Danestress Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 (edited) You don't have to JAWM. In fact, I am of two minds about this, so I am not sure there is any JAingWM. But don't quote me, ok? My 24 year old son is having hernia surgery next week. It's the same surgery my husband had ten years ago. He asked me to take him to the hospital, which is fine. I made arrangements for my other kids and am pleased to take him. Today he told me his girl friend is taking him, but I should go too. I don't really think there needs to be two of us there, and in fact it seems like kind of a long awkward day for two people who don't really know each other. I do like her - I have only met her once because she works long, odd hours, many nights, and doesn't have the same days off my son has. So typically when he has a day off, we see him for dinner, but she is working. She seems very very sweet and nice, though. So of course I spoke without really thinking and said that two people there isn't really necessary. I think it hurt his feelings. He made some snide comment about me making excuses not to do things I don't want to do. The truth is, I did want to take him, but I don't really want to be a third wheel, and I wouldn't necessarily want my boyfriend/husband's Mom hanging out at the hospital for a minor surgery with me. I don't actually know how she feels, though. Maybe she is fine with it. I wish I hadn't said anything and had just gone. But it does seem odd to me to take both your Mom and girlfriend for an outpatient surgery. I will say he is a massive, massive medical worrier. No one else is our family is like he is. I've had surgeries of comparable invasiveness and recovery, and didn't really worry at all. He's seriously been taking about "what if I die on the operating table?" Sigh. So maybe that kind of drama bugs me a little. But I do know this is sort of a harder recovery than the doctors warned us about when it was DH. Anyway, he left after dinner without speaking to me (I was out back). I am sure it will blow over, but I don't know if I should facilitate that by calling and begging to go to the hospital or if I should just let him figure it out, since he was sort of rude to me. But if you can't stress out about surgery and be rude to your Mom, who are you going to do it to, right? I personally think he should let his girl friend take him and let me meet them after he gets home, because she will have to go to work and he will probably need someone with him. But my younger children are teenagers, so I can totally manage to take the whole day if I need to and he wants me to. He's my most complicated child:( Well, so far, lol. Edited September 24, 2012 by Danestress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.