dairy. She refused to believe that his cream cheese bagel was made with 10000000% dairy-free ingredients! She said multiple times that he is only allergic when it's convenient for me. It was a scary few years.

 

I wonder if she's related to my in-laws. Seriously. We dealt with that for YEARS. They're doing better with the gluten intolerance, though. There's special stuff they can buy for that. :glare:

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There with ya. DD18 can't eat any food touched by latex gloves or be in a room with balloons or fresh duct tape (if it's been sitting around for a while and not disturbed, she does okay usually). It's a pain to ask at each restaurant, "May we see your glove box?" Some restaurant chains have a national policy to use nitrile or vinyl gloves but if the individual restaurant runs out, they are likely to send someone out to the store to "buy gloves" and despite national policy, that employee is likely to come back with a box of latex gloves.

 

Big huge pain.

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I'm lactose intolerant. People have said "do you know there are tablets you can take?"

Well, they don't always work for me, so I won't be eating that. I have found organic doesn't bother me as much, so I can have a little, but there is no way I'll be asking if organic ingredients were used!!

 

I eat my food before I go to functions where I have no control over the food, then nibble on a carrot there.

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When I told my parents I have celiac they came over that weekend with two boxes of Dunkin' Donuts. They put them in front of me and my dad said, "Let's see how strong your will is to stick with your new diet. I'm sure you'll deal with a little tummy ache for the yumminess of a glazed donut. Haha."

 

I will happily say that my parents have come a LONG way in the past year.

 

 

My mil is always asking me when I'll be able to eat just a little bit of gluten. You know, when I "get stronger" She makes it sound like I can't eat gluten because I'm just too weak.

:grouphug: That sucks.

When we found out my youngest has celiac, my relatives said, "I bet you are too because you were always so little and so sick and had so many tummy troubles." They always knew there was "something" wrong with me, but my rural community had no way to identify or treat it. I was just little and sick. It turns out, in our family of large, robust kids, there is usually one that is little and sick.

 

:grouphug: I'm glad to hear you have more understanding now.

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I have seen the fake allergy bit or whatever and you know what? I just didn't give the kid the food. I was in charge of a VBS kitchen for two years while we were in Belgium. I made absolutely sure to have totally safe food for the allergic children. THere was no way I was going to try and test them or quiz them or anything like that. I made sure I knew who they were and went and talked with them at the beginning of the week and told them I knew about their allergies and they would be getting safe food.

 

BOth my dd and later my dh have what is probably peanut intolerance, not a true allergy. That is the only food problem my dd had until she turned 15. That was after I had been a parent for over 20 years and dealt with lots of kids in lots of situations. So for over 20 years, I had the common sense to not tease, not encourage, not test, or in any way endanger anyone who claims an allergy or intolerance. I don't even get why anyone insists on trying- how does it hurt you if some kid won't eat X? What is truly puzzling to me is why people actually are respectful of my issues with food- I can't eat certain things in more than small amounts because of my coumadin. So they believe that I can get either clotting or hemorraghing problems with certain foods but try to insist my dd eat some bread with a certain preservative. I think in this case it may be a reaction to oh, there are people who only eat organic or something like that and that is so bogus. What is funny is that citric acid is organic or can be organic and is used by many organic food producers and she ends up eating what is typically considered my junky food. LIke she can't eat Krispy Kreme but can eat Dunkin Donuts. She can't eat McDonald's fries but can eat Burger King's.

 

I know some of you really understand. Lactic acid, corn, gluten, and I am sure there are others beside the citric acid that are in all sorts of products you wouldn't think of. They understand citrus fruits but the understanding ends there= the pastor's wife was trying to encourage her to eat the tomato products which are doubly bad- tomatoes have citric acid in large quantities and then they preserve it with more citric acid.

 

As to why there are more food allergies? Some scientists think it is because we have gotten so much cleaner. Allergies are basically an overreaction of the immune system and their rise has been equaled by the rise of autoimmune disease in general. We no longer die from strep and staph normally, nor from any childhood diseases, nor from smallpox and polio. I think that may have something to do with it. All I know is that in our family, both sides and everyone in them had some type of allergy. It all came together in my youngest and made her super allergic.

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:grouphug: I am having trouble with some of my relatives, as well. I honestly cannot fathom it. At least what my child is allergic to, are not even close to being favorite foods, but it is very challenging when the exact same food is offered over, and over, and over again. The next time it happens, I am going to have to have a calm conversation. I lost it once and yelled when two foods were offered approximately 5 minutes after I reminded them the child could not eat them. There does seem to be an inability to remember what foods are made of. It is really hard for me to grasp.

