Military homeschoolers - how do you handle different states?

[HollyDay]

It is time to put in our dream-sheet. There are so many choices and so many of them look a bit frightening based on homeschool laws. Even if we chose a great location (or 2) there is no guarantee we will get what we want - or perhaps, what we are comfortable working with.

 

So, you more experienced moms in this area - how do you handle the stress of the impending move?

 

What if you get sent to a state that is not homeschool friendly?

 

How do you handle the wait and the constant changes ("you are going here." "no, you are going there". "how does "over here sound". "we definitely want you there").

 

How about being separated due to unaccompanied tours??

 

Oh my. Thanks!!!

[homeschoolmomof6]

My dh has been in the military for 21 years and we've never had a case of ("you are going here." "no, you are going there". "how does "over here sound". "we definitely want you there"). What branch of the service are you in? I guess that probably makes a difference.

 

We solved alot of the homeschooling issues by spending 12 years overseas. There are no rules to govern homeschooling overseas. Is overseas an option?

 

Moving never stresses me out, but I suppose that's because I love to move. I love the excitement involved with the unknown. plus its the only time I get to really purge all the useless stuff I have laying all over the houses. I guess I"m not really much help. Sorry.

 

As far as the homeschooling in other states go; do some research on line once you find out where you're going. Most bases have homeschool groups and the ladies at your new base will be able to help you out with the state laws and getting in the required paperwork.

Blessings,Amanda

Blessings,

Amanda

[HollyDay]

Thanks Amanda! Overseas is not an option for an accompanied tour. We have never had what I would call a smooth transfer. Our most recent orders were 2 months late coming. We couldnt put the house on the market, couldnt do any research or do much planning because it was always "in the works". The transfer before that, changed the day dh was due to leave (he was going 3 months before us for training).

 

Moving, selling house, buying house, long drive, etc. has always been stressful, but now with kids, dogs, stuff, and just flat being older, it is no longer a "grand adventure" but a "royal pain in the neck".

[Marie in Oh]

and we moved from CA which was low reg, but still scarey because the districts were not always so supportive despite the laws, or lack thereof. THere are a few states that are really restrictive-- PA, CO, MA- I can't think of others. HSLDA has some good info about the restrictiveness of the different states. We have friends moving to CO this week and I think they are on the high side of restriction, but ya know, you just learn to deal with the laws. The Springs is a wonderful place to live otherwise, so I am not sure I would necessarily move somewhere just bacause they have more regs. OH is bad copared to CA, but not so much that I want to move. So, I wouldn't let it be a huge contributing factor.

 

Yes, moving with kids, animals, etc. is so stressful. It was difficult when we came here, but kids are resiliant and if you've been a mil wife for too long, you are too, I am sure. Actually, we've been here 3 years and I am getting that itch to move. Isn't that rediculous, but it is habit.

 

Hope you get you dream of dream sheets. Where are you now?

[Mary in NJ]

Holly,

 

I have not read the other replys prior to posting my message. I'm sure you will get some great advice from the Military Homeschool families here!

 

This is our experience. We have been around the military since 1986 and have moved soooo many times. The last 12 moves have been in 12 years. We move on the average of once a year. My husband's military job keeps us on the go. We have learned long ago, that it is not a done deal with military orders until we are actually moving INTO the new house. And then, they can cut new orders and you are on your way again! It is hard to get excited about a "good" military assignment, because we know that it could go to someone else. But, we have only had a couple of assignments that we were not thrilled with. For the most part, a military assignment is what you make of it. You may be somewhere that has had horrible things said about the location, but you may find the location to be superb. It truly is all what you make of it.

 

Homeschooling has helped with a lot of the stresses of moving. Our children have the same teacher, same books, they pick up where they left off. We always look ahead to our new duty station and find activities that our children like. We sign them up right away for dance, fencing, scouts, swimming, music lessons, etc. This helps with the continuity in their lives. They learn to roll with the punches. The children count how many good moves we have had, and feel blessed that there have been so few "bad" moves (broken furniture, run down base housing, etc.)

 

As far as choosing states that are homeschool friendly, we usually roll with the punches on this one. We have ALWAYS belonged to HSLDA. Whether we are schooling in Texas which is very hands off, or in a highly regulated state. We DO NOT let our membership lapse. We always meet the local states requirements, and join a group that has a large number of military homeschoolers.

 

The military can be a good life. When we look back over the years, we realize how many different learning opportunities our children have had due to our military assignment. They learned to ski in the Alps, have seen the sites where the reformation took place in Germany, seen the re-creation of "Washington's Crossing" across the Delaware River, seen the tulips bloom in Holland, Anne Frank's house, etc. Many benefits to being a military homeschool family. The downside is deployments.

 

My husband has been deployed for a long, long time. Yes, it was hard, nothing easy about it. I got through it one day at a time. Most of the women on my street (on a military base) had husbands deployed. We banded together and helped each other out. There were only two of us who homeschooled and we pitched in and gave each other a hand. My husband was great about encouraging letters and emails. We both felt that homeschooling helped our kids get through the deployment so well. When he came home for the 2 week R&R (military talk for rest and relaxation) the kids did not have school. When he returned in early spring, the kids were done with school until their dad had used up his leave. Our school years are planned around moves.

