Funeral flowers - etiquette?

[athena1277]

I need to order flowers for my grandmother's funeral. I'm not getting something huge or on a stand, just a vase or basket of flowers from my family and my brother. I have a discount code for an online florist I used for mother's day flowers and was pleased with the flowers. The code doesn't seem to be good for the flowers listed for funerals. But "funeral" flowers are so colorful and varied, I wonder if I could have "regular" flowers sent and use the code. Is there a difference in regular vs funeral flowers that I'm not seeing?

[bookfiend]

Use the code for whatever flowers you think would please your Mom. One of the most beautiful arrangments we received for my Father's funeral was all white.

[eternalknot]

Not that I've noticed.

 

I do know that in my culture, certain flowers are "funeral flowers" and certain flowers are NOT ... but since this is for your own family, you'd know best if this applied. And you could still maybe hand-select something appropriate.

 

I'd use the coupon code.

 

I'm sorry to hear of your loss :(

[athena1277]

Not that I've noticed.

 

I do know that in my culture, certain flowers are "funeral flowers" and certain flowers are NOT ... but since this is for your own family, you'd know best if this applied. And you could still maybe hand-select something appropriate.

 

I'd use the coupon code.

 

I'm sorry to hear of your loss :(

 

I just can't figure out what the "not" flowers are. Most of the people there probably won't know the difference, but still, I don't want to embarrass myself.

[eternalknot]

I just can't figure out what the "not" flowers are. Most of the people there probably won't know the difference, but still, I don't want to embarrass myself.

 

:grouphug: I don't think you would. And truly it's the thought that matters. Any busybodies giving you grief or looks otherwise, well ... they'd find something, if it weren't the flowers.

 

Where I'm from, funerals are very formal. We don't do bright, pretty smelling flowers. It's all very ... plain, subdued, bland. Mums are a good example, and those seem to be prevalent this time of year. Maybe those?

 

But I've been to a number of American funerals where the thought is "celebrate the life" so it's not uncommon or even wrong to have fragrant, beautiful and colorful bouquets. If I were unsure, as you are, I'd use the discount code and select something close to what the company also offered on the funeral side. If they're offering bright, colorful - go for it!

 

Alternatively you can never go wrong with a plant instead.

[dsmith]

We received many lovely arrangements when my mother passed. Quite a few of them were not the traditional funeral arrangements on stands. Our favorite was an arrangement of pink roses that was very understated and elegant. My mom would have loved it; pink roses were her favorite. I think nowadays, anything is acceptable. Any good florist would know what to leave out of an arrangement if it was going to a funeral home. (I'm thinking the arrangements that have little balloons and such.) When my father died, we received a few lovely houseplants. I took the nicest one home, and it lasted for over 10 years. I miss that plant! (And my dad!!)

[momofkhm]

Are you able to go to the funeral? Or will your mom end up with the flowers?

 

I ask because the times I've made it to the funeral of a relative, I've always been sent home with flowers. Often if someone knew who sent the flowers, they would take that basket/arrangement home. In this case, send what you would want to bring home. OR what your mom wold like at her house. This might sound crass, but you (or your mom) are the one to see them and by them remember grandmother. What do you want in your house?

 

But just as often the ones sent by close family (you being the granddaughter would count) are left at the cemetery. In this case, send whatever you want.

 

OH, and my mom has always said she prefers when people send potted plants. That way she gets the reminder longer of both the loved one who died and the care of the person who sent them.

 

Sorry for your loss. :grouphug: It's never easy to lose someone close.