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There does seem to be an inability to remember what foods are made of. It is really hard for me to grasp.

 

I think part of it for the truly ignorant, as opposed to the antagonistic, is that you really have to read food labels. I avoid wheat and cannot believe how much wheat is in products you wouldn't consider.

 

Pringles! Why is there wheat in Pringles? Suddenly, I can't have my favorite potato chip.

 

I envy people who can grocery shop without dissecting every food label. I never buy a new product without knowing what is truly in it.

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My dd and I don't expect people to read or to accomodate her allergies. We know it is hard to do. But what happens is that she is at youth group or some other activity and someone brings in pizza and cupcakes and she doesn't eat. She knows she is allergic and doesn't need anyone to read labels, She reads them, if necessary. Many times, she has done the research herself. She keeps a little notebook with what she can eat where. I just don't get why some adults would argue with her and try to encourage her to eat food she already told them she can't.

 

One of these adults works in a preschool.:001_huh: I shudder to think what she does with any kid who has an allergy there.

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That woman would not come within 1,000 feet of my child. And we would NOT be eating anything at her house or that she brought into MY house. :glare:

 

Agreed, and I would make mincemeat out of her. My dh has said abt our peanut/nut allergy ild: if someone willfully does something to cause her rxn and then needs an ambulance, they better call TWO. Some people are so stupid, all you can do is make them afraid to harm your child. Yep.. I am quite sad this is so, because I am not generally a violent person. Attempted murder against my child, though, brings out,my less than generous side!

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My dd and I don't expect people to read or to accomodate her allergies. We know it is hard to do. But what happens is that she is at youth group or some other activity and someone brings in pizza and cupcakes and she doesn't eat. She knows she is allergic and doesn't need anyone to read labels, She reads them, if necessary. Many times, she has done the research herself. She keeps a little notebook with what she can eat where. I just don't get why some adults would argue with her and try to encourage her to eat food she already told them she can't.

 

One of these adults works in a preschool.:001_huh: I shudder to think what she does with any kid who has an allergy there.

 

Tell her, I have this rat poison, you want a drink?(Dont REALLY have it.) Then say...oh you can't drink it? What? I think you can! Oh I am crazy and evil to suggest it? Yeah, agreed! Don't ever suggest an allergic child should eat what could kill him again, because if you do, now you know what that makes you!

Prob you could charged w something for this. But I have been known to educate. ;)

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I guess I'm not the only one with food/IL issues:grouphug:

My FIL knows more about Celiac disease than my daughters gastro-enterologist and the hospitals pediatric dietitian because (drumroll) he bought a copy of Celiac Disease for Dummies.

 

Even more infuriating for me is medical professionals that just don't get it. The dentist who says that the kids can spit the gluten out afterwards (...right), the hygienist who is put off by having to check ingredients or the late night pharmacist who kept asking if it really mattered if the medicine had gluten - no matter how I explained Celiac disease to her.

 

Come on people: 1 in a 140 people have this condition. Welcome to planet Earth.

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I think one of the problems is that many middle-aged and older people grew up in a time when few people were allergic to anything. Or at least, few allergies were actually diagnosed. The small number of situations they did know of usually were the fodder for sitcoms on television, and certainly didn't involve trips to the hospital. So they have trouble taking the problem seriously.

 

:iagree: With that whole post, actually.

 

I think another complication is knowing people with an allergy that isn't life threatening. I know a couple of kids who have peanut allergies that are relatively mild. Obviously, they can't have peanuts. But if they did, they would just need to be watched, not rushed to a hospital. Or knowing people who eat gluten free for long term health issues - I know people who eat gf because the gluten greatly exacerbates their season allergies. If they got gluten, that wouldn't be good, but you wouldn't see a reaction right away.

 

I know the allergy parents feel very frustrated with the non-allergy parents sometimes. Often with good reason. There's a lot of people who seem maliciously, willfully ignorant. But also, sometimes, it's hard for us to navigate the ins and outs of every kid since there is such a range of allergy issues and reactions, as well as reasons (allergy, intolerance, long term health, behavioral, and just choice) for special diets.

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I have no idea why so many people don't understand allergies or Celiac disease for that matter. My dd is allergic to citric acid. Yes, this has been verified by an allergist who is an MD and has a board certification in allergy and immunology. This makes her allergic to many things, including all citrus fruits, all berry fruits, tomatoes, some other fruits and vegetables and more than that= citric acid is used as either a flavoring or a preservative in many foods. She reacts to it- first turns red, then very shortly afterwards gets itcy and if she has had more than a bite or two, starts getting wheezy and short of breath. Not a joke at all.