 

This is a lot of rambling thoughts. But from one military wife to another, I'm here to help you, answer questions or give advice. I don't know it all, but I'm sure some of the other military wives have been able to give their insights. Hang it there - I'm here for you. You never know, I may need an encouraging word, and I'll come looking for you!:001_smile:

 

 

Joyfully,

Mary

[Mrs Mungo]

It is time to put in our dream-sheet. There are so many choices and so many of them look a bit frightening based on homeschool laws. Even if we chose a great location (or 2) there is no guarantee we will get what we want - or perhaps, what we are comfortable working with.

 

So, you more experienced moms in this area - how do you handle the stress of the impending move?

 

How do I handle the stress? Hubby seems to handle it by managing to be away during an impending move, I eat a lot of chocolate and cry on the phone to my friends.

 

What if you get sent to a state that is not homeschool friendly?

 

This hasn't happened to us, I guess I'd roll with the punches, like usual. Our current state (Hawaii) is mid-regulation, it's not terrible.

 

How do you handle the wait and the constant changes ("you are going here." "no, you are going there". "how does "over here sound". "we definitely want you there").

 

I completely ignore all of that. It doesn't mean anything until you have orders. If you really *want* a particular place you have to be proactive-he's gotta call the command, do a phone interview, get them to do a by-name request. It doesn't always work out but it helps. Our last move was accomplished 6 weeks after receiving our orders and hubby was deployed 3 of those weeks.

 

How about being separated due to unaccompanied tours??

 

We've had deployments but never an unaccompanied tour. This comes from carefully managing our overseas tours. Volunteer for enough accompanied overseas tours and you may not have to worry about it.

[Pretty in Pink]

we have yet to deal with an unaccompanied tour, but that is because dh spent so much time on deployment that his overseas "quota" was filled. we would volunteer for an accompanied duty assignment to avoid an unaccompanied one though if necessary, which i am sure it will be in the future.

 

i try not to get too caught up in the worry of "where are we going next." it's fun to talk about the different places, but i just don't think very much about it until we have orders in our hands. i focus on the details like booking TMO, inspection dates for base housing, or getting the house ready to sell, etc.

 

we pray about it, and figure we will end up where God wants us, and we'll deal w/ the HS laws when we get there. also, we are members of HSLDA and will be for the rest of dh's military career. we've never needed their assistance, but we do have peace of mind in knowing help is there should the need arise.

[summer]

I am not sure as I am not in the military or anything, but if you live on the military base, are you obligated to the local state laws on education?

[Mrs Mungo]

I am not sure as I am not in the military or anything, but if you live on the military base, are you obligated to the local state laws on education?

 

Yes, if you live within the US. No, if you live outside of the US (this is dealt with in the Status of Forces Agreements that allow us to have bases in those nations).

[Melanie]

First, I don't worry about where we're going until orders are cut. ;) As soon as my husband has orders, I start reading homeschool laws. We haven't lived in a state with horrible laws (a little unreasonable, maybe, but not impossible) so we haven't had any trouble there. We have homeschooled through deployments and short tours; I won't say it was easy, because it wasn't, but it wasn't beyond our capabilities, either. It helps to keep busy. We school like mad while we're apart, but we take a lot of time off before and after a separation. There seem to be more and more military homeschooling families these days; many installations have their own homeschool support groups.

[Gretchen in NJ]

Thanks Amanda! Overseas is not an option for an accompanied tour. We have never had what I would call a smooth transfer. Our most recent orders were 2 months late coming. We couldnt put the house on the market, couldnt do any research or do much planning because it was always "in the works". The transfer before that, changed the day dh was due to leave (he was going 3 months before us for training).

 

Moving, selling house, buying house, long drive, etc. has always been stressful, but now with kids, dogs, stuff, and just flat being older, it is no longer a "grand adventure" but a "royal pain in the neck".

 

Oh yuck. It doesn't sound like much fun. My family is not in the military, but I was so moved by yours and Mary in NJ's posts. :grouphug: I know this is only in cyber space, but it is all I can do for now.

 

I thank you and all the families who are supporting the men and women who keep our country safe.

 

I will be thinking, hoping, and praying you have a much smoother transfer this time.

:grouphug:

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I prayed a lot! :)

 

Dh was in the AF for 21 years, and we were married for 16 of those years (we're still married, LOL, he's just retired). We moved five times. Every time, we filled out our wish list, and every time we didn't end up anywhere on our list. One time, dh even said, "If they try to send me to Lost Angeles, I'll separate". Of course, we ended up in Los Angeles, and he didn't separate, and it was the absolute best assignment we had. Not only that, but we waited two extra years for a new assignment. It was the best two years of my life, I think, because of the friendships and the spiritual growth I experienced there. After that, I just figured that God had plans for us, and I trusted Him to know where we needed to be.

 

Yes, it was always a pain to move. Always stressful. But, we ended up learning so much at each place, and we made so many wonderful, life-long friends,. We never would have met them otherwise. It does test your faith (I'm still trying to figure out what He had in mind for me at our last assignment -- wondering if I missed it somehow) but I don't doubt that He was in it all the way.