 

Now I didn't think I would find so many people who are not evil, not all together stupid or anything like that who just don't get it. Some of the food that it is often used in are baked goods of all kinds. At our local Publix, we can only get a few of the bakery items and never things like cupcakes or most other cakes. Yes, she can have the plain cheesecake or the chocolate cheesecake but no, she can't have the strawberry cheesecake. Yes, she can eat Pepperidge Farm Bread or Wonder Bread but no she can't eat Arnold's or Nature's Own. It has nothing to do with artificial or natural sources. All types of citric acid are the problem. Yet, dd who is nearly 16 has adults arguing with her and urging her to eat food she cannot eat. She gets really annoyed by this plus a few teens who think it is somehow funny that she can't eat Publix cupcakes. Grow up people! Grown-ups, learn some very basic chemistry- it makes no difference if it is citric acid from an orange, a tomato or a fungus- all of them make her react since she is allergic to the citric acid!

 

Just in case anyone doesn't know- having a child who gets anaphalactic reactions is no fun. It is hard enough without thoughtlessness.

 

DD is anaphalactic to wasps and citric acid, otherwise allergic to two types of medications and also peanuts.

:grouphug::grouphug: I just wanted to give you a hug. Dh is allergic to sulfites. So, he can only eat the things with citric acid! We are doing opposite brands. It is just really hard to deal with an anaphalactic allergy to a preservative,particularly when you are out in public.

 

I have no idea why people are so mean or thoughtless. We have somewhat the opposite reaction--almost no one wants to have us over bc they don't want to poison dh. I keep saying, if you are worried, just do plain roast chicken and mashed potatoes and an undressed salad. I've had folks respond that they can't possibly cook something so simple for a guest! Okay. . .

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Wow! How did you diagnose an anaphylactic reaction to citric acid? Was it through testing, or trial and error? That is scary to me. (genuine concern and question, not snark)

 

I wonder if people's problem with that specific allergy is that it is a component of food. Maybe it is easier to understand being allergic to the whole tomato than to citric acid, you know? Especially if they see that your dd eats some french fries or bread and not others, they probably are mentally lumping it in with pickiness. I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm just saying that some people have a hard enough time believing in whole food allergies, so I can see why they'd be even more skeptical of a tiny component allergy.

 

The whole mass of people with food intolerances (myself included) surely make it harder for those with true allergies. I buy nondairy everything, and have used dairy substitutes for 25 years. Most people who know me, know I don't have dairy. But they might see me eat sour cream enchiladas at Mom's Night Out because I decide that stomach cramping and a headache are worth it that night. And I would never turn down food at an acquaintance's house, because I wouldn't want to make a host feel bad. But that probably furthers the argument that some people who say they can't have a food, actually can. I've tried to become more careful of saying "I avoid dairy", rather than "I can't have dairy".

 

:grouphug: to all of you with relatives testing you and your kids. That sucks.

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I think part of it for the truly ignorant, as opposed to the antagonistic, is that you really have to read food labels. I avoid wheat and cannot believe how much wheat is in products you wouldn't consider.

 

In my kid's case, it is the same fairly obvious foods that my relatives didn't understand, not something abnormal "surprise" like prunes in chocolate chip cookies. More like not knowing peanut butter is from peanuts or bread is from wheat.

 

Also the reactions have been manageable, not involving anaphylaxis.

Edited by stripe
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plain roast chicken and mashed potatoes and an undressed salad.

 

But not boxed mashed taters, right? My sis is allergic to sulfites, and I seem to recall that is one of the things she can't have, but I could be forgetting.

 

I'm surprised at the dressing thing every time she and I talk about it. There are some that don't bother her, but others that do. Balsalmic is a no-no, but white is ok. She drinks wine without a problem, but can't do bottled lemon juice.

 

 

I'm one of those annoying people who /tries/ to eat gluten-free not because of a diagnosed problem but in an attempt to determine whether it plays a role in some nebulous health issues I have [attention, allergies, lethargy]. My dh has been avoiding dairy due to increasingly worsening allergies; he's shocked every time he finds something with milk that he's not expecting, like those almond crackers we had the other day. Ooops, sorry, honey, I bought those a while ago cuz they're gluten-free; wasn't looking for dairy then. :(

 

I try to be respectful of my friends' allergies. I have a couple friends who have to be gluten-free. I'd rather buy them fresh new food that I know hasn't been contaminated in my house than risk it. OTOH, I was stressed and pressed for time the other day, and packed the mother-load of a gluten-y lunch for my boys and I [pizza for the boys and salad with chicken tenders for me; leftovers] when me met at the farm for apple-picking. It wasn't even a sharing issue, I just hate having food around them that I know could make them sick. :(

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And I would never turn down food at an acquaintance's house, because I wouldn't want to make a host feel bad.

I would never want someone to eat something at my house that they're sensitive or intolerant to. I'd be very upset that you 1) think it's ok to make yourself sick (migraine & stomach cramps counts as sick), and that 2) you think I can't handle you not eating something I served.

 

ETA: I realize some people can't handle it (the same ones that don't think allergies exist, try to get you to eat something you're allergic to, or think you'll outgrow it), but don't do it (eat it) for them, do it (avoid it) for you.

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((HUGS)) I get it. I'm in both "worlds." Allergies and intolerances.

 

Intolerances are even harder, IMO.

 

My Lainey is peanut allergic. (Epi-Pen and all!)

 

My Xander is peanut and almond allergic. Dairy, soy, corn, egg, blueberry, carrot intolerant. We are currently doing a gluten free trial.

 

My Solomon is peanut and almond allergic.

 

We get the most push back about the "intolerances." Like Oh.. well if he can breathe, what does it matter? Well he will have diarrhea for days with one slip up.

I had someone (here maybe? I don't remember where I was) give me grief about allergies and intolerances not to long ago. If one doesn't require a trip to the ER after allergy exposure it is not a true allergy. Or so I was told.

 

Dd has an obscure allergy. Bromide. This limits supermarket confections, store bought bread choices and swimming pools that she can use. Luckily we have not entered the life-threatening stage. But as many folks know it may only be a matter of time.

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But not boxed mashed taters, right? My sis is allergic to sulfites, and I seem to recall that is one of the things she can't have, but I could be forgetting.

 

I'm surprised at the dressing thing every time she and I talk about it. There are some that don't bother her, but others that do. Balsalmic is a no-no, but white is ok. She drinks wine without a problem, but can't do bottled lemon juice.

 

:(

Yes, only plain potatoes. Most folks with a sulfite allergy have a threshold that they can handle. Some folks are just sensitive and get headaches, and tummy problems. Unfortunately, dh is anaphalatically allergic below the threshold that the manufacturers have to report. So we read a lot of labels. Sulfites occur naturally in grape skin. My dh can't have any wine at all. Bottle lemon juice is what sent him to the hospital!

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When I told my parents I have celiac they came over that weekend with two boxes of Dunkin' Donuts. They put them in front of me and my dad said, "Let's see how strong your will is to stick with your new diet. I'm sure you'll deal with a little tummy ache for the yumminess of a glazed donut. Haha."

 

I will happily say that my parents have come a LONG way in the past year.

 

 

My mil is always asking me when I'll be able to eat just a little bit of gluten. You know, when I "get stronger" She makes it sound like I can't eat gluten because I'm just too weak.

I'm so sorry.

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And I would never turn down food at an acquaintance's house, because I wouldn't want to make a host feel bad.

 

I am honestly not trying to berate you or be snarky. I do have to ask though--

 

I honestly cannot fathom actually choosing to poison myself so that a perfectly healthy host can avoid feeling bad???

 

Your post said you will actually get a migraine in addition to cramping? Do you really think your host wants you to pay for it with all those hours of pain?

 

My son is VERY stoic about pain. He is athletic and has been matter-of-fact about injuries. When he broke his arm this spring he didn't even tell me, but kept on ripsticking, and then showed me the swelling later. But this strong boy is reduced to a whimpering ball of curled-up, clutching misery with exposure to lactose. I cannot imagine anyone thinking it is okay for him to experience that so that a host will not feel bad.

 

(I know you said that is your own choice--but that is actually what many people do expect of my son, and seeing your post, knowing you actually choose that pain, blew my mind.)

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That's reall awful. I can certainly understand your frustration!!! I was shocked by a thread here recently about this very subject. I don't understand why so many don't realize how serious this is. What, is it made up just so someone can be difficult? seriously, why would someone not believe?

 

I have had to deal with my frustrations from ignorant people too many times before. It's frustrating and NOT worth the emotional energy spent.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I have never figured that out, either. :glare:

 

None of us in my family have those kinds of food issues, but I have friends who do, and I've always tried to pay attention to what they say.

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