 

The good thing to remember is that everything is temporary. We humans are amazingly adaptable. We can put up with anything as long as we know that it will end. :) If I hated my housing, or my stove, or my neighborhood, I just remembered that it would end.

 

I only homeschooled in CA and NM, and they're both low regulation homeschool states. I never had any problems. I imagine that if I had to move to a high regulation state, I'd just jump through their hoops, knowing that it, too, was temporary. Like Mary said, homeschooling actually made the moves easier on the kids because they didn't have to change schools mid-year.

 

I guess it comes down to not worrying about things over which I had no control. Orders weren't orders until we had them in our hand. My dh's career path was pretty stable since there are only a handful of places that do what he does -- we pretty much knew that he wouldn't be deployed. But, we had other issues to deal with. He had assignments that required him to be TDY two out of every four weeks. The constant change was difficult to deal with. There were assignments that required him to be on call 24/7. We couldn't plan anything, and he couldn't tell me where he was because it was Top Secret. One assignment required him to be gone 15-18 hours a day. I think that was the hardest because he was there, but he wasn't *there*, kwim?

 

Hang in there. Try to roll with it. This, too, shall pass. . .

[TravelingChris]

Earlier in his career, I worried about being sent to an unfriendly homeschooling state which was certainly in the realm of possibilities since dh is a physicist and there is a lab in NY and a base in MA he could be sent to. The problems with those states didn't end with homeschooling (the hard winters would be very difficult for me with my arthritis) and the lab in NY didn't have a base to go with it and was about a hundred miles from a sizeable city. We never got stationed in either place. We wer stationed in moderate to easy states and overseas. Now that he is 21 1/2 years in, I want him to stay in until next August so he can transfer GI Bill benefits but we will see.

 

I do know that it is a lot easier moving now than it was when we started.

 

THe deal with changed orders depends a lot on your service. We are AF and it tends not to do that very often but it does have a tendency to be very late in giving orders.

[nukeswife]

Well I've been married to a sailor for 11 years and we've homeschooled for only 2, my kids are still young. We did do a "by choice" unaccompanied tour but that was not because the navy wouldn't move us. It was because a month after getting to the ship they were leaving for deployment and then after deployment it was changing homeports to do a major overhaul and maintainence period. How do I deal, I guess I just do. We've never had them change orders last minute but we know it's a possiblility and for some reason they tend to not give dh new orders until about 2 months before we move. We've only been in what would be considered mid-regulation states, although if we had to go to a high one I'd deal with it. I make it a point to keep a log of all we do and a portfolio along with standardized test scores even if the state we're in doesn't require it. As for when he's on deployment, that's when we get our best schooling done. We go like mad men so that when dh comes home we can take lots of time off.

[Christine]

So, you more experienced moms in this area - how do you handle the stress of the impending move?

 

One day at a time. Really, I find the dealing with the movers the most stressful thing, so we "ditty" if at all possible (not possible the last 3 moves as they were overseas). The rest of it I see almost as an exciting adventure.

 

What if you get sent to a state that is not homeschool friendly?

 

Most "homeschool 'unfriendly'" states I have discovered aren't near bad at all. The thing that seems to qualify them as "unfriendly" is paperwork, and after being in the military so long, paperwork is a non-issue for me!

 

How do you handle the wait and the constant changes ("you are going here." "no, you are going there". "how does "over here sound". "we definitely want you there").

 

Army? (Sounds like such an Army thing to me, and we are.) Don't. The best advice in that area was already given. It doesn't mean squat till the orders are cut. Remember, the "dream sheet" is just that, a "dream". One thing we did do was go through not only hs laws for our options, but also things available in the communities. (As a homeschooler, I find, the community is very important.)

 

 

How about being separated due to unaccompanied tours??

 

Have been fortunate enough, that the worse I've had to deal with is deployments. Sorry, can't help ya there.

[autumndivona]

Hubby has been in the USAF for 24 years (with no intention of retiring anytime soon). We have been in Delaware for nearly 10 years and they are very lenient with homeschooling, which is great.

 

Of course, just as I had to turn in our paperwork declaring that we would homeschooling this year (when our son is eligible for kindergarten), we got the notice about his remote to Korea (this is his 2nd time doing it). So we immediately put in our requests. EDIT - by the way, I LOVE it when he goes away. I really cherish my "alone time", so the solitude makes me very happy. When he is TDY or on a remote, I have more than enough to do to keep me busy, and I also like not sharing the TV. Heh heh. There is nothing better than NOT having to say, "Oh, you're going to watch 'NCIS', honey?", but rather being able to put my feet up with my favorite anime in a quiet house, for about an hour before bed.

 

This will be my first PCS since '99, and I basically just tried to avoid California. :eek:

 

We're hoping for Alaska (our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choices for a nonConus assignment) and I really do try to look for states that aren't super harsh with homeschooling. I do a bit of research beforehand to try to find out the laws, find homeschool groups that I will potentially want to join, and to get an idea of the overall attitude with regard to hsing in the state.